burlesques-第45节

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friend；　what　I　have　seen　is　not　worth　the　trouble　of　relation；　and

fills　my　bosom　with　the　darkest　forebodings。〃



〃You　could　not　then　see　the　Gujputi　alone；　and　stab　him　with　your

dagger？〃



＇Here　was　a　pretty　conspiracy！＇　　〃No；　I　saw　him；　but　not　alone；　his

people　were　always　with　him。〃



〃Hurrumzadeh！　it　is　a　pity；　we　waited　but　the　sound　of　your　jogree

（whistle）；　and　straightway　would　have　galloped　up　and　seized　upon

every　man；　woman；　and　child　in　the　fort：　however；　there　are　but　a

dozen　men　in　the　garrison；　and　they　have　not　provision　for　two

daysthey　must　yield；　and　then　hurrah　for　the　moon…faces！

Mashallah！　　I　am　told　the　soldiers　who　first　get　in　are　to　have

their　pick。　　How　my　old　woman；　Rotee　Muckun；　will　be　surprised　when

I　bring　home　a　couple　of　Feringhee　wives；ha！　ha！〃



〃Fool！〃　said　I；　〃be　still！twelve　men　in　the　garrison！　there　are

twelve　hundred！　　Gahagan　himself　is　as　good　as　a　thousand　men；　and

as　for　food；　I　saw　with　my　own　eyes　five　hundred　bullocks　grazing

in　the　court…yard　as　I　entered。〃　　This　WAS　a　bouncer；　I　confess；

but　my　object　was　to　deceive　Puneeree　Muckun；　and　give　him　as　high

a　notion　as　possible　of　the　capabilities　of　defence　which　the

besieged　had。



〃Pooch；　pooch；〃　murmured　the　men；　〃it　is　a　wonder　of　a　fortress：　we

shall　never　be　able　to　take　it　until　our　guns　come　up。〃



There　was　hope　then！　they　had　no　battering…train。　　Ere　this

arrived；　I　trusted　that　Lord　Lake　would　hear　of　our　plight；　and

march　down　to　rescue　us。　　Thus　occupied　in　thought　and　conversation；

we　rode　on　until　the　advanced　sentinel　challenged　us；　when　old

Puneeree　gave　the　word；　and　we　passed　on　into　the　centre　of　Holkar's

camp。



It　was　a　strangea　stirring　sight！　　The　camp…fires　were　lighted；

and　round　themeating；　reposing；　talking；　looking　at　the　merry

steps　of　the　dancing…girls；　or　listening　to　the　stories　of　some

Dhol　Baut　（or　Indian　improvisatore）　were　thousands　of　dusky

soldiery。　　The　camels　and　horses　were　picketed　under　the　banyan…

trees；　on　which　the　ripe　mango　fruit　was　growing；　and　offered　them

an　excellent　food。　　Towards　the　spot　which　the　golden　fish　and

royal　purdahs；　floating　in　the　wind；　designated　as　the　tent　of

Holkar；　led　an　immense　avenueof　elephants！　the　finest　street；

indeed；　I　ever　saw。　　Each　of　the　monstrous　animals　had　a　castle　on

its　back；　armed　with　Mauritanian　archers　and　the　celebrated　Persian

matchlock…men：　it　was　the　feeding　time　of　these　royal　brutes；　and

the　grooms　were　observed　bringing　immense　toffungs；　or　baskets；

filled　with　pine…apples；　plantains；　bandannas；　Indian　corn；　and

cocoa…nuts；　which　grow　luxuriantly　at　all　seasons　of　the　year。　　We

passed　down　this　extraordinary　avenueno　less　than　three　hundred

and　eighty…eight　tails　did　I　count　on　each　sideeach　tail

appertaining　to　an　elephant　twenty…five　feet　higheach　elephant

having　a　two…storied　castle　on　its　backeach　castle　containing

