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along。　　And　he　says　that　that　distressing　item　of　Mr。　Bloke's　is　nothing
but　a　lot　of　distressing　bash；　and　has　no　point　to　it；　and　no　sense　in
it；　and　no　information　in　it；　and　that　there　was　no　sort　of　necessity　for
stopping　the　press　to　publish　it。

Now　all　this　comes　of　being　good…hearted。　　If　I　had　been　as
unaccommodating　and　unsympathetic　as　some　people；　I　would　have　told
Mr。　Bloke　that　I　wouldn't　receive　his　communication　at　such　a　late　hour；
but　no；　his　snuffling　distress　touched　my　heart；　and　I　jumped　at　the
chance　of　doing　something　to　modify　his　misery。　　I　never　read　his　item　to
see　whether　there　was　anything　wrong　about　it；　but　hastily　wrote　the　few
lines　which　preceded　it；　and　sent　it　to　the　printers。　　And　what　has　my
kindness　done　for　me？　　It　has　done　nothing　but　bring　down　upon　me　a　storm
of　abuse　and　ornamental　blasphemy。

Now　I　will　read　that　item　myself；　and　see　if　there　is　any　foundation　for
all　this　fuss。　　And　if　there　is；　the　author　of　it　shall　hear　from　me。

I　have　read　it；　and　I　am　bound　to　admit　that　it　seems　a　little　mixed　at　a
first　glance。　　However；　I　will　peruse　it　once　more。

I　have　read　it　again；　and　it　does　really　seem　a　good　deal　more　mixed　than
ever。

I　have　read　it　over　five　times；　but　if　I　can　get　at　the　meaning　of　it　I
wish　I　may　get　my　just　deserts。　　It　won't　bear　analysis。　　There　are
things　about　it　which　I　cannot　understand　at　all。　　It　don't　say　whatever
became　of　William　Schuyler。　　It　just　says　enough　about　him　to　get　one
interested　in　his　career；　and　then　drops　him。　　Who　is　William　Schuyler；
anyhow；　and　what　part　of　South　Park　did　he　live　in；　and　if　he　started
down…town　at　six　o'clock；　did　he　ever　get　there；　and　if　he　did；　did
anything　happen　to　him？　　Is　he　the　individual　that　met　with　the
〃distressing　accident〃？　　Considering　the　elaborate　circumstantiality　of
detail　observable　in　the　item；　it　seems　to　me　that　it　ought　to　contain
more　information　than　it　does。　　On　the　contrary；　it　is　obscure　and　not
only　obscure；　but　utterly　incomprehensible。　　Was　the　breaking　of　Mr。
Schuyler's　leg；　fifteen　years　ago；　the　〃distressing　accident〃　that
plunged　Mr。　Bloke　into　unspeakable　grief；　and　caused　him　to　come　up　here
at　dead　of　night　and　stop　our　press　to　acquaint　the　world　with　the
circumstance？　　Or　did　the　〃distressing　accident　〃　consist　in　the
destruction　of　Schuyler's　mother…in…law's　property　in　early　times？
Or　did　it　consist　in　the　death　of　that　person　herself　three　years　ago
（albeit　it　does　not　appear　that　she　died　by　accident）？　　In　a　word；　what
did　that　〃distressing　accident〃　consist　in？　　What　did　that　driveling　ass
of　a　Schuyler　stand　in　the　wake　of　a　runaway　horse　for；　with　his　shouting
and　gesticulating；　if　he　wanted　to　stop　him？　　And　how　the　mischief　could
he　get　run　over　by　a　horse　that　had　already　passed　beyond　him？　　And　what
are　we　to　take　〃warning〃　by？　　And　how　is　this　extraordinary　chapter　of
incomprehensibilities　going　to　be　a　〃lesson〃　to　us？　　And；　above　all；　what
has　the　intoxicating　〃bowl〃　got　to　do　with　it；　anyhow？　　It　is　not　stated
that　Schuyler　drank；　or　that　his　wife　drank；　or　that　his　mother…in…law
drank；　or　that　the　horse　drank　wherefore；　then；　the　reference　to　the
intoxicating　bowl？　　It　does　seem　to　me　that　if　Mr。　Bloke　had　let　the
intoxicating　bowl　alone　himself；　he　never　would　have　got　into　so　much
trouble　about　this　exasperating　imaginary　accident。　　I　have　read　this。
absurd　item　over　and　over　again；　with　all　its　insinuating　plausibility；
until　my　head　swims；　but　I　can　make　neither　head　nor　tail　of　it。　　There
certainly　seems　to　have　been　an　accident　of　some　kind　or　other；　but　it　is
impossible　to　determine　what　the　nature　of　it　was；　or　who　was　the
sufferer　by　it。　　I　do　not　like　to　do　it；　but　I　feel　compelled　to　request
that　the　next　time　anything　happens　to　one　of　Mr。　Bloke's　friends；　he
will　append　such　explanatory　notes　to　his　account　of　it　as　will　enable　me
to　find　out　what　sort　of　an　accident　it　was　and　whom　it　happened　to。　　I
had　rather　all　his　friends　should　die　than　that　I　should　be　driven　to　the
verge　of　lunacy　again　in　trying　to　cipher　out　the　meaning　of　another　such
production　as　the　above。






