远大前程-第4节

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‘　Now，boy！What　was　she　doing　when　you　arrived？’

‘She　was　sitting　in　a　black　carriage，’I　replied．

Mr　Pumblechook　and　Mrs　Joe　stared　at　each　other．‘In　a　black　carriage？’they　repeated．

‘Yes，’I　said，becoming　more　confident．‘And　Miss　Estella，her　niece，I　think，handed　in　gold　plates　with　cake　and　wine　through　the　windows．

‘Was　anybody　else　there？’asked　Mr　Pumblechook．

‘Four　dogs，huge　ones．They　ate　meat　out　of　a　silver　basket．’

‘Where　was　this　carriage，boy？’

‘In　her　room．But　there　weren't　any　horses．’

‘Can　this　be　possible，uncle？’asked　Mrs　Joe．

‘She's　a　strange　woman，madam．It's　quite　possible．What　did　you　play　at，boy？’

We　played　with　flags，’I　answered．What　lies　I　was　telling！‘Estella　waved　a　blue　one，and　I　had　a　red　one，and　Miss　Havisham　waved　one　with　little　gold　stars　on，out　of　the　carriage　window．’

Fortunately　they　asked　no　more　questions，and　were　still　discussing　the　wonderful　things　I　had　seen，when　Joe　came　in　from　the　forge．When　I　saw　his　blue　eyes　open　wide　in　surprise，I　felt　very　sorry　I　had　lied，and　that　evening，as　soon　as　I　found　Joe　alone　for　a　moment，I　confessed　to　him　that　I　had　lied　about　my　visit　to　Miss　Havisham．

‘Is　none　of　it　true，Pip？’he　asked，shocked．‘No　black　carriage　？　But　at　least　there　were　dogs，　weren't　there，Pip？No？Not　even　one　dog？’

‘No，Joe，I'm　sorry．’

‘Pip，old　boy！’His　kind　face　looked　very　unhappy．‘If　you　tell　lies，where　do　you　think　you'll　go　when　you　die？’

‘I　know，Joe，it's　terrible．I　don't　know　what　happened．Oh　I　wish　I　didn't　have　such　thick　boots　and　such　coarse　hands！I'm　so　miserable，Joe．That　beautiful　young　lady　at　Miss　Havisham's　said　I　was　common．And　I　know　I　am！Somehow　that　made　me　tell　lies．’　‘One　thing　to　remember，Pip，’　said　Joe，lighting　his　pipe　slowly，‘is　that　lies　are　always　wrong．You　can't　stop　being　common　by　telling　lies．That's　not　the　way　to　do　it．And　you're　learning　all　the　time，Pip！Look　at　that　letter　you　wrote　me　last　night！Even　the　King　had　to　start　learning　at　the　beginning；　didn't　he？That　reminds　me，any　flags　at　Miss　Havisham's？No？That's　a　pity．Look　here，Pip，this　is　a　true　friend　speaking　to　you．Take　my　advice．No　more　lies，live　well；　and　die　happy。’

Encouraged　by　Joe's　honest　words　I　went　to　bed，but　I　couldn't　stop　myself　thinking　that　Estella　would　consider　Joe's　boots　too　thick　and　his　hands　too　coarse，and　our　whole　family　common．That　was　a　day　I　shall　never　forget．

　　



　


4　　A　present　from　a　stranger

　　

I　desperately　wanted　to　be　accepted　by　Estella．I　realized　I　could　never　become　well…educated　just　by　attending　old　Mrs　Wopsle's　evening　school，so　I　asked　Mr　Wopsle's　cousin　Biddy　to　teach　me　everything　she　knew．She　helped　me　as　much　as　she　could，but　I　knew　it　would　take　a　long　time　to　reach　Estella's　level．

