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〃You see two individuals;〃 he writes; 〃one dressed in fine Red; the other in coarse threadbare Blue:  Red says to Blue; 'Be hanged and anatomized;' Blue hears with a shudder; and (O wonder of wonders!) marches sorrowfully to the gallows; is there noosed up; vibrates his hour; and the surgeons dissect him; and fit his bones into a skeleton for medical purposes。  How is this; or what make ye of your _Nothing can act but where it is_?  Red has no physical hold of Blue; no _clutch_ of him; is nowise in _contact_ with him:  neither are those ministering Sheriffs and Lord…Lieutenants and Hangmen and Tipstaves so related to commanding Red; that he can tug them hither and thither; but each stands distinct within his own skin。 Nevertheless; as it is spoken; so is it done:  the articulated Word sets all hands in Action; and Rope and Improved…drop perform their work。

〃Thinking reader; the reason seems to me twofold:  First; that _Man is a Spirit_; and bound by invisible bonds to _All Men_; secondly; that _he wears Clothes_; which are the visible emblems of that fact。  Has not your Red hanging…individual a horsehair wig; squirrel…skins; and a plush…gown; whereby all mortals know that he is a JUDGE?Society; which the more I think of it astonishes me the more; is founded upon Cloth。

〃Often in my atrabiliar moods; when I read of pompous ceremonials; Frankfort Coronations; Royal Drawing…rooms; Levees; Couchees; and how the ushers and macers and pursuivants are all in waiting; how Duke this is presented by Archduke that; and Colonel A by General B; and innumerable Bishops; Admirals; and miscellaneous Functionaries; are advancing gallantly to the Anointed Presence; and I strive; in my remote privacy; to form a clear picture of that solemnity;on a sudden; as by some enchanter's wand; theshall I speak it?the Clothes fly off the whole dramatic corps; and Dukes; Grandees; Bishops; Generals; Anointed Presence itself; every mother's son of them; stand straddling there; not a shirt on them; and I know not whether to laugh or weep。  This physical or psychical infirmity; in which perhaps I am not singular; I have; after hesitation; thought right to publish; for the solace of those afflicted with the like。〃

Would to Heaven; say we; thou hadst thought right to keep it secret!  Who is there now that can read the five columns of Presentations in his Morning Newspaper without a shudder?  Hypochondriac men; and all men are to a certain extent hypochondriac; should be more gently treated。  With what readiness our fancy; in this shattered state of the nerves; follows out the consequences which Teufelsdrockh; with a devilish coolness; goes on to draw:

〃What would Majesty do; could such an accident befall in reality; should the buttons all simultaneously start; and the solid wool evaporate; in very Deed; as here in Dream?  _Ach Gott_!  How each skulks into the nearest hiding…place; their high State Tragedy (_Haupt… und Staats…Action_) becomes a Pickleherring…Farce to weep at; which is the worst kind of Farce; _the tables_ (according to Horace); and with them; the whole fabric of Government; Legislation; Property; Police; and Civilized Society; _are dissolved_; in wails and howls。〃

Lives the man that can figure a naked Duke of Windlestraw addressing a naked House of Lords?  Imagination; choked as in mephitic air; recoils on itself; and will not forward with the picture。  The Woolsack; the Ministerial; the Opposition Benches_infandum! infandum_!  And yet why is the thing impossible?  Was not every soul; or rather every body; of these Guardians of our Liberties; naked; or nearly so; last night; 〃a forked Radish with a head fantastically carved〃?  And why might he not; did our stern fate so order it; walk out to St。 Stephen's; as well as into bed; in that no…fashion; and there; with other similar Radishes; hold a Bed of Justice?  〃Solace of those afflicted with the like!〃  Unhappy Teufelsdrockh; had man ever such a 〃physical or psychical infirmity〃 before?  And now how many; perhaps; may thy unparalleled confession (which we; even to the sounder British world; and goaded on by Critical and Biographical duty; grudge to reimpart) incurably infect therewith!  Art thou the malignest of Sansculottists; or only the maddest?

