the hand of ethelberta-第41节
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'We know each other far better than we may think at first;' said
Neigh。 'We are not people to love in a hurry; and I have not done
so in this case。 As for worldly circumstances; the most important
items in a marriage contract are the persons themselves; and; as far
as I am concerned; if I get a lady fair and wise I care for nothing
further。 I know you are beautiful; for all London owns it; I know
you are talented; for I have read your poetry and heard your
romances; and I know you are politic and discreet'
'For I have examined your property;' said she; with a weak smile。
Neigh bowed。 'And what more can I wish to know? Come; shall it
be?'
'Certainly not to…morrow。'
'I would be entirely in your hands in that matter。 I will not urge
you to be precipitateI could not expect you to be ready yet。 My
suddenness perhaps offended you; but; having thought deeply of this
bright possibility; I was apt to forget the forbearance that one
ought to show at first in mentioning it。 If I have done wrong
forgive me。'
'I will think of that;' said Ethelberta; with a cooler manner。 'But
seriously; all these words are nothing to the purpose。 I must
remark that I prize your friendship; but it is not for me to marry
now。 You have convinced me of your goodness of heart and freedom
from unworthy suspicions; let that be enough。 The best way in which
I in my turn can convince you of my goodness of heart is by asking
you to see me in private no more。'
'And do you refuse to think of me as。 Why do you treat me like
that; after all?' said Neigh; surprised at this want of harmony with
his principle that one convert to matrimony could always find a
second ready…made。
'I cannot explain; I cannot explain;' said she; impatiently。 'I
would and I would notexplain I mean; not marry。 I don't love
anybody; and I have no heart left for beginning。 It is only honest
in me to tell you that I am interested in watching another man's
career; though that is not to the point either; for no close
relationship with him is contemplated。 But I do not wish to speak
of this any more。 Do not press me to it。'
'Certainly I will not;' said Neigh; seeing that she was distressed
and sorrowful。 'But do consider me and my wishes; I have a right to
ask it for it is only asking a continuance of what you have already
begun to do。 To…morrow I believe I shall have the happiness of
seeing you again。'
She did not say no; and long after the door had closed upon him she
remained fixed in thought。 'How can he be blamed for his manner;'
she said; 'after knowing what I did!'
Ethelberta as she sat felt herself much less a Petherwin than a
Chickerel; much less a poetess richly freighted with fancy than an
adventuress with a nebulous prospect。 Neigh was one of the few men
whose presence seemed to attenuate her dignity in some mysterious
way to its very least proportions; and that act of espial; which had
so quickly and inexplicably come to his knowledge; helped his
influence still more。 She knew little of the nature of the town
bachelor; there were opaque depths in him which her thoughts had
never definitely plumbed。 Notwithstanding her exaltation to the
atmosphere of the Petherwin family; Ethelberta was very far from
having the thoroughbred London woman's knowledge of sets; grades;
coteries; cliques; forms; glosses; and niceties; particularly on the
masculine side。 Setting the years from her infancy to her first
look into town against those linking that epoch with the present;
the former period covered not only the greater time; but contained
the mass of her most vivid impressions of life and its ways。 But in
recognizing her ignorance of the ratio between words to women and
deeds to women in the ethical code of the bachelor of the club; she
forgot that human nature in the gross differs little with situation;
and that a gift which; if the germs were lacking; no amount of
training in clubs and coteries could supply; was mother…wit like her
own。
27。 MRS。 BELMAINE'S … CRIPPLEGATE CHURCH
Neigh's remark that he believed he should see Ethelberta again the
next day referred to a contemplated pilgrimage of an unusual sort
which had been arranged for that day by Mrs。 Belmaine upon the
ground of an incidental suggestion of Ethelberta's。 One afternoon
in the week previous they had been chatting over tea at the house of
