sketches new and old-第18节

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they　are　discussing。　　They　ruthlessly　call　an　editor　from　his　work　with
such　a　remark　as：　〃Did　you　see　this；　Smith；　in　the　Gazette？〃　and　proceed
to　read　the　paragraph　while　the　sufferer　reins　in　his　impatient　pen　and
listens；　they　often　loll　and　sprawl　round　the　office　hour　after　hour；
swapping　anecdotes　and　relating　personal　experiences　to　each　other
hairbreadth　escapes；　social　encounters　with　distinguished　men；　election
reminiscences；　sketches　of　odd　characters；　etc。　　And　through　all　those
hours　they　never　seem　to　comprehend　that　they　are　robbing　the　editors　of
their　time；　and　the　public　of　journalistic　excellence　in　next　day's
paper。　　At　other　times　they　drowse；　or　dreamily　pore　over　exchanges；　or
droop　limp　and　pensive　over　the　chair…arms　for　an　hour。　　Even　this　solemn
silence　is　small　respite　to　the　editor；　for　the　next　uncomfortable　thing
to　having　people　look　over　his　shoulders；　perhaps；　is　to　have　them　sit　by
in　silence　and　listen　to　the　scratching　of　his　pen。　　If　a　body　desires　to
talk　private　business　with　one　of　the　editors；　he　must　call　him　outside；
for　no　hint　milder　than　blasting…powder　or　nitroglycerin　would　be　likely
to　move　the　bores　out　of　listening…distance。　　To　have　to　sit　and　endure
the　presence　of　a　bore　day　after　day；　to　feel　your　cheerful　spirits　begin
to　sink　as　his　footstep　sounds　on　the　stair；　and　utterly　vanish　away　as
his　tiresome　form　enters　the　door；　to　suffer　through　his　anecdotes　and
die　slowly　to　his　reminiscences；　to　feel　always　the　fetters　of　his
clogging　presence；　to　long　hopelessly　for　one　single　day's　privacy；　to
note　with　a　shudder；　by　and　by；　that　to　contemplate　his　funeral　in　fancy
has　ceased　to　soothe；　to　imagine　him　undergoing　in　strict　and　fearful
detail　the　tortures　of　the　ancient　Inquisition　has　lost　its　power　to
satisfy　the　heart；　and　that　even　to　wish　him　millions　and　millions　and
millions　of　miles　in　Tophet　is　able　to　bring　only　a　fitful　gleam　of　joy；
to　have　to　endure　all　this；　day　after　day；　and　week　after　week；　and　month
after　month；　is　an　affliction　that　transcends　any　other　that　men　suffer。
Physical　pain　is　pastime　to　it；　and　hanging　a　pleasure　excursion。






JOHNNY　GREER

〃The　church　was　densely　crowded　that　lovely　summer　Sabbath；〃　said　the
Sunday…school　superintendent；　〃and　all；　as　their　eyes　rested　upon　the
small　coffin；　seemed　impressed　by　the　poor　black　boy's　fate。　　Above　the
stillness　the　pastor's　voice　rose；　and　chained　the　interest　of　every　ear
as　he　told；　with　many　an　envied　compliment；　how　that　the　brave；　noble；
daring　little　Johnny　Greer；　when　he　saw　the　drowned　body　sweeping　down
toward　the　deep　part　of　the　river　whence　the　agonized　parents　never　could
have　recovered　it　in　this　world；　gallantly　sprang　into　the　stream；　and；
at　the　risk　of　his　life；　towed　the　corpse　to　shore；　and　held　it　fast　till
help　came　and　secured　it。　　Johnny　Greer　was　sitting　just　in　front　of　me。
A　ragged　street…boy；　with　eager　eye；　turned　upon　him　instantly；　and　said
in　a　hoarse　whisper

〃'No；　but　did　you；　though？'

〃'Yes。'

〃'Towed　the　carkiss　ashore　and　saved　it　yo'self？'

〃'Yes。'

〃'Cracky！　　What　did　they　give　you？'

〃'Nothing。'