〃It will remain to be examined;〃 adds the inexorable Teufelsdrockh; 〃in how far the SCARECROW; as a Clothed Person; is not also entitled to benefit of clergy; and English trial by jury:  nay perhaps; considering his high function (for is not he too a Defender of Property; and Sovereign armed with the _terrors_ of the Law?); to a certain royal Immunity and Inviolability; which; however; misers and the meaner class of persons are not always voluntarily disposed to grant him。〃

〃O my Friends; we are 'in Yorick Sterne's words' but as 'turkeys driven; with a stick and red clout; to the market:'  or if some drivers; as they do in Norfolk; take a dried bladder and put peas in it; the rattle thereof terrifies the boldest!〃


CHAPTER X。 PURE REASON。

It must now be apparent enough that our Professor; as above hinted; is a speculative Radical; and of the very darkest tinge; acknowledging; for most part; in the solemnities and paraphernalia of civilized Life; which we make so much of; nothing but so many Cloth…rags; turkey…poles; and 〃bladders with dried peas。〃  To linger among such speculations; longer than mere Science requires; a discerning public can have no wish。  For our purposes the simple fact that such a _Naked World_ is possible; nay actually exists (under the Clothed one); will be sufficient。  Much; therefore; we omit about 〃Kings wrestling naked on the green with Carmen;〃 and the Kings being thrown:  〃dissect them with scalpels;〃 says Teufelsdrockh; 〃the same viscera; tissues; livers; lights; and other life…tackle; are there: examine their spiritual mechanism; the same great Need; great Greed; and little Faculty; nay ten to one but the Carman; who understands draught…cattle; the rimming of wheels; something of the laws of unstable and stable equilibrium; with other branches of wagon…science; and has actually put forth his hand and operated on Nature; is the more cunningly gifted of the two。  Whence; then; their so unspeakable difference?  From Clothes。〃  Much also we shall omit about confusion of Ranks; and Joan and My Lady; and how it would be everywhere 〃Hail fellow well met;〃 and Chaos were come again:  all which to any one that has once fairly pictured out the grand mother…idea; _Society in a state of Nakedness_; will spontaneously suggest itself。  Should some sceptical individual still entertain doubts whether in a world without Clothes; the smallest Politeness; Polity; or even Police; could exist; let him turn to the original Volume; and view there the boundless Serbonian Bog of Sansculottism; stretching sour and pestilential:  over which we have lightly flown; where not only whole armies but whole nations might sink! If indeed the following argument; in its brief riveting emphasis; be not of itself incontrovertible and final:

〃Are we Opossums; have we natural Pouches; like the Kangaroo?  Or how; without Clothes; could we possess the master…organ; soul's seat; and true pineal gland of the Body Social:  I mean; a PURSE?〃

Nevertheless it is impossible to hate Professor Teufelsdrockh; at worst; one knows not whether to hate or to love him。  For though; in looking at the fair tapestry of human Life; with its royal and even sacred figures; he dwells not on the obverse alone; but here chiefly on the reverse; and indeed turns out the rough seams; tatters; and manifold thrums of that unsightly wrong…side; with an almost diabolic patience and indifference; which must have sunk him in the estimation of most readers; there is that within which unspeakably distinguishes him from all other past and present Sansculottists。  The grand unparalleled peculiarity of Teufelsdrockh is; that with all this Descendentalism; he combines a Transcendentalism; no less superlative; whereby if on the one hand he degrade man below most animals; except those jacketed Gouda Cows; he; on the other; exalts him beyond the visible Heavens; almost to an equality with the Gods。

〃To the eye of vulgar Logic;〃 says he; 〃what is man?  An omnivorous Biped that wears Breeches。  To the eye of Pure Reason what is he?  A Soul; a Spirit; and divine Apparition。  Round his mysterious ME; there lies; under all those wool…rags; a Garment of Flesh (or of Senses); contextured in the Loom of Heaven; whereby he is revealed to his like; and dwells with them in UNION and DIVISION; and sees and fashions for himself a Universe; with azure Starry Spaces; and long Thousands of Years。  Deep…hidden is he under that strange Garment; amid Sounds and Colors and Forms; as it were; swathed in; and inextricably over…shrouded:  yet it is sky…woven; and worthy of a God。  Stands he not thereby in the centre of Immensities; in the conflux of Eternities?  He feels; power has been given him to know; to believe; nay does not the spirit of Love; free in its celestial primeval brightness; even here; though but for moments; look through?  Well said Saint Chrysostom; with his lips of gold; 'the true SHEKINAH is Man:'  where else is the GOD'S…PRESENCE manifested not to our eyes only; but to our hearts; a

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