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第13节

lay morals-第13节

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  Had you gone on; had  you found every fourth face a blot upon the landscape; had  you visited the hospital and seen the butt…ends of human  beings lying there almost unrecognisable; but still  breathing; still thinking; still remembering; you would have  understood that life in the lazaretto is an ordeal from which  the nerves of a man's spirit shrink; even as his eye quails  under the brightness of the sun; you would have felt it was  (even to…day) a pitiful place to visit and a hell to dwell  in。  It is not the fear of possible infection。  That seems a  little thing when compared with the pain; the pity; and the  disgust of the visitor's surroundings; and the atmosphere of  affliction; disease; and physical disgrace in which he  breathes。  I do not think I am a man more than usually timid;  but I never recall the days and nights I spent upon that  island promontory (eight days and seven nights); without  heartfelt thankfulness that I am somewhere else。  I find in  my diary that I speak of my stay as a 'grinding experience':  I have once jotted in the margin; 'HARROWING is the word';  and when the MOKOLII bore me at last towards the outer world;  I kept repeating to myself; with a new conception of their  pregnancy; those simple words of the song …


''Tis the most distressful country that ever yet was seen。'


And observe: that which I saw and suffered from was a  settlement purged; bettered; beautified; the new village  built; the hospital and the Bishop…Home excellently arranged;  the sisters; the doctor; and the missionaries; all  indefatigable in their noble tasks。  It was a different place  when Damien came there and made his great renunciation; and  slept that first night under a tree amidst his rotting  brethren: alone with pestilence; and looking forward (with  what courage; with what pitiful sinkings of dread; God only  knows) to a lifetime of dressing sores and stumps。

You will say; perhaps; I am too sensitive; that sights as  painful abound in cancer hospitals and are confronted daily  by doctors and nurses。  I have long learned to admire and  envy the doctors and the nurses。  But there is no cancer  hospital so large and populous as Kalawao and Kalaupapa; and  in such a matter every fresh case; like every inch of length  in the pipe of an organ; deepens the note of the impression;  for what daunts the onlooker is that monstrous sum of human  suffering by which he stands surrounded。  Lastly; no doctor  or nurse is called upon to enter once for all the doors of  that gehenna; they do not say farewell; they need not abandon  hope; on its sad threshold; they but go for a time to their  high calling; and can look forward as they go to relief; to  recreation; and to rest。  But Damien shut…to with his own  hand the doors of his own sepulchre。

I shall now extract three passages from my diary at Kalawao。

A。  'Damien is dead and already somewhat ungratefully  remembered in the field of his labours and sufferings。  〃He  was a good man; but very officious;〃 says one。  Another tells  me he had fallen (as other priests so easily do) into  something of the ways and habits of thought of a Kanaka; but  he had the wit to recognise the fact; and the good sense to  laugh at' 'over' 'it。  A plain man it seems he was; I cannot  find he was a popular。'

B。  'After Ragsdale's death' 'Ragsdale was a famous Luna; or  overseer; of the unruly settlement' 'there followed a brief  term of office by Father Damien which served only to publish  the weakness of that noble man。  He was rough in his ways;  and he had no control。  Authority was relaxed; Damien's life  was threatened; and he was soon eager to resign。'

