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were　the　forts　guarded；　without　having　his　head　taken　off　by　a

cannon…ball。　　Thus　the　three　conflicting　parties　stood；　close　to

each　other；　hating　each　other；　〃willing　to　wound　and　yet　afraid　to

strike〃the　victuals　in　the　forts；　from　the　prodigious　increase　of

the　garrisons；　getting　smaller　every　day。　　As　for　Louis　Philippe　in

his　palace；　in　the　centre　of　the　twenty…four　forts；　knowing　that　a

spark　from　one　might　set　them　all　blazing　away；　and　that　he　and　his

money…bags　might　be　blown　into　eternity　in　ten　minutes；　you　may

fancy　his　situation　was　not　very　comfortable。



But　his　safety　lay　in　his　treasure。　　Neither　the　Imperialists　nor

the　Bourbonites　were　willing　to　relinquish　the　two　hundred　and

fifty　billions　in　gold；　nor　would　the　Princes　of　Orleans　dare　to

fire　upon　that　considerable　sum　of　money；　and　its　possessor；　their

revered　father。　　How　was　this　state　of　things　to　end？　　The　Emperor

sent　a　note　to　his　Most　Christian　Majesty　（for　they　always　styled

each　other　in　this　manner　in　their　communications）；　proposing　that

they　should　turn　out　and　decide　the　quarrel　sword　in　hand；　to　which

proposition　Henri　would　have　acceded；　but　that　the　priests；　his

ghostly　counsellors；　threatened　to　excommunicate　him　should　he　do

so。　　Hence　this　simple　way　of　settling　the　dispute　was　impossible。



The　presence　of　the　holy　fathers　caused　considerable　annoyance　in

the　forts。　　Especially　the　poor　English；　as　Protestants；　were

subject　to　much　petty　persecution；　to　the　no　small　anger　of

Jenkins；　their　commander。　　And　it　must　be　confessed　that　these

intrepid　Footmen　were　not　so　amenable　to　discipline　as　they　might

have　been。　　Remembering　the　usages　of　merry　England；　they　clubbed

together；　and　swore　they　would　have　four　meals　of　meat　a　day；　wax…

candles　in　the　casemates；　and　their　porter。　　These　demands　were

laughed　at：　the　priests　even　called　upon　them　to　fast　on　Fridays；

on　which　a　general　mutiny　broke　out　in　the　regiment；　and　they　would

have　had　a　FOURTH　standard　raised　before　Parisviz。；　that　of

Englandbut　the　garrison　proving　too　strong　for　them；　they　were

compelled　to　lay　down　their　sticks；　and；　in　consideration　of　past

services；　were　permitted　to　leave　the　forts。　　'Twas　well　for　them！

as　you　shall　hear。



The　Prince　of　Ballybunion　and　the　Irish　force　were　quartered　in　the

fort　which；　in　compliment　to　them；　was　called　Fort　Potato；　and

where　they　made　themselves　as　comfortable　as　circumstances　would

admit。　　The　Princes　had　as　much　brandy　as　they　liked；　and　passed

their　time　on　the　ramparts　playing　at　dice；　or　pitch…and…toss　（with

the　halfpenny　that　one　of　them　somehow　had）　for　vast　sums　of　money；

for　which　they　gave　their　notes…of…hand。　　The　warriors　of　their

legion　would　stand　round　delighted；　and　it　was；　〃Musha；　Master　Dan；

but　that's　a　good　throw！〃　　〃Good　luck　to　you；　Misther　Pat；　and

throw　thirteen　this　time！〃　and　so　forth。　　But　this　sort　of　inaction

could　not　last　long。　　They　had　heard　of　the　treasures　amassed　in

the　palace　of　the　Tuileries：　they　sighed　when　they　thought　of　the

lack　of　bullion　in　their　green　and　beautiful　country。　　They　panted

for　war！　They　formed　their　plan。





CHAPTER　VIII。



THE　BATTLE　OF　THE　FORTS。





On　the　morning　of　the　26th　October；　1884；　as　his　Majesty　Louis

Philippe　was　at　breakfast　reading　the　Debats　newspaper；　and　wishing

that　what　the　journal　said　about　〃Cholera　Morbus　in　the　Camp　of　the

Pretender　Henri；〃〃Chicken…pox　raging　in　the　Forts　of　the　Traitor

Bonaparte；〃might　be　true；　what　was　his　surprise　to　hear　the

report　of　a　gun；　and　at　the　same　instantwhiz！　came　an　eighty…

four…pound　ball　through　the　window　and　took　off　the　head　of　the

faithful　Monsieur　de　Montalivet；　who　was　coming　in　with　a　plate　of

muffins。



〃Three　francs　for　the　window；〃　said　the　monarch；　〃and　the　muffins

of　course　spoiled！〃　and　he　sat　down　to　breakfast　very　peevishly。

Ah；　King　Louis　Philippe；　that　shot　cost　thee　more　than　a　window…

panemore　than　a　plate　of　muffinsit　cost　thee　a　fair　kingdom　and

fifty　millions　of　tax…payers。



The　shot　had　been　fired　from　Fort　Potato。　　〃Gracious　heavens！〃　said

the　commander　of　the　place　to　the　Irish　Prince；　in　a　fury；　〃What

has　your　Highness　done？〃　　〃Faix；〃　replied　the　other；　〃Donegal　and　I

saw　a　sparrow　on　the　Tuileries；　and　we　thought　we'd　have　a　shot　at

it；　that's　all。〃　　〃Hurroo！　look　out　for　squalls；〃　here　cried　the

intrepid　Hibernian；　for　at　this　moment　one　of　Paixhans'　shells　fell

