frederick the great and his family-第136节
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amation…point than a man。 When he appears before me in his yellow…gray riding costume； I am always reminded of the great windspeil you gave me once； stepfather； who had such long； high legs； I used to creep under them； and when he lies like a windspeil at my feet； and squints at me； his eyes seem tied up in knots； and I never know if he is really looking at me； or is about to fall into a swoon。 Now； stepfather； do you not find that Lord Elliot does honor to my taste？〃
〃Certainly； and all the more because your choice proves that you appreciate the true dignity and beauty of a man； and his outward appearance seems to you comparatively insignificant。〃
〃Alas； alas！ now you begin also to attribute noble and exalted motives to me；〃 said Camilla pathetically。 〃No； no； stepfather； I am not so sublime as you think； and I should not have married Lord Elliot if mamma and myself had not both indulged the ardent wish to be released from each other。 Mamma is too young and too beautiful to be willing to have a grown…up daughter who is not ugly by her side； and I was too old to be locked up any longer in the nursery； so I stepped literally from the nursery to the altar； and became the wife of Lord Elliot； so mamma and myself were freed from the presence of each other； and I thought that a time of joy and liberty would bloom for me。 But； alas； I have only changed my cage； formerly I was confined in a nursery； now my prison is a temple； because my husband says I am too elevated； too angelic to come in contact with the pitiful world。 Ah。 I long so for the world； I am so thirsty for its pleasures； I would so gladly take full draughts of joy from its golden cup！ My husband comes and offers me a crystal shell； filled with heavenly dew and ether dust； which is； I suppose； angels' food； but he does not remark that I am hungering and thirsting to death。 Like King Midas； before whose thirsty lips every thing turned to gold； and who was starving in the midst of all his glory； I beseech you； stepfather； undertake the role of the barber； bore a hole and cry out in it that I have ass's earsears as long as those of King Midas。 Perhaps the rushes would grow again and make known to my lord the simple fact； which up to this time he refuses to believe； that I am indeed no angel； and he would cease to worship me； and allow me to be gay and happy upon the earth like every other woman。 But come； come； stepfather； I hear the earnest voice of my husband in conversation with my merry； handsome cousin。 Let us go to meet them； and grant me the pleasure of introducing Lord Elliot to younot here； but in the brilliantly lighted saloon。 Afterward I will ask you； on your word of honor； if you still find I have made a happy choice； and if my windspeil of a husband is of more value than my handsome cousin？〃
She took the arm of the major with a gay smile； and tried to draw him forward。
〃But your mother；〃 said Du Trouffle； 〃you forget your mother？〃
〃Listen now； mamma； how cruel he is； always reminding you that you are my mother； that is as much as to say to you； in other words； that you will soon be a grandmother。 Mamma； I could die of laughter to think of you as a grandmother。 I assure you； mamma； that in the midst of all my sorrows and disappointments this thought is the only thing which diverts and delights me。 Only think； I shall soon make you a worthy grandmother。 Say now； grandmother； will you come with us？〃
〃No； I will remain here； your gayety has made me sadI do not feel fit for society。 I will await my husband here； and we will return to Berlin。〃
〃Adieu； then； mamma；〃 said Camilla； rapidly drawing the major onward。
Louise du Trouffle remained alone in the grotto； she leaned her head against the palm…tree； and looked sorrowfully after the retreating form of her daughter。 It seemed to her that a shudder passed through her soul； that a cold； dead hand was laid upon her heart； as if a phantom pressed against her； and a voice whispered： 〃This is thy work。 Oh； mother worthy of execration； you alone have caused the destruction of your daughter； through you that soul is lost； which God intrusted to you； and which was endowed with the germ of great and noble qualities。 It was your duty to nourish and build them up。 God will one day call you to account； and ask this precious soul of you； which you have poisoned by your evil example； which is lost lost through you alone。〃
Louise shuddered fearfully； then rousing herself she tried to shake off these fearful thoughts； and free herself from the stern voices which mastered her。 They had so often spoken； so often awaked her in the middle of the night； driven sleep from her couch； and tortured her conscience with bitter reproaches！
