太子爷小说网 > 英语电子书 > the dark flower >

第43节

the dark flower-第43节

小说: the dark flower 字数: 每页4000字

按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页,按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页,按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部!
————未阅读完?加入书签已便下次继续阅读!



got her!  She could not break back up that hill; and there was no
other cover for fully half a mile。

Then he saw; not thirty yards in front; an old sandpit; and Great
God! she was going straight at it!  And shouting frantically; he
reined his mare outwards。  But she only raised her whip; cut the
magpie horse over the flank; and rode right on。  He saw that little
demon gather its feet and springdown; down; saw him pitch;
struggle; sinkand she; flung forward; roll over and lie on her
back。  He felt nothing at the moment; only had that fixed vision of
a yellow patch of sand; the blue sky; a rook flying; and her face
upturned。  But when he came on her she was on her feet; holding the
bridle of her dazed horse。  No sooner did he touch her; than she
sank down。  Her eyes were closed; but he could feel that she had
not fainted; and he just held her; and kept pressing his lips to
her eyes and forehead。  Suddenly she let her head fall back; and
her lips met his。  Then opening her eyes; she said: 〃I'm not hurt;
onlyfunny。  Has Magpie cut his knees?〃

Not quite knowing what he did; he got up to look。  The little horse
was cropping at some grass; unharmedthe sand and fern had saved
his knees。  And the languid voice behind him said: 〃It's all right
you can leave the horses。  They'll come when I call。〃

Now that he knew she was unhurt; he felt angry。  Why had she
behaved in this mad waygiven him this fearful shock?  But in that
same languid voice she went on: 〃Don't be cross with me。  I thought
at first I'd pull up; but then I thought: 'If I jump he can't help
being nice'so I did  Don't leave off loving me because I'm not
hurt; please。〃

Terribly moved; he sat down beside her; took her hands in his; and
said:

〃Nell!  Nell! it's all wrongit's madness!〃

〃Why?  Don't think about it!  I don't want you to thinkonly to
love me。〃

〃My child; you don't know what love is!〃

For answer she only flung her arms round his neck; then; since he
held back from kissing her; let them fall again; and jumped up。

〃Very well。  But I love you。  You can think of THATyou can't
prevent me!〃  And without waiting for help; she mounted the magpie
horse from the sand…heap where they had fallen。

Very sober that ride home!  The horses; as if ashamed of their mad
chase; were edging close to each other; so that now and then his
arm would touch her shoulder。  He asked her once what she had felt
while she was jumping。

〃Only to be sure my foot was free。  It was rather horrid coming
down; thinking of Magpie's knees;〃 and touching the little horse's
goat…like ears; she added softly: 〃Poor dear!  He'll be stiff to…
morrow。〃

She was again only the confiding; rather drowsy; child。  Or was it
that the fierceness of those past moments had killed his power of
feeling?  An almost dreamy hourwith the sun going down; the lamps
being lighted one by oneand a sort of sweet oblivion over
everything!

At the door; where the groom was waiting; Lennan would have said
good…bye; but she whispered: 〃Oh; no; please!  I AM tired nowyou
might help me up a little。〃

And so; half carrying her; he mounted past the Vanity Fair
cartoons; and through the corridor with the red paper and the Van
Beers' drawings; into the room where he had first seen her。

Once settled back in Dromore's great chair; with the purring kitten
curled up on her neck; she murmured:

〃Isn't it nice?  You can make tea; and we'll have hot buttered
toast。〃

And so Lennan stayed; while the confidential man brought tea and
toast; and; never once looking at them; seemed to know all that had
passed; all that might be to come。

Then they were alone again; and; gazing down at her stretched out
in that great chair; Lennan thought:

〃Thank God that I'm tired toobody and soul!〃

But suddenly she looked up at him; and pointing to the picture that
to…day had no curtain drawn; said:

〃Do you think I'm like her?  I made Oliver tell me aboutmyself
this summer。  That's why you needn't bother。  It doesn't matter
what happens to me; you see。  And I don't carebecause you can
love me; without feeling bad about it。  And you will; won't you?〃

Then; with her eyes still on his face; she went on quickly:

〃Only we won't talk about that now; will we?  It's too cosy。  I AM
nice and tired。  Do smoke!〃

But Lennan's fingers trembled so that he could hardly light that
cigarette。  And; watching them; she said: 〃Please give me one。  Dad
doesn't like my smoking。〃

