adam bede(亚当[1].比德)-第35节
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some minutes； she suddenly paused and said aloud to herself； “I’ll
go an’ see arter Adam； for I canna think where he’s gotten； an’ I
want him to go upstairs wi’ me afore it’s dark； for the minutes to
look at the corpse is like the meltin’ snow。”
Seth overheard this； and coming into the kitchen again； as his
mother rose from her chair； he said； “Adam’s asleep in the
workshop； mother。 Thee’dst better not wake him。 He was
o’erwrought with work and trouble。”
“Wake him？ Who’s a…goin’ to wake him？ I shanna wake him wi’
lookin’ at him。 I hanna seen the lad this two hour—I’d welly forgot
as he’d e’er growed up from a babby when’s feyther carried him。”
Adam was seated on a rough bench； his head supported by his
arm； which rested from the shoulder to the elbow on the long
planing…table in the middle of the workshop。 It seemed as if he had
sat down for a few minutes’ rest and had fallen asleep without
slipping from his first attitude of sad； fatigued thought。 His face；
unwashed since yesterday； looked pallid and clammy； his hair was
tossed shaggily about his forehead； and his closed eyes had the
sunken look which follows upon watching and sorrow。 His brow
was knit； and his whole face had an expression of weariness and
pain。 Gyp was evidently uneasy； for he sat on his haunches； resting
his nose on his master’s stretched…out leg； and dividing the time
between licking the hand that hung listlessly down and glancing
with a listening air towards the door。 The poor dog was hungry
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and restless； but would not leave his master； and was waiting
impatiently for some change in the scene。 It was owing to this
feeling on Gyp’s part that； when Lisbeth came into the workshop
and advanced towards Adam as noiselessly as she could； her
intention not to awaken him was immediately defeated； for Gyp’s
excitement was too great to find vent in anything short of a sharp
bark； and in a moment Adam opened his eyes and saw his mother
standing before him。 It was not very unlike his dream； for his sleep
had been little more than living through again； in a fevered
delirious way； all that had happened since daybreak； and his
mother with her fretful grief was present to him through it all。 The
chief difference between the reality and the vision was that in his
dream Hetty was continually coming before him in bodily
presence—strangely mingling herself as an actor in scenes with
which she had nothing to do。 She was even by the Willow Brook；
she made his mother angry by coming into the house； and he met
her with her smart clothes quite wet through； as he walked in the
rain to Treddleston； to tell the coroner。 But wherever Hetty came；
his mother was sure to follow soon； and when he opened his eyes；
it was not at all startling to see her standing near him。
“Eh； my lad； my lad！” Lisbeth burst out immediately； her
wailing impulse returning； for grief in its freshness feels the need
of associating its loss and its lament with every change of scene
and incident； “thee ’st got nobody now but thy old mother to
torment thee and be a burden to thee。 Thy poor feyther ’ull ne’er
anger thee no more； an’ thy mother may ’s well go arter him—the
sooner the better—for I’m no good to nobody now。 One old coat
’ull do to patch another； but it’s good for nought else。 Thee ’dst like
t’ ha’ a wife to mend thy clothes an’ get thy victual； better nor thy
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old mother。 An’ I shall be nought but cumber； a…sittin’ i’ th’
chimney…corner。 （Adam winced and moved uneasily； he dreaded；
of all things； to hear his mother speak of Hetty。） But if thy feyther
had lived； he’d ne’er ha’ wanted me to go to make room for
another； for he could no more ha’ done wi’out me nor one side o’
the scithers can do wi’out th’ tother。 Eh； we should ha’ been both
flung away together； an’ then I shouldna ha’ seen this day； an’ one
buryin’ ’ud ha’ done for us both。”
Here Lisbeth paused； but Adam sat in pained silence—he could
not speak otherwise than tenderly to his mother to…day； but he
could not help being irritated by this plaint。 It was not possible for
poor Lisbeth to know how it affected Adam any more than it is
possible for a wounded dog to know how his moans affect the
nerves of his master。 Like all complaining women； she complained
in the expectation of being soothed； and when Adam said nothing；
she was only prompted to complain more bitterly。
“I know thee couldst do better wi’out me； for thee couldst go
where thee likedst an’ marry them as thee likedst。 But I donna
want to say thee nay； let thee bring home who thee wut； I’d ne’er
open my lips to find faut； for when folks is old an’ o’ no use； they
may think theirsens well off to get the bit an’ the sup； though
they’n to swallow ill words wi’t。 An’ if thee ’st set thy heart on a
lass as’ll bring thee nought and waste all； when thee mightst ha’
them as ’ud make a man on thee； I’ll say nought； now thy feyther’s
dead an’ drownded； for I’m no better nor an old haft when the
blade’s gone。”
Adam； unable to bear this any longer； rose silently from the
bench and walked out of the workshop into the kitchen。 But
Lisbeth followed him。
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“Thee wutna go upstairs an’ see thy feyther then？ I’n done
everythin’ now； an’ he’d like thee to go an’ look at him； for he war
allays so pleased when thee wast mild to him。”
Adam turned round at once and said； “Yes； mother； let us go
upstairs。 Come； Seth； let us go together。”
They went upstairs； and for five minutes all was silence。 Then
the key was turned again； and there was a sound of footsteps on
the stairs。 But Adam did not come down again； he was too weary
and worn…out to encounter more of his mother’s querulous grief；
and he went to rest on his bed。 Lisbeth no sooner entered the
kitchen and sat down than she threw her apron over her head； and
began to cry and moan and rock herself as before。 Seth thought；
“She will be quieter by and by； now we have been upstairs”； and
he went into the back kitchen again； to tend his little fire； hoping
that he should presently induce her to have some tea。
Lisbeth had been rocking herself in this way for more than five
minutes； giving a low moan with every forward movement of her
body； when she suddenly felt a hand placed gently on hers； and a
sweet treble voice said to her； “Dear sister； the Lord has sent me
to see if I can be a comfort to you。”
Lisbeth paused； in a listening attitude； without removing her
apron from her face。 The voice was strange to her。 Could it be her
sister’s spirit come back to her from the dead after all those years？
She trembled and dared not look。
Dinah； believing that this pause of wonder was in itself a relief
for the sorrowing woman； said no more just yet； but quietly took
off her bonnet； and then； motioning silence to Seth； who； on
hearing her voice； had come in with a beating heart； laid one hand
on the back of Lisbeth’s chair and leaned over her； that she might
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be aware of a friendly presence。
Slowly Lisbeth drew down her apron； and timidly she opened
her dim dark eyes。
