burlesques-第52节
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wife； that is；the first shall be the incomparable Puttee Rooge；
who loves you to madness；with Puttee Rooge； who is the wife； you
shall have the wealth and rank of Bobbachy Bahawder； of whom his
Highness intends to get rid。 You shall be second in command of his
Highness's forces。 Look； here is his commission signed with the
celestial seal； and attested by the sacred names of the forty…nine
Imaums。 You have but to renounce your religion and your service；
and all these rewards are yours。〃
He produced a parchment； signed as he said； and gave it to me （it
was beautifully written in Indian ink： I had it for fourteen years；
but a rascally valet； seeing it very dirty； WASHED it； forsooth；
and washed off every bit of the writing）。 I took it calmly； and
said； 〃This is a tempting offer。 O Vizier； how long wilt thou give
me to consider of it？〃
After a long parley； he allowed me six hours； when I promised to
give him an answer。 My mind； however； was made upas soon as he
was gone； I threw myself on the sofa and fell asleep。
。 。 。 。 。 。
At the end of the six hours the Vizier came back： two people were
with him； one； by his martial appearance； I knew to be Holkar； the
other I did not recognize。 It was about midnight。
〃Have you considered？〃 said the Vizier as he came to my couch。
〃I have；〃 said I； sitting up；I could not stand； for my legs were
tied； and my arms fixed in a neat pair of steel handcuffs。 〃I
have；〃 said I； 〃unbelieving dogs！ I have。 Do you think to pervert
a Christian gentleman from his faith and honor？ Ruffian
blackamoors！ do your worst； heap tortures on this body； they cannot
last long。 Tear me to pieces： after you have torn me into a
certain number of pieces； I shall not feel it； and if I did； if
each torture could last a life； if each limb were to feel the
agonies of a whole body； what then？ I would bear allallall
allallALL！〃 My breast heavedmy form dilatedmy eye flashed
as I spoke these words。 〃Tyrants！〃 said I； 〃dulce et decorum est
pro patria mori。〃 Having thus clinched the argument； I was silent。
The venerable Grand Vizier turned away； I saw a tear trickling down
his cheeks。
〃What a constancy；〃 said he。 〃Oh； that such beauty and such
bravery should be doomed so soon to quit the earth！〃
His tall companion only sneered and said； 〃AND BELINDA？〃
〃Ha！〃 said I； 〃ruffian； be still！heaven will protect her spotless
innocence。 Holkar； I know thee； and thou knowest ME too！ Who；
with his single sword； destroyed thy armies？ Who； with his pistol；
cleft in twain thy nose…ring？ Who slew thy generals？ Who slew thy
elephants？ Three hundred mighty beasts went forth to battle： of
these I slew one hundred and thirty…five！ Dog； coward； ruffian；
tyrant； unbeliever！ Gahagan hates thee； spurns thee； spits on
thee！〃
Holkar； as I made these uncomplimentary remarks； gave a scream of
rage； and； drawing his scimitar； rushed on to despatch me at once
（it was the very thing I wished for）； when the third person sprang
forward； and seizing his arm； cried
〃Papa！ oh； save him！〃 It was Puttee Rooge！ 〃Remember；〃 continued
she； 〃his misfortunesremember； oh； remember mylove！〃and here
she blushed； and putting one finger into her mouth； and banging
down her head； looked the very picture of modest affection。
Holkar sulkily sheathed his scimitar； and muttered； 〃'Tis better as
it is； had I killed him now； I had spared him the torture。 None of
this shameless fooling； Puttee Rooge；〃 continued the tyrant；
dragging her away。 〃Captain Gahagan dies three hours from hence。〃
Puttee Rooge gave one scream and faintedher father and the Vizier
carried her off between them； nor was I loth to part with her； for；
with all her love； she was as ugly as the deuce。
They were gonemy fate was decided。 I had but three hours more of
life： so I flung myself again on the sofa； and fell profoundly
asleep。 As it may happen to any of my readers to be in the same
situation； and to be hanged themselves； let me earnestly entreat
them to adopt this plan of going to sleep； which I for my part have
repeatedly found to be successful。 It saves unnecessary annoyance；
it passes away a great deal of unpleasant time； and it prepares one
to meet like a man the coming catastrophe。
。 。 。 。 。 。
Three o'clock came： the sun was at this time making his appearance