One　evening　I　went　to　fetch　Joe　from　the　village　pub；　where　my　sister　sometimes　allowed　him　to　smoke　his　pipe　and　have　a　beer．Mr　Wopsle　and　Joe　were　sitting　with　a　stranger，a　man　I'd　never　seen　before．One　of　his　eyes　was　half　closed；and　he　wore　a　big　hat　which　covered　most　of　his　head．He　suddenly　looked　interested　when　I　arrived，and　rubbed　his　leg　in　a　rather　strange　way．He　had　just　ordered　hot　rum　for　the　three　of　them．

‘It'　s　lonely　country　round　here，gentlemen，’he　said．‘Yes，’said　Joe，‘just　marshes　down　to　the　river．’

Do　people　ever　spend　the　night　on　the　marshes？’

‘No，’‘replied　Joe，‘except　an　escaped　prisoner　sometimes．Difficult　to　find，they　are．Went　out　to　look　for　one　once，me，and　Mr　Wopsle，and　young　Pip　here．Didn't　we，Pip？’

‘Yes，Joe。’

The　stranger　looked　at　me　with　his　good　eye．

‘What's　his　name？Pip？Your　son，is　he？’

‘The　boy　is　the　blacksmith's　wife's　brother，’explained　Mr　Wopsle　in　his　official　church　clerk's　voice．

When　the　drinks　arrived，the　stranger　did　something　that　he　wanted　nobody　to　see　except　me。　He　mixed　his　hot　rum　and　water，not　with　a　spoon，but　with　a　file，which　he　put　back　in　his　pocket　when　he　had　finished．As　soon　as　I　saw　the　file，I　knew　it　was　the　one　I　had　stolen　from　Joe，and　I　knew　that　this　man　knew　my　convict。　I　stared　at　him　in　horror。

The　men　continued　their　conversation　in　a　friendly　way　until　Joe　stood　up　to　leave，and　took　my　hand．

‘Wait　a　moment，'I　said　the　stranger．‘I'd　like　to　give　the　boy　something，'and　wrapping　a　coin　in　some　old　paper　from　his　pocket，handed　it　to　me。　‘That'　s　yours！he　told　me，giving　me　a　look　full　of　meaning　。

‘Thank　you，sir，'I　said，still　staring　at　him．Together　Joe　and　I　walked　home，Joe　with　his　mouth　open　all　the　way　so　that　my　sister　would　not　notice　the　smell　of　rum　on　his　breath　。

But　when　we　arrived　home，we　found　the　stranger　had　giv…en　me　two　Pound　notes　as　well　as　the　coin．My　sister　thought　it　must　have　been　a　mistake，and　kept　the　pound　notes　in　case　he　came　back　for　them．But　I　knew　they　came　from　my　con－vict，and　I　felt　that　having　criminal　friends　made　me　more　common　than　ever。

The　next　time　I　went　to　Miss　Havisham's，I　was　shown　in－to　a　different　room　to　wait。　Several　ladies　and　gentlemen，relations　of　hers，were　there。　They　all　turned　and　looked　at　me　in　disgust　when　I　was　the　first　to　be　called　by　Estella．

As　Estella　was　leading　me　along　the　dark　passages，she　stopped　suddenly　and　put　her　face　close　to　mine．

‘Look　at　me，boy！Am　I　pretty？'

‘Yes，I　think　you're　very　pretty．'

‘Am　I　rude　to　you？'

‘Not　as　much　as　last　time．'

She　hit　my　face　as　hard　as　she　could。

‘Now，you　coarse　little　boy，what　do　you　think　of　me？’

‘I　won't　tell　you．’

‘Why　don't　you　cry　again，you　fool？'

‘Because　I'll　never　cry　for　you　again，'I　said，which　was　a　very　false　promise，because　I　was　crying　inside　at　the　time，and　only　I　know　how　much　I　cried　for　her　later．

