the queen of hearts-第9节

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eyes；　to　listen　to　her　with　my　new　ears；　to　study　her　secretly
with　my　new　purposes；　and　my　new　hopes　and　fears。　To　my　dismay
（for　I　wanted　the　very　weather　itself　to　favor　George's
interests）；　it　was　raining　heavily　that　morning。　I　knew；
therefore；　that　I　should　probably　find　her　in　her　own
sitting…room。　When　I　knocked　at　her　door；　with　George's　letter
crumpled　up　in　my　hand；　with　George's　hopes　in　full　possession　of
my　heart；　it　is　no　exaggeration　to　say　that　my　nerves　were　almost
as　much　fluttered；　and　my　ideas　almost　as　much　confused；　as　they
were　on　a　certain　memorable　day　in　the　far　past；　when　I　rose；　in
brand…new　wig　and　gown；　to　set　my　future　prospects　at　the　bar　on
the　hazard　of　my　first　speech。

When　I　entered　the　room　I　found　Jessie　leaning　back　languidly　in
her　largest　arm…chair；　watching　the　raindrops　dripping　down　the
window…pane。　The　unfortunate　box　of　novels　was　open　by　her　side；
and　the　books　were　lying；　for　the　most　part；　strewed　about　on　the
ground　at　her　feet。　One　volume　lay　open；　back　upward；　on　her　lap；
and　her　hands　were　crossed　over　it　listlessly。　To　my　great
dismay；　she　was　yawningpalpably　and　widely　yawningwhen　I　came
in。

No　sooner　did　I　find　myself　in　her　presence　than　an　irresistible
anxiety　to　make　some　secret　discovery　of　the　real　state　of　her
feelings　toward　George　took　possession　of　me。　After　the　customary
condolences　on　the　imprisonment　to　which　she　was　subjected　by　the
weather；　I　said；　in　as　careless　a　manner　as　it　was　possible　to
assume：

〃I　have　heard　from　my　son　this　morning。　He　talks　of　being　ordered
home；　and　tells　me　I　may　expect　to　see　him　before　the　end　of　the
year。〃

I　was　too　cautious　to　mention　the　exact　date　of　his　return；　for
in　that　case　she　might　have　detected　my　motive　for　asking　her　to
prolong　her　visit。

〃Oh；　indeed？〃　she　said。　〃How　very　nice。　How　glad　you　must　be。〃

I　watched　her　narrowly。　The　clear；　dark　blue　eyes　met　mine　as
openly　as　ever。　The　smooth；　round　cheeks　kept　their　fresh　color
quite　unchanged。　The　full；　good…humored；　smiling　lips　never
trembled　or　altered　their　expression　in　the　slightest　degree。　Her
light　checked　silk　dress；　with　its　pretty　trimming　of
cherry…colored　ribbon；　lay　quite　still　over　the　bosom　beneath　it。
For　all　the　information　I　could　get　from　her　look　and　manner；　we
might　as　well　have　been　a　hundred　miles　apart　from　each　other。　Is
the　best　woman　in　the　world　little　better　than　a　fathomless　abyss
of　duplicity　on　certain　occasions；　and　where　certain　feelings　of
her　own　are　concerned？　I　would　rather　not　think　that；　and　yet　I
don't　know　how　to　account　otherwise　for　the　masterly　manner　in
which　Miss　Jessie　contrived　to　baffle　me。

I　was　afraidliterally　afraidto　broach　the　subject　of
prolonging　her　sojourn　with　us　on　a　rainy　day；　so　I　changed　the
topic；　in　despair；　to　the　novels　that　were　scattered　about　her。

〃Can　you　find　nothing　there；〃　I　asked；　〃to　amuse　you　this　wet
morning？〃

〃There　are　two　or　three　good　novels；〃　she　said；　carelessly；　〃but
I　read　them　before　I　left　London。〃

〃And　the　others　won't　even　do　for　a　dull　day　in　the　country？〃　I
went　on。

〃They　might　do　for　some　people；〃　she　answered；　〃but　not　for　me。
I'm　rather　peculiar；　perhaps；　in　my　tastes。　I'm　sick　to　death　of
novels　with　an　earnest　purpose。　I'm　sick　to　death　of　outbursts　of
eloquence；　and　large…minded　philanthropy；　and　graphic
descriptions；　and　unsparing　anatomy　of　the　human　heart；　and　all
that　sort　of　thing。　Good　gracious　me！　isn't　it　the　original
intention　or　purpose；　or　whatever　you　call　it；　of　a　work　of
fiction；　to　set　out　distinctly　by　telling　a　story？　And　how　many
of　these　books；　I　should　like　to　know；　do　that？　Why；　so　far　as
telling　a　story　is　concerned；　the　greater　part　of　them　might　as
well　be　sermons　as　novels。　Oh；　dear　me！　what　I　want　is　something
that　seizes　hold　of　my　interest；　and　makes　me　forget　when　it　is
time　to　dress　for　dinnersomething　that　keeps　me　reading；
reading；　reading；　in　a　breathless　state　to　find　out　the　end。　You
know　what　I　meanat　least　you　ought。　Why；　there　was　that　little
chance　story　you　told　me　yesterday　in　the　gardendon't　you
remember？about　your　strange　client；　whom　you　never　saw　again：　I
declare　it　was　much　more　interesting　than　half　these　novels；
_because_　it　was　a　story。　Tell　me　another　about　your　young　days；
when　you　were　seeing　the　world；　and　meeting　with　all　sorts　of
remarkable　people。　Or；　nodon't　tell　it　nowkeep　it　till　the
evening；　when　we　all　want　something　to　stir　us　up。　You　old　people
might　amuse　us　young　ones　out　of　your　own　resources　oftener　than
you　do。　It　was　very　kind　of　you　to　get　me　these　books；　but；　with
all　respect　to　them；　I　would　rather　have　the　rummaging　of　your
memory　than　the　rummaging　of　this　box。　What's　the　matter？　Are　you
afraid　I　have　found　out　the　window　in　your　bosom　already？〃

