charlotte temple(夏洛特·藤布尔)-第19节
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him； who； having deprived me of every other comfort； no longer thinks it
worth his while to sooth the heart where he has planted the thorn of never…
ceasing regret。 My daily employment is to think of you and weep； to pray
for your happiness and deplore my own folly： my nights are scarce more
happy； for if by chance I close my weary eyes； and hope some small
forgetfulness of sorrow； some little time to pass in sweet oblivion； fancy；
still waking； wafts me home to you： I see your beloved forms； I kneel and
hear the blessed words of peace and pardon。 Extatic joy pervades my soul；
I reach my arms to catch your dear embraces； the motion chases the
illusive dream； I wake to real misery。 At other times I see my father angry
and frowning； point to horrid caves； where； on the cold damp ground； in
the agonies of death； I see my dear mother and my revered grand…father。 I
strive to raise you； you push me from you； and shrieking cry〃Charlotte；
thou hast murdered me！〃 Horror and despair tear every tortured nerve； I
start； and leave my restless bed； weary and unrefreshed。
〃Shocking as these reflexions are； I have yet one more dreadful than
the rest。 Mother； my dear mother！ do not let me quite break your heart
when I tell you； in a few months I shall bring into the world an innocent
witness of my guilt。 Oh my bleeding heart； I shall bring a poor little
helpless creature； heir to infamy and shame。
〃This alone has urged me once more to address you； to interest you in
behalf of this poor unborn； and beg you to extend your protection to the
child of your lost Charlotte； for my own part I have wrote so often； so
frequently have pleaded for forgiveness； and entreated to be received once
more beneath the paternal roof； that having received no answer； not even
one line； I much fear you have cast me from you for ever。
〃But sure you cannot refuse to protect my innocent infant： it partakes
not of its mother's guilt。 Oh my father； oh beloved mother； now do I feel
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the anguish I inflicted on your hearts recoiling with double force upon my
own。
〃If my child should be a girl （which heaven forbid） tell her the
unhappy fate of her mother； and teach her to avoid my errors； if a boy；
teach him to lament my miseries； but tell him not who inflicted them； lest
in wishing to revenge his mother's injuries； he should wound the peace of
his father。
〃And now； dear friends of my soul； kind guardians of my infancy；
farewell。 I feel I never more must hope to see you； the anguish of my heart
strikes at the strings of life； and in a short time I shall be at rest。 Oh could I
but receive your blessing and forgiveness before I died； it would smooth
my passage to the peaceful grave； and be a blessed foretaste of a happy
eternity。 I beseech you； curse me not； my adored parents； but let a tear of
pity and pardon fall to the memory of your lost CHARLOTTE。
CHAPTER XXIII。
A MAN MAY SMILE； AND SMILE； AND BE A VILLAIN。
WHILE Charlotte was enjoying some small degree of comfort in the
consoling friendship of Mrs。 Beauchamp； Montraville was advancing
rapidly in his affection towards Miss Franklin。 Julia was an amiable girl；
she saw only the fair side of his character； she possessed an independent
fortune； and resolved to be happy with the man of her heart； though his
rank and fortune were by no means so exalted as she had a right to expect；
she saw the passion which Montraville struggled to conceal； she wondered
at his timidity； but imagined the distance fortune had placed between them
occasioned his backwardness； and made every advance which strict
prudence and a becoming modesty would permit。 Montraville saw with
pleasure he was not indifferent to her； but a spark of honour which
animated his bosom would not suffer him to take advantage of her
partiality。 He was well acquainted with Charlotte's situation； and he
thought there would be a double cruelty in forsaking her at such a time；
and to marry Miss Franklin； while honour； humanity； every sacred law；
obliged him still to protect and support Charlotte； was a baseness which
his soul shuddered at。
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He communicated his uneasiness to Belcour： it was the very thing this
pretended friend had wished。 〃And do you really；〃 said he； laughing；
〃hesitate at marrying the lovely Julia； and becoming master of her fortune；
because a little foolish； fond girl chose to leave her friends； and run away
with you to America。 Dear Montraville； act more like a man of sense； this
whining； pining Charlotte； who occasions you so much uneasiness； would
have eloped with somebody else if she had not with you。〃
〃Would to heaven；〃 said Montraville； 〃I had never seen her； my regard
for her was but the momentary passion of desire； but I feel I shall love and
revere Julia Franklin as long as I live； yet to leave poor Charlotte in her
present situation would be cruel beyond description。〃
〃Oh my good sentimental friend；〃 said Belcour； 〃do you imagine no
body has a right to provide for the brat but yourself。〃
Montraville started。 〃Sure；〃 said he； 〃you cannot mean to insinuate that
Charlotte is false。〃
〃I don't insinuate it；〃 said Belcour； 〃I know it。〃
Montraville turned pale as ashes。 〃Then there is no faith in woman；〃
said he。
〃While I thought you attached to her；〃 said Belcour with an air of
indifference； 〃I never wished to make you uneasy by mentioning her
perfidy； but as I know you love and are beloved by Miss Franklin； I was
determined not to let these foolish scruples of honour step between you
and happiness； or your tenderness for the peace of a perfidious girl prevent
your uniting yourself to a woman of honour。〃
〃Good heavens！〃 said Montraville； 〃what poignant reflections does a
man endure who sees a lovely woman plunged in infamy； and is conscious
he was her first seducer； but are you certain of what you say； Belcour？〃
〃So far；〃 replied he； 〃that I myself have received advances from her
which I would not take advantage of out of regard to you： but hang it；
think no more about her。 I dined at Franklin's to…day； and Julia bid me seek
and bring you to tea： so come along； my lad； make good use of
opportunity； and seize the gifts of fortune while they are within your
reach。〃 Montraville was too much agitated to pass a happy evening even in
the company of Julia Franklin： he determined to visit Charlotte early the
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next morning； tax her with her falsehood； and take an everlasting leave of
her； but when the morning came； he was commanded on duty； and for six
weeks was prevented from putting his design in execution。 At length he
found an hour to spare； and walked out to spend it with Charlotte： it was
near four o'clock in the afternoon when he arrived at her cottage； she was
not in the parlour； and without calling the servant he walked up stairs；
thinking to find her in her bed room。 He opened the door； and the first
object that met his eyes was Charlotte asleep on the bed； and Belcour by
her side。
〃Death and distraction；〃 said he； stamping； 〃this is too much。 Rise；
villain； and defend yourself。〃 Belcour sprang from the bed。 The noise
awoke Charlotte； terrified at the furious appearance of Montraville； and
seeing Belcour with him in the chamber； she caught hold of his arm as he
stood by the bed…side； and eagerly asked what was the matter。
〃Treacherous； infamous girl；〃 said he； 〃can you ask？ How came he
here？〃 pointing to Belcour。
〃As heaven is my witness；〃 replied she weeping； 'I do not know。 I have
not seen him for these three weeks。〃
〃Then you confess he sometimes visits you？〃
〃He came sometimes by your desire。〃
〃'Tis false； I never desired him to come； and you know I did not： but
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