On　our　way　upstairs　we　met　a　gentleman　coming　down　in　the　dark．He　was　a　large，heavy　man，with　a　very　dark　skin，sharp　eyes，and　a　huge　head，almost　bald　on　the　top．His　hands　smelt　strongly　of　perfumed　soap．I　didn't　know　then　how　important　he　would　ha　later　on　in　my　life。　‘Who's　this？’he　asked　Estella，stopping　to　look　at　me。　‘A　local　boy。　Miss　Havisham　sent　for　him，'she　replied．　‘Well，in　my　experience　most　boys　are　bad，'he　said　to　me。‘Behave　yourself！'He　bit　the　side　of　his　large　finger　as　he　frowned　at　me，and　then　continued　downstairs。

This　time　Miss　Havisham　was　in　another　room，which　I　had　not　seen　before．All　the　furniture　was　covered　in　dust．In　the　candle－light　I　could　see　a　long　table，in　the　middle　of　which　was　a　large　yellow　shape，with　hundreds　of　insects　feeding　off　it．　

‘This，’said　Miss　Havisham，pointing　to　the　table，‘is　where　they　will　put　me　when　I'm　dead．　I'll　lie　on　the　table，and　my　relations　can　come　and　look　at　me．'　She　put　a　bony　hand　on　my　shoulder，but　I　didn't　want　her　to　touch　me．I　was　afraid　she　would　die　there　and　then．‘And　that，’she　added，pointing　to　the　yellow　shape，‘that　was　my　wedding　cake．Mine！’She　looked　all　round　the　room　angrily．‘Come！’she　said　suddenly．‘Help　me　walk　round　the　room．And　call　Estella！’

I　held　her　arm　to　support　her　as　she　walked．We　were　still　going　slowly　and　painfully　round　the　room　when　Estella　brought　in　the　relations　who　had　been　waiting　downstairs．They　stood　watching　us　at　the　door．I　thought　they　blamed　me　for　Miss　Havisham's　cold　manner　towards　them．

‘Dear　Miss　Havisham！’said　one　of　the　ladies　lovingly．‘How　well　you　look！’

‘I　do　not，’replied　Miss　Havisham　sharply．‘I　am　yellow　skin　and　bone．'

‘How　could　Miss　Havisham　look　well，after　all　her　suffer－ing？’said　a　second　lady　quickly．‘　Impossible！What　a　silly　idea！’

‘　And　how　are　you？’Miss　Havisham　asked　this　lady．As　we　were　close　to　her　then，I　would　have　stopped，but　Miss　Havisham　insisted　on　walking　past　。It　seemed　rather　rude．

‘Not　well　at　all，'said　this　lady　sadly。‘I　don't　want　to　talk　too　much　about　my　feelings，but－well－I　often　lie　awake　at　night　thinking　of　you，dear　Miss　Havisham！'

‘Well，don't！’said　Miss　Havisham　crossly　as　we　hurried　past　the　little　group　again。

‘I'm　afraid　I　can't　stop　myself．I　often　wish　I　were　less　sensitive　and　loving　。　But　that's　my　character　and　I　have　to　live　with　it！'And　she　started　crying　softly．‘Look　at　Matthew　now！’she　added，through　her　tears。‘Matthew　never　comes　to　see　dear　Miss　Havisham　。But　I…’

When　she　heard　Matthew's　name，Miss　Havisham　stopped　walking　and　stood　looking　at　the　speaker，who　suddenly　became　silent。　‘Matthew　will　come　in　the　end，'said　Miss　Havisham　firmly，‘when　I　die　and　am　laid　on　that　table。　You　will　stand　around　and　look　at　me，you　here，you　there，you　next　to　her，you　two　there　Now　you　know　where　to　stand．And　now　go！'

The　ladies　and　gentlemen　went　slowly　out　of　the　room，some　protesting　quietly　that　they　had　not　seen　enough　of　their　dear　relation。　When　they　had　all　gone，Miss　Havisham　said　to　me，

‘This　is　my　birthday，Pip．I　don't　allow　anyone　to　speak　of　it．My　relations　always　come　on　this　day　once　a　year．This　day，long　before　you　were　born，was　my　wedding　day　。Pehaps　I　shall　die　on　this　day　too．And　when　they　l