lay morals-第35节
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m or given away to a poor child； and the act applauded for its unfeeling charity。 Little wonder if she becomes hurt and angry； and attempts to tyrannise and to grasp her old power back again。 We are not all patient Grizzels； by good fortune； but the most of us human beings with feelings and tempers of our own。
And so； in the end； behold her in the room that I described。 Very likely and very naturally； in some fling of feverish misery or recoil of thwarted love； she has quarrelled with her old employers and the children are forbidden to see her or to speak to her； or at best she gets her rent paid and a little to herself； and now and then her late charges are sent up （with another nurse； perhaps） to pay her a short visit。 How bright these visits seem as she looks forward to them on her lonely bed！ How unsatisfactory their realisation； when the forgetful child； half wondering； checks with every word and action the outpouring of her maternal love！ How bitter and restless the memories that they leave behind！ And for the rest； what else has she？ … to watch them with eager eyes as they go to school； to sit in church where she can see them every Sunday； to be passed some day unnoticed in the street； or deliberately cut because the great man or the great woman are with friends before whom they are ashamed to recognise the old woman that loved them。
When she goes home that night； how lonely will the room appear to her！ Perhaps the neighbours may hear her sobbing to herself in the dark； with the fire burnt out for want of fuel； and the candle still unlit upon the table。
And it is for this that they live； these quasi…mothers … mothers in everything but the travail and the thanks。 It is for this that they have remained virtuous in youth； living the dull life of a household servant。 It is for this that they refused the old sweetheart； and have no fireside or offspring of their own。
I believe in a better state of things； that there will be no more nurses； and that every mother will nurse her own offspring； for what can be more hardening and demoralising than to call forth the tenderest feelings of a woman's heart and cherish them yourself as long as you need them； as long as your children require a nurse to love them； and then to blight and thwart and destroy them； whenever your own use for them is at an end。 This may be Utopian； but it is always a little thing if one mother or two mothers can be brought to feel more tenderly to those who share their toil and have no part in their reward。
SKETCHES CHAPTER V … A CHARACTER
THE man has a red； bloated face； and his figure is short and squat。 So far there is nothing in him to notice； but when you see his eyes； you can read in these hard and shallow orbs a depravity beyond measure depraved； a thirst after wickedness； the pure； disinterested love of Hell for its own sake。 The other night； in the street； I was watching an omnibus passing with lit…up windows； when I heard some one coughing at my side as though he would cough his soul out； and turning round； I saw him stopping under a lamp； with a brown greatcoat buttoned round him and his whole face convulsed。 It seemed as if he could not live long； and so the sight set my mind upon a train of thought； as I finished my cigar up and down the lighted streets。
He is old； but all these years have not yet quenched his thirst for evil； and his eyes still delight themselves in wickedness。 He is dumb； but he will not let that hinder his foul trade； or perhaps I should say； his yet fouler amusement； and he has pressed a slate into the service of corruption。 Look at him； and he will sign to you with his bloated head； and when you go to him in answer to the sign； thinking perhaps that the poor dumb man has lost his way； you will see what he writes upon his slate。 He haunts the doors of schools； and shows such inscriptions as these to the innocent children that come out。 He hangs about picture… galleries； and makes the noblest pictures the text for some silent homily of vice。 His industry is a lesson to ourselves。 Is it not wonderful how he can triumph over his infirmities and do such an amount of harm without a tongue？ Wonderful industry … strange； fruitless； pleasureless toil？ Must not the very devil feel a soft emotion to see his disinterested and laborious service？ Ah； but the devil knows better than this： he knows that this man is penetrated with the love of evil and that all his pleasure is shut up in wickedness： he recognises him； perhaps； as a fit type for mankind of his satanic self； and watches over his effigy as we might watch over a favourite likeness。 As the business man comes to love the toil； which he only looked upon at first as a ladder towards other desires and less unnatural gratifications； so the dumb man has felt the charm of his trade and fallen captivated before the eyes of sin。 It is a mistake when preachers tell us that vice is hideous and loathsome； for even vice has her Horsel and her devotees； who love her for her own sake。
THE GREAT NORTH ROAD CHAPTER I … NANCE AT THE 'GREEN DRAGON'
NANCE HOLDAWAY was on her knees before the fire blowing the green wood that voluminously smoked upon the dogs； and only now and then shot forth a smothered flame； her knees already ached and her eyes smarted； for she had been some while at this ungrateful task； but her mind was gone far away to meet the coming stranger。 Now she met him in the wood； now at the castle gate； now in the kitchen by candle…light； each fresh presentment eclipsed the one before； a form so elegant； manners so sedate； a countenance so brave and comely； a voice so winning and resolute … sure such a man was never seen！ The thick…coming fancies poured and brightened in her head like the smoke and flames upon the hearth。
Presently the heavy foot of her uncle Jonathan was heard upon the stair； and as he entered the room she bent the closer to her work。 He glanced at the green fagots with a sneer； and looked askance at the bed and the white sheets； at the strip of carpet laid； like an island； on the great expanse of the stone floor； and at the broken glazing of the casement clumsily repaired with paper。
'Leave that fire a…be；' he cried。 'What； have I toiled all my life to turn innkeeper at the hind end？ Leave it a…be； I say。'
'La； uncle； it doesn't burn a bit； it only smokes；' said Nance； looking up from her position。
'You are come of decent people on both sides；' returned the old man。 'Who are you to blow the coals for any Robin…run… agate？ Get up； get on your hood； make yourself useful； and be off to the 〃Green Dragon。〃'
'I thought you was to go yourself；' Nance faltered。
'So did I；' quoth Jonathan； 'but it appears I was mistook。'
The very excess of her eagerness alarmed her； and she began to hang back。 'I think I would rather not； dear uncle；' she said。 'Night is at hand； and I think； dear； I would rather not。'
'Now you look here；' replied Jonathan； 'I have my lord's orders； have I not？ Little he gives me； but it's all my livelihood。 And do you fancy； if I disobey my lord； I'm likely to turn round for a lass like you？ No； I've that hell…fire of pain in my old knee； I wouldn't walk a mile； not for King George upon his bended knees。' And he walked to the window and looked down the steep scarp to where the river foamed in the bottom of the dell。
Nance stayed for no more bidding。 In her own room； by the glimmer of the twilight； she washed her hands and pulled on her Sunday mittens； adjusted her black hood； and tied a dozen times its cherry ribbons； and in less than ten minutes； with a fluttering heart and excellently bright eyes； she passed forth under the arch and over the bridge； into the thickening shadows of the groves。 A well…marked wheel…track conducted her。 The wood； which upon both sides of the river dell was a mere scrambling thicket of hazel； hawthorn； and holly； boasted on the level of more considerable timber。 Beeches came to a good growth； with here and there an oak； and the track now passed under a high arcade of branches； and now ran under the open sky in glades。 As the girl proceeded these glades became more frequent； the trees began again to decline in size； and the wood to degenerate into furzy coverts。 Last of all there was a fringe of elders； and beyond that the track came forth upon an open； rolling moorland； dotted with wind…bowed and scanty bushes； and all golden brown with the winter； like a grouse。 Right over against the girl the last red embers of the sunset burned under horizontal clouds； the night fell clear and still and frosty； and the track in low and marshy passages began to crackle under foot with ice。
Some half a mile beyond the borders of the wood the lights of the 'Green Dragon' hove in sight； and running close beside them； very faint in the dying dusk； the pale ribbon of the Great North Road。 It was the back of the post…house that was presented to Nance Holdaway； and as she continued to draw near and the night to fall more completely； she became aware of an unusual brightness and bustle。 A post…chaise stood i
