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第7节

the purse-第7节

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proving the certainty of this last incident; opened his eyes as

to the character and life of these two women。



Had they really waited till the portrait was given them before

robbing him of his purse? In such a combination the theft was

even more odious。 The painter recollected that for the last two

or three evenings Adelaide; while seeming to examine with a

girl's curiosity the particular stitch of the worn silk netting;

was probably counting the coins in the purse; while making some

light jests; quite innocent in appearance; but no doubt with the

object of watching for a moment when the sum was worth stealing。



〃The old admiral has perhaps good reasons for not marrying

Adelaide; and so the Baroness has tried〃



But at this hypothesis he checked himself; not finishing his

thought; which was contradicted by a very just reflection; 〃If

the Baroness hopes to get me to marry her daughter;〃 thought he;

〃they would not have robbed me。〃



Then; clinging to his illusions; to the love that already had

taken such deep root; he tried to find a justification in some

accident。 〃The purse must have fallen on the floor;〃 said he to

himself; 〃or I left it lying on my chair。 Or perhaps I have it

about meI am so absent…minded!〃 He searched himself with

hurried movements; but did not find the ill…starred purse。 His

memory cruelly retraced the fatal truth; minute by minute。 He

distinctly saw the purse lying on the green cloth; but then;

doubtful no longer; he excused Adelaide; telling himself that

persons in misfortune should not be so hastily condemned。 There

was; of course; some secret behind this apparently degrading

action。 He would not admit that that proud and noble face was a

lie。



At the same time the wretched rooms rose before him; denuded of

the poetry of love which beautifies everything; he saw them dirty

and faded; regarding them as emblematic of an inner life devoid

of honor; idle and vicious。 Are not our feelings written; as it

were; on the things about us?



Next morning he rose; not having slept。 The heartache; that

terrible malady of the soul; had made rapid inroads。 To lose the

bliss we dreamed of; to renounce our whole future; is a keener

pang than that caused by the loss of known happiness; however

complete it may have been; for is not Hope better than Memory?

The thoughts into which our spirit is suddenly plunged are like a

shoreless sea; in which we may swim for a moment; but where our

love is doomed to drown and die。 And it is a frightful death。 Are

not our feelings the most glorious part of our life? It is this

partial death which; in certain delicate or powerful natures;

leads to the terrible ruin produced by disenchantment; by hopes

and passions betrayed。 Thus it was with the young painter。 He

went out at a very early hour to walk under the fresh shade of

the Tuileries; absorbed in his thoughts; forgetting everything in

the world。



There by chance he met one of his most intimate friends; a

school…fellow and studio…mate; with whom he had lived on better

terms than with a brother。



〃Why; Hippolyte; what ails you?〃 asked Francois Souchet; the

young sculptor who had just won the first prize; and was soon to

set out for Italy。



〃I am most unhappy;〃 replied Hippolyte gravely。



〃Nothing but a love affair can cause you grief。 Money; glory;

respectyou lack nothing。〃



Insensibly the painter was led into confidences; and confessed

his love。 The moment he mentioned the Rue de Suresnes; and a

young girl living on the fourth floor; 〃Stop; stop;〃 cried

Souchet lightly。 〃A little girl I see every morning at the Church

of the Assumption; and with whom I have a flirtation。 But; my

dear fellow; we all know her。 The mother is a Baroness。 Do you

really believe in a Baroness living up four flights of stairs?

