the story of a pioneer-第17节

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nervousness。　　I　do　not　know　what　she　expected　me

to　do　or　say；　but　toward　the　end　of　the　sermon　it

became　clear　that　I　had　not　justified　her　fears。　

The　look　of　intense　apprehension　left　her　eyes；　her

features　relaxed　into　placidity；　and　later　in　the　day

she　paid　me　the　highest　compliment　I　had　yet　re…

ceived　from　a　member　of　my　family。



‘‘I　liked　the　sermon　very　much；''　she　peacefully

told　my　brother。　　‘‘Anna　didn't　say　anything　about

hell；　or　about　anything　else！''



When　we　laughed　at　this　handsome　tribute；　she

hastened　to　qualify　it。



‘‘What　I　mean；''　she　explained；　‘‘is　that　Anna

didn't　say　anything　objectionable　in　the　pulpit！''　

And　with　this　recognition　I　was　content。



Between　the　death　of　my　friend　and　my　departure

for　Europe　I　buried　myself　in　the　work　of　the　uni…

versity　and　of　my　little　church；　and　as　if　in　answer

to　the　call　of　my　need；　Mary　E。　Livermore；　who　had

given　me　the　first　professional　encouragement　I

had　ever　received；　re…entered　my　life。　　Her　husband；

like　myself；　was　pastor　of　a　church　in　Hingham；　and

whenever　his　finances　grew　low；　or　there　was　need

of　a　fund　for　some　special　purposeconditions　that

usually　exist　in　a　small　churchhis　brilliant　wife

came　to　his　assistance　and　raised　the　money；　while

her　husband　retired　modestly　to　the　background

and　regarded　her　with　adoring　eyes。　　On　one　of

these　occasions；　I　remember；　when　she　entered　the

pulpit　to　preach　her　sermon；　she　dropped　her　bon…

net　and　coat　on　an　unoccupied　chair。　　A　little　later

there　was　need　of　this　chair；　and　Mr。　Livermore；

who　sat　under　the　pulpit；　leaned　forward；　picked　up

the　garments；　and；　without　the　least　trace　of　self…

consciousness；　held　them　in　his　lap　throughout　the

sermon。　　One　of　the　members　of　the　church；　who

appeared　to　be　irritated　by　the　incident；　later　spoke

of　it　to　him　and　added；　sardonically；　‘‘How　does　it

feel　to　be　merely　‘Mrs。　Livermore's　husband'？''



In　reply　Mr。　Livermore　flashed　on　him　one　of　his

charming　smiles。　　‘‘Why；　I'm　very　proud　of　it；''

he　said；　with　the　utmost　cheerfulness。　　‘‘You　see；

I'm　the　only　man　in　the　world　who　has　that　dis…

tinction。''



