the friendly road-第10节

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　the　moment　lifted　him　above　himself：　it　was　the　Church　which　spoke。

I　was　on　my　feet　in　an　instant；　regretting　the　pain　I　had　given　him；　and　yet　it　seemed　worth　while　now；　having　made　my　inadvertent　remark；　to　show　him　frankly　what　lay　in　my　mind。　Such　things　sometimes　help　men。

〃I　meant　no　offence；　sir；〃　I　said；　〃and　I　apologize　for　my　flummery；　but　when　I　saw　you　coming　up　the　hill；　looking　so　gloomy　and　disconsolate　on　this　bright　day；　as　though　you　disapproved　of　God's　world；　the　question　slipped　out　before　I　knew　it。〃

My　words　evidently　struck　deep　down　into　some　disturbed　inner　consciousness；　for　he　askedand　his　words　seemed　to　slip　out　before　he　thought：

〃Is　THAT　the　way　I　impressed　you？〃

I　found　my　heart　going　out　strongly　toward　him。　〃Here；〃　I　thought　to　myself；　〃is　a　man　in　trouble。〃

I　took　a　good　long　look　at　him。　He　still　a　young　man；　though　worn…lookingand　sad　as　I　now　saw　it；　rather　than　gloomywith　the　sensitive　lips　and　the　unworldly　look　one　sees　sometimes　in　the　faces　of　saints。　His　black　coat　was　immaculately　neat；　but　the　worn　button…covers　and　the　shiny　lapels　told　their　own　eloquent　story。　Oh；　it　seemed　to　me　I　knew　him　as　well　as　if　every　incident　of　his　life　were　written　plainly　upon　his　high；　pale　forehead！　I　have　lived　long　in　a　country　neighbourhood；　and　I　knew　himpoor　flagellant　of　the　rural　churchI　knew　how　he　groaned　under　the　sins　of　a　Community　too　comfortably　willing　to　cast　all　its　burdens　on　the　Lord；　or　on　the　Lord's　accredited　local　representative。　I　inferred　also　the　usual　large　family　and　the　low　salary　（scandalously　unpaid）　and　the　frequent　moves　from　place　to　place。

Unconsciously　heaving　a　sigh　the　young　man　turned　partly　aside　and　said　to　me　in　a　low；　gentle　voice：

〃You　are　detaining　my　boys　from　church。〃

〃I　am　very　sorry；〃　I　said；　〃and　I　will　detain　them　no　longer；〃　and　with　that　I　put　aside　my　whistle；　took　up　my　bag　and　moved　down　the　hill　with　them。

〃The　fact　is；〃　I　said；　〃when　I　heard　your　bell　I　thought　of　going　to　church　myself。〃

〃Did　you？〃　he　asked　eagerly。　〃Did　you？〃

I　could　see　that　my　proposal　of　going　to　church　had　instantly　affected　his　spirits。　Then　he　hesitated　abruptly　with　a　sidelong　glance　at　my　bag　and　rusty　clothing。　I　could　see　exactly　what　was　passing　in　his　mind。

〃No；〃　I　said；　smiling；　as　though　answering　a　spoken　question；　〃I　am　not　exactly　what　you　would　call　a　tramp。〃

He　flushed。

〃I　didn't　meanI　WANT　you　to　come。　That's　what　a　church　is　for。　If　I　thought〃

But　he　did　not　tell　me　what　he　thought；　and；　though　he　walked　quietly　at　my　side；　he　was　evidently　deeply　disturbed。　Something　of　his　discouragement　I　sensed　even　then；　and　I　don't　think　I　was　ever　sorrier　for　a　man　in　my　life　than　I　was　for　him　at　that　moment。　Talk　about　the　suffering　sinners！　I　wonder　if　they　are　to　be　compared　with　the　trials　of　the　saints？

So　we　approached　the　little　white　church；　and　caused；　I　am　certain；　a　tremendous　sensation。　Nowhere　does　the　unpredictable；　the　unusual；　excite　such　confusion　as　in　that　settled　institutionthe　church。

