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第35节

lay morals-第35节

小说: lay morals 字数: 每页4000字

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m or given away to a poor child; and the act  applauded for its unfeeling charity。  Little wonder if she  becomes hurt and angry; and attempts to tyrannise and to  grasp her old power back again。  We are not all patient  Grizzels; by good fortune; but the most of us human beings  with feelings and tempers of our own。

And so; in the end; behold her in the room that I described。   Very likely and very naturally; in some fling of feverish  misery or recoil of thwarted love; she has quarrelled with  her old employers and the children are forbidden to see her  or to speak to her; or at best she gets her rent paid and a  little to herself; and now and then her late charges are sent  up (with another nurse; perhaps) to pay her a short visit。   How bright these visits seem as she looks forward to them on  her lonely bed!  How unsatisfactory their realisation; when  the forgetful child; half wondering; checks with every word  and action the outpouring of her maternal love!  How bitter  and restless the memories that they leave behind!  And for  the rest; what else has she? … to watch them with eager eyes  as they go to school; to sit in church where she can see them  every Sunday; to be passed some day unnoticed in the street;  or deliberately cut because the great man or the great woman  are with friends before whom they are ashamed to recognise  the old woman that loved them。

When she goes home that night; how lonely will the room  appear to her!  Perhaps the neighbours may hear her sobbing  to herself in the dark; with the fire burnt out for want of  fuel; and the candle still unlit upon the table。

And it is for this that they live; these quasi…mothers …  mothers in everything but the travail and the thanks。  It is  for this that they have remained virtuous in youth; living  the dull life of a household servant。  It is for this that  they refused the old sweetheart; and have no fireside or  offspring of their own。

I believe in a better state of things; that there will be no  more nurses; and that every mother will nurse her own  offspring; for what can be more hardening and demoralising  than to call forth the tenderest feelings of a woman's heart  and cherish them yourself as long as you need them; as long  as your children require a nurse to love them; and then to  blight and thwart and destroy them; whenever your own use for  them is at an end。  This may be Utopian; but it is always a  little thing if one mother or two mothers can be brought to  feel more tenderly to those who share their toil and have no  part in their reward。



SKETCHES CHAPTER V … A CHARACTER



THE man has a red; bloated face; and his figure is short and  squat。  So far there is nothing in him to notice; but when  you see his eyes; you can read in these hard and shallow orbs  a depravity beyond measure depraved; a thirst after  wickedness; the pure; disinterested love of Hell for its own  sake。  The other night; in the street; I was watching an  omnibus passing with lit…up windows; when I heard some one  coughing at my side as though he would cough his soul out;  and turning round; I saw him stopping under a lamp; with a  brown greatcoat buttoned round him and his whole face  convulsed。  It seemed as if he could not live long; and so  the sight set my mind upon a train of thought; as I finished  my cigar up and down the lighted streets。

He is old; but all these years have not yet quenched his  thirst for evil; and his eyes still delight themselves in  wickedness。  He is dumb; but he will not let that hinder his  foul trade; or perhaps I should say; his yet fouler  amusement; and he has pressed a slate into the service of  corruption。  Look at him; and he will sign to you with his  bloated head; and when you go to him in answer to the sign;  thinking perhaps that the poor dumb man has lost his way; you  will see what he writes upon his slate。  He haunts the doors  of schools; and shows such inscriptions as these to the  innocent children that come out。  He hangs about picture… galleries; and makes the noblest pictures the text for some  silent homily of vice。  His industry is a lesson to  ourselves。  Is it not wonderful how he can triumph over his  infirmities and do such an amount of harm without a tongue?   Wonderful industry … strange; fruitless; pleasureless toil?   Must not the very devil feel a soft emotion to see his  disinterested and laborious service?  Ah; but the devil knows  better than this: he knows that this man is penetrated with  the love of evil and that all his pleasure is shut up in  wickedness: he recognises him; perhaps; as a fit type for  mankind of his satanic self; and watches over his effigy as  we might watch over a favourite likeness。  As the business  man comes to love the toil; which he only looked upon at  first as a ladder towards other desires and less unnatural  gratifications; so the dumb man has felt the charm of his  trade and fallen captivated before the eyes of sin。  It is a  mistake when preachers tell us that vice is hideous and  loathsome; for even vice has her Horsel and her devotees; who  love her for her own sake。



