the queen of hearts-第78节

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hail　and　wind。　The　old　pony　which　he　usually　rides　had　refused　to
face　the　storm；　and；　sooner　than　disappoint　us；　our　faithful
postman　had　boldly　started　for　The　Glen　Tower　on　foot。　All　his
early　life　had　been　passed　on　board　ship；　and；　at　sixty　years　of
age；　he　had　battled　his　way　that　morning　through　the　storm　on
shore　as　steadily　and　as　resolutely　as　ever　he　had　battled　it　in
his　youth　through　the　storm　at　sea。

I　opened　the　post…bag　eagerly。　There　were　two　letters　for　Jessie
from　young　lady　friends；　a　letter　for　Owen　from　a　charitable
society；　a　letter　to　me　upon　business；　andon　this　last　day；　of
all　othersno　newspaper！

I　sent　directly　to　the　kitchen　（where　the　drenched　and　weary
postman　was　receiving　the　hospitable　attentions　of　the　servants）
to　make　inquiries。　The　disheartening　answer　returned　was　that　the
newspaper　could　not　have　arrived　as　usual　by　the　morning's　post；
or　it　must　have　been　put　into　the　bag　along　with　the　letters。　No
such　accident　as　this　had　occurred；　except　on　one　former
occasion；　since　the　beginning　of　the　year。　And　now；　on　the　very
day　when　I　might　have　looked　confidently　for　news　of　George's
ship；　when　the　state　of　the　weather　made　the　finding　of　that　news
of　the　last　importance　to　my　peace　of　mind；　the　paper；　by　some
inconceivable　fatality；　had　failed　to　reach　me！　If　there　had　been
the　slightest　chance　of　borrowing　a　copy　in　the　village；　I　should
have　gone　there　myself　through　the　tempest　to　get　it。　If　there
had　been　the　faintest　possibility　of　communicating；　in　that
frightful　weather；　with　the　distant　county　town；　I　should　have
sent　there　or　gone　there　myself。　I　even　went　the　length　of
speaking　to　the　groom；　an　old　servant　whom　I　knew　I　could　trust。
The　man　stared　at　me　in　astonishment；　and　then　pointed　through
the　window　to　the　blinding　hail　and　the　writhing　trees。

〃No　horse　that　ever　was　foaled；　sir；〃　he　said；　〃would　face　_that_
for　long。　It's　a'most　a　miracle　that　the　postman　got　here　alive。
He　says　himself　that　he　dursn't　go　back　again。　I'll　try　it；　sir；
if　you　order　me；　but　if　an　accident　happens；　please　to　remember；
whatever　becomes　of　_me；_　that　I　warned　you　beforehand。〃

It　was　only　too　plain　that　the　servant　was　right；　and　I　dismissed
him。　What　I　suffered　from　that　one　accident　of　the　missing
newspaper　I　am　ashamed　to　tell。　No　educated　man　can　conceive　how
little　his　acquired　mental　advantages　will　avail　him　against　his
natural　human　inheritance　of　superstition；　under　certain
circumstances　of　fear　and　suspense；　until　he　has　passed　the
ordeal　in　his　own　proper　person。　We　most　of　us　soon　arrive　at　a
knowledge　of　the　extent　of　our　strength；　but　we　may　pass　a
lifetime　and　be　still　ignorant　of　the　extent　of　our　weakness。

Up　to　this　time　I　had　preserved　self…control　enough　to　hide　the
real　state　of　my　feelings　from　our　guest；　but　the　arrival　of　the
tenth　day；　and　the　unexpected　trial　it　had　brought　with　it；　found
me　at　the　end　of　my　resources。　Jessie's　acute　observation　soon
showed　her　that　something　had　gone　wrong；　and　she　questioned　me
on　the　subject　directly。　My　mind　was　in　such　a　state　of　confusion
that　no　excuse　occurred　to　me。　I　left　her　precipitately；　and
entreated　Owen　and　Morgan　to　keep　her　in　their　company；　and　out
of　mine；　for　the　rest　of　the　day。　My　strength　to　preserve　my
son's　secret　had　failed　me；　and　my　only　chance　of　resisting　the
betrayal　of　it　lay　in　the　childish　resource　of　keeping　out　of　the
way。　I　shut　myself　into　my　room　till　I　could　bear　it　no　longer。　I
watched　my　opportunity；　and　paid　stolen　visits　over　and　over
again　to　the　barometer　in　the　hall。　I　mounted　to　Morgan's　rooms
at　the　top　of　the　tower；　and　looked　out　hopelessly　through
rain…mist　and　scud　for　signs　of　a　carriage　on　the　flooded
valley…road　below　us。　I　stole　down　again　to　the　servants'　hall；
and　questioned　the　old　postman　（half…tipsy　by　this　time　with
restorative　mulled　ale）　about　his　past　experience　of　storms　at
sea；　drew　him　into　telling　long；　rambling；　wearisome　stories；　not
one…tenth　part　of　which　I　heard；　and　left　him　with　my　nervous
irritability　increased　tenfold　by　his　useless　attempts　to
interest　and　inform　me。　Hour　by　hour；　all　through　that　miserable
day；　I　opened　doors　and　windows　to　feel　for　myself　the　capricious
changes　of　the　storm　from　worse　to　better；　and　from　better　to
worse　again。　Now　I　sent　once　more　for　the　groom；　when　it　looked
lighter；　and　now　I　followed　him　hurriedly　to　the　stables；　to
countermand　my　own　rash　orders。　My　thoughts　seemed　to　drive　over
my　mind　as　the　rain　drove　over　the　earth；　the　confusion　within　me
was　the　image　in　little　of　the　mightier　turmoil　that　raged
outside。

