the night-born-第2节

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the　pages　of　Thoreau　or　of　any　other　man's　book。



〃I　stayed　on　there　a　week。　It　was　on　her　invitation。　She

promised　to　fit　me　out　with　dogs　and　sleds　and　with　Indians

that　would　put　me　across　the　best　pass　of　the　Rockies　in　five

hundred　miles。　Her　fly　was　pitched　apart　from　the　others；　on

the　high　bank　by　the　river；　and　a　couple　of　Indian　girls　did

her　cooking　for　her　and　the　camp　work。　And　so　we　talked　and

talked；　while　the　first　snow　fell　and　continued　to　fall　and

make　a　surface　for　my　sleds。　And　this　was　her　story。



〃She　was　frontier…born；　of　poor　settlers；　and　you　know　what

that　meanswork；　work；　always　work；　work　in　plenty　and　without

end。



〃'I　never　seen　the　glory　of　the　world；'　she　said。　'I　had　no

time。　I　knew　it　was　right　out　there；　anywhere；　all　around　the

cabin；　but　there　was　always　the　bread　to　set；　the　scrubbin'　and

the　washin'　and　the　work　that　was　never　done。　I　used　to　be

plumb　sick　at　times；　jes'　to　get　out　into　it　all；　especially　in

the　spring　when　the　songs　of　the　birds　drove　me　most　clean

crazy。　I　wanted　to　run　out　through　the　long　pasture　grass；

wetting　my　legs　with　the　dew　of　it；　and　to　climb　the　rail

fence；　and　keep　on　through　the　timber　and　up　and　up　over　the

divide　so　as　to　get　a　look　around。　Oh；　I　had　all　kinds　of

hankeringsto　follow　up　the　canyon　beds　and　slosh　around　from

pool　to　pool；　making　friends　with　the　water…dogs　and　the

speckly　trout；　to　peep　on　the　sly　and　watch　the　squirrels　and

rabbits　and　small　furry　things　and　see　what　they　was　doing　and

learn　the　secrets　of　their　ways。　Seemed　to　me；　if　I　had　time；　I

could　crawl　among　the　flowers；　and；　if　I　was　good　and　quiet；

catch　them　whispering　with　themselves；　telling　all　kinds　of

wise　things　that　mere　humans　never　know。'〃



Trefethan　paused　to　see　that　his　glass　had　been　refilled。



〃Another　time　she　said：　'I　wanted　to　run　nights　like　a　wild

thing；　just　to　run　through　the　moonshine　and　under　the　stars；

to　run　white　and　naked　in　the　darkness　that　I　knew　must　feel

like　cool　velvet；　and　to　run　and　run　and　keep　on　running。　One

evening；　plumb　tuckered　outit　had　been　a　dreadful　hard　hot

day；　and　the　bread　wouldn't　raise　and　the　churning　had　gone

wrong；　and　I　was　all　irritated　and　jerkywell；　that　evening　I

made　mention　to　dad　of　this　wanting　to　run　of　mine。　He　looked

at　me　curious…some　and　a　bit　scared。　And　then　he　gave　me　two

pills　to　take。　Said　to　go　to　bed　and　get　a　good　sleep　and　I'd

be　all　hunky…dory　in　the　morning。　So　I　never　mentioned　my

hankerings　to　him；　or　any　one　any　more。'



〃The　mountain　home　broke　upstarved　out；　I　imagineand　the

family　came　to　Seattle　to　live。　There　she　worked　in　a

factorylong　hours；　you　know；　and　all　the　rest；　deadly　work。

And　after　a　year　of　that　she　became　waitress　in　a　cheap

restauranthash…slinger；　she　called　it。　〃She　said　to　me　once；

'Romance　I　guess　was　what　I　wanted。　But　there　wan't　no　romance

floating　around　in　dishpans　and　washtubs；　or　in　factories　and

hash…joints。'