THE GREAT NORTH ROAD CHAPTER I … NANCE AT THE 'GREEN DRAGON'



NANCE HOLDAWAY was on her knees before the fire blowing the  green wood that voluminously smoked upon the dogs; and only  now and then shot forth a smothered flame; her knees already  ached and her eyes smarted; for she had been some while at  this ungrateful task; but her mind was gone far away to meet  the coming stranger。  Now she met him in the wood; now at the  castle gate; now in the kitchen by candle…light; each fresh  presentment eclipsed the one before; a form so elegant;  manners so sedate; a countenance so brave and comely; a voice  so winning and resolute … sure such a man was never seen!   The thick…coming fancies poured and brightened in her head  like the smoke and flames upon the hearth。

Presently the heavy foot of her uncle Jonathan was heard upon  the stair; and as he entered the room she bent the closer to  her work。  He glanced at the green fagots with a sneer; and  looked askance at the bed and the white sheets; at the strip  of carpet laid; like an island; on the great expanse of the  stone floor; and at the broken glazing of the casement  clumsily repaired with paper。

'Leave that fire a…be;' he cried。  'What; have I toiled all  my life to turn innkeeper at the hind end?  Leave it a…be; I  say。'

'La; uncle; it doesn't burn a bit; it only smokes;' said  Nance; looking up from her position。

'You are come of decent people on both sides;' returned the  old man。  'Who are you to blow the coals for any Robin…run… agate?  Get up; get on your hood; make yourself useful; and  be off to the 〃Green Dragon。〃'

'I thought you was to go yourself;' Nance faltered。

'So did I;' quoth Jonathan; 'but it appears I was mistook。'

The very excess of her eagerness alarmed her; and she began  to hang back。  'I think I would rather not; dear uncle;' she  said。  'Night is at hand; and I think; dear; I would rather  not。'

'Now you look here;' replied Jonathan; 'I have my lord's  orders; have I not?  Little he gives me; but it's all my  livelihood。  And do you fancy; if I disobey my lord; I'm  likely to turn round for a lass like you?  No; I've that  hell…fire of pain in my old knee; I wouldn't walk a mile; not  for King George upon his bended knees。'  And he walked to the  window and looked down the steep scarp to where the river  foamed in the bottom of the dell。

Nance stayed for no more bidding。  In her own room; by the  glimmer of the twilight; she washed her hands and pulled on  her Sunday mittens; adjusted her black hood; and tied a dozen  times its cherry ribbons; and in less than ten minutes; with  a fluttering heart and excellently bright eyes; she passed  forth under the arch and over the bridge; into the thickening  shadows of the groves。  A well…marked wheel…track conducted  her。  The wood; which upon both sides of the river dell was a  mere scrambling thicket of hazel; hawthorn; and holly;  boasted on the level of more considerable timber。  Beeches  came to a good growth; with here and there an oak; and the  track now passed under a high arcade of branches; and now ran  under the open sky in glades。  As the girl proceeded these  glades became more frequent; the trees began again to decline  in size; and the wood to degenerate into furzy coverts。  Last  of all there was a fringe of elders; and beyond that the  track came forth upon an open; rolling moorland; dotted with  wind…bowed and scanty bushes; and all golden brown with the  winter; like a grouse。  Right over against the girl the last  red embers of the sunset burned under horizontal clouds; the  night fell clear and still and frosty; and the track in low  and marshy passages began to crackle under foot with ice。

Some half a mile beyond the borders of the wood the lights of  the 'Green Dragon' hove in sight; and running close beside  them; very faint in the dying dusk; the pale ribbon of the  Great North Road。  It was the back of the post…house that was  presented to Nance Holdaway; and as she continued to draw  near and the night to fall more completely; she became aware  of an unusual brightness and bustle。  A post…chaise stood i

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