I　left　my　bag　in　the　vestibule；　where　I　have　no　doubt　it　was　the　object　of　much　inquiring　and　suspicious　scrutiny；　and　took　my　place　in　a　convenient　pew。　It　was　a　small　church　with　an　odd　air　of　domesticity；　and　the　proportion　of　old　ladies　and　children　in　the　audience　was　pathetically　large。　As　a　ruddy；　vigorous；　out…of…door　person；　with　the　dust　of　life　upon　him；　I　felt　distinctly　out　of　place。

I　could　pick　out　easily　the　Deacon；　the　Old　Lady　Who　Brought　Flowers；　the　President　of　the　Sewing　Circle；　and；　above　all；　the　Chief　Pharisee；　sitting　in　his　high　place。　The　Chief　Phariseehis　name　I　learned　was　Nash；　Mr。　J。　H。　Nash　（I　did　not　know　then　that　I　was　soon　to　make　his　acquaintance）the　Chief　Pharisee　looked　as　hard　as　nails；　a　middle…aged　man　with　stiff　chin…whiskers；　small　round；　sharp　eyes；　and　a　pugnacious　jaw。

〃That　man；〃　said　I　to　myself；　〃runs　this　church；〃　and　instantly　I　found　myself　looking　upon　him　as　a　sort　of　personification　of　the　troubles　I　had　seen　in　the　minister's　eyes。

I　shall　not　attempt　to　describe　the　service　in　detail。　There　was　a　discouraging　droop　and　quaver　in　the　singing；　and　the　mournful…looking　deacon；　who　passed　the　collection…plate　seemed　inured　to　disappointment。　The　prayer　had　in　it　a　note　of　despairing　appeal　which　fell　like　a　cold　hand　upon　one's　living　soul。　It　gave　one　the　impression　that　this　was　indeed　a　miserable；　dark；　despairing　world；　which　deserved　to　be　wrathfully　destroyed；　and　that　this　miserable　world　was　full　of　equally　miserable；　broken；　sinful；　sickly　people。

The　sermon　was　a　little　better；　for　somewhere　hidden　within　him　this　pale　young　man　had　a　spark　of　the　divine　fire；　but　it　was　so　dampened　by　the　atmosphere　of　the　church　that　it　never　rose　above　a　pale　luminosity。

I　found　the　service　indescribably　depressing。　I　had　an　impulse　to　rise　up　and　cry　outalmost　anything　to　shock　these　people　into　opening　their　eyes　upon　real　life。　Indeed；　though　I　hesitate　about　setting　it　down　here；　I　was　filled　for　some　time　with　the　liveliest　imaginings　of　the　following　serio…comic　enterprise：

I　would　step　up　the　aisle；　take　my　place　in　front　of　the　Chief　Pharisee；　wag　my　finger　under　his　nose；　and　tell　him　a　thing　or　two　about　the　condition　of　the　church。

〃The　only　live　thing　here；〃　I　would　tell　him；　〃is　the　spark　in　that　pale　minister's　soul；　and　you're　doing　your　best　to　smother　that。〃

And　I　fully　made　up　my　mind　that　when　he　answered　back　in　his　chief…pharisaical　way　I　would　gentlybut　firmly　remove　him　from　his　seat；　shake　him　vigorously　two　or　three　times　（men's　souls　have　often　been　saved　with　less！）；　deposit　him　flat　in　the　aisle；　and　yesstand　on　him　while　I　elucidated　the　situation　to　the　audience　at　large。　While　I　confined　this　amusing　and　interesting　project　to　the　humours　of　the　imagination　I　am　still　convinced　that　something　of　the　sort　would　have　helped　enormously　in　clearing　up　the　religious　and　moral　atmosphere　of　the　place。