〃'W…h…a…t　＇with　intense　disgust＇！　　D'you　know　what　I'd　'a'　done？　　I'd　'a'
anchored　him　out　in　the　stream；　and　said；　Five　dollars；　gents；　or　you
carn't　have　yo'　nigger。'〃






THE　FACTS　IN　THE　CASE　OF　THE　GREAT　BEEF　CONTRACT　＇Written　about　1867。＇

In　as　few　words　as　possible　I　wish　to　lay　before　the　nation　what's　here；
howsoever　small；　I　have　had　in　this　matterthis　matter　which　has　so
exercised　the　public　mind；　engendered　so　much　ill…feeling；　and　so　filled
the　newspapers　of　both　continents　with　distorted　statements　and
extravagant　comments。

The　origin　of　this　distressful　thing　was　thisand　I　assert　here　that
every　fact　in　the　following　resume　can　be　amply　proved　by　the　official
records　of　the　General　Government。

John　Wilson　Mackenzie；　of　Rotterdam；　Chemung　County；　New　Jersey；
deceased；　contracted　with　the　General　Government；　on　or　about　the　10th
day　of　October；　1861；　to　furnish　to　General　Sherman　the　sum　total　of
thirty　barrels　of　beef。

Very　well。

He　started　after　Sherman　with　the　beef；　but　when　he　got　to　Washington
Sherman　had　gone　to　Manassas；　so　he　took　the　beef　and　followed　him　there；
but　arrived　too　late；　he　followed　him　to　Nashville；　and　from　Nashville　to
Chattanooga；　and　from　Chattanooga　to　Atlantabut　he　never　could　overtake
him。　　At　Atlanta　he　took　a　fresh　start　and　followed　him　clear　through　his
march　to　the　sea。　　He　arrived　too　late　again　by　a　few　days；　but　hearing
that　Sherman　was　going　out　in　the　Quaker　City　excursion　to　the　Holy　Land；
he　took　shipping　for　Beirut；　calculating　to　head　off　the　other　vessel。
When　he　arrived　in　Jerusalem　with　his　beef；　he　learned　that　Sherman　had
not　sailed　in　the　Quaker　City；　but　had　gone　to　the　Plains　to　fight　the
Indians。　　He　returned　to　America　and　started　for　the　Rocky　Mountains。
After　sixty…eight　days　of　arduous　travel　on　the　Plains；　and　when　he　had
got　within　four　miles　of　Sherman's　headquarters；　he　was　tomahawked　and
scalped；　and　the　Indians　got　the　beef。　　They　got　all　of　it　but　one
barrel。　　Sherman's　army　captured　that；　and　so；　even　in　death；　the　bold
navigator　partly　fulfilled　his　contract。　　In　his　will；　which　he　had　kept
like　a　journal；　he　bequeathed　the　contract　to　his　son　Bartholomew　W。
Bartholomew　W。　　made　out　the　following　bill；　and　then　died：

　　　　　THE　UNITED　STATES

　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　In　account　with　JOHN　WILSON　MACKENZIE；　of　New　Jersey；
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　deceased；　。　　。　　。　　。　　。　　。　　。　　。　　。　　。　　　　　　　　　　Dr。

　　　　　To　thirty　barrels　of　beef　for　General　Sherman；　at　100；　3；000
　　　　　To　traveling　expenses　and　transportation　。　　。　　。　　。　　。　　14；000

　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　Total　。　。　。　。　。　。　。　。　。　。　。　。　。　。　。　。　。　。　。　　17；000
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　Rec'd　Pay't。


