burlesques-第33节
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the streets。 Claw WENT BY WATER。
〃'Buy me one thousand Hafricans for the 30th；' cries Fred； busting
into his broker's； and they were done for him at 4 7/8。
。 。 。 。 。 。
〃Can't you guess the rest？ Haven't you seen the Share List？ which
says：
〃'Great Africans； paid 9d。； price 1/4 par。'
〃And that's what came of my pore dear friend Timmins's time…barging。
〃What'll become of him I can't say； for nobody has seen him since。
His lodgins in Jerming Street is to let。 His brokers in vain
deplores his absence。 His Uncle has declared his marriage with his
housekeeper； and the Morning Erald （that emusing print） has a
paragraf yesterday in the fashnabble news； headed 'Marriage in High
Life。The rich and beautiful Miss Mulligatawney； of Portland
Place； is to be speedily united to Colonel Claw； K。X。R。'
〃JEAMES。〃
JEAMES ON THE GAUGE QUESTION。
〃You will scarcely praps reckonize in this little skitch* the
haltered linimints of 1； with woos face the reders of your valluble
mislny were once fimiliar；the unfortnt Jeames de la Pluche； fomly
so selabrated in the fashnabble suckles； now the pore Jeames Plush；
landlord of the 'Wheel of Fortune' public house。 Yes； that is me；
that is my haypun which I wear as becomes a publicanthose is the
checkers which hornyment the pillows of my dor。 I am like the
Romin Genral； St。 Cenatus； equal to any emudgency of Fortun。 I；
who have drunk Shampang in my time； aint now abov droring a pint of
Small Bier。 As for my wifethat AngelI've not ventured to
depigt HER。 Fansy her a sittn in the Bar； smiling like a sunflower
and； ho； dear Punch！ happy in nussing a deer little darlint
totsywotsy of a Jeames； with my air to a curl； and my i's to a T！
* This refers to an illustrated edition of the work。
〃I never thought I should have been injuiced to write anything but
a Bill agin； much less to edress you on Railway Subjixwhich with
all my sole I ABAW。 Railway letters； obbligations to pay hup；
ginteal inquirys as to my Salissator's name； &c。 &c。； I dispize and
scorn artily。 But as a man； an usbnd； a father； and a freebon
Brittn； my jewty compels me to come forwoods； and igspress my
opinion upon that NASHNAL NEWSANCEthe break of Gage。
〃An interesting ewent in a noble family with which I once very
nearly had the honor of being kinected； acurd a few weex sins； when
the Lady Angelina S； daughter of the Earl of Bcres；
presented the gallant Capting； her usband； with a Son & hair。
Nothink would satasfy her Ladyship but that her old and attacht
famdyshamber； my wife Mary Hann Plush； should be presnt upon this
hospicious occasion。 Captain S was not jellus of me on account
of my former attachment to his Lady。 I cunsented that my Mary Hann
should attend her； and me； my wife； and our dear babby acawdingly
set out for our noable frend's residence； Honeymoon Lodge； near
Cheltenham。
〃Sick of all Railroads myself； I wisht to poast it in a Chay and 4；
but Mary Hann； with the hobstenacy of her Sex； was bent upon
Railroad travelling； and I yealded； like all husbinds。 We set out
by the Great Westn； in an eavle Hour。
〃We didnt take much luggitchmy wife's things in the ushal
bandboxesmine in a potmancho。 Our dear little James Angelo's
（called so in complament to his noble Godmamma） craddle； and a
small supply of a few 100 weight of Topsanbawtems； Farinashious
food； and Lady's fingers； for that dear child； who is now 6 months
old； with a PERDIDGUS APPATITE。 Likewise we were charged with
a bran new Medsan chest for my lady； from Skivary & Morris；
containing enough Rewbub； Daffy's Alixir； Godfrey's cawdle； with
a few score of parsles for Lady Hangelina's family and owsehold：
about 2000 spessymins of Babby linning from Mrs。 Flummary's in
Regent Street； a Chayny Cresning bowl from old Lady Bareacres （big
enough to immus a Halderman）； & a case marked 'Glass；' from her
ladyship's meddicle man； which were stowed away together； had to
this an ormylew Cradle； with rose…colored Satting & Pink lace
hangings； held up by a gold tuttle…dove； &c。 We had； ingluding
James Hangelo's rattle & my umbrellow； 73 packidges in all。
〃We got on very well as far as Swindon； where； in the Splendid
Refreshment room； there was a galaxy of lovely gals in cottn velvet
spencers； who serves out the soop； and 1 of whom maid an impresshn
