adam bede(亚当[1].比德)-第97节
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He did not look directly at Adam； but glanced carelessly round at
the trees and then lifted up one foot to look at the sole of his boot。
He cared to say no more—he had thrown quite dust enough into
honest Adam’s eyes—and as he spoke the last words； he walked
on。
“Stop a bit； sir；” said Adam； in a hard peremptory voice；
without turning round。 “I’ve got a word to say to you。”
Arthur paused in surprise。 Susceptible persons are more
affected by a change of tone than by unexpected words； and
Arthur had the susceptibility of a nature at once affectionate and
vain。 He was still more surprised when he saw that Adam had not
moved； but stood with his back to him； as if summoning him to
return。 What did he mean？ He was going to make a serious
business of this affair。 Arthur felt his temper rising。 A patronising
disposition always has its meaner side； and in the confusion of his
irritation and alarm there entered the feeling that a man to whom
he had shown so much favour as to Adam was not in a position to
criticise his conduct。 And yet he was dominated； as one who feels
himself in the wrong always is； by the man whose good opinion he
cares for。 In spite of pride and temper； there was as much
deprecation as anger in his voice when he said； “What do you
mean； Adam？”
“I mean； sir”—answered Adam； in the same harsh voice； still
without turning round—“I mean； sir； that you don’t deceive me by
your light words。 This is not the first time you’ve met Hetty Sorrel
in this grove； and this is not the first time you’ve kissed her。”
Arthur felt a startled uncertainty how far Adam was speaking
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from knowledge； and how far from mere inference。 And this
uncertainty； which prevented him from contriving a prudent
answer； heightened his irritation。 He said； in a high sharp tone；
“Well； sir； what then？”
“Why； then； instead of acting like th’ upright； honourable man
we’ve all believed you to be； you’ve been acting the part of a selfish
light…minded scoundrel。 You know as well as I do what it’s to lead
to when a gentleman like you kisses and makes love to a young
woman like Hetty； and gives her presents as she’s frightened for
other folks to see。 And I say it again； you’re acting the part of a
selfish light…minded scoundrel though it cuts me to th’ heart to say
so； and I’d rather ha’ lost my right hand。”
“Let me tell you； Adam；” said Arthur； bridling his growing
anger and trying to recur to his careless tone； “you’re not only
devilishly impertinent； but you’re talking nonsense。 Every pretty
girl is not such a fool as you； to suppose that when a gentleman
admires her beauty and pays her a little attention； he must mean
something particular。 Every man likes to flirt with a pretty girl；
and every pretty girl likes to be flirted with。 The wider the
distance between them； the less harm there is； for then she’s not
likely to deceive herself。”
“I don’t know what you mean by flirting；” said Adam； “but if
you mean behaving to a woman as if you loved her； and yet not
loving her all the while； I say that’s not th’ action of an honest
man； and what isn’t honest does come t’ harm。 I’m not a fool； and
you’re not a fool； and you know better than what you’re saying。
You know it couldn’t be made public as you’ve behaved to Hetty as
y’ have done without her losing her character and bringing shame
and trouble on her and her relations。 What if you meant nothing
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by your kissing and your presents？ Other folks won’t believe as
you’ve meant nothing； and don’t tell me about her not deceiving
herself。 I tell you as you’ve filled her mind so with the thought of
you as it’ll mayhap poison her life； and she’ll never love another
man as ’ud make her a good husband。”
Arthur had felt a sudden relief while Adam was speaking； he
perceived that Adam had no positive knowledge of the past； and
that there was no irrevocable damage done by this evening’s
unfortunate rencontre。 Adam could still be deceived。 The candid
Arthur had brought himself into a position in which successful
lying was his only hope。 The hope allayed his anger a little。
“Well； Adam；” he said； in a tone of friendly concession； “you’re
perhaps right。 Perhaps I’ve gone a little too far in taking notice of
the pretty little thing and stealing a kiss now and then。 You’re
such a grave； steady fellow； you don’t understand the temptation
to such trifling。 I’m sure I wouldn’t bring any trouble or
annoyance on her and the good Poysers on any account if I could
help it。 But I think you look a little too seriously at it。 You know
I’m going away immediately； so I shan’t make any more mistakes
of the kind。 But let us say good…night”—Arthur here turned round
to walk on—“and talk no more about the matter。 The whole thing
will soon be forgotten。”
“No； by God！” Adam burst out with rage that could be
controlled no longer； throwing down the basket of tools and
striding forward till he was right in front of Arthur。 All his jealousy
and sense of personal injury； which he had been hitherto trying to
keep under； had leaped up and mastered him。 What man of us； in
the first moments of a sharp agony； could ever feel that the fellow…
man who has been the medium of inflicting it did not mean to hurt
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us？ In our instinctive rebellion against pain； we are children again；
and demand an active will to wreak our vengeance on。 Adam at
this moment could only feel that he had been robbed of Hetty—
robbed treacherously by the man in whom he had trusted—and he
stood close in front of Arthur； with fierce eyes glaring at him； with
pale lips and clenched hands； the hard tones in which he had
hitherto been constraining himself to express no more than a just
indignation giving way to a deep agitated voice that seemed to
shake him as he spoke。
“No； it’ll not be soon forgot； as you’ve come in between her and
me； when she might ha’ loved me—it’ll not soon be forgot as
you’ve robbed me o’ my happiness； while I thought you was my
best friend； and a noble…minded man； as I was proud to work for。
And you’ve been kissing her； and meaning nothing； have you？
And I never kissed her i’ my life—but I’d ha’ worked hard for
years for the right to kiss her。 And you make light of it。 You think
little o’ doing what may damage other folks； so as you get your bit
o’ trifling； as means nothing。 I throw back your favours； for you’re
not the man I took you for。 I’ll never count you my friend any
more。 I’d rather you’d act as my enemy； and fight me where I
stand—it’s all th’ amends you can make me。”
Poor Adam； possessed by rage that could find no other vent；
began to throw off his coat and his cap； too blind with passion to
notice the change that had taken place in Arthur while he was
speaking。 Arthur’s lips were now as pale as Adam’s； his heart was
beating violently。 The discovery that Adam loved Hetty was a
shock which made him for the moment see himself in the light of
Adam’s indignation； and regard Adam’s suffering as not merely a
consequence； but an element of his error。 The wo