He　died　then；　but　he　left　the　contract　to　Wm。　J。　Martin；　who　tried　to
collect　it；　but　died　before　he　got　through。　　He　left　it　to　Barker　J。
Allen；　and　he　tried　to　collect　it　also。　　He　did　not　survive。　　Barker　J。
Allen　left　it　to　Anson　G。　Rogers；　who　attempted　to　collect　it；　and　got
along　as　far　as　the　Ninth　Auditor's　Office；　when　Death；　the　great
Leveler；　came　all　unsummoned；　and　foreclosed　on　him　also。　　He　left　the
bill　to　a　relative　of　his　in　Connecticut；　Vengeance　Hopkins　by　name；　who
lasted　four　weeks　and　two　days；　and　made　the　best　time　on　record；　coming
within　one　of　reaching　the　Twelfth　Auditor。　　In　his　will　he　gave　the
contract　bill　to　his　uncle；　by　the　name　of　O…be…joyful　Johnson。　　It　was
too　undermining　for　joyful。　　His　last　words　were：　〃Weep　not　for　meI　am
willing　to　go。〃　　And　so　he　was；　poor　soul。　　Seven　people　inherited　the
contract　after　that；　but　they　all　died。　　So　it　came　into　my　hands　at
last。　　It　fell　to　me　through　a　relative　by　the　name　of；　Hubbard
Bethlehem　Hubbard；　of　Indiana。　　He　had　had　a　grudge　against　me　for　a　long
time；　but　in　his　last　moments　he　sent　for　me；　and　forgave　me　everything；
and；　weeping；　gave　me　the　beef　contract。

This　ends　the　history　of　it　up　to　the　time　that　I　succeeded　to　the
property。　　I　will　now　endeavor　to　set　myself　straight　before　the　nation
in　everything　that　concerns　my　share　in　the　matter。　　I　took　this　beef
contract；　and　the　bill　for　mileage　and　transportation；　to　the　President
of　the　United　States。

He　said；　〃Well；　sir；　what　can　I　do　for　you？〃

I　said；　〃Sire；　on　or　about　the　l0th　day　of　October；　1861；　John　Wilson
Mackenzie；　of　Rotterdam；　Chemung　County；　New　Jersey；　deceased；　contracted
with　the　General　Government　to　furnish　to　General　Sherman　the　sum　total
of　thirty　barrels　of　beef〃

He　stopped　me　there；　and　dismissed　me　from　hi　presencekindly；　but
firmly。　　The　next　day　called　on　the　Secretary　of　State。

He　said；　〃Well；　sir？〃

I　said；　〃Your　Royal　Highness：　on　or　about　the　10th　day　of　October；　1861；
John　Wilson　Mackenzie　of　Rotterdam；　Chemung　County；　New　Jersey；　deceased；
contracted　with　the　General　Government　to　furnish　to　General　Sherman　the
sum　total　of　thirty　barrels　of　beef〃

〃That　will　do；　sirthat　will　do；　this　office　has　nothing　to　do　with
contracts　for　beef。〃

I　was　bowed　out。　　I　thought　the　matter　all　over　and　finally；　the
following　day；　I　visited　the　Secretary　of　the　Navy；　who　said；　〃Speak
quickly；　sir；　do　not　keep　me　waiting。〃

I　said；　〃Your　Royal　Highness；　on　or　about　the　10th　day　of　October；　1861；
John　Wilson　Mackenzie　of　Rotterdam；　Chemung　County；　New　Jersey；　deceased；
contracted　with　the　General　Government　to　General　Sherman　the　sum　total
of　thirty　barrels　of　beef〃

Well；　it　was　as　far　as　I　could　get。　　He　had　nothing　to　do　with　beef
contracts　for　General　Sherman　either。　　I　began　to　think　it　was　a　curious
kind　of　government。　　It　looked　somewhat　as　if　they　wanted　to　get　out　of
paying　for　that　beef。　　The　following　day　I　went　to　the　Secretary　of　the
Interior。

I　said；　〃Your　Imperial　Highness；　on　or　about　the　10th　day　of　October〃

〃That　is　sufficient；　sir。　　I　have　heard　of　you　before。　　Go；　take　your
infamous　beef　contract　out　of　this　establishment。　　The　Interior
Department　has　nothing　whatever　to　do　with　subsistence　for　the　army。〃

I　went　away。　　But　I　was　exasperated　now。　　I　said　I　would　haunt　them；
I　would　infest　every　department　of　this　i