the friendly road-第29节

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It　is　the　final　conflict；　Let　each　stand　in　his　place；　The　Brotherhood　of　Man　Shall　be　the　human　race。

It　was　beyond　belief；　to　me；　the　spirit　with　which　these　words　were　sung。　In　no　sense　with　jollityall　that　seemed　to　have　been　dropped　when　they　came　to　their　feetbut　with　an　unmistakable　fervour　of　faith。　Some　of　the　things　I　had　thought　and　dreamed　about　secretly　among　the　hills　of　my　farm　all　these　years；　dreamed　about　as　being　something　far　off　and　as　unrealizable　as　the　millennium；　were　here　being　sung　abroad？　with　jaunty　faith　by　these　weavers　of　Kilburn；　these　weavers　and　workers　whom　I　had　schooled　myself　to　regard　with　a　sort　of　distant　pity。

Hardly　had　the　company　sat　down　again；　with　a　renewal　of　the　flow　of　jolly　conversation　When　I　heard　a　rapping　on　one　of　the　tables。　I　saw　the　great　form　of　R…　D…　slowly　rising。

〃Brothers　and　sisters；〃　he　said；　〃a　word　of　caution。　The　authorities　will　lose　no　chance　of　putting　us　in　the　wrong。　Above　all　we　must　comport　ourselves　here　and　in　the　strike　with　great　care。　We　are　fighting　a　great　battle；　bigger　than　we　are〃

At　this　instant　the　door　from　the　dark　hallway　suddenly　opened　and　a　man　in　a　policeman's　uniform　stepped　in。　There　fell　an　instant's　dead　silencean　explosive　silence。　Every　person　there　seemed　to　be　petrified　in　the　position　in　which　his　attention　was　attracted。　Every　eye　was　fixed　on　the　figure　at　the　door。　For　an　instant　no　one　said　a　word；　then　I　heard　a　woman's　shrill　voice；　like　a　rifle…shot：

〃Assassin！〃

I　cannot　imagine　what　might　have　happened　next；　for　the　feeling　in　the　room；　as　in　the　city　itself；　was　at　the　tenses；　had　not　the　leader　suddenly　brought　the　goblet　which　he　held　in　his　hand　down　with　a　bang　upon　the　table。

〃As　I　was　saying；〃　he　continued　in　a　steady；　clear　voice；　〃we　are　fighting　to…day　the　greatest　of　battles；　and　we　cannot　permit　trivial　incidents；　or　personal　bitterness；　or　small　persecutions；　to　turn　us　from　the　great　work　we　have　in　hand。　However　our　opponents　may　comport　themselves；　we　must　be　calm；　steady；　sure；　patient；　for　we　know　that　our　cause　is　just　and　will　prevail。〃

〃You're　right；〃　shouted　a　voice　back　in　the　room。

Instantly　the　tension　relaxed；　conversation　started　again　and　every　one　turned　away　from　the　policeman　at　the　door。　In　a　few　minutes；　he　disappeared　without　having　said　a　word。

There　was　no　regular　speaking；　and　about　midnight　the　party　began　to　break　up。　I　leaned　over　and　said　to　my　friend　Bill　Hahn：

〃Can　you　find　me　a　place　to　sleep　tonight？〃

〃Certainly　I　can；〃　he　said　heartily。

There　was　to　be　a　brief　conference　of　the　leaders　after　the　supper；　and　those　present　soon　departed。　I　went　down　the　long；　dark　stairway　and　out　into　the　almost　deserted　street。　Looking　up　between　the　buildings　I　could　see　the　clear　blue　sky　and　the　stars。　And　I　walked　slowly　up　and　down　awaiting　my　friend　and　trying；　vainly　to　calm　my　whirling　emotions。

He　came　at　last　and　I　went　with　him。　That　night　I　slept　scarcely　at　all；　but　lay　looking　up　into　the　darkness。　And　it　seemed　as　though；　as　I　lay　there；　listening；　that　I　could　hear　the　city　moving　in　its　restless　sleep　and　sighing　as　with　heavy　pain。　All　night　long　I　lay　there　thinking。