C。  'Of Damien I begin to have an idea。  He seems to have  been a man of the peasant class; certainly of the peasant  type: shrewd; ignorant and bigoted; yet with an open mind;  and capable of receiving and digesting a reproof if it were  bluntly administered; superbly generous in the least thing as  well as in the greatest; and as ready to give his last shirt  (although not without human grumbling) as he had been to  sacrifice his life; essentially indiscreet and officious;  which made him a troublesome colleague; domineering in all  his ways; which made him incurably unpopular with the  Kanakas; but yet destitute of real authority; so that his  boys laughed at him and he must carry out his wishes by the  means of bribes。  He learned to have a mania for doctoring;  and set up the Kanakas against the remedies of his regular  rivals: perhaps (if anything matter at all in the treatment  of such a disease) the worst thing that he did; and certainly  the easiest。  The best and worst of the man appear very  plainly in his dealings with Mr。 Chapman's money; he had  originally laid it out' 'intended to lay it out' 'entirely  for the benefit of Catholics; and even so not wisely; but  after a long; plain talk; he admitted his error fully and  revised the list。  The sad state of the boys' home is in part  the result of his lack of control; in part; of his own  slovenly ways and false ideas of hygiene。  Brother officials  used to call it 〃Damien's Chinatown。〃  〃Well;〃 they would  say; 〃your China…town keeps growing。〃  And he would laugh  with perfect good…nature; and adhere to his errors with  perfect obstinacy。  So much I have gathered of truth about  this plain; noble human brother and father of ours; his  imperfections are the traits of his face; by which we know  him for our fellow; his martyrdom and his example nothing can  lessen or annul; and only a person here on the spot can  properly appreciate their greatness。'

I have set down these private passages; as you perceive;  without correction; thanks to you; the public has them in  their bluntness。  They are almost a list of the man's faults;  for it is rather these that I was seeking: with his virtues;  with the heroic profile of his life; I and the world were  already sufficiently acquainted。  I was besides a little  suspicious of Catholic testimony; in no ill sense; but merely  because Damien's admirers and disciples were the least likely  to be critical。  I know you will be more suspicious still;  and the facts set down above were one and all collected from  the lips of Protestants who had opposed the father in his  life。  Yet I am strangely deceived; or they build up the  image of a man; with all his weaknesses; essentially heroic;  and alive with rugged honesty; generosity; and mirth。

Take it for what it is; rough private jottings of the worst  sides of Damien's character; collected from the lips of those  who had laboured with and (in your own phrase) 'knew the  man'; … though I question whether Damien would have said that  he knew you。  Take it; and observe with wonder how well you  were served by your gossips; how ill by your intelligence and  sympathy; in how many points of fact we are at one; and how  widely our appreciations vary。  There is something wrong  here; either with you or me。  It is possible; for instance;  that you; who seem to have so many ears in Kalawao; had heard  of the affair of Mr。 Chapman's money; and were singly struck  by Damien's intended wrong…doing。  I was struck with that  also; and set it fairly down; but I was struck much more by  the fact that he had the honesty of mind to be convinced。  I  may here tell you that it was a long business; that one of  his colleagues sat with him late into the night; multiplying  arguments and accusations; that the father listened as usual  with 'perfect good…nature and perfect obstinacy'; but at the  last; when he was persuaded … 'Yes;' said he; 'I am very much  obliged to you; you have done me a service; it would have  been a theft。'  There are many (not Catholics merely) who  require their heroes and saints to be infallible; to these  the story will be painful; not to the true lovers; patrons;  and servants of mankind。

And I take it; this is a type of our division; that you are  one of those who have an eye for faults and failures; that  you take a pleasure to find and publish them; and that;  having found them; you make haste to forget the overvailing  virtues and the real success which had alone introduced them  to your knowledge。  It is a dangerous frame of mind。  That  you may understand how dangerous; and into what a situation  it has already brought you; we will (if you please) go hand… in…hand through the different phrases of your letter; and  candidly examine each from the point of view of its truth;  its appositeness; and its charity。

Damien was COARSE。

It is very possible。  You make us sorry for the lepers; who  had only a coarse old peasant for their friend and father。   But you; who were so refined; why were you not there; to  cheer them with the lights of culture?  Or may I remind you  that we have some reason to doubt if John the Baptist were  genteel; and in the case of Peter; on whose career you  doubtless dwell approvingly in the pulpit; no doubt at all he  was a 'coarse; headstrong' fisherman!  Yet even in our  Protestant Bibles Peter is called Saint。

Damien was DIRTY。

He was。  Think of the poor lepers annoyed with this dirty  comrade!  But the clean Dr。 Hyde was at his food in a fine  house。

Damien was HEADSTRONG。

I believe you are right again; and I thank God for 

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