the purcell papers-2-第4节
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from society; and driven for companionship
to grades below his ownenjoying;
too; the dangerous prerogative of spending
much money。
However; you may easily suppose that
I found nothing in my cousin's communication
fully to bear me out in so very
decided a conclusion。
I awaited the arrival of my uncle;
which was every moment to be expected;
with feelings half of alarm; half of
curiositya sensation which I have often
since experienced; though to a less degree;
when upon the point of standing for the
first time in the presence of one of whom
I have long been in the habit of hearing
or thinking with interest。
It was; therefore; with some little
perturbation that I heard; first a slight
bustle at the outer door; then a slow step
traverse the hall; and finally witnessed the
door open; and my uncle enter the room。
He was a striking…looking man; from
peculiarities both of person and of garb; the
whole effect of his appearance amounted
to extreme singularity。 He was tall; and
when young his figure must have been
strikingly elegant; as it was; however; its
effect was marred by a very decided stoop。
His dress was of a sober colour; and in
fashion anterior to anything which I could
remember。 It was; however; handsome;
and by no means carelessly put on; but
what completed the singularity of his
appearance was his uncut; white hair;
which hung in long; but not at all
neglected curls; even so far as his shoulders;
and which combined with his regularly
classic features; and fine dark eyes; to
bestow upon him an air of venerable
dignity and pride; which I have never seen
equalled elsewhere。 I rose as he entered;
and met him about the middle of the
room; he kissed my cheek and both my
hands; saying:
'You are most welcome; dear child; as
welcome as the command of this poor
place and all that it contains can make
you。 I am most rejoiced to see you
truly rejoiced。 I trust that you are not
much fatiguedpray be seated again。'
He led me to my chair; and continued: 'I
am glad to perceive you have made
acquaintance with Emily already; I see;
in your being thus brought together; the
foundation of a lasting friendship。 You
are both innocent; and both young。 God
bless youGod bless you; and make you
all that I could wish。'
He raised his eyes; and remained for a
few moments silent; as if in secret prayer。
I felt that it was impossible that this man;
with feelings so quick; so warm; so tender;
could be the wretch that public opinion
had represented him to be。 I was more
than ever convinced of his innocence。
His manner was; or appeared to me;
most fascinating; there was a mingled
kindness and courtesy in it which seemed
to speak benevolence itself。 It was a
manner which I felt cold art could never
have taught; it owed most of its charm to
its appearing to emanate directly from the
heart; it must be a genuine index of the
owner's mind。 So I thought。
My uncle having given me fully to
understand that I was most welcome; and
might command whatever was his own;
pressed me to take some refreshment; and
on my refusing; he observed that previously
to bidding me good…night; he had one duty
further to perform; one in whose observance
he was convinced I would cheerfully
acquiesce。
He then proceeded to read a chapter
from the Bible; after which he took his
leave with the same affectionate kindness
with which he had greeted me; having
repeated his desire that I should consider
everything in his house as altogether at
my disposal。 It is needless to say that I
was much pleased with my uncleit was
impossible to avoid being so; and I could
not help saying to myself; if such a man
as this is not safe from the assaults of
slander; who is? I felt much happier than
I had done since my father's death; and
enjoyed that night the first refreshing
sleep which had visited me since that event。
My curiosity respecting my male cousin
did not long remain unsatisfiedhe
appeared the next day at dinner。 His
manners; though not so coarse as I had
expected; were exceedingly disagreeable;
there was an assurance and a forwardness
for which I was not prepared; there
was less of the vulgarity of manner; and
almost more of that of the mind; than I
had anticipated。 I felt quite uncomfortable
in his presence; there was just that
confidence in his look and tone which
would read encouragement even in mere
toleration; and I felt more disgusted and
annoyed at the coarse and extravagant
compliments which he was pleased from
time to time to pay me; than perhaps the
extent of the atrocity might fully have
warranted。 It was; however; one consolation
that he did not often appear; being
much engrossed by pursuits about which I
neither knew nor cared anything; but
when he did appear; his attentions; either
with a view to his amusement or to some
more serious advantage; were so obviously
and perseveringly directed to me; that
young and inexperienced as I was; even _I_
could not be ignorant of his preference。 I
felt more provoked by this odious persecution
than I can express; and discouraged
him with so much vigour; that I employed
even rudeness to convince him that his
assiduities were unwelcome; but all in
vain。
This had gone on for nearly a twelve…
month; to my infinite annoyance; when one
day as I was sitting at some needle…work
with my companion Emily; as was my
habit; in the parlour; the door opened;
and my cousin Edward entered the room。
There was something; I thought; odd in
his mannera kind of struggle between
shame and impudencea kind of flurry
and ambiguity which made him appear;
if possible; more than ordinarily disagreeable。
'Your servant; ladies;' he said; seating
himself at the same time; 'sorry to spoil
your tete…a…tete; but never mind; I'll only
take Emily's place for a minute or two;
and then we part for a while; fair cousin。
Emily; my father wants you in the corner
turret。 No shilly…shally; he's in a hurry。'
She hesitated。 'Be offtramp; march!'
he exclaimed; in a tone which the poor girl
dared not disobey。
She left the room; and Edward followed
her to the door。 He stood there for a
minute or two; as if reflecting what he
should say; perhaps satisfying himself
that no one was within hearing in the
hall。
At length he turned about; having closed
the door; as if carelessly; with his foot; and
advancing slowly; as if in deep thought; he
took his seat at the side of the table
opposite to mine。
There was a brief interval of silence;
after which he said:
'I imagine that you have a shrewd
suspicion of the object of my early visit; but
I suppose I must go into particulars。
Must I?'
'I have no conception;' I replied; 'what
your object may be。'
'Well; well;' said he; becoming more at
his ease as he proceeded; 'it may be told in
a few words。 You know that it is totally
impossiblequite out of the question
that an offhand young fellow like me; and
a good…looking girl like yourself; could
meet continually; as you and I have done;
without an attachmenta liking growing
up on one side or other; in short; I think
I have let you know as plain as if I spoke
it; that I have been in love with you
almost from the first time I saw
you。'
He paused; but I was too much horrified
to speak。 He interpreted my silence
favourably。
'I can tell you;' he continued; 'I'm
reckoned rather hard to please; and very
hard to HIT。 I can't say when I was taken
with a girl before; so you see fortune
reserved me'
Here the odious wretch wound his arm
round my waist。 The action at once
restored me to utterance; and with the most
indignant vehemence I released myself
from his hold; and at the same time
said:
'I have not been insensible; sir; of your
most disagreeable attentionsthey have
long been a source of much annoyance to
me; and you must be aware that I have
marked my disapprobationmy disgust
as unequivocally as I possibly could; without
actual indelicacy。'
I paused; almost out of breath from the
rapidity with which I had spoken; and
without giving him time to renew the
conversation; I hastily quitted the room;
leaving him in a paroxysm of rage and
mortification。 As I ascended the stairs;
I heard him open the parlour…door with
violence; and take two or three rapid strides
in the direction in which I was moving。 I
was now much frightened; and ran the
whole way until I reached my room; and
having locked the door; I listened breathlessly;
but heard no sound。 This relieved
me for the present; but so much had I
been overcome by the agitation and annoyance
attendant upon the scene which I had
just gone through; that when my cousin
Emily knocked at my door; I was weeping
in strong hysterics。
You wi