I　had　half　risen　from　my　chair　at　her　last　words；　and　I　felt　that
my　face　must　have　flushed　at　the　same　moment。　She　had　started　an
idea　in　my　mindthe　very　idea　of　which　I　had　been　in　search　when
I　was　pondering　over　the　best　means　of　amusing　her　in　the　long
autumn　evenings。

I　parried　her　questions　by　the　best　excuses　I　could　offer；
changed　the　conversation　for　the　next　five　minutes；　and　then；
making　a　sudden　remembrance　of　business　my　apology　for　leaving
her；　hastily　withdrew　to　devote　myself　to　the　new　idea　in　the
solitude　of　my　own　room。

A　little　quiet　thinking　convinced　me　that　I　had　discovered　a
means　not　only　of　occupying　her　idle　time；　but　of　decoying　her
into　staying　on　with　us；　evening　by　evening；　until　my　son's
return。　The　new　project　which　she　had　herself　unconsciously
suggested　involved　nothing　less　than　acting　forthwith　on　her　own
chance　hint；　and　appealing　to　her　interest　and　curiosity　by　the
recital　of　incidents　and　adventures　drawn　from　my　own　personal
experience　and　（if　I　could　get　them　to　help　me）　from　the
experience　of　my　brothers　as　well。　Strange　people　and　startling
events　had　connected　themselves　with　Owen's　past　life　as　a
clergyman；　with　Morgan's　past　life　as　a　doctor；　and　with　my　past
life　as　a　lawyer；　which　offered　elements　of　interest　of　a　strong
and　striking　kind　ready　to　our　hands。　If　these　narratives　were
written　plainly　and　unpretendingly；　if　one　of　them　was　read　every
evening；　under　circumstances　that　should　pique　the　curiosity　and
impress　the　imagination　of　our　young　guest；　the　very　occupation
was　found　for　her　weary　hours　which　would　gratify　her　tastes；
appeal　to　her　natural　interest　in　the　early　lives　of　my　brothers
and　myself；　and　lure　her　insensibly　into　prolonging　her　visit　by
ten　days　without　exciting　a　suspicion　of　our　real　motive　for
detaining　her。

I　sat　down　at　my　desk；　I　hid　my　face　in　my　hands　to　keep　out　all
impressions　of　external　and　present　things；　and　I　searched　back
through　the　mysterious　labyrinth　of　the　Past；　through　the　dun；
ever…deepening　twilight　of　the　years　that　were　gone。

Slowly；　out　of　the　awful　shadows；　the　Ghosts　of　Memory　rose　about
me。　The　dead　population　of　a　vanished　world　came　back　to　life
round　me；　a　living　man。　Men　and　women　whose　earthly　pilgrimage
had　ended　long　since；　returned　upon　me　from　the　unknown　spheres；
and　fond；　familiar　voices　burst　their　way　back　to　my　ears　through
the　heavy　silence　of　the　grave。　Moving　by　me　in　the　nameless
inner　light；　which　no　eye　saw　but　mine；　the　dead　procession　of
immaterial　scenes　and　beings　unrolled　its　silent　length。　I　saw
once　more　the　pleading　face　of　a　friend　of　early　days；　with　the
haunting　vision　that　had　tortured　him　through　life　by　his　side
againwith　the　long…forgotten　despair　in　his　eyes　which　had　once
touched　my　heart；　and　bound　me　to　him；　till　I　had　tracked　his
destiny　through　its　darkest　windings　to　the　end。　I　saw　the　figure
of　an　innocent　woman　passing　to　and　fro　in　an　ancient　country
house；　with　the　shadow　of　a　strange　suspicion　stealing　after　her
wherever　she　went。　I　saw　a　man　worn　by　hardship　and　old　age；
stretched　dreaming　on　the　straw　of　a　stable；　and　muttering　in　his
dream　the　terrible　secret　of　his　life。

Other　scenes　and　persons　followed　these；　less　vivid　in　their
revival；　but　still　always　recognizable　and　distinct；　a　young　girl
alone　by　night；　and　in　peril　of　her　life；　in　a　cottage　on　a
dreary　mooran　upper　chamber　of　an　inn；　with　two　beds　in　it；　the
curtains　of　one　bed　closed；　and　a　man　standing　by　them；　waiting；
yet　dreading　to　draw　them　backa　husband　secretly　following　the
first　traces　of　a　mystery　which　his　wife's　anxious　love　had
fatally　hidden　from　him　since　the　day　when　they　first　met；　these；
and　other　visions　like　them；　shadowy　reflections　of　the　living
beings　and　the　real　events　that　had　been　once；　peopled　the
solitude　and　the　emptiness　around　me。　They　haunted　me　still　when
I　tried　to　break　the　chain　of　thought　which　my　own　efforts　had
wound　about　my　mind；　they　followed　me　to　and　fro　in　the　room；　and
they　came　out　with　me　when　I　left　it。　I　had　lifted　the　veil　from
the　Past　for　myself；　and　I　was　now　to　rest　no　more　till　I　had
lifted　it　for　others。

I　went　at　once　to　my　eldest　brother　and　showed　him　my　son's
letter；　and　told　him　all　that　I　have　written　here。　His　kind　heart
was　touched　as　mine　had　been。　He　felt　for　my　suspense；　he　shared
my　anxiety；　he　l