A　MEDIEVAL　ROMANCE


CHAPTER　I

THE　SECRET　REVEALED。

It　was　night。　　Stillness　reigned　in　the　grand　old　feudal　castle　of
Klugenstein。　　The　year　1222　was　drawing　to　a　close。　　Far　away　up　in　the
tallest　of　the　castle's　towers　a　single　light　glimmered。　　A　secret
council　was　being　held　there。　　The　stern　old　lord　of　Klugenstein　sat　in
a　chair　of　state　meditating。　　Presently　he；　said；　with　a　tender
accent：

〃My　daughter！〃

A　young　man　of　noble　presence；　clad　from　head　to　heel　in　knightly　mail；
answered：

〃Speak；　father！〃

〃My　daughter；　the　time　is　come　for　the　revealing　of　the　mystery　that　hath
puzzled　all　your　young　life。　　Know；　then；　that　it　had　its　birth　in　the
matters　which　I　shall　now　unfold。　　My　brother　Ulrich　is　the　great　Duke　of
Brandenburgh。　　Our　father；　on　his　deathbed；　decreed　that　if　no　son　were
born　to　Ulrich；　the　succession　should　pass　to　my　house；　provided　a　son
were　born　to　me。　　And　further；　in　case　no　son；　were　born　to　either；　but
only　daughters；　then　the　succession　should　pass　to　Ulrich's　daughter；
if　she　proved　stainless；　if　she　did　not；　my　daughter　should　succeed；
if　she　retained　a　blameless　name。　　And　so　I；　and　my　old　wife　here；　prayed
fervently　for　the　good　boon　of　a　son；　but　the　prayer　was　vain。　　You　were
born　to　us。　　I　was　in　despair。　　I　saw　the　mighty　prize　slipping　from　my
grasp；　the　splendid　dream　vanishing　away。　　And　I　had　been　so　hopeful！
Five　years　had　Ulrich　lived　in　wedlock；　and　yet　his　wife　had　borne　no
heir　of　either　sex。

〃'But　hold；'　I　said；　'all　is　not　lost。'　　A　saving　scheme　had　shot　athwart
my　brain。　　You　were　born　at　midnight。　　Only　the　leech；　the　nurse；　and　six
waiting…women　knew　your　sex。　　I　hanged　them　every　one　before　an　hour　had
sped。　　Next　morning　all　the　barony　went　mad　with　rejoicing　over　the
proclamation　that　a　son　was　born　to　Klugenstein；　an　heir　to　mighty
Brandenburgh！　　And　well　the　secret　has　been　kept。　　Your　mother's　own
sister　nursed　your　infancy；　and　from　that　time　forward　we　feared　nothing。

