burlesques-第30节

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are　beautiful；　and　will　become　Mrs。　Plush　admirably。'





〃This　was　hall！Confewshn！　　And　there　stood　the　footmen　sniggerin；

and　that　hojus　Mary　Hann　half　a　cryin；　half　a　laffing　at　me！　　'Who

has　she　gone　hoff　with？'　rors　I；　and　Mary　Hann　（smiling　with　one

hi）　just　touched　the　top　of　one　of　the　Johns'　canes　who　was　goin

out　with　the　noats　to　put　hoff　the　brekfst。　　It　was　Silvertop　then！



〃I　bust　out　of　the　house　in　a　stayt　of　diamoniacal　igsitement！



〃The　stoary　of　that　ilorpmint　I　have　no　art　to　tell。　　Here　it　is

from　the　Morning　Tatler　newspaper：





〃ELOPEMENT　IN　HIGH　LIFE。



〃THE　ONLY　AUTHENTIC　ACCOUNT。



〃The　neighborhood　of　Berkeley　Square；　and　the　whole　fashionable

world；　has　been　thrown　into　a　state　of　the　most　painful　excitement

by　an　event　which　has　just　placed　a　noble　family　in　great

perplexity　and　affliction。



〃It　has　long　been　known　among　the　select　nobility　and　gentry　that　a

marriage　was　on　the　tapis　between　the　only　daughter　of　a　Noble

Earl；　and　a　Gentleman　whose　rapid　fortunes　in　the　railway　world

have　been　the　theme　of　general　remark。　　Yesterday's　paper；　it　was

supposed；　in　all　human　probability　would　have　contained　an　account

of　the　marriage　of　James　De　la　Pl…che；　Esq。；　and　the　Lady　Angelina

；　daughter　of　the　Right　honorable　the　Earl　of　B…re…cres。　　The

preparations　for　this　ceremony　were　complete：　we　had　the　pleasure

of　inspecting　the　rich　trousseau　（prepared　by　Miss　Twiddler；　of

Pall　Mall）；　the　magnificent　jewels　from　the　establishment　of

Messrs。　Storr　and　Mortimer；　the　elegant　marriage　cake；　which；

already　cut　up　and　portioned；　is；　alas！　not　destined　to　be　eaten　by

the　friends　of　Mr。　De　la　Pl…che；　the　superb　carriages；　and

magnificent　liveries；　which　had　been　provided　in　a　style　of　the

most　lavish　yet　tasteful　sumptuosity。　　The　Right　Reverend　the　Lord

Bishop　of　Bullocksmithy　had　arrived　in　town　to　celebrate　the

nuptials；　and　is　staying　at　Mivart's。　　What　must　have　been　the

feelings　of　that　venerable　prelate；　what　those　of　the　agonized　and

noble　parents　of　the　Lady　Angelinawhen　it　was　discovered；　on　the

day　previous　to　the　wedding；　that　her　Ladyship　had　fled　the

paternal　mansion！　　To　the　venerable　Bishop　the　news　of　his　noble

niece's　departure　might　have　been　fatal：　we　have　it　from　the

waiters　of　Mivart's　that　his　Lordship　was　about　to　indulge　in　the

refreshment　of　turtle　soup　when　the　news　was　brought　to　him；

immediate　apoplexy　was　apprehended；　but　Mr。　Macann；　the　celebrated

surgeon　of　Westminster；　was　luckily　passing　through　Bond　Street　at

the　time；　and　being　promptly　called　in；　bled　and　relieved　the

exemplary　patient。　　His　Lordship　will　return　to　the　Palace；

Bullocksmithy；　tomorrow。



〃The　frantic　agonies　of　the　Right　Honorable　the　Earl　of　Bareacres

can　be　imagined　by　every　paternal　heart。　　Far　be　it　from　us　to

disturbimpossible　is　it　for　us　to　describe　their　noble　sorrow。

Our　reporters　have　made　inquiries　every　ten　minutes　at　the　Earl's

