the purcell papers-2-第5节

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just　gone　through；　that　when　my　cousin

Emily　knocked　at　my　door；　I　was　weeping

in　strong　hysterics。



You　will　readily　conceive　my　distress；

when　you　reflect　upon　my　strong　dislike　to

my　cousin　Edward；　combined　with　my

youth　and　extreme　inexperience。　Any

proposal　of　such　a　nature　must　have

agitated　me；　but　that　it　should　have　come

from　the　man　whom　of　all　others　I　most

loathed　and　abhorred；　and　to　whom　I　had；

as　clearly　as　manner　could　do　it；　expressed

the　state　of　my　feelings；　was　almost　too

overwhelming　to　be　borne。　It　was　a　calamity；

too；　in　which　I　could　not　claim　the　sym…

pathy　of　my　cousin　Emily；　which　had

always　been　extended　to　me　in　my　minor

grievances。　Still　I　hoped　that　it　might

not　be　unattended　with　good；　for　I

thought　that　one　inevitable　and　most

welcome　consequence　would　result　from

this　painful　eclaircissment；　in　the

discontinuance　of　my　cousin's　odious

persecution。



When　I　arose　next　morning；　it　was　with

the　fervent　hope　that　I　might　never　again

behold　the　face；　or　even　hear　the　name；　of

my　cousin　Edward；　but　such　a　consummation；

though　devoutly　to　be　wished；　was

hardly　likely　to　occur。　The　painful

impressions　of　yesterday　were　too　vivid　to

be　at　once　erased；　and　I　could　not　help

feeling　some　dim　foreboding　of　coming

annoyance　and　evil。



To　expect　on　my　cousin's　part　anything

like　delicacy　or　consideration　for　me；　was

out　of　the　question。　I　saw　that　he　had

set　his　heart　upon　my　property；　and　that

he　was　not　likely　easily　to　forego　such　an

acquisitionpossessing　what　might　have

been　considered　opportunities　and　facilities

almost　to　compel　my　compliance。



I　now　keenly　felt　the　unreasonableness

of　my　father's　conduct　in　placing　me　to

reside　with　a　family　of　all　whose　members；

with　one　exception；　he　was　wholly

ignorant；　and　I　bitterly　felt　the　helplessness

of　my　situation。　I　determined；　however；

in　case　of　my　cousin's　persevering　in

his　addresses；　to　lay　all　the　particulars

before　my　uncle；　although　he　had　never　in

kindness　or　intimacy　gone　a　step　beyond

our　first　interview；　and　to　throw　myself

upon　his　hospitality　and　his　sense　of　honour

for　protection　against　a　repetition　of　such

scenes。



My　cousin's　conduct　may　appear　to　have

been　an　inadequate　cause　for　such　serious

uneasiness；　but　my　alarm　was　caused

neither　by　his　acts　nor　words；　but　entirely

by　his　manner；　which　was　strange　and　even

intimidating　to　excess。　At　the　beginning

of　the　yesterday's　interview　there　was　a

sort　of　bullying　swagger　in　his　air；　which

towards　the　end　gave　place　to　the　brutal

vehemence　of　an　undisguised　ruffiana

transition　which　had　tempted　me　into　a　belief

that　he　might　seek　even　forcibly　to　extort

from　me　a　consent　to　his　wishes；　or　by

means　still　more　horrible；　of　which　I

scarcely　dared　to　trust　myself　to　think；

to　possess　himself　of　my　property。



I　was　early　next　day　summoned　to　attend

my　uncle　in　his　private　room；　which　lay　in

a　corner　turret　of　the　old　building；　and

thither　I　accordingly　went；　wondering　all

the　way　what　this　unusual　measure　might

prelude。　When　I　entered　the　room；　he

did　not　rise　in　his　usual　courteous　way　to

greet　me；　but　simply　pointed　to　a　chair

opposite　to　his　own。　This　boded　nothing

agreeable。　I　sat　down；　however；　silently

waiting　until　he　should　open　the　conversation。



'Lady　Margaret；'　at　length　he　said；　in　a

tone　of　greater　sternness　than　I　thought

him　capable　of　using；　'I　have　hitherto

spoken　to　you　as　a　friend；　but　I　have　not

forgotten　that　I　am　also　your　guardian；

and　that　my　authority　as　such　gives　me　a

right　to　control　your　conduct。　I　shall

put　a　question　to　you；　and　I　expect　and

will　demand　a　plain；　direct　answer。　Have

I　rightly　been　informed　that　you　have　con…

temptuously　rejected　the　suit　and　hand　of

my　son　Edward？'



I　stammered　forth　with　a　good　deal　of

trepidation：



'I　believethat　is；　I　have；　sir；　rejected

my　cousin's　proposals；　and　my　coldness

and　discouragement　might　have

convinced　him　that　I　had　determined　to

do　so。'