The virtue of Johnny Dromore!  Yes!  It would always be by proxy!
And he muttered:

〃How do you think he would like to know about this afternoon;
Nell?〃

〃I don't care。〃  Then peering up through the kitten's fur she
murmured: 〃Oliver wants me to go to a dance on Saturdayit's for a
charity。  Shall I?〃

〃Of course; why not?〃

〃Will YOU come?〃

〃I?〃

〃Oh; do!  You must!  It's my very first; you know。  I've got an
extra ticket。〃

And against his will; his judgmenteverything; Lennan answered:
〃Yes。〃

She clapped her hands; and the kitten crawled down to her knees。

When he got up to go; she did not move; but just looked up at him;
and how he got away he did not know。

Stopping his cab a little short of home; he ran; for he felt cold
and stiff; and letting himself in with his latch…key; went straight
to the drawing…room。  The door was ajar; and Sylvia standing at the
window。  He heard her sigh; and his heart smote him。  Very still;
and slender; and lonely she looked out there; with the light
shining on her fair hair so that it seemed almost white。  Then she
turned and saw him。  He noticed her throat working with the effort
she made not to show him anything; and he said:

〃Surely you haven't been anxious!  Nell had a bit of a fall
jumping into a sandpit。  She's quite mad sometimes。  I stayed to
tea with herjust to make sure she wasn't really hurt。〃  But as he
spoke he loathed himself; his voice sounded so false。

She only answered: 〃It's all right; dear;〃 but he saw that she kept
her eyesthose blue; too true eyesaverted; even when she kissed
him。

And so began another evening and night and morning of fever;
subterfuge; wariness; aching。  A round of half…ecstatic torment;
out of which he seemed no more able to break than a man can break
through the walls of a cell。 。 。 。

Though it live but a day in the sun; though it drown in tenebrous
night; the dark flower of passion will have its hour。 。 。 。


XII


To deceive undoubtedly requires a course of training。  And;
unversed in this art; Lennan was fast finding it intolerable to
scheme and watch himself; and mislead one who had looked up to him
ever since they were children。  Yet; all the time; he had a feeling
that; since he alone knew all the circumstances of his case; he
alone was entitled to blame or to excuse himself。  The glib
judgments that moralists would pass upon his conduct could be
nothing but the imbecilities of smug and pharisaic foolsof those
not under this drugging spellof such as had not blood enough;
perhaps; ever to fall beneath it!

The day after the ride Nell had not come; and he had no word from
her。  Was she; then; hurt; after all?  She had lain back very
inertly in that chair!  And Sylvia never asked if he knew how the
girl was after her fall; nor offered to send round to inquire。  Did
she not wish to speak of her; or had she simplynot believed?
When there was so much he could not talk of it seemed hard that
just what happened to be true should be distrusted。  She had not
yet; indeed; by a single word suggested that she felt he was
deceiving her; but at heart he knew that she was not deceived。 。 。 。
Those feelers of a woman who lovescan anything check their
delicate apprehension? 。 。 。

Towards evening; the longing to see the girla sensation as if she
were calling him to come to herbecame almost insupportable; yet;
whatever excuse he gave; he felt that Sylvia would know where he
was going。  He sat on one side of the fire; she on the other; and
they both read books; the only strange thing about their reading
was; that neither of them ever turned a leaf。  It was 'Don Quixote'
he read; the page which had these words: 〃Let Altisidora weep or
sing; still I am Dulcinea's and hers alone; dead or alive; dutiful
and unchanged; in spite of all the necromantic powers in the
world。〃  And so the evening passed。  When she went up to bed; he
was very near to stealing out; driving up to the Dromores' door;
and inquiring of the confidential man; but the thought of the
confounded fellow's eyes was too much for him; and he held out。  He
took up Sylvia's book; De Maupassant's 'Fort comme la mort'open
at the page where the poor woman finds that her lover has passed
away from her to her own daughter。  And as he read; the tears
rolled down his cheek。  Sylvia!  Sylvia!  Were not his old
favourite words from that old favourite book still true?  〃Dulcinea
del Toboso is the most beautiful woman in the world; and I the most
unfortunate knight upon the earth。  It were unjust that such
perfection should suffer through my weakness。  No; pierce my body
with your lance; knight; and let my life expire with my honour。 。 。 。〃
Why could he not wrench this feeling from his heart; banis

返回目录 上一页 下一页 回到顶部 0 0

你可能喜欢的