CHAPTER　XI。　I　COME　TO　GRAPPLE　WITH　THE　CITY　I　have　laughed　heartily　many　times　since　I　came　home　to　think　of　the　Figure　of　Tragedy　I　felt　myself　that　morning　in　the　city　of　Kilburn。　I　had　not　slept　well；　had　not　slept　at　all；　I　think；　and　the　experiences　and　emotions　of　the　previous　night　still　lay　heavy　upon　me。　Not　before　in　many　years　had　I　felt　such　a　depression　of　the　spirits。

It　was　all　so　different　from　the　things　I　love！　Not　so　much　as　a　spear　of　grass　or　a　leafy　tree　to　comfort　the　eye；　or　a　bird　to　sing；　no　quiet　hills；　no　sight　of　the　sun　coming　up　in　the　morning　over　dewy　fields；　no　sound　of　cattle　in　the　lane；　no　cheerful　cackling　of　fowls；　nor　buzzing　of　bees！　That　morning；　I　remember；　when　I　first　went　out　into　those　squalid　streets　and　saw　everywhere　the　evidences　of　poverty；　dirt；　and　ignoranceand　the　sweet；　clean　country　not　two　miles　awaythe　thought　of　my　own　home　among　the　hills　（with　Harriet　there　in　the　doorway）　came　upon　me　with　incredible　longing。

〃I　must　go　home；　I　must　go　home！〃　I　caught　myself　saying　aloud。

I　remember　how　glad　I　was　when　I　found　that　my　friend　Bill　Hahn　and　other　leaders　of　the　strike　were　to　be　engaged　in　conferences　during　the　forenoon；　for　I　wanted　to　be　alone；　to　try　to　get　a　few　things　straightened　out　in　my　mind。

But　I　soon　found　that　a　city　is　a　poor　place　for　reflection　or　contemplation。　It　bombards　one　with　an　infinite　variety　of　new　impressions　and　new　adventures；　and　I　could　not　escape　the　impression　made　by　crowded　houses；　and　ill…smelling　streets；　and　dirty　sidewalks；　and　swarming　human　beings。　For　a　time　the　burden　of　these　things　rested　upon　my　breast　like　a　leaden　weight；　they　all　seemed　so　utterly　wrong　to　me；　so　unnecessary；　so　unjust！　I　sometimes　think　of　religion　as　only　a　high　sense　of　good　order；　and　it　seemed　to　me　that　morning　as　though　the　very　existence　of　this　disorderly　mill　district　was　a　challenge　to　religion；　and　an　offence　to　the　Orderer　of　an　Orderly　Universe。　I　don't　now　how　such　conditions　may　affect　other　people；　but　for　a　time　I　felt　a　sharp　sense　of　impatienceyes；　angerwith　it　all。　I　had　an　impulse　to　take　off　my　coat　then　and　there　and　go　at　the　job　of　setting　things　to　rights。　Oh；　I　never　was　more　serious　in　my　life：　I　was　quite　prepared　to　change　the　entire　scheme　of　things　to　my　way　of　thinking　whether　the　people　who　lived　there　liked　it　or　not。　It　seemed　to　me　for　a　few　glorious　moments　that　I　had　only　to　tell　them　of　the　wonders　in　our　country；　the　pleasant；　quiet　roads；　the　comfortable　farmhouses；　the　fertile　fields；　and　the　wooded　hillsand；　poof！　all　this　crowded　poverty　would　dissolve　and　disappear；　and　they　would　all　come　to　the　country　and　be　as　happy　as　I　was。

