elizabeth and her german garden-第5节

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y　and　snowed　up　sometimes　for　weeks。

〃Ah；　these　husbands！〃　sighed　an　ample　lady；　lugubriously　shaking　her　head；　〃they　shut　up　their　wives　because　it　suits　them；　and　don't　care　what　their　sufferings　are。〃

Then　the　others　sighed　and　shook　their　heads　too；　for　the　ample　lady　was　a　great　local　potentate；　and　one　began　to　tell　how　another　dreadful　husband　had　brought　his　young　wife　into　the　country　and　had　kept　her　there；　concealing　her　beauty　and　accomplishments　from　the　public　in　a　most　cruel　manner；　and　how；　after　spending　a　certain　number　of　years　in　alternately　weeping　and　producing　progeny；　she　had　quite　lately　run　away　with　somebody　unspeakableI　think　it　was　the　footman；　or　the　baker；　or　some　one　of　that　sort。

〃But　I　am　quite　happy；〃　I　began；　as　soon　as　I　could　put　in　a　word。

〃Ah；　a　good　little　wife；　making　the　best　of　it；〃　and　the　female　potentate　patted　my　hand；　but　continued　gloomily　to　shake　her　head。

〃You　cannot　possibly　be　happy　in　the　winter　entirely　alone；〃　asserted　another　lady；　the　wife　of　a　high　military　authority　and　not　accustomed　to　be　contradicted。

〃But　I　am。〃

〃But　how　can　you　possibly　be　at　your　age？　　No；　it　is　not　possible。〃

〃But　I　_am_。〃

〃Your　husband　ought　to　bring　you　to　town　in　the　winter。〃

〃But　I　don't　want　to　be　brought　to　town。〃

〃And　not　let　you　waste　your　best　years　buried。〃　　　〃But　I　like　being　buried。〃

〃Such　solitude　is　not　right。〃

〃But　I'm　not　solitary。〃

〃And　can　come　to　no　good。〃　　She　was　getting　quite　angry。

There　was　a　chorus　of　No　Indeeds　at　her　last　remark；　and　renewed　shaking　of　heads。

〃I　enjoyed　the　winter　immensely；〃　I　persisted　when　they　were　a　little　quieter；　〃I　sleighed　and　skated；　and　then　there　were　the　children；　and　shelves　and　shelves　full　of〃　I　was　going　to　say　books；　but　stopped。　　Reading　is　an　occupation　for　men；　for　women　it　is　reprehensible　waste　of　time。　And　how　could　I　talk　to　them　of　the　happiness　I　felt　when　the　sun　shone　on　the　snow；　or　of　the　deep　delight　of　hear…frost　days？

〃It　is　entirely　my　doing　that　we　have　come　down　here；〃　I　proceeded；　〃and　my　husband　only　did　it　to　please　me。〃

〃Such　a　good　little　wife；〃　repeated　the　patronising　potentate；　again　patting　my　hand　with　an　air　of　understanding　all　about　it；　〃really　an　excellent　little　wife。　　But　you　must　not　let　your　husband　have　his　own　way　too　much；　my　dear；　and　take　my　advice　and　insist　on　his　bringing　you　to　town　next　winter。〃　　　And　then　they　fell　to　talking　about　their　cooks；　having　settled　to　their　entire　satisfaction　that　my　fate　was　probably　lying　in　wait　for　me　too；　lurking　perhaps　at　that　very　moment　behind　the　apparently　harmless　brass　buttons　of　the　man　in　the　hall　with　my　cloak。