〃When　she　was　eighteen　she　marrieda　man　who　was　going　up　to

Juneau　to　start　a　restaurant。　He　had　a　few　dollars　saved；　and

appeared　prosperous。　She　didn't　love　himshe　was　emphatic

about　that；　but　she　was　all　tired　out；　and　she　wanted　to　get

away　from　the　unending　drudgery。　Besides；　Juneau　was　in　Alaska；

and　her　yearning　took　the　form　of　a　desire　to　see　that

wonderland。　But　little　she　saw　of　it。　He　started　the

restaurant；　a　little　cheap　one；　and　she　quickly　learned　what　he

had　married　her　for。。。。。　to　save　paying　wages。　She　came　pretty

close　to　running　the　joint　and　doing　all　the　work　from　waiting

to　dishwashing。　She　cooked　most　of　the　time　as　well。　And　she

had　four　years　of　it。



〃Can't　you　picture　her；　this　wild　woods　creature；　quick　with

every　old　primitive　instinct；　yearning　for　the　free　open；　and

mowed　up　in　a　vile　little　hash…joint　and　toiling　and　moiling

for　four　mortal　years？



〃'There　was　no　meaning　in　anything；'　she　said。　'What　was　it　all

about！　Why　was　I　born！　Was　that　all　the　meaning　of　lifejust

to　work　and　work　and　be　always　tired！to　go　to　bed　tired　and

to　wake　up　tired；　with　every　day　like　every　other　day　unless　it

was　harder？'　She　had　heard　talk　of　immortal　life　from　the

gospel　sharps；　she　said；　but　she　could　not　reckon　that　what　she

was　doin'　was　a　likely　preparation　for　her　immortality。



〃But　she　still　had　her　dreams；　though　more　rarely。　She　had　read

a　few　bookswhat；　it　is　pretty　hard　to　imagine；　Seaside

Library　novels　most　likely；　yet　they　had　been　food　for　fancy。

'Sometimes；'　she　said；　'when　I　was　that　dizzy　from　the　heat　of

the　cooking　that　if　I　didn't　take　a　breath　of　fresh　air　I'd

faint；　I'd　stick　my　head　out　of　the　kitchen　window；　and　close

my　eyes　and　see　most　wonderful　things。　All　of　a　sudden　I'd　be

traveling　down　a　country　road；　and　everything　clean　and　quiet；

no　dust；　no　dirt；　just　streams　ripplin'　down　sweet　meadows；　and

lambs　playing；　breezes　blowing　the　breath　of　flowers；　and　soft

sunshine　over　everything；　and　lovely　cows　lazying　knee…deep　in

quiet　pools；　and　young　girls　bathing　in　a　curve　of　stream　all

white　and　slim　and　naturaland　I'd　know　I　was　in　Arcady。　I'd

read　about　that　country　once；　in　a　book。　And　maybe　knights；　all

flashing　in　the　sun；　would　come　riding　around　a　bend　in　the

road；　or　a　lady　on　a　milk…white　mare；　and　in　the　distance　I

could　see　the　towers　of　a　castle　rising；　or　I　just　knew；　on　the

next　turn；　that　I'd　come　upon　some　palace；　all　white　and　airy

and　fairy…like；　with　fountains　playing；　and　flowers　all　over

everything；　and　peacocks　on　the　lawn。。。。。　and　then　I'd　open　my

eyes；　and　the　heat　of　the　cooking　range　would　strike　on　me；　and

I'd　hear　Jake　sayin'he　was　my　husbandI'd　hear　Jake　sayin'；

〃Why　ain't　you　served　them　beans？　Think　I　can　wait　here　all

day！〃　Romance！I　reckon　the　nearest　I　ever　come　to　it　was　when

a　drunken　Armenian　cook　got　the　snakes　and　tried　to　cut　my

throat　with　a　potato　knife　and　I　got　my　arm　burned　on　the　stove