mansion　in　Hill　Street；　regarding　the　health　of　the　Noble　Peer　and

his　incomparable　Countess。　　They　have　been　received　with　a　rudeness

which　we　deplore　but　pardon。　　One　was　threatened　with　a　cane；

another；　in　the　pursuit　of　his　official　inquiries；　was　saluted　with

a　pail　of　water；　a　third　gentleman　was　menaced　in　a　pugilistic

manner　by　his　Lordship's　porter；　but　being　of　an　Irish　nation；　a

man　of　spirit　and　sinew；　and　Master　of　Arts　of　Trinity　College；

Dublin；　the　gentleman　of　our　establishment　confronted　the　menial；

and　having　severely　beaten　him；　retired　to　a　neighboring　hotel　much

frequented　by　the　domestics　of　the　surrounding　nobility；　and　there

obtained　what　we　believe　to　be　the　most　accurate　particulars　of

this　extraordinary　occurrence。



〃George　Frederick　Jennings；　third　footman　in　the　establishment　of

Lord　Bareacres；　stated　to　our　employe　as　follows：Lady　Angelina

had　been　promised　to　Mr。　De　la　Pluche　for　near　six　weeks。　　She

never　could　abide　that　gentleman。　　He　was　the　laughter　of　all　the

servants'　hall。　　Previous　to　his　elevation　he　had　himself　been

engaged　in　a　domestic　capacity。　　At　that　period　he　had　offered

marriage　to　Mary　Ann　Hoggins；　who　was　living　in　the　quality　of

ladies'…maid　in　the　family　where　Mr。　De　la　P。　was　employed。　　Miss

Hoggins　became　subsequently　lady's…maid　to　Lady　Angelinathe

elopement　was　arranged　between　those　two。　　It　was　Miss　Hoggins　who

delivered　the　note　which　informed　the　bereaved　Mr。　Plush　of　his

loss。



〃Samuel　Buttons；　page　to　the　Right　honorable　the　Earl　of　Bareacres；

was　ordered　on　Friday　afternoon　at　eleven　o'clock　to　fetch　a

cabriolet　from　the　stand　in　Davies　Street。　　He　selected　the　cab　No。

19；796；　driven　by　George　Gregory　Macarty；　a　one…eyed　man　from

Clonakilty；　in　the　neighborhood　of　Cork；　Ireland　（of　whom　more

anon）；　and　waited；　according　to　his　instructions；　at　the　corner　of

Berkeley　Square　with　his　vehicle。　　His　young　lady；　accompanied　by

her　maid；　Miss　Mary　Ann　Hoggins；　carrying　a　band…box；　presently

arrived；　and　entered　the　cab　with　the　box：　what　were　the　contents

of　that　box　we　have　never　been　able　to　ascertain。　　On　asking　her

Ladyship　whether　he　should　order　the　cab　to　drive　in　any　particular

direction；　he　was　told　to　drive　to　Madame　Crinoline's；　the　eminent

milliner　in　Cavendish　Square。　　On　requesting　to　know　whether　he

should　accompany　her　Ladyship；　Buttons　was　peremptorily　ordered　by

Miss　Hoggins　to　go　about　his　business。



〃Having　now　his　clue；　our　reporter　instantly　went　in　search　of　cab

19；796；　or　rather　the　driver　of　that　vehicle；　who　was　discovered

with　no　small　difficulty　at　his　residence；　Whetstone　Park；

Lincoln's　Inn　Fields；　where　he　lives　with　his　family　of　nine

children。　　Having　received　two　sovereigns；　instead　doubtless　of　two

shillings　（his　regular　fare；　by　the　way；　would　have　been　only　one…

and…eightpence）；　Macarty　had　not　gone　out　with　the　cab　for　the　two

last　days；　passing　them　in　a　state　of　almost　ceaseless　intoxication。

