a daughter of eve-第21节
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with that coldly sullen and morose expression of face which may be
noticed in persons who are either fated to commit suicide or are
meditating it。 The funereal ideas they are turning over in their minds
appear upon their foreheads in gray and cloudy tints； their smile has
something fatalistic in it； their motions are solemn。 These unhappy
beings seem to want to suck the last juices of the life they mean to
leave； their eyes see things invisible； their ears are listening to a
death…knell； they pay no attention to the minor things about them。
These alarming symptoms Marie perceived one evening at Lady Dudley's。
Raoul was sitting apart on a sofa in the boudoir； while the rest of
the company were conversing in the salon。 The countess went to the
door； but he did not raise his head； he heard neither Marie's
breathing nor the rustle of her silk dress； he was gazing at a flower
in the carpet； with fixed eyes； stupid with grief； he felt he had
rather die than abdicate。 All the world can't have the rock of Saint
Helena for a pedestal。 Moreover； suicide was then the fashion in
Paris。 Is it not； in fact； the last resource of all atheistical
societies？ Raoul； as he sat there； had decided that the moment had
come to die。 Despair is in proportion to our hopes； that of Raoul had
no other issue than the grave。
〃What is the matter？〃 cried Marie； flying to him。
〃Nothing；〃 he answered。
There is one way of saying that word 〃nothing〃 between lovers which
signifies its exact contrary。 Marie shrugged her shoulders。
〃You are a child；〃 she said。 〃Some misfortune has happened to you。〃
〃No； not to me；〃 he replied。 〃But you will know all soon enough；
Marie；〃 he added； affectionately。
〃What were you thinking of when I came in？〃 she asked； in a tone of
authority。
〃Do you want to know the truth？〃 She nodded。 〃I was thinking of you； I
was saying to myself that most men in my place would have wanted to be
loved without reserve。 I am loved； am I not？〃
〃Yes；〃 she answered。
〃And yet；〃 he said； taking her round the waist and kissing her
forehead at the risk of being seen； 〃I leave you pure and without
remorse。 I could have dragged you into an abyss； but you remain in all
your glory on its brink without a stain。 Yet one thought troubles
me〃
〃What is it？〃 she asked。
〃You will despise me。〃 She smiled superbly。 〃Yes； you will never
believe that I have sacredly loved you； I shall be disgraced； I know
that。 Women never imagine that from the depths of our mire we raise
our eyes to heaven and truly adore a Marie。 They assail that sacred
love with miserable doubts； they cannot believe that men of intellect
and poesy can so detach their soul from earthly enjoyment as to lay it
pure upon some cherished altar。 And yet； Marie； the worship of the
ideal is more fervent in men then in women； we find it in women； who
do not even look for it in us。〃
〃Why are you making me that article？〃 she said； jestingly。
〃I am leaving France； and you will hear to…morrow； how and why； from a
letter my valet will bring you。 Adieu； Marie。〃
Raoul left the house after again straining the countess to his heart
with dreadful pressure； leaving her stupefied and distressed。
〃What is the matter； my dear？〃 said Madame d'Espard； coming to look
for her。 〃What has Monsieur Nathan been saying to you？ He has just
left us in a most melodramatic way。 Perhaps you are too reasonable or
too unreasonable with him。〃
The countess got into a hackney…coach and was driven rapidly to the
newspaper office。 At that hour the huge apartments which they occupied
in an old mansion in the rue Feydeau were deserted； not a soul was
there but the watchman； who was greatly surprised to see a young and
pretty woman hurrying through the rooms in evident distress。 She asked
him to tell her where was Monsieur Nathan。
〃At Mademoiselle Florine's； probably；〃 replied the man； taking Marie
for a rival who intended to make a scene。
〃Where does he work？〃
〃In his office； the key of which he carries in his pocket。〃
〃I wish to go there。〃
The man took her to a dark little room looking out on a rear court…
yard。 The office was at right angles。 Opening the window of the room
she was in； the countess could look through into the window of the
office； and she saw Nathan sitting there in the editorial arm…chair。
〃Break in the door； and be silent about all this； I'll pay you well；〃
