sketches new and old-第27节

按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！


he　bore　rude　weapons；　and　knew　something　of　art；　that　he　imagined　he　had
a　soul；　and　pleased　himself　with　the　fancy　that　it　was　immortal。　　But　let
us　not　laugh；　there　may　be　creatures　in　existence　to　whom　we　and　our
vanities　and　profundities　may　seem　as　ludicrous。〃

END　OF　PART　SECOND




SOME　LEARNED　FABLES　FOR　GOOD　OLD　BOYS　AND　GIRLS

PART　THIRD

Near　the　margin　of　the　great　river　the　scientists　presently　found　a　huge；
shapely　stone；　with　this　inscription：

　　　　　〃In　1847；　in　the　spring；　the　river　overflowed　its　banks　and　covered
　　　　　the　whole　township。　　The　depth　was　from　two　to　six　feet。　　More　than
　　　　　900　head　of　cattle　were　lost；　and　many　homes　destroyed。　　The　Mayor
　　　　　ordered　this　memorial　to　be　erected　to　perpetuate　the　event。　　God
　　　　　spare　us　the　repetition　of　it！〃

With　infinite　trouble；　Professor　Woodlouse　succeeded　in　making　a
translation　of　this　inscription；　which　was　sent　home；　and　straightway　an
enormous　excitement　was　created　about　it。　　It　confirmed；　in　a　remarkable
way；　certain　treasured　traditions　of　the　ancients。　　The　translation　was
slightly　marred　by　one　or　two　untranslatable　words；　but　these　did　not
impair　the　general　clearness　of　the　meaning。　　It　is　here　presented：

　　　　　〃One　thousand　eight　hundred　and　forty…seven　years　ago；　the　（fires？）
　　　　　descended　and　consumed　the　whole　city。　　Only　some　nine　hundred　souls
　　　　　were　saved；　all　others　destroyed。　　The　（king？）　commanded　this　stone
　　　　　to　be　set　up　to　。　　。　　。　　（untranslatable）　。　　。　　。　　prevent　the
　　　　　repetition　of　it。〃

This　was　the　first　successful　and　satisfactory　translation　that　had　been
made　of　the　mysterious　character　let　behind　him　by　extinct　man；　and　it
gave　Professor　Woodlouse　such　reputation　that　at　once　every　seat　of
learning　in　his　native　land　conferred　a　degree　of　the　most　illustrious
grade　upon　him；　and　it　was　believed　that　if　he　had　been　a　soldier　and　had
turned　his　splendid　talents　to　the　extermination　of　a　remote　tribe　of
reptiles；　the　king　would　have　ennobled　him　and　made　him　rich。　　And　this；
too；　was　the　origin　of　that　school　of　scientists　called　Manologists；
whose　specialty　is　the　deciphering　of　the　ancient　records　of　the　extinct
bird　termed　Man。　　＇For　it　is　now　decided　that　Man　was　a　bird　and　not　a
reptile。＇　　But　Professor　Woodlouse　began　and　remained　chief　of　these；　for
it　was　granted　that　no　translations　were　ever　so　free　from　error　as　his。
Others　made　mistakes　he　seemed　incapable　of　it。　　Many　a　memorial　of　the
lost　race　was　afterward　found；　but　none　ever　attained　to　the　renown　and
veneration　achieved　by　the　〃Mayoritish　Stone〃it　being　so　called　from　the
word　〃Mayor〃　in　it；　which；　being　translated　〃King；〃　〃Mayoritish　Stone〃
was　but　another　way　of　saying　〃King　Stone。〃

Another　time　the　expedition　made　a　great　〃find。〃　　It　was　a　vast　round
flattish　mass；　ten　frog…spans　in　diameter　and　five　or　six　high。
Professor　Snail　put　on　his　spectacles　and　examined　it　all　around；　and
then　climbed　up　and　inspected　the　top。　　He　said：

〃The　result　of　my　perlustration　and　perscontation　of　this　isoperimetrical
protuberance　is　a　belief　at　it　is　one　of　those　rare　and　wonderful
creation　left　by　the　Mound　Builders。　　The　fact　that　this　one　is
lamellibranchiate　in　its　formation；　simply　adds　to　its　interest　as　being
possibly　of　a　different　kind　from　any　we　read　of　in　the　records　of
science；　but　yet　in　no　manner　marring　its　authenticity。　　Let　the
megalophonous　grasshopper　sound　a　blast　and　summon　hither　the　perfunctory
and　circumforaneous　Tumble…Bug；　to　the　end　that　excavations　may　be　made
and　learning　gather　new　treasures。〃

Not　a　Tumble…Bug　could　be　found　on　duty；　so　the　Mound　was　excavated　by　a
working　party　of　Ants。　　Nothing　was　discovered。　　This　would　have　been　a
great　disappointment；　had　not　the　venerable　Longlegs　explained　the
matter。　　He　said：

〃It　is　now　plain　to　me　that　the　mysterious　and　forgotten　race　of　Mound
Builders　did　not　always　erect　these　edifices　as　mausoleums；　else　in　this
case；　as　in　all　previous　cases；　their　skeletons　would　be　found　here；
along　with　the　rude　implements　which　the　creatures　used　in　life。　　Is　not
this　manifest？〃

