charlotte temple(夏洛特·藤布尔)-第24节
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which she was engaged； than listen to the complaints and miseries of
Charlotte。 I will for once oblige you； I will for once follow her to midnight
revels； balls； and scenes of gaiety； for in such was she constantly engaged。
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I have said her person was lovely； let us add that she was surrounded
by splendor and affluence； and he must know but little of the world who
can wonder； （however faulty such a woman's conduct；） at her being
followed by the men； and her company courted by the women： in short
Mrs。 Crayton was the universal favourite： she set the fashions； she was
toasted by all the gentlemen； and copied by all the ladies。
Colonel Crayton was a domestic man。 Could he be happy with such a
woman？ impossible！ Remonstrance was vain： he might as well have
preached to the winds； as endeavour to persuade her from any action；
however ridiculous； on which she had set her mind： in short； after a little
ineffectual struggle； he gave up the attempt； and left her to follow the bent
of her own inclinations： what those were； I think the reader must have seen
enough of her character to form a just idea。 Among the number who paid
their devotions at her shrine； she singled one； a young Ensign of mean
birth； indifferent education； and weak intellects。 How such a man came
into the army； we hardly know to account for； and how he afterwards rose
to posts of honour is likewise strange and wonderful。 But fortune is blind；
and so are those too frequently who have the power of dispensing her
favours： else why do we see fools and knaves at the very top of the wheel；
while patient merit sinks to the extreme of the opposite abyss。 But we may
form a thousand conjectures on this subject； and yet never hit on the right。
Let us therefore endeavour to deserve her smiles； and whether we succeed
or not； we shall feel more innate satisfaction； than thousands of those who
bask in the sunshine of her favour unworthily。 But to return to Mrs。
Crayton： this young man； whom I shall distinguish by the name of
Corydon； was the reigning favourite of her heart。 He escorted her to the
play； danced with her at every ball； and when indisposition prevented her
going out； it was he alone who was permitted to chear the gloomy solitude
to which she was obliged to confine herself。 Did she ever think of poor
Charlotte？ if she did； my dear Miss； it was only to laugh at the poor girl's
want of spirit in consenting to be moped up in the country； while
Montraville was enjoying all the pleasures of a gay； dissipated city。 When
she heard of his marriage； she smiling said； so there's an end of Madam
Charlotte's hopes。 I wonder who will take her now； or what will become of
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the little affected prude？
But as you have lead to the subject； I think we may as well return to
the distressed Charlotte； and not； like the unfeeling Mrs。 Crayton； shut our
hearts to the call of humanity。
CHAPTER XXIX。
WE GO FORWARD AGAIN。
THE strength of Charlotte's constitution combatted against her
disorder； and she began slowly to recover； though she still laboured under
a violent depression of spirits： how must that depression be encreased；
when； upon examining her little store； she found herself reduced to one
solitary guinea； and that during her illness the attendance of an apothecary
and nurse； together with many other unavoidable expences； had involved
her in debt； from which she saw no method of extricating herself。 As to the
faint hope which she had entertained of hearing from and being relieved
by her parents； it now entirely forsook her； for it was above four months
since her letter was dispatched； and she had received no answer： she
therefore imagined that her conduct had either entirely alienated their
affection from her； or broken their hearts； and she must never more hope
to receive their blessing。
Never did any human being wish for death with greater fervency or
with juster cause； yet she had too just a sense of the duties of the Christian
religion to attempt to put a period to her own existence。 〃I have but to be
patient a little longer；〃 she would cry； 〃and nature； fatigued and fainting；
will throw off this heavy load of mortality； and I shall be released from all
my sufferings。 〃
It was one cold stormy day in the latter end of December； as Charlotte
sat by a handful of fire； the low state of her finances not allowing her to
replenish her stock of fuel； and prudence teaching her to be careful of what
she had； when she was surprised by the entrance of a farmer's wife； who；
without much ceremony； seated herself； and began this curious harangue。
〃I'm come to see if as how you can pay your rent； because as how we
hear Captain Montable is gone away； and it's fifty to one if he b'ant killed
afore he comes back again； an then； Miss； or Ma'am； or whatever you may
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be； as I was saying to my husband； where are we to look for our money。 〃
This was a stroke altogether unexpected by Charlotte： she knew so
little of the ways of the world that she had never bestowed a thought on
the payment for the rent of the house； she knew indeed that she owed a
good deal； but this was never reckoned among the others： she was
thunder…struck； she hardly knew what answer to make； yet it was
absolutely necessary that she should say something； and judging of the
gentleness of every female disposition by her own； she thought the best
way to interest the woman in her favour would be to tell her candidly to
what a situation she was reduced； and how little probability there was of
her ever paying any body。
Alas poor Charlotte； how confined was her knowledge of human
nature； or she would have been convinced that the only way to insure the
friendship and assistance of your surrounding acquaintance is to convince
them you do not require it； for when once the petrifying aspect of distress
and penury appear； whose qualities； like Medusa's head； can change to
stone all that look upon it； when once this Gorgon claims acquaintance
with us； the phantom of friendship； that before courted our notice； will
vanish into unsubstantial air； and the whole world before us appear a
barren waste。 Pardon me； ye dear spirits of benevolence； whose benign
smiles and chearful…giving hand have strewed sweet flowers on many a
thorny path through which my wayward fate forced me to pass； think not；
that； in condemning the unfeeling texture of the human heart； I forget the
spring from whence flow an the comforts I enjoy： oh no！ I look up to you
as to bright constellations； gathering new splendours from the surrounding
darkness； but ah！ whilst I adore the benignant rays that cheared and
illumined my heart； I mourn that their influence cannot extend to all the
sons and daughters of affliction。
〃Indeed； Madam；〃 said poor Charlotte in a tremulous accent； 〃I am at a
loss what to do。 Montraville placed me here； and promised to defray all
my expenses： but he has forgot his promise； he has forsaken me； and I
have no friend who has either power or will to relieve me。 Let me hope； as
you see my unhappy situation； your charity〃
〃Charity；〃 cried the woman impatiently interrupting her； 〃charity
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indeed： why； Mistress； charity begins at home； and I have seven children
at home； HONEST； LAWFUL children； and it is my duty to keep them；
and do you think I will give away my property to a nasty； impudent hussey；
to maintain her and her bastard； an I was saying to my husband the other
day what will this world come to； honest women are nothing now…a…days；
while the har