I　remember　how；　once　in　my　life；　I　wasted　untold　energy　trying　to　make　over　my　dearest　friends。　There　was　Harriet；　for　example　dear；　serious；　practical　Harriet。　I　used　to　be　fretted　by　the　way　she　was　forever　trying　to　clip　my　wing　feathersI　suppose　to　keep　me　close　to　the　quiet　and　friendly　and　unadventurous　roost！　We　come　by　such　a　long；　long　road；　sometimes；　to　the　acceptance　of　our　nearest　friends　for　exactly　what　they　are。　Because　we　are　so　fond　of　them　we　try　to　make　them　over　to　suit　some　curious　ideal　of　perfection　of　our　ownuntil　one　day　we　suddenly　laugh　aloud　at　our　own　absurdity　（knowing　that　they　are　probably　trying　as　hard　to　reconstruct　us　as　we　are　to　reconstruct　them）　and　thereafter　we　try　no　more　to　change　them；　we　just　love　'em　and　enjoy　'em！

Some　such　psychological　process　went　on　in　my　consciousness　that　morning。　As　I　walked　briskly　through　the　streets　I　began　to　look　out　more　broadly　around　me。　It　was　really　a　perfect　spring　morning；　the　air　crisp；　fresh；　and　sunny；　and　the　streets　full　of　life　and　activity。　I　looked　into　the　faces　of　the　people　I　met；　and　it　began　to　strike　me　that　most　of　them　seemed　oblivious　of　the　fact　that　they　should；　by　good　rights；　be　looking　downcast　and　dispirited。　They　had　cheered　their　approval　the　night　before　when　the　speakers　had　told　them　how　miserable　they　were　（even　acknowledging　that　they　were　slaves）；　and　yet　here　they　were　this　morning　looking　positively　good…humoured；　cheerful；　some　of　them　even　gay。　I　warrant　if　I　had　stepped　up　to　one　of　them　that　morning　and　intimated　that　he　was　a　slave　he　would　havewell；　I　should　have　had　serious　trouble　with　him！　There　was　a　degree　of　sociability　in　those　back　streets；　a　visiting　from　window　to　window；　gossipy　gatherings　in　front　area…ways；　a　sort　of　pavement　domesticity；　that　I　had　never　seen　before。　Being　a　lover　myself　of　such　friendly　intercourse　I　could　actually　feel　the　hum　and　warmth　of　that　neighbourhood。

A　group　of　brightly　clad　girl　strikers　gathered　on　a　corner　were　chatting　and　laughing；　and　children　in　plenty　ran　and　shouted　at　their　play　in　the　street。　I　saw　a　group　of　them　dancing　merrily　around　an　Italian　hand…organ　man　who　was　filling　the　air　with　jolly　music。　I　recall　what　a　sinking　sensation　I　had　at　the　pit　of　my　reformer's　stomach　when　it　suddenly　occurred　to　me　that　these　people　some　of　them；　anyway；　might　actually　LIKE　this　crowded；　sociable　neighbourhood！　〃They　might　even　HATE　the　country；〃　I　exclaimed。

It　is　surely　one　of　the　fundamental　humours　of　life　to　see　absurdly　serious　little　human　beings　（like　D。　G。　for　example）　trying　to　stand　in　the　place　of　the　Almighty。　We　are　so　confoundedly　infallible　in　our　judgments；　so　sure　of　what　is　good　for　our　neighbour；　so　eager　to　force　upon　him　our　particular　doctors　or　our　particular　remedies；　we　are　so　willing　to　put　our　childish　fingers　into　the　machinery　of　creationand　we　howl　so　lustily　when　we　get　them　pinched！

〃Why！〃　I　exclaimed；　for　it　came　to　me　like　a　new　discovery；　〃it's　exactly　the　same　here　as　it　is　in　the　country！　I　haven't　got　to　make　over　the　universe：　I've　only　got　to　do　my　own　small　job；　and　to　look　up　often　at　the　trees　and　the　hills　and　the　sky　and　be　friendly　with　all　men。〃

I　cannot　express　the　sense　of　comfort；　and　of　trust；　which　this　reflection　brought　me。　I　recall　stopping　just　then　at　the　corner　of