elizabeth and her german garden-第24节

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y　will　let　it　run　wild　and　leave　it　to　return　to　the　state　in　which　I　found　it。　Or　perhaps　their　three　husbands　will　refuse　to　live　in　it；　or　to　come　to　such　a　lonely　place　at　all；　and　then　of　course　its　fate　is　sealed。　My　only　comfort　is　that　husbands　don't　flourish　in　the　desert；　and　that　the　three　will　have　to　wait　a　long　time　before　enough　are　found　to　go　round。　Mothers　tell　me　that　it　is　a　dreadful　business　finding　one　husband；　how　much　more　painful　then　to　have　to　look　for　three　at　once！the　babies　are　so　nearly　the　same　age　that　they　only　just　escaped　being　twins。　　But　I　won't　look。　I　can　imagine　nothing　more　uncomfortable　than　a　son…in…law；　and　besides；　I　don't　think　a　husband　is　at　all　a　good　thing　for　a　girl　to　have。　I　shall　do　my　best　in　the　years　at　my　disposal　to　train　them　so　to　love　the　garden；　and　out…door　life；　and　even　farming；　that；　if　they　have　a　spark　of　their　mother　in　them；　they　will　want　and　ask　for　nothing　better。　My　hope　of　success　is　however　exceedingly　small；　and　there　is　probably　a　fearful　period　in　store　for　me　when　I　shall　be　taken　every　day　during　the　winter　to　the　distant　towns　to　ballsa　poor　old　mother　shivering　in　broad　daylight　in　her　party　gown；　and　being　made　to　start　after　an　early　lunch　and　not　getting　home　till　breakfast…time　next　morning。　Indeed；　they　have　already　developed　an　alarming　desire　to　go　to　〃partings〃　as　they　call　them；　the　April　baby　announcing　her　intention　of　beginning　to　do　so　when　she　is　twelve。　　〃Are　you　twelve；　Mummy？〃　she　asked。

The　gardener　is　leaving　on　the　first　of　April；　and　I　am　trying　to　find　another。　　It　is　grievous　changing　so　often　in　two　years　I　shall　have　had　threebecause　at　each　change　a　great　part　of　my　plants　and　plans　necessarily　suffers。　Seeds　get　lost；　seedlings　are　not　pricked　out　in　time；　places　already　sown　are　planted　with　something　else；　and　there　is　confusion　out　of　doors　and　despair　in　my　heart。　But　he　was　to　have　married　the　cook；　and　the　cook　saw　a　ghost　and　immediately　left；　and　he　is　going　after　her　as　soon　as　he　can；　and　meanwhile　is　wasting　visibly　away。　　What　she　saw　was　doors　that　are　locked　opening　with　a　great　clatter　all　by　themselves　on　the　hingeside；　and　then　somebody　invisible　cursed　at　her。　These　phenomena　now　go　by　the　name　of　〃the　ghost。〃　She　asked　to　be　allowed　to　leave　at　once；　as　she　had　never　been　in　a　place　where　there　was　a　ghost　before。　I　suggested　that　she　should　try　and　get　used　to　it；　but　she　thought　it　would　be　wasting　time；　and　she　looked　so　ill　that　I　let　her　go；　and　the　garden　has　to　suffer。　I　don't　know　why　it　should　be　given　to　cooks　to　see　such　interesting　things　and　withheld　from　me；　but　I　have　had　two　others　since　she　left；　and　they　both　have　seen　the　ghost。　Minora　grows　very　silent　as　bed…time　approaches；　and　relents　towards　Irais　and　myself；　and；　after　having　shown　us　all　day　how　little　she　approves　us；　when　the　bedroom　candles　are　brought　she　quite　begins　to　cling。　　She　has　once　or　twice　anxiously　inquired　whether　Irais　is　sure　she　does　not　object　to　sleeping　alone。

〃If　you　are　at　all　nervous；　I　will　come　and　keep　you　company；〃　she　said；　〃I　don't　mind　at　all；　I　assure　you。〃

But　Irais　is　not　to　be　taken　in　by　such　simple　wiles；　and　has　told　me　she　would　rather　sleep　with　fifty　ghosts　than　with　one　Minora。

Since　Miss　Jones　was　so　unexpectedly　called　away　to　her　parent's　bedside　I　have　seen　a　good　deal　of　the　babies；　and　it　is　so　nice　without　a　governess　that　I　would　put　off　engaging　another　for　a　year　or　two；　if　it　were　not　that　I　should　in　so　doing　come　within　the　reach　of　the　arm　of　the　law；　which　is　what　every　German　spends　his　life　in　trying　to　avoid。　The　April　baby　will　be　six　next　month；　and；　after　her　sixth　birthday　is　passed；　we　are　liable　at　any　moment　to　receive　a　visit　from　a　school　inspector；　who　will　inquire　curiously　into　the　state　of　her　education；　and；　if　it　is　not　up　to　the　required　standard；　all　sorts　of　fearful　things　might　happen　to　the　guilty　parents；　probably　beginning　with　fines；　and　going　on　crescendo　to　dungeons　if；　owing　to　gaps　between　governesses　and　difficulties　in　finding　the　right　one；　we　persisted　in　our　evil　courses。　Shades　of　the　prison…house　begin　to　close　here　upon　the　growing　boy；　and　prisons　compass　the　Teuton　about　on　every　side　all　through　life　to　such　an　extent　that　he　has　to　walk　very　delicately　indeed　if　he　would　stay　outside　them　and　pay　for　their　maintenance。　Cultured　individuals　do　not；　as　a　rule；　neglect　to　teach　their　offspring　to　read；　and　write；　and　say　their　prayers；　and　are　apt　to　resent　the　intrusion　of　an　examining　inspector　into　their　homes；　but　it　does　not　much　matter　after　all；　and　I　daresay　it　is　very　good　for　us　to　be　worried；　indeed；　a　philosopher　of　my　acquaintance　declares　that　people　who　are　not　regularly　and　properly　worried　are　never　any　good　for　anything。　In　the　eye　of　the　law　we　are　all　sinners；　and　every　man　is　held　to　be　guilty　until　he　has　proved　that　he　is　innocent。

