the purcell papers-2-第7节
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which he hastily concealed behind his back;
and coming towards me; said something as
if in an explanatory tone; but I was too
much shocked and confounded to understand
what it might be。 He said something
about 'REPAIRSwindowframes
cold; and safety。'
I did not wait; however; to ask or to
receive explanations; but hastily left the
room。 As I went down the stairs I
thought I heard the voice of the Frenchwoman
in all the shrill volubility of excuse;
which was met; however; by suppressed
but vehement imprecations; or what
seemed to me to be such; in which the
voice of my cousin Edward distinctly
mingled。
I joined my cousin Emily quite out of
breath。 I need not say that my head was
too full of other things to think much of
drawing for that day。 I imparted to her
frankly the cause of my alarms; but at the
same time as gently as I could; and with
tears she promised vigilance; and devotion;
and love。 I never had reason for a
moment to repent the unreserved confidence
which I then reposed in her。 She was no
less surprised than I at the unexpected
appearance of Edward; whose departure
for France neither of us had for a moment
doubted; but which was now proved by his
actual presence to be nothing more than
an imposture; practised; I feared; for no
good end。
The situation in which I had found my
uncle had removed completely all my
doubts as to his designs。 I magnified
suspicions into certainties; and dreaded night
after night that I should be murdered in
my bed。 The nervousness produced by
sleepless nights and days of anxious fears
increased the horrors of my situation to
such a degree; that I at length wrote a
letter to a Mr。 Jefferies; an old and faithful
friend of my father's; and perfectly
acquainted with all his affairs; praying him;
for God's sake; to relieve me from my
present terrible situation; and communicating
without reserve the nature and
grounds of my suspicions。
This letter I kept sealed and directed
for two or three days always about my
person; for discovery would have been
ruinous; in expectation of an opportunity
which might be safely trusted; whereby to
have it placed in the post…office。 As neither
Emily nor I were permitted to pass beyond
the precincts of the demesne itself;
which was surrounded by high walls
formed of dry stone; the difficulty of
procuring such an opportunity was greatly
enhanced。
At this time Emily had a short conver…
sation with her father; which she reported
to me instantly。
After some indifferent matter; he had
asked her whether she and I were upon
good terms; and whether I was unreserved
in my disposition。 She answered in the
affirmative; and he then inquired whether
I had been much surprised to find him in
my chamber on the other day。 She
answered that I had been both surprised and
amused。
'And what did she think of George
Wilson's appearance?'
'Who?' inquired she。
'Oh; the architect;' he answered; 'who
is to contract for the repairs of the house;
he is accounted a handsome fellow。'
'She could not see his face;' said Emily;
'and she was in such a hurry to escape
that she scarcely noticed him。'
Sir Arthur appeared satisfied; and the
conversation ended。
This slight conversation; repeated
accurately to me by Emily; had the effect of
confirming; if indeed anything was required
to do so; all that I had before believed as
to Edward's actual presence; and I naturally
became; if possible; more anxious
than ever to despatch the letter to Mr。
Jefferies。 An opportunity at length occurred。
As Emily and I were walking one day
near the gate of the demesne; a lad from
the village happened to be passing down
the avenue from the house; the spot was
secluded; and as this person was not
connected by service with those whose
observation I dreaded; I committed the letter
to his keeping; with strict injunctions that
he should put it without delay into the
receiver of the town post…office; at the
same time I added a suitable gratuity; and
the man having made many protestations
of punctuality; was soon out of sight。
He was hardly gone when I began to
doubt my discretion in having trusted this
person; but I had no better or safer means
of despatching the letter; and I was not
warranted in suspecting him of such
wanton dishonesty as an inclination to
tamper with it; but I could not be quite
satisfied of its safety until I had received
an answer; which could not arrive for a
few days。 Before I did; however; an event
occurred which a little surprised me。
I was sitting in my bedroom early in the
day; reading by myself; when I heard a
knock at the door。
'Come in;' said I; and my uncle entered
the room。
'Will you excuse me?' said he。 'I
sought you in the parlour; and thence I
have come here。 I desired to say a word
with you。 I trust that you have hitherto
found my conduct to you such as that of a
guardian towards his ward should be。'
I dared not withhold my consent。
'And;' he continued; 'I trust that you
have not found me harsh or unjust; and
that you have perceived; my dear niece;
that I have sought to make this poor place
as agreeable to you as may be。'
I assented again; and he put his hand
in his pocket; whence he drew a folded
paper; and dashing it upon the table with
startling emphasis; he said:
'Did you write that letter?'
The sudden and tearful alteration of his
voice; manner; and face; but; more than all;
the unexpected production of my letter to
Mr。 Jefferies; which I at once recognised;
so confounded and terrified me; that I felt
almost choking。
I could not utter a word。
'Did you write that letter?' he repeated
with slow and intense emphasis。' You
did; liar and hypocrite! You dared to
write this foul and infamous libel; but it
shall be your last。 Men will universally
believe you mad; if I choose to call for an
inquiry。 I can make you appear so。 The
suspicions expressed in this letter are the
hallucinations and alarms of moping lunacy。
I have defeated your first attempt; madam;
and by the holy God; if ever you make
another; chains; straw; darkness; and the
keeper's whip shall be your lasting portion!'
With these astounding words he left the
room; leaving me almost fainting。
I was now almost reduced to despair;
my last cast had failed; I had no course
left but that of eloping secretly from the
castle; and placing myself under the
protection of the nearest magistrate。 I felt
if this were not done; and speedily; that I
should be MURDERED。
No one; from mere description; can have
an idea of the unmitigated horror of my
situationa helpless; weak; inexperienced
girl; placed under the power and wholly
at the mercy of evil men; and feeling that
she had it not in her power to escape for
a moment from the malignant influences
under which she was probably fated to fall;
and with a consciousness that if violence;
if murder were designed; her dying shriek
would be lost in void space; no human
being would be near to aid her; no human
interposition could deliver her。
I had seen Edward but once during his
visit; and as I did not meet with him
again; I began to think that he must have
taken his departurea conviction which
was to a certain degree satisfactory; as I
regarded his absence as indicating the
removal of immediate danger。
Emily also arrived circuitously at the
same conclusion; and not without good
grounds; for she managed indirectly to
learn that Edward's black horse had actually
been for a day and part of a night in
the castle stables; just at the time of her
brother's supposed visit。 The horse had
gone; and; as she argued; the rider must
have departed with it。
This point being so far settled; I felt a
little less uncomfortable: when being one
day alone in my bedroom; I happened to
look out from the window; and; to my un…
utterable horror; I beheld; peering through
an opposite casement; my cousin Edward's
face。 Had I seen the evil one himself in
bodily shape; I could not have experienced
a more sickening revulsion。
I was too much appalled to move at
once from the window; but I did so soon
enough to avoid his eye。 He was looking
fixedly into the narrow quadrangle upon
which the window opened。 I shrank back
unperceived; to pass the rest of the day
in terror and despair。 I went to my room
early that night; but I was too miserable
to sleep。
At about twelve o'clock; feeling very
nervous; I determined to call my cousin
Emily; who slept; you will remember; in
the next room; which communicated with
mine by a second door。 By this private
entrance I found my way into her chamber;
and without difficulty persuaded her to
return to my room and sleep with me。
We accor