I　laughed　on　the　way　home；　and　I　laughed　again　for　sheer　satisfaction　when　we　reached　the　garden　and　drove　between　the　quiet　trees　to　the　pretty　old　house；　and　when　I　went　into　the　library；　with　its　four　windows　open　to　the　moonlight　and　the　scent；　and　looked　round　at　the　familiar　bookshelves；　and　could　hear　no　sounds　but　sounds　of　peace；　and　knew　that　here　I　might　read　or　dream　or　idle　exactly　as　I　chose　with　never　a　creature　to　disturb　me；　how　grateful　I　felt　to　the　kindly　Fate　that　has　brought　me　here　and　given　me　a　heart　to　understand　my　own　blessedness；　and　rescued　me　from　a　life　like　that　I　had　just　seena　life　spent　with　the　odours　of　other　people's　dinners　in　one's　nostrils；　and　the　noise　of　their　wrangling　servants　in　one's　ears；　and　parties　and　tattle　for　all　amusement。

But　I　must　confess　to　having　felt　sometimes　quite　crushed　when　some　grand　person；　examining　the　details　of　my　home　through　her　eyeglass；　and　coolly　dissecting　all　that　I　so　much　prize　from　the　convenient　distance　of　the　open　window；　has　finished　up　by　expressing　sympathy　with　my　loneliness；　and　on　my　protesting　that　I　like　it；　has　murmured；　〃sebr　anspruchslos。〃　Then　indeed　I　have　felt　ashamed　of　the　fewness　of　my　wants；　but　only　for　a　moment；　and　only　under　the　withering　influence　of　the　eyeglass；　for；　after　all；　the　owner's　spirit　is　the　same　spirit　as　that　which　dwells　in　my　servantsgirls　whose　one　idea　of　happiness　is　to　live　in　a　town　where　there　are　others　of　their　sort　with　whom　to　drink　beer　and　dance　on　Sunday　afternoons。　The　passion　for　being　for　ever　with　one's　fellows；　and　the　fear　of　being　left　for　a　few　hours　alone；　is　to　me　wholly　incomprehensible。　I　can　entertain　myself　quite　well　for　weeks　together；　hardly　aware；　except　for　the　pervading　peace；　that　I　have　been　alone　at　all。　Not　but　what　I　like　to　have　people　staying　with　me　for　a　few　days；　or　even　for　a　few　weeks；　should　they　be　as　anspruchslos　as　I　am　myself；　and　content　with　simple　joys；　only；　any　one　who　comes　here　and　would　be　happy　must　have　something　in　him；　if　he　be　a　mere　blank　creature；　empty　of　head　and　heart；　he　will　very　probably　find　it　dull。　I　should　like　my　house　to　be　often　full　if　I　could　find　people　capable　of　enjoying　themselves。　　They　should　be　welcomed　and　sped　with　equal　heartiness；　for　truth　compels　me　to　confess　that；　though　it　pleases　me　to　see　them　come；　it　pleases　me　just　as　much　to　see　them　go。

On　some　very　specially　divine　days；　like　today；　I　have　actually　longed　for　some　one　else　to　be　here　to　enjoy　the　beauty　with　me。　There　has　been　rain　in　the　night；　and　the　whole　garden　seems　to　be　singingnot　the　untiring　birds　only；　but　the　vigorous　plants；　the　happy　grass　and　trees；　the　lilac　bushesoh；　those　lilac　bushes！　They　are　all　out　to…day；　and　the　garden　is　drenched　with　the　scent。　I　have　brought　in　armfuls；　the　picking　is　such　a　delight；　and　every　pot　and　bowl　and　tub　in　the　house　is　filled　with　purple　glory；　and　the　servants　think　there　is　going　to　be　a　party　and　are　extra　nimble；　and　I　go　from　room　to　room　gazing　at　the　sweetness；　and　the　windows　are　all　flung　open　so　as　to　join　the　scent　within　to　the　scent　without；　and　the　servants　gradually　discover　that　there　is　no　party；　and　wonder　why　the　house　should　be　filled　with　flowers　for　one　woman　by　herself；　and　I　long　more　and　more　for　a　kindred　spirit　it　seems　so　greedy　to　have　so　much　loveliness　to　oneselfbut　kindred　spirits　are　so　very；　very　rare；　I　might　almost　as　well　cry　for　the　moon。　It　is　true　that　my　garden　is　full　of　friends；　only　they　aredumb。