Minora　has　seen　so　much　of　the　babies　that；　after　vainly　trying　to　get　out　of　their　way　for　several　days；　she　thought　it　better　to　resign　herself；　and　make　the　best　of　it　by　regarding　them　as　copy；　and　using　them　to　fill　a　chapter　in　her　book。　So　she　took　to　dogging　their　footsteps　wherever　they　went；　attended　their　uprisings　and　their　lyings　down；　engaged　them；　if　she　could；　in　intelligent　conversation；　went　with　them　into　the　garden　to　study　their　ways　when　they　were　sleighing；　drawn　by　a　big　dog；　and　generally　made　their　lives　a　burden　to　them。　This　went　on　for　three　days；　and　then　she　settled　down　to　write　the　result　with　the　Man　of　Wrath's　typewriter；　borrowed　whenever　her　notes　for　any　chapter　have　reached　the　state　of　ripeness　necessary　for　the　process　she　describes　as　〃throwing　into　form。〃　She　writes　everything　with　a　typewriter；　even　her　private　letters。

〃Don't　forget　to　put　in　something　about　a　mother's　knee；〃　said　Irais；　〃you　can't　write　effectively　about　children　without　that。〃　　　〃Oh；　of　course　I　shall　mention　that；〃　replied　Minora。

〃And　pink　toes；〃　I　added。　　〃There　are　always　toes；　and　they　are　never　anything　but　pink。〃

〃I　have　that　somewhere；〃　said　Minora；　turning　over　her　notes。

〃But；　after　all；　babies　are　not　a　German　speciality；〃　said　Irais；　〃and　I　don't　quite　see　why　you　should　bring　them　into　a　book　of　German　travels。　Elizabeth's　babies　have　each　got　the　fashionable　number　of　arms　and　legs；　and　are　exactly　the　same　as　English　ones。〃

〃Oh；　but　they　can't　be　just　the　same；　you　know；〃　said　Minora；　looking　worried。　　〃It　must　make　a　difference　living　here　in　this　place；　and　eating　such　odd　things；　and　never　having　a　doctor；　and　never　being　ill。　Children　who　have　never　had　measles　and　those　things　can't　be　quite　the　same　as　other　children；　it　must　all　be　in　their　systems　and　can't　get　out　for　some　reason　or　other。　And　a　child　brought　up　on　chicken　and　rice…pudding　must　be　different　to　a　child　that　eats　Spickgans　and　liver　sausages。　And　they　are　different；　I　can't　tell　in　what　way；　but　they　certainly　are；　and　I　think　if　I　steadily　describe　them　from　the　materials　I　have　collected　the　last　three　days；　I　may　perhaps　hit　on　the　points　of　difference。〃

〃Why　bother　about　points　of　difference？〃　asked　Irais。　〃I　should　write　some　little　thing；　bringing　in　the　usual　parts　of　the　picture；　such　as　knees　and　toes；　and　make　it　mildly　pathetic。〃

〃But　it　is　by　no　means　an　easy　thing　for　me　to　do；〃　said　Minora　plaintively；　〃I　have　so　little　experience　of　children。〃

〃Then　why　write　it　at　all？〃　asked　that　sensible　person　Elizabeth。

〃I　have　as　little　experience　as　you；〃　said　Irais；　〃because　I　have　no　children；　but　if　you　don't　yearn　after　startling　originality；　nothing　is　easier　than　to　write　bits　about　them。　　I　believe　I　could　do　a　dozen　in　an　hour。〃

She　sat　down　at　the　writing…table；　took　up　an　old　letter；　and　scribbled　for　about　five　minutes。　　〃There；〃　she　said；　throwing　it　to　Minora；　〃you　may　have　itpink　toes　and　all　complete。〃

Minora　put　on　her　eye…glasses　and　read　aloud：

〃When　my　baby　shuts　her　eyes　and　sings　her　hymns　at　bed…time　my　stale　and　battered　soul　is　filled　with　awe。　All　sorts　of　vague　memories　crowd　into　my　mind　memories　of　my　own　mother　and　myselfhow　many　years　ago！　of　the　sweet　helplessness　of　being　gathered　up　half　asleep　in　her　arms；　and　undressed；　and　put　in　my　cot；　without　being　wakened；　of　the　angels　I　believed　in；　of　little　children　coming　straight　from　heaven；　and　still　being　surrounded；　so　long　as　they　were　good；　by　the　shadow　of　white　wings；all　the　dear　poetic　nonsense　learned；　just　as　my　baby　is　learning　it；　at　her　mother's　knee。　She　has　not　an　idea　of　the　beauty　of　the　charming　things　she　is　told；　and　stares　wide…eyed；　with　heavenly　eyes；　while　her　mother　talks　of　the　heaven　she　has　so　lately　come　from；　and　is　relieved　and　comforted　by　the　interrupting　bread　and　milk。　At　two　years　old　she　does　not　understand　angels；　and　does　understand　bread　and　milk；　at　five　she　has　vague　notions　about　them；　and　prefers　bread　and　milk；　at　ten　both　bread　and　milk　and　angels　have　been　left　behind　in　the　nursery；　and　she　has　already　found　out　that　they　are　luxuries　not　necessary　to　her　everyday　life。　　In　later　years　she　may　be　disinclined　to　accept　truths　second…hand；　insist　on　thinking　for　herself；　be　earnest　in　her　desire　to　shake　off