she said。 〃Don't you see that Monsieur Nathan is dying？〃
The man got an iron bar from the press…room； with which he burst in
the door。 Raoul had actually smothered himself； like any poor work…
girl； with a pan of charcoal。 He had written a letter to Blondet；
which lay on the table； in which he asked him to ascribe his death to
apoplexy。 The countess； however； had arrived in time； she had Raoul
carried to her coach； and then； not knowing where else to care for
him； she took him to a hotel； engaged a room； and sent for a doctor。
In a few hours Raoul was out of danger； but the countess did not leave
him until she had obtained a general confession of the causes of his
act。 When he had poured into her heart the dreadful elegy of his woes；
she said； in order to make him willing to live：
〃I can arrange all that。〃
But； nevertheless； she returned home with a heart oppressed with the
same anxieties and ideas that had darkened Nathan's brow the night
before。
〃Well； what was the matter with your sister？〃 said Felix； when his
wife returned。 〃You look distressed。〃
〃It is a dreadful history about which I am bound to secrecy；〃 she
said； summoning all her nerve to appear calm before him。
In order to be alone and to think at her ease； she went to the Opera
in the evening； after which she resolved to go （as we have seen） and
discharge her heart into that of her sister； Madame du Tillet；
relating to her the horrible scene of the morning； and begging her
advice and assistance。 Neither the one nor the other could then know
that du Tillet himself had lighted the charcoal of the vulgar brazier；
the sight of which had so justly terrified the countess。
〃He has but me in all the world；〃 said Marie to her sister； 〃and I
will not fail him。〃
That speech contains the secret motive of most women； they can be
heroic when they are certain of being all in all to a grand and
irreproachable being。
CHAPTER VIII
A LOVER SAVED AND LOST
Du Tillet had heard some talk even in financial circles of the more or
less possible adoration of his sister…in…law for Nathan； but he was
one of those who denied it； thinking it incompatible with Raoul's
known relations with Florine。 The actress would certainly drive off
the countess； or vice versa。 But when； on coming home that evening； he
found his sister…in…law with a perturbed face； in consultation with
his wife about money； it occurred to him that Raoul had； in all
probability； confided to her his situation。 The countess must
therefore love him； she had doubtless come to obtain from her sister
the sum due to old Gigonnet。 Madame du Tillet； unaware； of course； of
the reasons for her husband's apparently supernatural penetration； had
shown such stupefaction when he told her the sum wanted； that du
Tillet's suspicions became certainties。 He was sure now that he held
the thread of all Nathan's possible manoeuvres。
No one knew that the unhappy man himself was in bed in a small hotel
in the rue du Mail； under the name of the office watchman； to whom
Marie had promised five hundred francs if he kept silence as to the
events of the preceding night and morning。 Thus bribed； the man； whose
name was Francois Quillet； went back to the office and left word with
the portress that Monsieur Nathan had been taken ill in consequence of
overwork； and was resting。 Du Tillet was therefore not surprised at
Raoul's absence。 It was natural for the journalist to hide under any
such pretence to avoid arrest。 When the sheriff's spies made inquiries
they learned that a lady had carried him away in a public coach early
in the morning； but it took three days to ferret out the number of the
coach； question the driver； and find the hotel where the debtor was
recovering his strength。 Thus Marie's prompt action had really gained
for Nathan a truce of four days。
Both sisters passed a cruel night。 Such a catastrophe casts the lurid
gleams of its charcoal over the whole of life； showing reefs； pools；
depths； where the eye has hitherto seen only summits and grandeurs。
Struck by the horrible picture of a young man lying back in his chair
to die； with the last proofs of his paper before him； containing in
type his last thoughts； poor Madame du Tillet could think of nothing
else than how to save him and restore a life so precious to her
sister。 It is the nature of our mind to see effects before we analyze
their causes。 Eugenie recurred to her first idea of consul
