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the old bachelor-第5节

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 (bless us) almost if he be by。  Ah! had he been with me last night …

SHARP。  If he had; sir; what then? he could have done no more; nor perhaps have suffered so much。  Had he a hundred pound to lose? 'Angrily'

SIR JO。  O Lord; sir; by no means; but I might have saved a hundred pound:  I meant innocently; as I hope to be saved; sir (a damned hot fellow); only; as I was saying; I let him have all my ready money to redeem his great sword from limbo。  But; sir; I have a letter of credit to Alderman Fondlewife; as far as two hundred pound; and this afternoon you shall see I am a person; such a one as you would wish to have met with …

SHARP。  That you are; I'll be sworn。  'Aside。'  Why; that's great and like yourself。


SCENE II。


'To them' CAPTAIN BLUFFE。

SIR JO。  Oh; here a' comesAy; my Hector of Troy; welcome; my bully; my Back; agad; my heart has gone a pit pat for thee。

BLUFF。  How now; my young knight?  Not for fear; I hope; he that knows me must be a stranger to fear。

SIR JO。  Nay; agad; I hate fear ever since I had like to have died of a fright。  But …

BLUFF。  But?  Look you here; boy; here's your antidote; here's your Jesuits' powder for a shaking fit。  But who hast thou got with thee? is he of mettle?  'Laying his hand upon his sword。'

SIR JO。  Ay; bully; a devilish smart fellow:  'a will fight like a cock。

BLUFF。  Say you so?  Then I honour him。  But has he been abroad? for every cock will fight upon his own dunghill。

SIR JO。  I don't know; but I'll present you …

BLUFF。  I'll recommend myself。  Sir; I honour you; I understand you love fighting; I reverence a man that loves fighting。  Sir; I kiss your hilts。

SHARP。  Sir; your servant; but you are misinformed; for; unless it be to serve my particular friend; as Sir Joseph here; my country; or my religion; or in some very justifiable cause; I'm not for it。

BLUFF。  O Lord; I beg your pardon; sir; I find you are not of my palate:  you can't relish a dish of fighting without sweet sauce。 Now; I think fighting for fighting sake's sufficient cause; fighting to me's religion and the laws。

SIR JO。  Ah; well said; my Hero; was not that great; sir? by the Lord Harry he says true; fighting is meat; drink; and cloth to him。 But; Back; this gentleman is one of the best friends I have in the world; and saved my life last nightyou know I told you。

BLUFF。  Ay!  Then I honour him again。  Sir; may I crave your name?

SHARP。  Ay; sir; my name's Sharper。

SIR JO。  Pray; Mr。 Sharper; embrace my Back。  Very well。  By the Lord Harry; Mr。 Sharper; he's as brave a fellow as Cannibal; are not you; Bully…Back?

SHARP。  Hannibal; I believe you mean; Sir Joseph。

BLUFF。  Undoubtedly he did; sir; faith; Hannibal was a very pretty fellowbut; Sir Joseph; comparisons are odiousHannibal was a very pretty fellow in those days; it must be grantedbut alas; sir! were he alive now; he would be nothing; nothing in the earth。

SHARP。  How; sir!  I make a doubt if there be at this day a greater general breathing。

BLUFF。  Oh; excuse me; sir!  Have you served abroad; sir?

SHARP。  Not I; really; sir。

BLUFF。  Oh; I thought so。  Why; then; you can know nothing; sir:  I am afraid you scarce know the history of the late war in Flanders; with all its particulars。

SHARP。  Not I; sir; no more than public letters or gazettes tell us。

BLUFF。  Gazette!  Why there again now。  Why; sir; there are not three words of truth the year round put into the Gazette。  I'll tell you a strange thing now as to that。  You must know; sir; I was resident in Flanders the last campaign; had a small post there; but no matter for that。  Perhaps; sir; there was scarce anything of moment done but an humble servant of yours; that shall be nameless; was an eye…witness of。  I won't say had the greatest share in't; though I might say that too; since I name nobody you know。  Well; Mr。 Sharper; would you think it?  In all this time; as I hope for a truncheon; this rascally gazette…writer never so much as once mentioned menot once; by the warstook no more notice than as if Nol。 Bluffe had not been in the land of the living。

SHARP。  Strange!

SIR JO。  Yet; by the Lord Harry; 'tis true; Mr。 Sharper; for I went every day to coffee…houses to read the gazette myself。

BLUFF。  Ay; ay; no matter。  You see; Mr。 Sharper; after all I am content to retire; live a private person。  Scipio and others have done it。

SHARP。  Impudent rogue。  'Aside。'

SIR JO。  Ay; this damned modesty of yours。  Agad; if he would put in for't he might be made general himself yet。

BLUFF。  Oh; fie! no; Sir Joseph; you know I hate this。

SIR JO。  Let me but tell Mr。 Sharper a little; how you ate fire once out of the mouth of a cannon。  Agad; he did; those impenetrable whiskers of his have confronted flames …

BLUFF。  Death; what do you mean; Sir Joseph?