sleeping　and　eating　rooms　for　the　twelve　men　that　formed　its

garrison；　and　were　keeping　watch　on　the　roofeach　roof　bearing　a

flag…staff　twenty　feet　long　on　its　top；　the　crescent　glittering

with　a　thousand　gems；　and　round　it　the　imperial　standard；each

standard　of　silk　velvet　and　cloth…of…gold；　bearing　the　well…known

device　of　Holkar；　argent　an　or　gules；　between　a　sinople　of　the

first；　a　chevron；　truncated；　wavy。　　I　took　nine　of　these　myself　in

the　course　of　a　very　short　time　after；　and　shall　be　happy；　when　I

come　to　England；　to　show　them　to　any　gentleman　who　has　a　curiosity

that　way。　　Through　this　gorgeous　scene　our　little　cavalcade　passed；

and　at　last　we　arrived　at　the　quarters　occupied　by　Holkar。



That　celebrated　chieftain's　tents　and　followers　were　gathered　round

one　of　the　British　bungalows　which　had　escaped　the　flames；　and

which　he　occupied　during　the　siege。　　When　I　entered　the　large　room

where　he　sat；　I　found　him　in　the　midst　of　a　council　of　war；　his

chief　generals　and　viziers　seated　round　him；　each　smoking　his

hookah；　as　is　the　common　way　with　these　black　fellows；　before；　at；

and　after　breakfast；　dinner；　supper；　and　bedtime。　　There　was　such　a

cloud　raised　by　their　smoke　you　could　hardly　see　a　yard　before　you

another　piece　of　good　luck　for　meas　it　diminished　the　chances　of

my　detection。　　When；　with　the　ordinary　ceremonies；　the　kitmatgars

and　consomahs　had　explained　to　the　prince　that　Bobbachy　Bahawder；

the　right　eye　of　the　Sun　of　the　universe　（as　the　ignorant　heathens

called　me）；　had　arrived　from　his　mission；　Holkar　immediately

summoned　me　to　the　maidaun；　or　elevated　platform；　on　which　he　was

seated　in　a　luxurious　easy…chair；　and　I；　instantly　taking　off　my

slippers；　falling　on　my　knees；　and　beating　my　head　against　the

ground　ninety…nine　times；　proceeded；　still　on　my　knees；　a　hundred

and　twenty　feet　through　the　room；　and　then　up　the　twenty　steps

which　led　to　his　maidauna　silly；　painful；　and　disgusting

ceremony；　which　can　only　be　considered　as　a　relic　of　barbarian

darkness；　which　tears　the　knees　and　shins　to　pieces；　let　alone　the

pantaloons。　　I　recommend　anybody　who　goes　to　India；　with　the

prospect　of　entering　the　service　of　the　native　rajahs；　to　recollect

my　advice　and　have　them　WELL…WADDED。



Well；　the　right　eye　of　the　Sun　of　the　universe　scrambled　as　well　as

he　could　up　the　steps　of　the　maidaun　（on　which　in　rows；　smoking；　as

I　have　said；　the　musnuds　or　general　officers　were　seated）；　and　I

arrived　within　speaking…distance　of　Holkar；　who　instantly　asked　me

the　success　of　my　mission。　　The　impetuous　old　man　thereon　poured

out　a　multitude　of　questions：　〃How　many　men　are　there　in　the　fort？〃

said　he；　〃how　many　women？　　Is　it　victualled？　　Have　they　ammunition？

Did　you　see　Gahagan　Sahib；　the　commander？　did　you　kill　him？〃



All　these　questions　Jeswunt　Row　Holkar　puffed　out　with　so　many

whiffs　of　tobacco。



Taking　a　chillum　myself；　and　raising　about　me　such　a　cloud　that；

upon　my　honor　as　a　gentleman；　no　man　at　three　yards'　distance　could

