sartor resartus-第28节
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we have traced from its tiniest fountains； and hoped to see flow onward； with increasing current； into the ocean； here dashes itself over that terrific Lover's Leap； and； as a mad…foaming cataract； flies wholly into tumultuous clouds of spray！ Low down it indeed collects again into pools and plashes； yet only at a great distance； and with difficulty； if at all； into a general stream。 To cast a glance into certain of those pools and plashes； and trace whither they run； must； for a chapter or two； form the limit of our endeavor。
For which end doubtless those direct historical Notices； where they can be met with； are the best。 Nevertheless； of this sort too there occurs much； which； with our present light； it were questionable to emit。 Teufelsdrockh vibrating everywhere between the highest and the lowest levels； comes into contact with public History itself。 For example； those conversations and relations with illustrious Persons； as Sultan Mahmoud； the Emperor Napoleon； and others； are they not as yet rather of a diplomatic character than of a biographic？ The Editor； appreciating the sacredness of crowned heads； nay perhaps suspecting the possible trickeries of a Clothes…Philosopher； will eschew this province for the present； a new time may bring new insight and a different duty。
If we ask now； not indeed with what ulterior Purpose； for there was none； yet with what immediate outlooks； at all events； in what mood of mind； the Professor undertook and prosecuted this world…pilgrimage；the answer is more distinct than favorable。 〃A nameless Unrest；〃 says he； 〃urged me forward； to which the outward motion was some momentary lying solace。 Whither should I go？ My Loadstars were blotted out； in that canopy of grim fire shone no star。 Yet forward must I； the ground burnt under me； there was no rest for the sole of my foot。 I was alone； alone！ Ever too the strong inward longing shaped Phantasms for itself： towards these； one after the other； must I fruitlessly wander。 A feeling I had； that for my fever…thirst there was and must be somewhere a healing Fountain。 To many fondly imagined Fountains； the Saints' Wells of these days； did I pilgrim； to great Men； to great Cities； to great Events： but found there no healing。 In strange countries； as in the well…known； in savage deserts； as in the press of corrupt civilization； it was ever the same： how could your Wanderer escape from_his own Shadow_？ Nevertheless still Forward！ I felt as if in great haste； to do I saw not what。 From the depths of my own heart； it called to me； Forwards！ The winds and the streams； and all Nature sounded to me； Forwards！ _Ach Gott_； I was even； once for all； a Son of Time。〃
From which is it not clear that the internal Satanic School was still active enough？ He says elsewhere： 〃The _Enchiridion of Epictetus_ I had ever with me； often as my sole rational companion； and regret to mention that the nourishment it yielded was trifling。〃 Thou foolish Teufelsdrockh How could it else？ Hadst thou not Greek enough to understand thus much： _The end of Man is an Action； and not a Thought_； though it were the noblest？
〃How I lived？〃 writes he once： 〃Friend； hast thou considered the 'rugged all…nourishing Earth；' as Sophocles well names her； how she feeds the sparrow on the house…top； much more her darling； man？ While thou stirrest and livest； thou hast a probability of victual。 My breakfast of tea has been cooked by a Tartar woman； with water of the Amur； who wiped her earthen kettle with a horse…tail。 I have roasted wild eggs in the sand of Sahara； I have awakened in Paris _Estrapades_ and Vienna _Malzleins_； with no prospect of breakfast beyond elemental liquid。 That I had my Living to seek saved me from Dying；by suicide。 In our busy Europe； is there not an everlasting demand for Intellect； in the chemical； mechanical； political； religious； educational； commercial departments？ In Pagan countries； cannot one write Fetishes？ Living！ Little knowest thou what alchemy is in an inventive Soul； how； as with its little finger； it can create provision enough for the body （of a Philosopher）； and then； as with both hands； create quite other than provision； namely； spectres to torment itself withal。〃