in the heavens； and with it came the guards； who were appointed to
conduct me to the torture。 I woke； rose； was carried out； and was
set on the very white donkey on which Loll Mahommed was conducted
through the camp after he was bastinadoed。 Bobbachy Bahawder rode
behind me； restored to his rank and state； troops of cavalry hemmed
us in on all sides； my ass was conducted by the common executioner：
a crier went forward； shouting out； 〃Make way for the destroyer of
the faithfulhe goes to bear the punishment of his crimes。〃 We
came to the fatal plain： it was the very spot whence I had borne
away the elephant； and in full sight of the fort。 I looked towards
it。 Thank heaven！ King George's banner waved on it stilla crowd
were gathered on the wallsthe men； the dastards who had deserted
meand women； too。 Among the latter I thought I distinguished ONE
whoO gods！ the thought turned me sickI trembled and looked pale
for the first time。
〃He trembles！ he turns pale；〃 shouted out Bobbachy Bahawder；
ferociously exulting over his conquered enemy。
〃Dog！〃 shouted I（I was sitting with my head to the donkey's tail；
and so looked the Bobbachy full in the face）〃not so pale as you
looked when I felled you with this armnot so pale as your women
looked when I entered your harem！〃 Completely chop…fallen； the
Indian ruffian was silent： at any rate； I had done for HIM。
We arrived at the place of execution。 A stake； a couple of feet
thick and eight high； was driven in the grass： round the stake；
about seven feet from the ground； was an iron ring； to which were
attached two fetters； in these my wrists were placed。 Two or three
executioners stood near； with strange…looking instruments： others
were blowing at a fire； over which was a caldron； and in the embers
were stuck other prongs and instruments of iron。
The crier came forward and read my sentence。 It was the same in
effect as that which had been hinted to me the day previous by the
Grand Vizier。 I confess I was too agitated to catch every word
that was spoken。
Holkar himself； on a tall dromedary； was at a little distance。 The
Grand Vizier came up to meit was his duty to stand by； and see
the punishment performed。 〃It is yet time！〃 said he。
I nodded my head； but did not answer。
The Vizier cast up to heaven a look of inexpressible anguish； and
with a voice choking with emotion； said； 〃EXECUTIONERDOYOUR
DUTY！〃
The horrid man advancedhe whispered sulkily in the ears of the
Grand Vizier； 〃Guggly ka ghee； hum khedgeree；〃 said he； 〃the oil
does not boil yetwait one minute。〃 The assistants blew； the fire
blazed； the oil was heated。 The Vizier drew a few feet aside：
taking a large ladle full of the boiling liquid； he advanced
。 。 。 。 。 。
〃Whish！ bang； bang！ pop！〃 the executioner was dead at my feet； shot
through the head； the ladle of scalding oil had been dashed in the
face of the unhappy Grand Vizier； who lay on the plain； howling。
〃Whish！ bang！ pop！ Hurrah！charge！forwards！cut them down！no
quarter！〃
I sawyes； no； yes； no； yes！I saw regiment upon regiment of
galloping British horsemen riding over the ranks of the flying
natives。 First of the host； I recognized； O heaven！ my AHMEDNUGGAR
IRREGULARS！ On came the gallant line of black steeds and horsemen；
swift； swift before them rode my officers in yellowGlogger；
Pappendick； and Stuffle； their sabres gleamed in the sun； their
voices rung in the air。 〃D… them！〃 they cried； 〃give it them；
boys！〃 A strength supernatural thrilled through my veins at that
delicious music： by one tremendous effort； I wrested the post from
its foundation； five feet in the ground。 I could not release my
hands from the fetters； it is true； but； grasping the beam tightly；
I sprung forwardwith one blow I levelled the five executioners in
the midst of the fire； their fall upsetting the scalding oil…can；
with the next； I swept the bearers of Bobbachy's palanquin off
their legs； with the third； I caught that chief himself in the
small of the back； and sent him flying on to the sabres of my
advancing soldiers！
The next minute； Glogger and Stuffle were in my arms； Pappendick
leading on the Irregulars。 Friend and foe in that wild chase had
swept far away。 We were alone； I was freed from my immense bar；
and ten minutes afterwards； when Lord Lake trotted up with his
staff； he found me sitting on it。
〃Look at Gahaga