perceive　anything　of　me　except　the　pillar　of　smoke　in　which　I　was

encompassed；　I　told　Holkar；　in　Oriental　language　of　course；　the

best　tale　I　could　with　regard　to　the　fort。



〃Sir〃　said　I；　〃to　answer　your　last　question　firstthat　dreadful

Gujputi　I　have　seenand　he　is　alive：　he　is　eight　feet；　nearly；　in

height；　he　can　eat　a　bullock　daily　（of　which　he　has　seven　hundred

at　present　in　the　compound；　and　swears　that　during　the　siege　he

will　content　himself　with　only　three　a　week）：　he　has　lost　in　battle

his　left　eye；　and　what　is　the　consequence？　　O　Ram　Gunge〃　（O　thou…

with…the…eye…as…bright…as…morning…and…with…beard…as…black…as…

night）；　〃Goliah　GujputiNEVER　SLEEPS！〃



〃Ah；　you　Ghorumsaug　（you　thief　of　the　world）；〃　said　the　Prince

Vizier；　Saadut　Alee　Beg　Bimbukchee〃it's　joking　you　are；〃and

there　was　a　universal　buzz　through　the　room　at　the　announcement　of

this　bouncer。



〃By　the　hundred　and　eleven　incarnations　of　Vishnu；〃　said　I；

solemnly；　（an　oath　which　no　Indian　was　ever　known　to　break；）　〃I

swear　that　so　it　is：　so　at　least　he　told　me；　and　I　have　good　cause

to　know　his　power。　　Gujputi　is　an　enchanter：　he　is　leagued　with

devils；　he　is　invulnerable。　　Look；〃　said　I；　unsheathing　my　dagger

and　every　eye　turned　instantly　towards　me〃thrice　did　I　stab　him

with　this　steelin　the　back；　oncetwice　right　through　the　heart；

but　he　only　laughed　me　to　scorn；　and　bade　me　tell　Holkar　that　the

steel　was　not　yet　forged　which　was　to　inflict　an　injury　upon　him。〃



I　never　saw　a　man　in　such　a　rage　as　Holkar　was　when　I　gave　him　this

somewhat　imprudent　message。



〃Ah；　lily…livered　rogue！〃　shouted　he　out　to　me；　〃milk…blooded

unbeliever！　pale…faced　miscreant！　lives　he　after　insulting　thy

master　in　thy　presence！　　In　the　name　of　the　prophet；　I　spit　on

thee；　defy　thee；　abhor　thee；　degrade　thee！　　Take　that；　thou　liar　of

the　universe！　and　thatand　thatand　that！〃



Such　are　the　frightful　excesses　of　barbaric　minds！　every　time　this

old　man　said；　〃Take　that；〃　he　flung　some　article　near　him　at　the

head　of　the　undaunted　Gahaganhis　dagger；　his　sword；　his　carbine；

his　richly　ornamented　pistols；　his　turban　covered　with　jewels；

worth　a　hundred　thousand　crores　of　rupeesfinally；　his　hookah；

snake　mouthpiece；　silver…bell；　chillum　and　allwhich　went　hissing

over　my　head；　and　flattening　into　a　jelly　the　nose　of　the　Grand

Vizier。



〃Yock　muzzee！　my　nose　is　off；〃　said　the　old　man；　mildly。　　Will　you

have　my　life；　O　Holkar？　it　is　thine　likewise！〃　and　no　other　word　of

complaint　escaped　his　lips。



Of　all　these　missiles；　though　a　pistol　and　carbine　had　gone　off　as

the　ferocious　Indian　flung　them　at　my　head；　and　the　naked　scimitar

fiercely　but　unadroitly　thrown；　had　lopped　off　the　limbs　of　one　or

two　of　the　musnuds　as　they　sat　trembling　on　their　omrahs；　yet；

strange　to　say；　not　a　single　weapon　had　hurt　me。　　When　the　hubbub

ceased；　and　the　unlucky　wretches　who　had　been　the　victims　of　this

fit　of　rage　had　been　removed；　Holkar's　good　humor　somewhat

returned；　and　he　allowed　me　to　continue　my　accou