SIR JO。  Look you now。  I tell you he's so modest he'll own nothing。

BLUFF。  Pish; you have put me out; I have forgot what I was about。 Pray hold your tongue; and give me leave。  'Angrily。'

SIR JO。  I am dumb。

BLUFF。  This sword I think I was telling you of; Mr。 Sharper。  This sword I'll maintain to be the best divine; anatomist; lawyer; or casuist in Europe; it shall decide a controversy or split a cause …

SIR JO。  Nay; now I must speak; it will split a hair; by the Lord Harry; I have seen it。

BLUFF。  Zounds; sir; it's a lie; you have not seen it; nor sha'n't see it; sir; I say you can't see; what d'ye say to that now?

SIR JO。  I am blind。

BLUFF。  Death; had any other man interrupted me …

SIR JO。  Good Mr。 Sharper; speak to him; I dare not look that way。

SHARP。  Captain; Sir Joseph's penitent。

BLUFF。  Oh; I am calm; sir; calm as a discharged culverin。  But 'twas indiscreet; when you know what will provoke me。  Nay; come; Sir Joseph; you know my heat's soon over。

SIR JO。  Well; I am a fool sometimes; but I'm sorry。

BLUFF。  Enough。

SIR JO。  Come; we'll go take a glass to drown animosities。  Mr。 Sharper; will you partake?

SHARP。  I wait on you; sir。  Nay; pray; Captain; you are Sir Joseph's back。


SCENE III。


ARAMINTA; BELINDA; BETTY waiting; in Araminta's apartment。

BELIN。  Ah! nay; dear; prithee; good; dear; sweet cousin; no more。 O Gad!  I swear you'd make one sick to hear you。

ARAM。  Bless me! what have I said to move you thus?

BELIN。  Oh; you have raved; talked idly; and all in commendation of that filthy; awkward; two…legged creature man。  You don't know what you've said; your fever has transported you。

ARAM。  If love be the fever which you mean; kind heaven avert the cure。  Let me have oil to feed that flame; and never let it be extinct till I myself am ashes。

BELIN。  There was a whine!  O Gad; I hate your horrid fancy。  This love is the devil; and; sure; to be in love is to be possessed。 'Tis in the head; the heart; the blood; theall over。  O Gad; you are quite spoiled。  I shall loathe the sight of mankind for your sake。

ARAM。  Fie! this is gross affectation。  A little of Bellmour's company would change the scene。

BELIN。  Filthy fellow!  I wonder; cousin …

ARAM。  I wonder; cousin; you should imagine I don't perceive you love him。

BELIN。  Oh; I love your hideous fancy!  Ha; ha; ha; love a man!

ARAM。  Love a man! yes; you would not love a beast。

BELIN。  Of all beasts not an asswhich is so like your Vainlove。 Lard; I have seen an ass look so chagrin; ha; ha; ha (you must pardon me; I can't help laughing); that an absolute lover would have concluded the poor creature to have had darts; and flames; and altars; and all that in his breast。  Araminta; come; I'll talk seriously to you now; could you but see with my eyes the buffoonery of one scene of address; a lover; set out with all his equipage and appurtenances; O Gad I sure you wouldBut you play the game; and consequently can't see the miscarriages obvious to every stander by。

ARAM。  Yes; yes; I can see something near it when you and Bellmour meet。  You don't know that you dreamt of Bellmour last night; and called him aloud in your sleep。

BELIN。  Pish; I can't help dreaming of the devil sometimes; would you from thence infer I love him?

ARAM。  But that's not all; you caught me in your arms when you named him; and pressed me to your bosom。  Sure; if I had not pinched you until you waked; you had stifled me with kisses。

BELIN。  O barbarous aspersion!

ARAM。  No aspersion; cousin; we are alone。  Nay; I can tell you more。

BELIN。  I deny it all。

ARAM。  What; before you hear it?

BELIN。  My denial is premeditated like your malice。  Lard; cousin; you talk oddly。  Whatever the matter is; O my Sol; I'm afraid you'll follow evil courses。

ARAM。  Ha; ha; ha; this is pleasant。

BELIN。  You may laugh; but …

ARAM。  Ha; ha; ha!

BELIN。  You think the malicious grin becomes you。  The devil take Bellmour。  Why do you tell me of him?

ARAM。  Oh; is it come out?  Now you are angry; I am sure you love him。  I tell nobody else; cousin。  I have not betrayed you yet。

BELIN。  Prithee tell it all the world; it's false。

ARAM。  Come; then; kiss and friends。

BELIN。  Pish。

ARAM。  Prithee don't be so peevish。

BELIN。  Prithee don't be so impertinent。  Betty!

ARAM。  Ha; ha; ha!

BETTY。  Did your ladyship c

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