June　3rd。This　is　such　an　out…of…the…way　corner　of　the　world　that　it　requires　quite　unusual　energy　to　get　here　at　all；　and　I　am　thus　delivered　from　casual　callers；　while；　on　the　other　hand；　people　I　love；　or　people　who　love　me；　which　is　much　the　same　thing；　are　not　likely　to　be　deterred　from　coming　by　the　roundabout　train　journey　and　the　long　drive　at　the　end。　Not　the　least　of　my　many　blessings　is　that　we　have　only　one　neighbour。　If　you　have　to　have　neighbours　at　all；　it　is　at　least　a　mercy　that　there　should　be　only　one；　for　with　people　dropping　in　at　all　hours　and　wanting　to　talk　to　you；　how　are　you　to　get　on　with　your　life；　I　should　like　to　know；　and　read　your　books；　and　dream　your　dreams　to　your　satisfaction？　Besides；　there　is　always　the　certainty　that　either　you　or　the　dropper…in　will　say　something　that　would　have　been　better　left　unsaid；　and　I　have　a　holy　horror　of　gossip　and　mischief…making。　A　woman's　tongue　is　a　deadly　weapon　and　the　most　difficult　thing　in　the　world　to　keep　in　order；　and　things　slip　off　it　with　a　facility　nothing　short　of　appalling　at　the　very　moment　when　it　ought　to　be　most　quiet。　　In　such　cases　the　only　safe　course　is　to　talk　steadily　about　cooks　and　children；　and　to　pray　that　the　visit　may　not　be　too　prolonged；　for　if　it　is　you　are　lost。　Cooks　I　have　found　to　be　the　best　of　all　subjectsthe　most　phlegmatic　flush　into　life　at　the　mere　word；　and　the　joys　and　sufferings　connected　with　them　are　experiences　common　to　us　all。

Luckily；　our　neighbour　and　his　wife　are　both　busy　and　charming；　with　a　whole　troop　of　flaxenhaired　little　children　to　keep　them　occupied；　besides　the　business　of　their　large　estate。　Our　intercourse　is　arranged　on　lines　of　the　most　beautiful　simplicity。　　I　call　on　her　once　a　year；　and　she　returns　the　call　a　fortnight　later；　they　ask　us　to　dinner　in　the　summer；　and　we　ask　them　to　dinner　in　the　winter。　By　strictly　keeping　to　this；　we　avoid　all　danger　of　that　closer　friendship　which　is　only　another　name　for　frequent　quarrels。　She　is　a　pattern　of　what　a　German　country　lady　should　be；　and　is　not　only　a　pretty　woman　but　an　energetic　and　practical　one；　and　the　combination　is；　to　say　the　least；　effective。　She　is　up　at　daylight　superintending　the　feeding　of　the　stock；　the　butter…making；　the　sending　off　of　the　milk　for　sale；　a　thousand　things　get　done　while　most　people　are　fast　asleep；　and　before　lazy　folk　are　well　at　breakfast　she　is　off　in　her　pony…carriage　to　the　other　farms　on　the　place；　to　rate　the　〃mamsells；〃　as　the　head　women　are　called；　to　poke　into　every　corner；　lift　the　lids　off　the　saucepans；　count　the　new…laid　eggs；　and　box；　if　necessary；　any　careless　dairymaid's　ears。　We　are　allowed　by　law　to　administer　〃slight　corporal　punishment〃　to　our　servants；　it　being　left　entirely　to　individual　taste　to　decide　what　〃slight〃　shall　be；　and　my　neighbour　really　seems　to　enjoy　using　this　privilege；　judging　from　the　way　she　talks　about　it。　I　would　give　much　to　be　able　to　peep　through　a　keyhole　and　see　the　dauntless　little　lady；　terrible　in　her　wrath　and　dignity；　standing　on　tiptoe