Before　we　assembled　at　the　dinner…table；　Owen　whispered　to　me
that　he　had　made　my　excuses　to　our　guest；　and　that　I　need　dread
nothing　more　than　a　few　friendly　inquiries　about　my　health　when　I
saw　her　again。　The　meal　was　dispatched　hastily　and　quietly。
Toward　dusk　the　storm　began　to　lessen；　and　for　a　moment　the　idea
of　sending　to　the　town　occurred　to　me　once　more。　But；　now　that
the　obstacle　of　weather　had　been　removed；　the　obstacle　of
darkness　was　set　up　in　its　place。　I　felt　this；　I　felt　that　a　few
more　hours　would　decide　the　doubt　about　George；　so　far　as　this
last　day　was　concerned；　and　I　determined　to　wait　a　little　longer；
having　already　waited　so　long。　My　resolution　was　the　more
speedily　taken　in　this　matter；　as　I　had　now　made　up　my　mind；　in
sheer　despair；　to　tell　my　son's　secret　to　Jessie　if　he　failed　to
return　before　she　left　us。　My　reason　warned　me　that　I　should　put
myself　and　my　guest　in　a　false　position　by　taking　this　step；　but
something　stronger　than　my　reason　forbade　me　to　let　her　go　back
to　the　gay　world　and　its　temptations　without　first　speaking　to
her　of　George　in　the　lamentable　event　of　George　not　being　present
to　speak　for　himself。

We　were　a　sad　and　silent　little　company　when　the　clock　struck
eight　that　night；　and　when　we　met　for　the　last　time　to　hear　the
last　story。　The　shadow　of　the　approaching　farewellitself　the
shade　of　the　long　farewellrested　heavily　on　our　guest's
spirits。　The　gay　dresses　which　she　had　hitherto　put　on　to　honor
our　little　ceremony　were　all　packed　up；　and　the　plain　gown　she
wore　kept　the　journey　of　the　morrow　cruelly　before　her　eyes　and
ours。　A　quiet　melancholy　shed　its　tenderness　over　her　bright
young　face　as　she　drew　the　last　number；　for　form's　sake；　out　of
the　bowl；　and　handed　it　to　Owen　with　a　faint　smile。　Even　our
positions　at　the　table　were　altered　now。　Under　the　pretense　that
the　light　hurt　my　eyes；　I　moved　back　into　a　dim　corner；　to　keep
my　anxious　face　out　of　view。　Morgan；　looking　at　me　hard；　and
muttering　under　his　breath；　〃Thank　Heaven；　I　never　married！〃
stole　his　chair　by　degrees；　with　rough；　silent　kindness；　nearer
and　nearer　to　mine。　Jessie；　after　a　moment's　hesitation；　vacated
her　place　next；　and；　saying　that　she　wanted　to　sit　close　to　one
of　us　on　the　farewell　night；　took　a　chair　at　Owen's　side。　Sad！
sad！　we　had　instinctively　broken　up　already；　so　far　as　our　places
at　the　table　were　concerned；　before　the　reading　of　the　last　story
had　so　much　as　begun。

It　was　a　relief　when　Owen'　s　quiet　voice　stole　over　the　weary
silence；　and　pleaded　for　our　attention　to　the　occupation　of　the
night。

〃Number　Six；〃　he　said；　〃is　the　number　that　chance　has　left　to
remain　till　the　last。　The　manuscript　to　which　it　refers　is　not；
as　you　may　see；　in　my　handw　riting。　It　consists　entirely　of
passages　from　the　Diary　of　a　poor　hard…working　girlpassages
which　tell　an　artless　story　of　love　and　friendship　in　humble
life。　When　that　story　has　come　to　an　end；　I　may　inform　you　how　I
became　possessed　of　it。　If　I　did　so　now；　I　should　only　forestall
one　important　part　of　the　interest　of　the　narrative。　I　have　made
no　attempt　to　find　a　striking　title　for　it。　It　is　called；　simply
and　plainly；　after　the　name　of　the　writer　of　the　Diarythe　Story
of　Anne　Rodway。〃

In　the　short　pause　that　Owen　made　before　he　began　to　read；　I
listened　anxiously　for　the　sound　of　a　traveler's　approach
outside。　At　short　intervals；　all　through　the　story；　I　listened
and　listened　again。　Still；　nothing　caught　my　ear　but　the　trickle
of　the　rain　and　the　rush　of　the　sweeping　wind　through　the　valley；
sinking　gradually　lower　and　lower　as　the　night　advanced。


BROTHER　OWEN'S　STORY

of

ANNE　RODWAY。

＇TAKEN　FROM　HER　DIARY。＇


*　*　*　MARCH　3d；　1840。　A　long　letter　today　from　Robert；　which
surprised　and　vexed　me　so　that　I　have　been　sadly　behindhand　with
my　work　ever　since。　He　writes　in　worse　spirits　than　last　time；
and　absolutely　declares　that　he　is　poorer　even　than　when　he　went
to　America；　and　that　he　has　made　up　his　mind　to　come　home　to
London。

How　happy　I　should　be　at　this　news；　if　he　only　returned　to　me　a
prosperous　man！　As　it　is；　though　I　love　him　dearly；　I　cannot　look
forward　to　the　meeting　him　again；　disappointed　and　broken　down；
and　poorer　than　ever；　without　a　feeling　almost　of　dread　for　both
of　us。　I　was　twenty…six　last　birthday　and　he　was　thirty…three；
and　there　seems　less　chance　now　than　ever　of　our　being　married。
It　is　all　I　can　do　to　keep　myself　by　my　needle；　and　his
prospects；　since　he　failed　in　the　small　stationery　business　three
years　ago；　are　worse；　if　possible；