Louise knew well this gray phantom which was ever behind her or at her side； ever staring at her with dark and deadly earnestness； even in the midst of her mirth and joyousness； the harsh voice was often so loud that Louise was bewildered by it； and could not hear the ring of joy and rapture which surrounded her。 She knew that this pale spectre was conscience； press it down as she would； the busy devil was ever mounting； mounting。 But she would not listen； she rushed madly on after new distractions； new pleasures； she quenched the warning voice under shouts of mirth and levity； she threw herself in the arms of folly and worldly pleasures； and then for long months she escaped this threatening phantom； which； with raised finger； stood behind her； which seemed to chase her； and from which she ever fled to new sins and new guilt。 Sometimes she had a feeling as if Death held her in his arms； and turned her round in a wild and rapid dance； not regarding her prayers； or her panting； gasping breath； she would； oh how gladly； have rested； gladly have laid down in some dark and quiet corner； away from this wild gayety。 But she could not escape from those mysterious arms which held her captive in their iron clasp； which rushed onward with her in the death…dance of sin。 She must go onward； ever onward； in this career of vice； she must ever again seek intoxication in the opium of sin； to save herself from the barren； colorless nothingness which awaited her； from that worst of all evils； the weariness with which the old coquette paints the terrible future； in which even she can no longer please； in which old age with a cruel hand sweeps away the flowers from the hair and the crimson from the cheek； and points out to the mocking world the wrinkles on the brow and the ashes in the hair。
〃It is cold here；〃 said Louise； shuddering； and springing up quickly from the grass…plot〃it is cold here； and lonely； I will return to the saloon。 Perhaps〃
Hasty steps drew near； and a voice whispered her name。 Madame du Trouffle drew back； and a glowing blush suffused her cheek； and as she advanced from the grotto she was again the gay； imperious coquettethe beautiful woman； with the cloudless brow and the sparkling eyes； which seemed never to have been over…shadowed by tears。 The conscience…stricken； self…accusing mother was again the worldly…wise coquette。
Her name was called the second time； and her heart trembled； she knew not if with joy or horror。
〃For God's sake； why have you dared to seek me here？ Do you not know that my husband may return at any moment？〃
〃Your husband is entertaining Prince Henry while the princess dances the first waltz with Count Kalkreuth。 All the world is dancing； playing； and chatting； and； while looking at the prince and princess； have for one moment forgotten the beautiful Louise du Trouffle。 I alone could not do this； and as I learned from Lady Elliot that you were here； I dared to follow you； and seek in one glance a compensation for what I have endured this day。 Ah； tell me； worshipped lady； must I be forever banished from your presence。〃
The words of the young man would have seemed insincere and artificial to every unprejudiced ear； but they filled the heart of the vain Louise du Trouffle with joy； they convinced her that she was yet beautiful enough to excite admiration。
〃All will be well； Emil；〃 said she； 〃I have convinced my husband that I am wise as Cato and virtuous as Lucretia。 He believes in me； and will cast all slander from his door。 Remain here； and let me return alone to the saloon。 Au revoir； man ami。〃
She threw him a kiss from the tips of her rosy fingers； and hastened away。
CHAPTER IV。
THE KING IN SANS…SOUCI。
The ceremonies and festivities of the reception were ended。 The king could at length indulge himself in that quiet and repose which he had so long vainly desired。 At length； he who had lived so many years to perform the duties of a king； who had in reality lived for his country； might after so many cares and sorrows seek repose。 The warrior and hero might once more become the philosopher； might once more enjoy with his friends the pleasure of science and art。
The king entered the carriage which was to bear him to Sans…Souci with a beaming countenancehis deeply…loved Sans…Souci； which had seemed a golden dream to him during the dreary years of the wara bright goal before him； of which it consoled and strengthened him even to think。 Now he would again behold it； now he would again enter those beautiful rooms； and the past woul