Poor Teufelsdrockh！ Flying with Hunger always parallel to him； and a whole Infernal Chase in his rear； so that the countenance of Hunger is comparatively a friend's！ Thus must he； in the temper of ancient Cain； or of the modern Wandering Jew；save only that he feels himself not guilty and but suffering the pains of guilt；wend to and fro with aimless speed。 Thus must he； over the whole surface of the Earth （by footprints）； write his _Sorrows of Teufelsdrockh_； even as the great Goethe； in passionate words； had to write his _Sorrows of Werter_； before the spirit freed herself； and he could become a Man。 Vain truly is the hope of your swiftest Runner to escape 〃from his own Shadow〃！ Nevertheless； in these sick days； when the Born of Heaven first descries himself （about the age of twenty） in a world such as ours； richer than usual in two things； in Truths grown obsolete； and Trades grown obsolete；what can the fool think but that it is all a Den of Lies； wherein whoso will not speak Lies and act Lies； must stand idle and despair？ Whereby it happens that； for your nobler minds； the publishing of some such Work of Art； in one or the other dialect； becomes almost a necessity。 For what is it properly but an Altercation with the Devil； before you begin honestly Fighting him？ Your Byron publishes his _Sorrows of Lord George_； in verse and in prose； and copiously otherwise： your Bonaparte represents his _Sorrows of Napoleon_ Opera； in an all…too stupendous style； with music of cannon…volleys； and murder…shrieks of a world； his stage…lights are the fires of Conflagration； his rhyme and recitative are the tramp of embattled Hosts and the sound of falling Cities。Happier is he who； like our Clothes…Philosopher； can write such matter； since it must be written； on the insensible Earth； with his shoe…soles only； and also survive the writing thereof！
CHAPTER VII。 THE EVERLASTING NO。
Under the strange nebulous envelopment； wherein our Professor has now shrouded himself； no doubt but his spiritual nature is nevertheless progressive； and growing： for how can the 〃Son of Time；〃 in any case； stand still？ We behold him； through those dim years； in a state of crisis； of transition： his mad Pilgrimings； and general solution into aimless Discontinuity； what is all this but a mad Fermentation； wherefrom the fiercer it is； the clearer product will one day evolve itself？
Such transitions are ever full of pain： thus the Eagle when he moults is sickly； and； to attain his new beak； must harshly dash off the old one upon rocks。 What Stoicism soever our Wanderer； in his individual acts and motions； may affect； it is clear that there is a hot fever of anarchy and misery raging within； coruscations of which flash out： as； indeed； how could there be other？ Have we not seen him disappointed； bemocked of Destiny； through long years？ All that the young heart might desire and pray for has been denied； nay； as in the last worst instance； offered and then snatched away。 Ever an 〃excellent Passivity；〃 but of useful； reasonable Activity； essential to the former as Food to Hunger； nothing granted： till at length； in this wild Pilgrimage； he must forcibly seize for himself an Activity； though useless； unreasonable。 Alas； his cup of bitterness； which had been filling drop by drop； ever since that first 〃ruddy morning〃 in the Hinterschlag Gymnasium； was at the very lip； and then with that poison…drop； of the Towgood…and…Blumine business； it runs over； and even hisses over in a deluge of foam。
He himself says once； with more justness than originality： 〃Men is； properly speaking； based upon Hope； he has no other possession but Hope； this world of his is emphatically the Place of Hope。〃 What； then； was our Professor's possession？ We see him； for the present； quite shut out from Hope； looking not into the golden orient； but vaguely all round into a dim copper firmament； pregnant with earthquake and tornado。
Alas； shut out from Hope； in a deeper sense than we yet dream of！ For； as he wanders wearisomely through this world； he has now lost all tidings of another and higher。 Full of religion； or at least of religiosity； as our Friend has since exhibited himself； he hides not that； in those days； he was wholly irreligious： 〃Doubt had darkened into Unbelief；〃 says he； 〃shade after shade goes grimly over your soul； till you have the fixed； starless； Tartarean black。〃 To such readers as have reflected； what can be called reflecting； on man's life； and happily discovered； in contradiction to much Profit…and…Loss Philosophy； speculative and practical； that Soul is not synonymous with Stomach； who understand； therefore； in our Friend's words； 〃that； for man's well…being； Faith is properly the one thing needful； how； with it； Martyrs； otherwise weak； can cheerfully endure the shame and the cross； and without it； Worldlings puke up their sick existence； by suicide； in the midst of luxury：〃 to such it will be clear that； for a pure moral nature； the loss of his religious Belief was