'Madam；'　replied　he；　with　suppressed；

but；　as　it　appeared　to　me；　intense　anger；

'I　have　lived　long　enough　to　know　that

COLDNESS　and　discouragement；　and　such

terms；　form　the　common　cant　of　a　worthless

coquette。　You　know　to　the　full；　as

well　as　I；　that　COLDNESS　AND　DISCOURAGEMENT

may　be　so　exhibited　as　to　convince

their　object　that　he　is　neither　distasteful

or　indifferent　to　the　person　who　wears　this

manner。　You　know；　too；　none　better；　that

an　affected　neglect；　when　skilfully　managed；

is　amongst　the　most　formidable　of　the

engines　which　artful　beauty　can　employ。

I　tell　you；　madam；　that　having；　without

one　word　spoken　in　discouragement；

permitted　my　son's　most　marked　attentions

for　a　twelvemonth　or　more；　you　have　no

right　to　dismiss　him　with　no　further

explanation　than　demurely　telling　him　that

you　had　always　looked　coldly　upon　him；

and　neither　your　wealth　nor　your　LADYSHIP'

（there　was　an　emphasis　of　scorn　on　the

word；　which　would　have　become　Sir

Giles　Overreach　himself）　'can　warrant　you

in　treating　with　contempt　the　affectionate

regard　of　an　honest　heart。'



I　was　too　much　shocked　at　this　undisguised

attempt　to　bully　me　into　an　acquiescence

in　the　interested　and　unprincipled

plan　for　their　own　aggrandisement；　which

I　now　perceived　my　uncle　and　his　son　to

have　deliberately　entered　into；　at　once　to

find　strength　or　collectedness　to　frame　an

answer　to　what　he　had　said。　At　length　I

replied；　with　some　firmness：



'In　all　that　you　have　just　now　said；　sir；

you　have　grossly　misstated　my　conduct　and

motives。　Your　information　must　have　been

most　incorrect　as　far　as　it　regards　my

conduct　towards　my　cousin；　my　manner

towards　him　could　have　conveyed　nothing

but　dislike；　and　if　anything　could　have

added　to　the　strong　aversion　which　I

have　long　felt　towards　him；　it　would　be

his　attempting　thus　to　trick　and　frighten

me　into　a　marriage　which　he　knows　to　be

revolting　to　me；　and　which　is　sought　by

him　only　as　a　means　for　securing　to

himself　whatever　property　is　mine。'



As　I　said　this；　I　fixed　my　eyes　upon

those　of　my　uncle；　but　he　was　too　old　in

the　world's　ways　to　falter　beneath　the

gaze　of　more　searching　eyes　than　mine；　he

simply　said：



'Are　you　acquainted　with　the　provisions

of　your　father's　will？'



I　answered　in　the　affirmative；　and　he

continued：



'Then　you　must　be　aware　that　if　my

son　Edward　werewhich　God　forbidthe

unprincipled；　reckless　man　you　pretend　to

think　him'（here　he　spoke　very　slowly；

as　if　he　intended　that　every　word　which

escaped　him　should　be　registered　in　my

memory；　while　at　the　same　time　the

expression　of　his　countenance　underwent　a

gradual　but　horrible　change；　and　the　eyes

which　he　fixed　upon　me　became　so　darkly

vivid；　that　I　almost　lost　sight　of　everything

else）'if　he　were　what　you　have

described　him；　think　you；　girl；　he　could

find　no　briefer　means　than　wedding

contracts　to　gain　his　ends？　'twas　but　to　gripe

your　slender　neck　until　the　breath　had

stopped；　and　lands；　and　lakes；　and　all　were

his。'



I　stood　staring　at　him　for　many　minutes

after　he　had　ceased　to　speak；　fascinated

by　the　terrible　serpent…like　gaze；　until　he

continued　with　a　welcome　change　of　countenance：



'I　will　not　speak　again　to　you　upon　this

topic　until　one　month　has　passed。　You

shall　have　time　to　consider　the　relative

advantages　of　the　two　courses　which　are

open　to　you。　I　should　be　sorry　to　hurry

you　to　a　decision。　I　am　satisfied　with

having　stated　my　feelings　upon　the　subject；

and　pointed　out　to　you　the　path　of　duty。

Remember　this　day　monthnot　one　word

sooner。'



He　then　rose；　and　I　left　the　room；　much

agitated　and　exhausted。



This　interview；　all　the　circumstances

attending　it；　but　most　particularly　the

formidable　expression　of　my　uncle's

countenance　while　he　talked；　though　hypothetically；

of　murder；　combined　to　arouse　all

my　worst　suspicions　of　him。　I　dreaded　to

look　upon　the　face　that　had　so　recently

worn　the　appalling　livery　of　guilt　and

malignity。　I　regarded　it　with　the

mingled　fear　and　loathing　with　which　one

looks　upon　an　object　which　has　tortured

them　in　a　nightmare。



In　a　few　days　after　the　interview；　the

particulars　of　which　I　have　just　related；　I

found　a　note　upon　my　toilet…table；　and　on

opening　it　I　read　as　follows：





　　　　　'MY　DEAR　LADY　MARGARET；

　　　　　　　　　　'You　will　be　perhaps　surprised　to

see　a　strange　face　in　your　room　to…day。　I

have　dismissed　your　Irish　maid；　and

secured　a　French　one　to　wait　upon　youa

step　rendered　necessary　by　my　proposing

shortly　to　visit　the　Continent；　with　all　my

family。

　　　　　　　　　　'Your　faithful　guardian；

　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　'ARTHUR　TN。'





On　inquiry；　I　found　that　my　faithful

attendant　was　actually　gone；　and　far　on

her　way　to　the　town　of　Galway；　and　in

her　stead　th