They　were　a　charming　couple；　the　Livermores；

and　they　deserved　far　more　than　they　received　from

a　world　to　which　they　gave　so　freely　and　so　richly。

To　me；　as　to　others；　they　were　more　than　kind；　and

I　never　recall　them　without　a　deep　feeling　of　grati…

tude　and　an　equally　deep　sense　of　loss　in　their　passing。



It　was　during　this　period；　also；　that　I　met　Frances

E。　Willard。　　There　was　a　great　Moody　revival　in

progress　in　Boston；　and　Miss　Willard　was　the　right…

hand　assistant　of　Mr。　Moody。　　To　her　that　revival

must　have　been　marked　with　a　star；　for　during　it

she　met　for　the　first　time　Miss　Anna　Gordon；　who

became　her　life…long　friend　and　her　biographer。　

The　meetings　also　laid　the　foundation　of　our　friend…

ship；　and　for　many　years　Miss　Willard　and　I　were

closely　associated　in　work　and　affection。



On　the　second　or　third　night　of　the　revival；　dur…

ing　one　of　the　‘‘mixed　meetings；''　attended　by　both

women　and　men；　Mr。　Moody　invited　those　who　were

willing　to　talk　to　sinners　to　come　to　the　front。　　I

went　down　the　aisle　with　others；　and　found　a　seat

near　Miss　Willard；　to　whom　I　was　then　introduced

by　some　one　who　knew　us　both。　　I　wore　my　hair

short　in　those　days；　and　I　had　a　little　fur　cap　on　my

head。　　Though　I　had　been　preaching　for　several

years；　I　looked　absurdly　youngfar　too　young；　it

soon　became　evident；　to　interest　Mr。　Moody。　　He

was　already　moving　about　among　the　men　and

women　who　had　responded　to　his　invitation；　and

one　by　one　he　invited　them　to　speak；　passing　me

each　time　until　at　last　I　was　left　alone。　　Then　he

took　pity　on　me　and　came　to　my　side　to　whisper

kindly　that　I　had　misunderstood　his　invitation。　

He　did　not　want　young　girls　to　talk　to　his　people；

he　said；　but　mature　women　with　worldly　experi…

ence。　　He　advised　me　to　go　home　to　my　mother；

adding；　to　soften　the　blow；　that　some　time　in　the

future　when　there　were　young　girls　at　the　meeting

I　could　come　and　talk　to　them。



I　made　no　explanations　to　him；　but　started　to

leave；　and　Miss　Willard；　who　saw　me　departing；　fol…

lowed　and　stopped　me。　　She　asked　why　I　was　going；

and　I　told　her　that　Mr。　Moody　had　sent　me　home

to　grow。　　Frances　Willard　had　a　keen　sense　of　humor；

and　she　enjoyed　the　joke　so　thoroughly　that　she

finally　convinced　me　it　was　amusing；　though　at　first

the　humor　of　it　had　escaped　me。　　She　took　me　back

to　Mr。　Moody　and　explained　the　situation　to　him；

and　he　apologized　and　put　me　to　work。　　He　said

he　had　thought　I　was　about　sixteen。　　After　that　I

occasionally　helped　him　in　the　intervals　of　my　other

work。



The　time　had　come　to　follow　Mrs。　Addy's　wishes

and　go　to　Europe；　and　I　sailed　in　the　month　of

June　following　my　graduation；　and　traveled　for　three

months　with　a　party　of　tourists　under　the　direction

of　Eben　Tourgee；　of　the　Boston　Conservatory　of

Music。　　We　landed　in　Glasgow；　and　from　there

went　to　England；　Belgium；　Holland；　Germany；

France；　and　last　of　all　to　Italy。　　Our　company　in…

cluded　many　clergymen　and　a　never…to…be…forgotten

widow　whose　light…hearted　attitude　toward　the　mem…

ory　of　her　departed　spouse　furnished　the　comedy

of　our　first　voyage。　　It　became　a　pet　diversion　to

ask　her　if　her　husband　still　lived；　for　she　always

answered　the　question　in　the　same　mournful　words；

and　with　the　same　manner　of　irrepressible　gaiety。



‘‘Oh　no！''　she　would　chirp。　　‘‘My　dear　departed

has　been　in　our　Heavenly　Father's　house　for　the

past　eight　years！''



At　its　best；　the　vacation　without　my　friend　was

tragically　incomplete；　and　only　a　few　of　its　incidents

stand　out　with　clearness　across　the　forty…six　years

that　have　passed　since　then。　　One　morning；　I　re…

member；　I　preached　an　impromptu　sermon　in　the

Castle　of　Heidelberg　before　a　large　gathering；　and

a　little　later；　in　Genoa；　I　preached　a　very　different

sermon　to　a　wholly　different　congregation。　　There

was　a　gospel…ship　in　the　harbor；　and　one　Saturday

the　pastor　of　it　came　ashore　to　ask　if　some　American

clergyman　in　our　party　would　preach　on　his　ship

the　next　morning。　　He　was　an　old…time；　orthodox

Presbyterian；　and　from　the　tips　of　his　broad…soled

shoes　to　the　severe　part　in　the　hair　above　his　sancti…

monious　brow　he　looked　the　type。　　I　was　not　pres…

sent　when　he　called　at　our　hotel；　and　my　absence

gave　my　fellow…clergymen　an　opportunity　to　play　a

joke　on　the　gentleman　from　the　gospel…ship。　　They

assured　him　that　‘‘Dr。　Shaw''　would　preach　for　him；

and　the　pastor　returned　to　his　post　greatly　pleased。　

When　they　told　me　of　his　invitation；　however；　they

did　not　add　that　they　had　neglected　to　tell　him　Dr。

Shaw　was　a　woman；　and　I　was　greatly　elated　by

the　compliment　I　thought　had　been　paid　me。



Our　entire　party　of　thirty　went　out　to　the　gospel…

ship　the　next　morning；　and　when　the　pastor　came

to　meet　us；　lank　and　forbidding；　his　austere　lips　vainly

trying　to　curve　into　a　smile　of　welcome；　they　intro…

duced　me　to　him　as　the　minister　who　was　to　deliver

the　sermon。　　He　had　just　taken　my　hand；　he

dropped　it　as　if　it　had　burned　his　own。　　For　a　mo…

ment　he　had　no　words　to　meet　the　crisis。　　Then　he

stuttered　something　to　the　effect　that　the　situation

was　impossible　that　his　men　would　not　listen　to

a　woman；　that　they　would　mob　her；　that　it　would

be　blasphemous　for　a　woman　to　preach。　　My　asso…

ciates；　who　had　so　light…heartedly　let　me　in　for　this

unpleasant　experience；　now　realized　that　they　must

see　me　through　it。　　They　persuaded　him　to　allow

me　to　preach　the　sermon。



With　deep　reluctance　the　pastor　finally　accepted

me　and　the　situation；　but　when　the　moment　came

to　introduce　me；　he　devoted　most　of　his　time　to

heartfelt　apologies　for　my　presence。　　He　explained

to　the　sailors　that　I　was　a　woman；　and　fervidly

assured　them　that　he　himself　was　not　responsible

for　my　appearance　there。　　With　every　word　he　ut…

tered　he　put　a　brick　in　the　wall　he　was　building　be…

tween　me　and　the　crew；　until　at　last　I　felt　that　I

could　never　get　past　it。　　I　was　very　unhappy；　very

lonely；　very　homesick；　and　suddenly　the　thought

came　to　me　that　these　men；　notwithstanding　their

sullen　eyes　and　forbidding　faces；　might　be　lonely

and　homesick；　too。　　I　decided　to　talk　to　them　as　a

woman　and　not　as　a　minister；　and　I　came　down　from

the　pulpit　and　faced　them　on　their　own　level；　look…

ing　them　over　and　mentally　selecting　the　hardest

specimens　of　the　lot　as　the　special　objects　of　my

appeal。　　One　old　fellow；　who　looked　like　a　pirate

with　his　red…rimmed　eyes；　weather…beaten　skin；　and

fimbriated　face；　grinned　up　at　me　in　such　sardonic

challenge　that　I　walked　directly　in　front　of　him　and

began　to　speak。　　I　said：



‘‘My　friends；　I　hope　you　will　forget　everything

Dr。　Blank　has　just　said。　　It　is　true　that　I　am　a

minister；　and　that　I　came　here　to　preach。　　But