His　replies　were　very　incoherent　in　answer　to　the　queries　of　our

reporter；　and；　had　not　that　gentleman　himself　been　a　compatriot；　it

is　probable　he　would　have　refused　altogether　to　satisfy　the　curiosity

of　the　public。



〃At　Madame　Crinoline's；　Miss　Hoggins　quitted　the　carriage；　and　A

GENTLEMAN　entered　it。　　Macarty　describes　him　as　a　very　CLEVER

gentleman　（meaning　tall）　with　black　moustaches；　Oxford…gray

trousers；　and　black　hat　and　a　pea…coat。　　He　drove　the　couple　TO　THE

EUSTON　SQUARE　STATION；　and　there　left　them。　　How　he　employed　his

time　subsequently　we　have　stated。



〃At　the　Euston　Square　Station；　the　gentleman　of　our　establishment

learned　from　Frederick　Corduroy；　a　porter　there；　that　a　gentleman

answering　the　above　description　had　taken　places　to　Derby。　　We　have

despatched　a　confidential　gentleman　thither；　by　a　special　train；

and　shall　give　his　report　in　a　second　edition。





〃SECOND　EDITION。



〃（From　our　Reporter。）



〃NEWCASTLE；　Monday。



〃I　am　just　arrived　at　this　ancient　town；　at　the　'Elephant　and

Cucumber　Hotel。'　　A　party　travelling　under　the　name　of　MR。　AND　MRS。

JONES；　the　gentleman　wearing　moustaches；　and　having　with　them　a

blue　band…box；　arrived　by　the　train　two　hours　before　me；　and　have

posted　onwards　to　SCOTLAND。　　I　have　ordered　four　horses；　and　write

this　on　the　hind　boot；　as　they　are　putting　to。





〃THIRD　EDITION。



〃GRETNA　GREEN；　Monday　Evening。



〃The　mystery　is　at　length　solved。　　This　afternoon；　at　four　o'clock；

the　Hymeneal　Blacksmith；　of　Gretna　Green；　celebrated　the　marriage

between　George　Granby　Silvertop；　Esq。；　a　Lieutenant　in　the　150th

Hussars；　third　son　of　General　John　Silvertop；　of　Silvertop　Hall；

Yorkshire；　and　Lady　Emily　Silvertop；　daughter　of　the　late　sister　of

the　present　Earl　of　Bareacres；　and　the　Lady　Angelina　Amelia

Arethusa　Anaconda　Alexandrina　Alicompania　Annemaria　Antoinetta；

daughter　of　the　last…named　Earl　Bareacres。





（Here　follows　a　long　extract　from　the　Marriage　Service　in　the　Book

of　Common　Prayer；　which　was　not　read　on　the　occasion；　and　need　not

be　repeated　here。）





〃After　the　ceremony；　the　young　couple　partook　of　a　slight

refreshment　of　sherry　and　waterthe　former　the　Captain　pronounced

to　be　execrable；　and；　having　myself　tasted　some　glasses　from　the

VERY　SAME　BOTTLE　with　which　the　young　and　noble　pair　were　served；　I

must　say　I　think　the　Captain　was　rather　hard　upon　mine　host　of　the

'Bagpipes　Hotel　and　Posting…House；'　whence　they　instantly　proceeded。

I　follow　them　as　soon　as　the　horses　have　fed。





〃FOURTH　EDITION。



〃SHAMEFUL　TREATMENT　OF　OUR　REPORTER。



〃WHISTLEBINKIE；　N。　B。　　Monday；　Midnight。



〃I　arrived　at　this　romantic　little　villa　about　two　hours　after　the

newly　married　couple；　whose　progress　I　have　the　honor　to　trace；

reached　Whistlebinkie。　　They　have　taken　up　their　residence　at　the

'Cairngorm　Arms'mine　is　at　the　other　hostelry；　the　'Clachan　of

Whistlebinkie。'



〃On　driving　up　to　the　'Cairngorm　Arms；'　I　found　a　gentleman　of

military　ap