adam bede(亚当[1].比德)-第128节
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and the old woman； whose memory for names was infirm； could
not recall the name of the “blessed woman” who was Dinah’s chief
friend in the Society at Leeds。
During that long； long journey in the taxed cart； there was time
for all the conjectures of importunate fear and struggling hope。 In
the very first shock of discovering that Hetty had not been to
Snowfield； the thought of Arthur had darted through Adam like a
sharp pang； but he tried for some time to ward off its return by
busying himself with modes of accounting for the alarming fact；
quite apart from that intolerable thought。 Some accident had
happened。 Hetty had； by some strange chance； got into a wrong
vehicle from Oakbourne： she had been taken ill； and did not want
to frighten them by letting them know。 But this frail fence of vague
improbabilities was soon hurled down by a rush of distinct
agonising fears。 Hetty had been deceiving herself in thinking that
she could love and marry him： she had been loving Arthur all the
while； and now； in her desperation at the nearness of their
marriage； she had run away。 And she was gone to him。 The old
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indignation and jealousy rose again； and prompted the suspicion
that Arthur had been dealing falsely—had written to Hetty—had
tempted her to come to him—being unwilling； after all； that she
should belong to another man besides himself。 Perhaps the whole
thing had been contrived by him； and he had given her directions
how to follow him to Ireland—for Adam knew that Arthur had
been gone thither three weeks ago； having recently learnt it at the
Chase。 Every sad look of Hetty’s； since she had been engaged to
Adam； returned upon him now with all the exaggeration of painful
retrospect。 He had been foolishly sanguine and confident。 The
poor thing hadn’t perhaps known her own mind for a long while；
had thought that she could forget Arthur； had been momentarily
drawn towards the man who offered her a protecting； faithful love。
He couldn’t bear to blame her： she never meant to cause him this
dreadful pain。 The blame lay with that man who had selfishly
played with her heart—had perhaps even deliberately lured her
away。
At Oakbourne； the ostler at the Royal Oak remembered such a
young woman as Adam described getting out of the Treddleston
coach more than a fortnight ago—wasn’t likely to forget such a
pretty lass as that in a hurry—was sure she had not gone on by the
Buxton coach that went through Snowfield； but had lost sight of
her while he went away with the horses and had never set eyes on
her again。 Adam then went straight to the house from which the
Stoniton coach started： Stoniton was the most obvious place for
Hetty to go to first； whatever might be her destination； for she
would hardly venture on any but the chief coach…roads。 She had
been noticed here too； and was remembered to have sat on the box
by the coachman； but the coachman could not be seen； for another
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man had been driving on that road in his stead the last three or
four days。 He could probably be seen at Stoniton； through inquiry
at the inn where the coach put up。 So the anxious heart…stricken
Adam must of necessity wait and try to rest till morning—nay； till
eleven o’clock； when the coach started。
At Stoniton another delay occurred； for the old coachman who
had driven Hetty would not be in the town again till night。 When
he did come he remembered Hetty well； and remembered his own
joke addressed to her； quoting it many times to Adam； and
observing with equal frequency that he thought there was
something more than common； because Hetty had not laughed
when he joked her。 But he declared； as the people had done at the
inn； that he had lost sight of Hetty directly she got down。 Part of
the next morning was consumed in inquiries at every house in the
town from which a coach started—（all in vain； for you know Hetty
did not start from Stoniton by coach； but on foot in the grey
morning）—and then in walking out to the first toll…gates on the
different lines of road； in the forlorn hope of finding some
recollection of her there。 No； she was not to be traced any farther；
and the next hard task for Adam was to go home and carry the
wretched tidings to the Hall Farm。 As to what he should do
beyond that； he had come to two distinct resolutions amidst the
tumult of thought and feeling which was going on within him
while he went to and fro。 He would not mention what he knew of
Arthur Donnithorne’s behaviour to Hetty till there was a clear
necessity for it： it was still possible Hetty might come back； and
the disclosure might be an injury or an offence to her。 And as soon
as he had been home and done what was necessary there to
prepare for his further absence； he would start off to Ireland： if he
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found no trace of Hetty on the road； he would go straight to Arthur
Donnithorne and make himself certain how far he was acquainted
with her movements。 Several times the thought occurred to him
that he would consult Mr。 Irwine； but that would be useless unless
he told him all； and so betrayed the secret about Arthur。 It seems
strange that Adam； in the incessant occupation of his mind about
Hetty； should never have alighted on the probability that she had
gone to Windsor； ignorant that Arthur was no longer there。
Perhaps the reason was that he could not conceive Hetty’s
throwing herself on Arthur uncalled； he imagined no cause that
could have driven her to such a step； after that letter written in
August。 There were but two alternatives in his mind： either Arthur
had written to her again and enticed her away； or she had simply
fled from her approaching marriage with himself because she
found； after all； she could not love him well enough； and yet was
afraid of her friends’ anger if she retracted。
With this last determination on his mind； of going straight to
Arthur； the thought that he had spent two days in inquiries which
had proved to be almost useless； was torturing to Adam； and yet；
since he would not tell the Poysers his conviction as to where
Hetty was gone； or his intention to follow her thither； he must be
able to say to them that he had traced her as far as possible。
It was after twelve o’clock on Tuesday night when Adam
reached Treddleston； and； unwilling to disturb his mother and
Seth； and also to encounter their questions at that hour； he threw
himself without undressing on a bed at the “Waggon
Overthrown；” and slept hard from pure weariness。 Not more than
four hours； however； for before five o’clock he set out on his way
home in the faint morning twilight。 He always kept a key of the
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workshop door in his pocket； so that he could let himself in； and he
wished to enter without awaking his mother； for he was anxious to
avoid telling her the new trouble himself by seeing Seth first； and
asking him to tell her when it should be necessary。 He walked
gently along the yard； and turned the key gently in the door； but；
as he expected； Gyp； who lay in