before　I　could　lay　him　out　with　the　potato　stomper。



〃'I　wanted　easy　ways；　and　lovely　things；　and　Romance　and　all

that；　but　it　just　seemed　I　had　no　luck　nohow　and　was　only　and

expressly　born　for　cooking　and　dishwashing。　There　was　a　wild

crowd　in　Juneau　them　days；　but　I　looked　at　the　other　women；　and

their　way　of　life　didn't　excite　me。　I　reckon　I　wanted　to　be

clean。　I　don't　know　why；　I　just　wanted　to；　I　guess；　and　I

reckoned　I　might　as　well　die　dishwashing　as　die　their　way。〃



Trefethan　halted　in　his　tale　for　a　moment；　completing　to

himself　some　thread　of　thought。



〃And　this　is　the　woman　I　met　up　there　in　the　Arctic；　running　a

tribe　of　wild　Indians　and　a　few　thousand　square　miles　of

hunting　territory。　And　it　happened；　simply　enough；　though；　for

that　matter；　she　might　have　lived　and　died　among　the　pots　and

pans。　But　'Came　the　whisper；　came　the　vision。'　That　was　all　she

needed；　and　she　got　it。



〃'I　woke　up　one　day；'　she　said。　'Just　happened　on　it　in　a　scrap

of　newspaper。　I　remember　every　word　of　it；　and　I　can　give　it　to

you。'　And　then　she　quoted　Thoreau's　Cry　of　the　Human：



〃'The　young　pines　springing　up；　in　the　corn　field　from　year　to

year　are　to　me　a　refreshing　fact。　We　talk　of　civilizing　the

Indian；　but　that　is　not　the　name　for　his　improvement。　By　the

wary　independence　and　aloofness　of　his　dim　forest　life　he

preserves　his　intercourse　with　his　native　gods　and　is　admitted

from　time　to　time　to　a　rare　and　peculiar　society　with　nature。

He　has　glances　of　starry　recognition；　to　which　our　saloons　are

strangers。　The　steady　illumination　of　his　qenius；　dim　only

because　distant；　is　like　the　faint　but　satisfying　light　of　the

stars　compared　with　the　dazzling　but　ineffectual　and

short…lived　blaze　of　candles。　The　Society　Islanders　had　their

day…born　gods；　but　they　were　not　supposed　to　be　of　equal

antiquity　with　the。。。。。　night…born　gods。'



〃That's　what　she　did；　repeated　it　word　for　word；　and　I　forgot

the　tang；　for　it　was　solemn；　a　declaration　of　religionpagan；

if　you　will；　and　clothed　in　the　living　garmenture　of　herself。



〃'And　the　rest　of　it　was　torn　away；'　she　added；　a　great

emptiness　in　her　voice。　'It　was　only　a　scrap　of　newspaper。　But

that　Thoreau　was　a　wise　man。　I　wish　I　knew　more　about　him。'　She

stopped　a　moment；　and　I　swear　her　face　was　ineffably　holy　as

she　said；　'I　could　have　made　him　a　good　wife。'



〃And　then　she　went　on。　'I　knew　right　away；　as　soon　as　I　read

that；　what　was　the　matter　with　me。　I　was　a　night…born。　I；　who

had　lived　all　my　life　with　the　day…born；　was　a　night…born。　That

was　why　I　had　never　been　satisfied　with　cooking　and

dishwashing；　that　was　why　I　had　hankered　to　run　naked　in　the

moonlight。　And　I　knew　that　this　dirty　little　Juneau　hash…joint

was　no　place　for　me。　And　right　there　and　then　I　said；　〃I　quit。〃

I　packed　up　my　few　rags　of　clothes；　and　started。　Jake　saw　me

and　tried　to　stop　me。



〃'What　you　doing？〃　he　says。



〃'Divorcin'　you　and　me；'　I　says。　'I'm　headin'　for　tall　timber

and　where　I　bel