〃True！　true！〃　from　everybody。

〃Then　we　have　made　a　discovery　of　peculiar　value　here；　a　discovery　which
greatly　extends　our　knowledge　of　this　creature　in　place　of　diminishing
it；　a　discovery　which　will　add　luster　to　the　achievements　of　this
expedition　and　win　for　us　the　commendations　of　scholars　everywhere。
For　the　absence　of　the　customary　relics　here　means　nothing　less　than
this：　The　Mound　Builder；　instead　of　being　the　ignorant；　savage　reptile　we
have　been　taught　to　consider　him；　was　a　creature　of　cultivation　and　high
intelligence；　capable　of　not　only　appreciating　worthy　achievements　of　the
great　and　noble　of　his　species；　but　of　commemorating　them！　　Fellow…
scholars；　this　stately　Mound　is　not　a　sepulcher；　it　is　a　monument！〃

A　profound　impression　was　produced　by　this。

But　it　was　interrupted　by　rude　and　derisive　laughterand　the　Tumble…Bug
appeared。

〃A　monument！〃　quoth　he。　　〃A　monument　setup　by　a　Mound　Builder！　　Aye；　so
it　is！　　So　it　is；　indeed；　to　the　shrewd　keen　eye　of　science；　but　to　an；
ignorant　poor　devil　who　has　never　seen　a　college；　it　is　not　a　Monument；
strictly　speaking；　but　is　yet　a　most　rich　and　noble　property；　and　with
your　worship's　good　permission　I　will　proceed　to　manufacture　it　into
spheres　of　exceedings　grace　and〃

The　Tumble…Bug　was　driven　away　with　stripes；　and　the　draftsmen　of　the
expedition　were　set　to　making　views　of　the　Monument　from　different
standpoints；　while　Professor　Woodlouse；　in　a　frenzy　of　scientific　zeal；
traveled　all　over　it　and　all　around　it　hoping　to　find　an　inscription。
But　if　there　had　ever　been　one；　it　had　decayed　or　been　removed　by　some
vandal　as　a　relic。

The　views　having　been　completed；　it　was　now　considered　safe　to　load　the
precious　Monument　itself　upon　the　backs　of　four　of　the　largest　Tortoises
and　send　it　home　to　the　king's　museum；　which　was　done；　and　when　it
arrived　it　was　received　with　enormous　Mat　and　escorted　to　its　future
abiding…place　by　thousands　of　enthusiastic　citizens；　King　Bullfrog　XVI。
himself　attending　and　condescending　to　sit　enthroned　upon　it　throughout
the　progress。

The　growing　rigor　of　the　weather　was　now　admonishing　the　scientists　to
close　their　labors　for　the　present；　so　they　made　preparations　to　journey
homeward。　　But　even　their　last　day　among　the　Caverns　bore　fruit；　for　one
of　the　scholars　found　in　an　out…of…the…way　corner　of　the　Museum　or
〃Burial　Place〃　a　most　strange　and　extraordinary　thing。　　It　was　nothing
less　than　a　double　Man…Bird　lashed　together　breast　to　breast　by　a　natural
ligament；　and　labeled　with　the　untranslatable　words；　〃Siamese　Twins。〃
The　official　report　concerning　this　thing　closed　thus：

〃Wherefore　it　appears　that　there　were　in　old　times　two　distinct　species
of　this　majestic　fowl；　the　one　being　single　and　the　other　double。　　Nature
has　a　reason　for　all　things。　　It　is　plain　to　the　eye　of　science　that　the
Double…Man　originally　inhabited　a　region　where　dangers　abounded；　hence　he
was　paired　together　to　the　end　that　while　one　part　slept　the　other　might
watch；　and　likewise　that；　danger　being　discovered；　there　might　always　be
a　double　instead　of　a　single　power　to　oppose　it。　　All　honor　to　the
mystery…dispelling　eye　of　godlike　Science！〃

And　near　the　Double　Man…Bird　was　found　what　was　plainly　an　ancient　record
of　his；　marked　upon　numberless　sheets　of　a　thin　white　substance　and　bound
together。　　Almost　the　first　glance　that　Professor　Woodlouse　threw　into　it
revealed　this　following　sentence；　which　he　instantly　translated　and　laid
before　the　scientists；　in　a　tremble；　and　it　uplifted　every　soul　there
with　exultation　and　astonishment：

〃In　truth　it　is　believed　by　many　that　the　lower　animals　reason　and　talk
together。〃

When　the　great　official　report　of　the　expedition　appeared；　the　above
sentence　bore　this　comment：

〃Then　there　are　lower　animals　than　Man！　　This　remarkable　passage　can　mean
nothing　else。　　Man　himself　is　extinct；　but　they　may　still　exist。　　What
can　they　be？　　Where　do　they　inhabit？　　One's　enthusiasm　bursts　all　bounds
in　the　contemplation　of　the　brilliant　field　of　discovery　and
investigation　here　thrown　open　to　science。　　We　close　our　labors　with　the
humble　prayer　that　your　Majesty　will　immediately　appoint　a　commission　and
command　it　to　rest　not　nor　spare　expense　until　the　search　for　this
hitherto　unsuspected　race　of　the　creatures　of　God　shall　be　crowned　with
success。〃

The　expedition　then　journeyed　homeward　after　its　long　absence　and　its
faithful　endeavors；　and　was　received　with　a　mighty　ovation　by　the　whole
grateful　country。　　There　were　vulgar；　ignorant　carpers；　of　course；　as
there　always　are　and　always　will　be；　and　naturally　one　of　these　was　the
obscene　Tumble…Bug。　　He　said　that　all　he　had　learned　by　his　travels　was
that　science　only　needed　a　spoonful　of　supposition　to　build　a　mountain　of
demonstrated　fact　out　of；　and　that　for　the　future　he　meant　to　be　content
with　the　knowledge　that　nature　had　made　free　to　all　creatures　and　not　go
prying　into　the　august　secrets　of　the　Deity。






MY　LATE　SENATORIAL　SECRETARYSHIP　＇Written　about　1867。＇

I　am　not　a　private　secretary