into　the　counterscarp　of　the　demilune　on　which　they　were　standing；

and　sent　a　ravelin　and　a　couple　of　embrasures　flying　about　their

ears。



Fort　Twenty…three；　which　held　out　for　Louis　Philippe；　seeing　Fort

Twenty…four；　or　Potato；　open　a　fire　on　the　Tuileries；　instantly

replied　by　its　guns；　with　which　it　blazed　away　at　the　Bourbonite

fort。　　On　seeing　this；　Fort　Twenty…two）　occupied　by　the　Imperialists；

began　pummelling　Twenty…three；　Twenty…one　began　at　Twenty…two；　and

in　a　quarter　of　an　hour　the　whole　of　this　vast　line　of　fortification

was　in　a　blaze　of　flame；　flashing；　roaring；　cannonading；　rocketing；

bombing；　in　the　most　tremendous　manner。　　The　world　has　never　perhaps；

before　or　since；　heard　such　an　uproar。　　Fancy　twenty…four　thousand

guns　thundering　at　each　other。　　Fancy　the　sky　red　with　the　fires　of

hundreds　of　thousands　of　blazing；　brazen　meteors；　the　air　thick　with

impenetrable　smokethe　universe　almost　in　a　flame！　for　the　noise　of

the　cannonading　was　heard　on　the　peaks　of　the　Andes；　and　broke　three

windows　in　the　English　factory　at　Canton。　　Boom；　boom；　boom！

for　three　days　incessantly　the　giganticI　may　say；　Cyclopean

battle　went　on：　boom；　boom；　boom；　bong！　　The　air　was　thick　with

cannon…balls：　they　hurtled；　they　jostled　each　other　in　the　heavens；

and　fell　whizzing；　whirling；　crashing；　back　into　the　very　forts

from　which　they　came。　　Boom；　boom；　boom；　bongbrrwrrwrrr！



On　the　second　day　a　band　might　have　been　seen　（had　the　smoke

permitted　it）　assembling　at　the　sally…port　of　Fort　Potato；　and　have

been　heard　（if　the　tremendous　clang　of　the　cannonading　had　allowed

it）　giving　mysterious　signs　and　countersigns。　　〃Tom；〃　was　the　word

whispered；　〃Steele〃　was　the　sibilated　response。　　（It　is　astonishing

how；　in　the　roar　of　elements；　THE　HUMAN　WHISPER　hisses　above　all！）

It　was　the　Irish　Brigade　assembling。　　〃Now　or　never；　boys！〃　said

their　leaders；　and　sticking　their　doodeens　into　their　mouths；　they

dropped　stealthily　into　the　trenches；　heedless　of　the　broken　glass

and　sword…blades；　rose　from　those　trenches；　formed　in　silent　order；

and　marched　to　Paris。　　They　knew　they　could　arrive　there　unobserved

nobody；　indeed；　remarked　their　absence。



The　frivolous　Parisians　were；　in　the　meanwhile；　amusing　themselves

at　their　theatres　and　cafes　as　usual；　and　a　new　piece；　in　which

Arnal　performed；　was　the　universal　talk　of　the　foyers：　while　a　new

feuilleton　by　Monsieur　Eugene　Sue；　kept　the　attention　of　the　reader

so　fascinated　to　the　journal；　that　they　did　not　care　in　the　least

for　the　vacarme　without　the　walls。





CHAPTER　IX。



LOUIS　XVII。





The　tremendous　cannonading；　however；　had　a　singular　effect　upon　the

inhabitants　of　the　great　public　hospital　of　Charenton；　in　which　it

may　be　remembered　Louis　XVII。　had　been；　as　in　mockery；　confined。

His　majesty　of　demeanor；　his　calm　deportment；　the　reasonableness　of

his　pretensions；　had　not　failed　to　strike　with　awe　and　respect　his

four　thousand　comrades　of　captivity。　　The　Emperor　of　China；　the

Princess　of　the　Moon；　Julius　Caesar；　Saint　Genevieve；　the　patron

saint　of　Paris；　the　Pope　of　Rome；　the　Cacique　of　Mexico；　and

several　singular　and　illustrious　personages　who　happened　to　be

confined　there；　all　held　a　council　with　Louis　XVII。；　and　all　agreed

that　now　or　never　was　the　time　to　support　his　legitimate　pretensions

to　the　Crown　of　France。　　As　the　cannons　roared　around　them；　they

howled　with　furious　delight　in　response。　　They　took　counsel

together：　Dr。　Pinel　and　the　infamous　jailers；　who；　under　the　name　of

keepers；　held　them　in　horrible　captivity；　were　pounced　upon　and

overcome　in　a　twinkling。　　The　strait…waistcoats　were　taken　off　from

the　wretched　captives　languishing　in　the　dungeons；　the　guardians

were　invested　in　these　shameful　garments；　and　with　triumphant

laughter　plunged　under　the　Douches。　　The　gates　of　the　prison　were

flung　open；　and　they　marched　forth　in　the　blackness　of　the　storm！



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On　the　third　day；　the　cannonading　was　observed　to　decrease；　only　a

gun　went　off　fitfully　now　and　then。



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On　the　fourth　day；　the　Parisians　said　to　one　another；　〃Tiens！　ils

sont　fatigues；　les　cannoniers　des　forts！〃and　why？　　Because　there

was　no　more　powder？Ay；　truly；　there　WAS　no　more　powder。



There　was　no　more　powder；　no　more　guns；　no　more　gunners；　no　more

forts；　no　more　nothing。　　THE　FORTS　HAD　BLOWN　EACH　OTHER　UP。　　The

battle…roar　ceased。　　The　battle