upon this Art which I shoodn't like Mary Hann to knowand here； to
our infanit disgust； we changed carridges。 I forgot to say that we
were in the seeknd class； having with us James Hangelo； and 23
other light harticles。
〃Fust inconveniance： and almost as bad as break of gage。 I cast my
hi upon the gal in cottn velvet； and wanted some soop； of coarse；
but seasing up James Hangelo （who was layin his dear little pors on
an Am Sangwidg） and seeing my igspresshn of hi'James；' says Mary
Hann； 'instead of looking at that young ladyand not so VERY young
neitherbe pleased to look to our packidges； & place them in the
other carridge。' I did so with an evy Art。 I eranged them 23
articles in the opsit carridg； only missing my umberella & baby's
rattle； and jest as I came back for my baysn of soop； the beast of
a bell rings； the whizzling injians proclayms the time of our
departure；& farewell soop and cottn velvet。 Mary Hann was sulky。
She said it was my losing the umberella。 If it had been a COTTON
VELVET UMBERELLA I could have understood。 James Hangelo sittn on
my knee was evidently unwell； without his coral： & for 20 miles
that blessid babby kep up a rawring； which caused all the
passingers to simpithize with him igseedingly。
〃We arrive at Gloster； and there fansy my disgust at bein ableeged
to undergo another change of carridges！ Fansy me holding up
moughs； tippits； cloaks； and baskits； and James Hangelo rawring
still like mad； and pretending to shuperintend the carrying over of
our luggage from the broad gage to the narrow gage。 'Mary Hann；'
says I； rot to desperation； 'I shall throttle this darling if he
goes on。' 'Do；' says she'and GO INTO THE REFRESHMENT room；' says
shea snatchin the babby out of my arms。 Do go；' says she； youre
not fit to look after luggage；' and she began lulling James Hangelo
to sleep with one hi； while she looked after the packets with the
other。 Now； Sir！ if you please； mind that packet！pretty darling
easy with that box； Sir； its glasspooooty poppetwhere's the
deal case； marked arrowroot； No。 24？' she cried； reading out of a
list she had。And poor little James went to sleep。 The porters
were bundling and carting the various harticles with no more
ceremony than if each package had been of cannonball。
〃At lastbang goes a package marked 'Glass；' and containing the
Chayny bowl and Lady Bareacres' mixture； into a large white
bandbox； with a crash and a smash。 'It's My Lady's box from
Crinoline's！' cries Mary Hann； and she puts down the child on the
bench； and rushes forward to inspect the dammidge。 You could hear
the Chayny bowls clinking inside； and Lady B。's mixture （which had
the igsack smell of cherry brandy） was dribbling out over the
smashed bandbox containing a white child's cloak； trimmed with
Blown lace and lined with white satting。
〃As James was asleep； and I was by this time uncommon hungry； I
thought I WOULD go into the Refreshment Room and just take a little
soup； so I wrapped him up in his cloak and laid him by his mamma；
and went off。 There's not near such good attendance as at Swindon。
。 。 。 。 。 。
〃We took our places in the carriage in the dark； both of us covered
with a pile of packages； and Mary Hann so sulky that she would not
speak for some minutes。 At last she spoke out
〃'Have you all the small parcels？'
〃'Twenty…three in all；' says I。
〃'Then give me baby。'
〃'Give you what？' says I。
〃'Give me baby。'
〃'What； haven't y…y…yoooo got him？' says I。
。 。 。 。 。 。
〃O Mussy！ You should have heard her sreak！ WE'D LEFT HIM ON THE
LEDGE AT GLOSTER。
〃It all came of the break of gage。〃
MR。 JEAMES AGAIN。
〃DEAR MR。 PUNCH；As newmarus inquiries have been maid both at my
privit ressddence； 'The Wheel of Fortune Otel；' and at your Hoffis；
regarding the fate of that dear babby； James Hangelo； whose
primmiture dissappearnts caused such hagnies to his distracted
parents； I must begg； dear sir； the permission to ockupy a part of
your valuble collams once more； and hease the public mind about my
blessid boy。
〃Wictims of that nashnal cuss； the Broken Gage； me and Mrs。 Plush
was left in the train to Cheltenham； soughring from that most
disgreeble of complaints； a halmost BROKEN ART。 The skreems of
Mrs。 Jeames might be said almost to out…Y the squeel of the dying；
as we rusht into that fashnable Spaw； and