〃When　you　were　ten　years　old；　a　daughter　was　born　to　Ulrich。　　We　grieved；
but　hoped　for　good　results　from　measles；　or　physicians；　or　other　natural
enemies　of　infancy；　but　were　always　disappointed。　　She　lived；　she　throve…
…Heaven's　malison　upon　her！　　But　it　is　nothing。　　We　are　safe。　　For；
Ha…ha！　have　we　not　a　son？　　And　is　not　our　son　the　future　Duke？　　Our　well…
beloved　Conrad；　is　it　not　so？for；　woman　of　eight…and…twenty　yearsas
you　are；　my　child；　none　other　name　than　that　hath　ever　fallen　to　you！

〃Now　it　hath　come　to　pass　that　age　hath　laid　its　hand　upon　my　brother；
and　he　waxes　feeble。　　The　cares　of　state　do　tax　him　sore。　　Therefore　he
wills　that　you　shall　come　to　him　and　be　already　Dukein　act；　though　not
yet　in　name。　　Your　servitors　are　readyyou　journey　forth　to…night。

〃Now　listen　well。　　Remember　every　word　I　say。　　There　is　a　law　as　old　as
Germany　that　if　any　woman　sit　for　a　single　instant　in　the　great　ducal
chair　before　she　hath　been　absolutely　crowned　in　presence　of　the　people；
SHE　SHALL　DIE！　So　heed　my　；words。　　Pretend　humility。　　Pronounce　your
judgments　from　the　Premier's　chair；　which　stands　at　the　foot　of　the
throne。　　Do　this　until　you　are　crowned　and　safe。　　It　is　not　likely　that
your　sex　will　ever　be　discovered；　but　still　it　is　the　part　of　wisdom　to
make　all　things　as　safe　as　may　be　in　this　treacherous　earthly　life。〃

〃Oh；　my　father；　is　it　for　this　my　life　hath　been　a　lie！　　Was　it　that　I
might　cheat　my　unoffending　cousin　of　her　rights？　　Spare　me；　father；
spare　your　child！〃

〃What；　huzzy！　　Is　this　my　reward　for　the　august　fortune　my　brain　has
wrought　for　thee？　　By　the　bones　of　my　father；　this　puling　sentiment　of
thine　but　ill　accords　with　my　humor。

Betake　thee　to　the　Duke；　instantly！　　And　beware　how　thou　meddlest　with　my
purpose！〃

Let　this　suffice；　of　the　conversation。　　It　is　enough　for　us　to　know　that
the　prayers；　the　entreaties　and　the　tears　of　the　gentle…natured　girl
availed　nothing。　　They　nor　anything　could　move　the　stout　old　lord　of
Klugenstein。　　And　so；　at　last；　with　a　heavy　heart；　the　daughter　saw　the
castle　gates　close　behind　her；　and　found　herself　riding　away　in　the
darkness　surrounded　by　a　knightly　array　of　armed；　vassals　and　a　brave
following　of　servants。

The　old　baron　sat　silent　for　many　minutes　after　his　daughter's　departure；
and　then　he　turned　to　his　sad　wife　and　said：

〃Dame；　our　matters　seem　speeding　fairly。　　It　is　full　three　months　since　I
sent　the　shrewd　and　handsome　Count　Detzin　on　his　devilish　mission　to　my
brother's　daughter　Constance。　　If　he　fail；　we　are　not　wholly　safe；　but　if
he　do　succeed；　no　power　can　bar　our　girl　from　being　Duchess　e'en　though
ill…fortune　should　decree　she　never　should　be　Duke！〃

〃My　heart　is　full　of　bodings；　yet　all　may　still　be　well。〃

〃Tush；　woman！　Leave　the　owls　to　croak。　　To　bed　with　ye；　and　dream　of
Brandenburgh　and　grandeur！〃




CHAPTER　II。

FESTIVITY　AND　TEARS

Six　days　after　the　occurrences　related　in　the　above　chapter；　the
brilliant　capital　of　the　Duchy　of　Brandenburgh　was　resplendent　with
military　pagean