adam bede(亚当[1].比德)-第68节
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This unreasonable behaviour of the weather； however； could
displease no one else in Hayslope besides Mr。 Craig。 All hands
were to be out in the meadows this morning as soon as the dew
had risen； the wives and daughters did double work in every
farmhouse； that the maids might give their help in tossing the hay；
and when Adam was marching along the lanes； with his basket of
tools over his shoulder； he caught the sound of jocose talk and
ringing laughter from behind the hedges。 The jocose talk of hay…
makers is best at a distance； like those clumsy bells round the
cows’ necks； it has rather a coarse sound when it comes close； and
may even grate on your ears painfully； but heard from far off； it
mingles very prettily with the other joyous sounds of nature。
Men’s muscles move better when their souls are making merry
music； though their merriment is of a poor blundering sort； not at
all like the merriment of birds。
And perhaps there is no time in a summer’s day more cheering
than when the warmth of the sun is just beginning to triumph over
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the freshness of the morning—when there is just a lingering hint
of early coolness to keep off languor under the delicious influence
of warmth。 The reason Adam was walking along the lanes at this
time was because his work for the rest of the day lay at a country…
house about three miles off； which was being put in repair for the
son of a neighbouring squire； and he had been busy since early
morning with the packing of panels； doors； and chimney…pieces； in
a waggon which was now gone on before him； while Jonathan
Burge himself had ridden to the spot on horseback； to await its
arrival and direct the workmen。
This little walk was a rest to Adam； and he was unconsciously
under the charm of the moment。 It was summer morning in his
heart； and he saw Hetty in the sunshine—a sunshine without
glare； with slanting rays that tremble between the delicate
shadows of the leaves。 He thought； yesterday when he put out his
hand to her as they came out of church； that there was a touch of
melancholy kindness in her face； such as he had not seen before；
and he took it as a sign that she had some sympathy with his
family trouble。 Poor fellow！ That touch of melancholy came from
quite another source； but how was he to know？ We look at the one
little woman’s face we love as we look at the face of our mother
earth； and see all sorts of answers to our own yearnings。 It was
impossible for Adam not to feel that what had happened in the last
week had brought the prospect of marriage nearer to him。
Hitherto he had felt keenly the danger that some other man might
step in and get possession of Hetty’s heart and hand； while he
himself was still in a position that made him shrink from asking
her to accept him。 Even if he had had a strong hope that she was
fond of him—and his hope was far from being strong—he had
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been too heavily burdened with other claims to provide a home for
himself and Hetty—a home such as he could expect her to be
content with after the comfort and plenty of the Farm。 Like all
strong natures； Adam had confidence in his ability to achieve
something in the future； he felt sure he should some day； if he
lived； be able to maintain a family and make a good broad path for
himself； but he had too cool a head not to estimate to the full the
obstacles that were to be overcome。 And the time would be so
long！ And there was Hetty； like a bright…cheeked apple hanging
over the orchard wall； within sight of everybody； and everybody
must long for her！ To be sure； if she loved him very much； she
would be content to wait for him： but did she love him？ His hopes
had never risen so high that he had dared to ask her。 He was clear…
sighted enough to be aware that her uncle and aunt would have
looked kindly on his suit； and indeed； without this encouragement
he would never have persevered in going to the Farm； but it was
impossible to come to any but fluctuating conclusions about
Hetty’s feelings。 She was like a kitten； and had the same
distractingly pretty looks； that meant nothing； for everybody that
came near her。
But now he could not help saying to himself that the heaviest
part of his burden was removed； and that even before the end of
another year his circumstances might be brought into a shape that
would allow him to think of marrying。 It would always be a hard
struggle with his mother； he knew： she would be jealous of any
wife he might choose； and she had set her mind especially against
Hetty—perhaps for no other reason than that she suspected Hetty
to be the woman he had chosen。 It would never do； he feared； for
his mother to live in the same house with him when he was
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married； and yet how hard she would think it if he asked her to
leave him！ Yes； there was a great deal of pain to be gone through
with his mother； but it was a case in which he must make her feel
that his will was strong—it would be better for her in the end。 For
himself； he would have liked that they should all live together till
Seth was married； and they might have built a bit themselves to
the old house； and made more room。 He did not like “to part wi’
th’ lad”： they had hardly every been separated for more than a day
since they were born。
But Adam had no sooner caught his imagination leaping
forward in this way—making arrangements for an uncertain
future—than he checked himself。 “A pretty building I’m making；
without either bricks or timber。 I’m up i’ the garret a’ready； and
haven’t so much as dug the foundation。” Whenever Adam was
strongly convinced of any proposition； it took the form of a
principle in his mind： it was knowledge to be acted on； as much as
the knowledge that damp will cause rust。 Perhaps here lay the
secret of the hardness he had accused himself of： he had too little
fellow…feeling with the weakness that errs in spite of foreseen
consequences。 Without this fellow…feeling； how are we to get
enough patience and charity towards our stumbling； falling
companions in the long and changeful journey？ And there is but
one way in which a strong determined soul can learn it—by
getting his heart…strings bound round the weak and erring； so that
he must share not only the outward consequence of their error；
but their inward suffering。 That is a long and hard lesson； and
Adam had at present only learned the alphabet of it in his father’s
sudden death； which； by annihilating in an instant all that had
stimulated his indignation； had sent a sudden rush of thought and
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memory over what had claimed his pity and tenderness。
But it was Adam’s strength； not its correlative hardness； that
influenced his meditations this morning。 He had long made up his
mind that it would be wrong as well as foolish for him to marry a
blooming young girl； so long as he had no other prospect than that
of growing poverty with a growi