I　had　a　wonderful　sensation　of　relief　when　at　last　I　stepped　out　again　into　the　clear　afternoon　sunshine　and　got　a　reviving　glimpse　of　the　smiling　green　hills　and　the　quiet　fields　and　the　sincere　treesand　felt　the　welcome　of　the　friendly　road。

I　would　have　made　straight　for　the　hills；　but　the　thought　of　that　pale　minister　held　me　back；　and　I　waited　quietly　there　under　the　trees　till　he　came　out。　He　was　plainly　looking　for　me；　and　asked　me　to　wait　and　walk　along　with　him；　at　which　his　four　boys；　whose　acquaintance　I　had　made　under　such　thrilling　circumstances　earlier　in　the　day；　seemed　highly　delighted；　and　waited　with　me　under　the　tree　and　told　me　a　hundred　important　things　about　a　certain　calf；　a　pig；　a　kite；　and　other　things　at　home。

Arriving　at　the　minister's　gate；　I　was　invited　in　with　a　whole…heartedness　that　was　altogether　charming。　The　minister's　wife；　a　faded…looking　woman　who　had　once　possessed　a　delicate　sort　of　prettiness；　was　waiting　for　us　on　the　steps　with　a　fine　chubby　baby　on　her　armnumber　five。

The　home　was　much　the　sort　of　place　I　had　imagineda　small　house　undesirably　located　（but　cheap！）；　with　a　few　straggling　acres　of　garden　and　meadow　upon　which　the　minister　and　his　boys　were　trying　with　inexperienced　hands　to　piece　out　their　inadequate　living。　At　the　very　first　glimpse　of　the　garden　I　wanted　to　throw　off　my　coat　and　go　at　it。

And　yetand　yet…what　a　wonderful　thing　love　is！　There　was；　after　all；　something　incalculable；　something　pervasively　beautiful　about　this　poor　household。　The　moment　the　minister　stepped　inside　his　own　door　he　became　a　different　and　livelier　person。　Something　boyish　crept　into　his　manner；　and　a　new　look　came　into　the　eyes　of　his　faded　wife　that　made　her　almost　pretty　again。　And　the　fat；　comfortable　baby　rolled　and　gurgled　about　on　the　floor　as　happily　as　though　there　had　been　two　nurses　and　a　governess　to　look　after　him。　As　for　the　four　boys；　I　have　never　seen　healthier　or　happier　ones。

I　sat　with　them　at　their　Sunday…evening　luncheon。　As　the　minister　bowed　his　head　to　say　grace　I　felt　him　clasp　my　hand　on　one　side　while　the　oldest　boy　clasped　my　hand　on　the　other；　and　thus；　linked　together；　and　accepting　the　stranger　utterly；　the　family　looked　up　to　God。

There　was　a　fine；　modest　gayety　about　the　meal。　In　front　of　Mrs。　Minister　stood　a　very　large　yellow　bowl　filled　with　what　she　called　ruska　preparation　unfamiliar　to　me；　made　by　browning　and　crushing　the　crusts　of　bread　and　then　rolling　them　down　into　a　coarse　meal。　A　bowl　of　this；　with　sweet；　rich；　yellow　milk　（for　they　kept　their　own　cow）；　made　one　of　the　most　appetizing　dishes　that　ever　I　ate。　It　was　downright　good：　it　gave　one　the　unalloyed　aroma　of　the　sweet　new　milk　and　the　satisfying　taste　of　the　crisp　bread。

Nor　have　I　ever　enjoyed　a　more　perfect　hospitality。　I　have　been　in　many　a　richer　home　where　there　was　not　a　hundredth　part　of　the　true　gentilitythe　gentility　of　unapologizing　simplicity　and　kindness。

And　after　it　was　over　and　cleared　awaythe　minister　himself　donning　a　long　apron　and　helping　his　wifeand　the　chubby　baby　put　to　bed；　we　all　sat　around　the　table　in　the　gathering　twilight。

I　think　men　perish　sometimes　from　sheer　untalked　talk。　For　lack　of　a　creative　listener　they　gradually　fill