Brrr! Why; you are a relic of the golden age! We see the old


mother here; in this avenue; every day; why; her face; her

appearance; tell everything。 What; have you not known her for

what she is by the way she holds her bag?〃



The two friends walked up and down for some time; and several

young men who knew Souchet or Schinner joined them。 The painter's

adventure; which the sculptor regarded as unimportant; was

repeated by him。



〃So he; too; has seen that young lady!〃 said Souchet。



And then there were comments; laughter; innocent mockery; full of

the liveliness familiar to artists; but which pained Hippolyte

frightfully。 A certain native reticence made him uncomfortable as

he saw his heart's secret so carelessly handled; his passion

rent; torn to tatters; a young and unknown girl; whose life

seemed to be so modest; the victim of condemnation; right or

wrong; but pronounced with such reckless indifference。 He

pretended to be moved by a spirit of contradiction; asking each

for proofs of his assertions; and their jests began again。



〃But; my dear boy; have you seen the Baroness' shawl?〃 asked

Souchet。



〃Have you ever followed the girl when she patters off to church

in the morning?〃 said Joseph Bridau; a young dauber in Gros'

studio。



〃Oh; the mother has among other virtues a certain gray gown;

which I regard as typical;〃 said Bixiou; the caricaturist。



〃Listen; Hippolyte;〃 the sculptor went on。 〃Come here at about

four o'clock; and just study the walk of both mother and

daughter。 If after that you still have doubts! well; no one can

ever make anything of you; you would be capable of marrying your

porter's daughter。



Torn by the most conflicting feelings; the painter parted from

his friends。 It seemed to him that Adelaide and her mother must

be superior to these accusations; and at the bottom of his heart

he was filled with remorse for having suspected the purity of

this beautiful and simple girl。 He went to his studio; passing

the door of the rooms where Adelaide was; and conscious of a pain

at his heart which no man can misapprehend。 He loved Mademoiselle

de Rouville so passionately that; in spite of the theft of the

purse; he still worshiped her。 His love was that of the Chevalier

des Grieux admiring his mistress; and holding her as pure; even

on the cart which carries such lost creatures to prison。 〃Why

should not my love keep her the purest of women? Why abandon her

to evil and to vice without holding out a rescuing hand to her?〃



The idea of this mission pleased him。 Love makes a gain of

everything。 Nothing tempts a young man more than to play the part

of a good genius to a woman。 There is something inexplicably

romantic in such an enterprise which appeals to a highly…strung

soul。 Is it not the utmost stretch of devotion under the loftiest

and most engaging aspect? Is there not something grand in the

thought that we love enough still to love on when the love of

others dwindles and dies?



Hippolyte sat down in his studio; gazed at his picture without

doing anything to it; seeing the figures through tears that

swelled in his eyes; holding his brush in his hand; going up to

the canvas as if to soften down an effect; but not touching it。

Night fell; and he was still in this attitude。 Roused from his

moodiness by the darkness; he went downstairs; met the old

admiral on the way; looked darkly at him as he bowed; and fled。



He had intended going in to see the ladies; but the sight of

Adelaide's protector froze his heart and dispelled his purpose。

For the hundredth time he wondered what interest could bring this

old prodigal; with his eighty thousand francs a year; to this

fourth story; where he lost about forty francs every evening; and

he thought he could guess what it was。



The next and following days Hippolyte threw himself into his

work; and to try to conquer his passion by the swift rush of

ideas and the ardor of composition。 He half succeeded。 Study

consoled him; though it could not smother the memories of so many

tender hours spent with Adelaide。



One evening; as he left his studio; he saw the door of the

ladies' rooms half open。 Somebody was standing in the recess of

the window; and the position of the door and the staircase made

it impossible that the painter should pass without seeing

Adelaide。 He bowed coldly; with a glance of supreme indifference;

but judging of the girl's suffering by his own; he felt an inward

shudder as he reflected on the bitterness which that look and

that coldness must produce in a loving heart。 To crown the most

delightful feast which ever brought joy to two pure souls; by

eight days of disdain; of the deepest and most utter contempt!A

frightful conclusion。 And perhaps the purse had been found;

perhaps Adelaide had looked for her friend every evening。



This simple and natural idea filled the lover with fresh remorse;

he asked himself whether the proofs of attachment given him by

the young girl; the delightful talks; full of the love that had

so charmed him; did not deserve at least an inquiry; were not

wo

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