the former lady; Neigh being present as a casual caller; when the
conversation was directed upon Milton by somebody opening a volume
of the poet's works that lay on a table near。
'Milton! thou shouldst be living at this hour:
England hath need of thee'
said Mrs。 Belmaine with the degree of flippancy which is considered
correct for immortal verse; the Bible; God; etc。; in these days。
And Ethelberta replied; lit up by a quick remembrance; 'It is a good
time to talk of Milton; for I have been much impressed by reading
the 〃Life;〃 and I have decided to go and see his tomb。 Could we not
all go? We ought to quicken our memories of the great; and of where
they lie; by such a visit occasionally。'
'We ought;' said Mrs。 Belmaine。
'And why shouldn't we?' continued Ethelberta; with interest。
'To Westminster Abbey?' said Mr。 Belmaine; a common man of thirty;
younger than his wife; who had lately come into the room。
'No; to where he lies comparatively aloneCripplegate Church。'
'I always thought that Milton was buried in Poet's Corner;' said Mr。
Belmaine。
'So did I;' said Neigh; 'but I have such an indifferent head for
places that my thinking goes for nothing。'
'Well; it would be a pretty thing to do;' said Mrs。 Belmaine; 'and
instructive to all of us。 If Mrs。 Petherwin would like to go; I
should。 We can take you in the carriage and call round for Mrs。
Doncastle on our way; and set you both down again coming back。'
'That would be excellent;' said Ethelberta。 'There is nowhere I
like going to so much as the depths of the city。 The absurd
narrowness of world…renowned streets is so surprisingso crooked
and shady as they are too; and full of the quaint smells of old
cupboards and cellars。 Walking through one of them reminds me of
being at the bottom of some crevasse or gorge; the proper surface of
the globe being the tops of the houses。'
'You will come to take care of us; John? And you; Mr。 Neigh; would
like to come? We will tell Mr。 Ladywell that he may join us if he
cares to;' said Mrs。 Belmaine。
'O yes;' said her husband quietly; and Neigh said he should like
nothing better; after a faint aspect of apprehension at the
remoteness of the idea from the daily track of his thoughts。 Mr。
Belmaine observing this; and mistaking it for an indication that
Neigh had been dragged into the party against his will by his over…
hasty wife; arranged that Neigh should go independently and meet
them there at the hour named if he chose to do so; to give him an
opportunity of staying away。 Ethelberta also was by this time
doubting if she had not been too eager with her proposal。 To go on
such a sentimental errand might be thought by her friends to be
simply troublesome; their adherence having been given only in the
regular course of complaisance。 She was still comparatively an
outsider here; her life with Lady Petherwin having been passed
chiefly in alternations between English watering…places and
continental towns。 However; it was too late now to muse on this;
and it may be added that from first to last Ethelberta never
discovered from the Belmaines whether her proposal had been an
infliction or a charm; so perfectly were they practised in
sustaining that complete divorce between thinking and saying which
is the hall…mark of high civilization。
But; however she might doubt the Belmaines; she had no doubt as to
Neigh's true sentiments: the time had come when he; notwithstanding
his air of being oppressed by almost every lively invention of town
and country for charming griefs to rest; would not be at all
oppressed by a quiet visit to the purlieus of St Giles's;
Cripplegate; since she was the originator; and was going herself。
It was a bright hope…inspiring afternoon in this mid…May time when
the carriage containing Mr。 and Mrs。 Belmaine; Mrs。 Doncastle; and
Ethelberta; crept along the encumbered streets towards Barbican;
till turning out of that thoroughfare into Redcross Street they
beheld the bold shape of the old tower they sought; clothed in every
neutral shade; standing clear against the sky; dusky and grim in its
upper stage; and hoary grey below; where every corner of every stone
was completely rounded off by the waves of wind and storm。
All people were busy here: our visitors seemed to be the only idle
persons the city contained; and there was no dissonancethere never
isbetween antiquity and such beehive industry; for pure industry;
in failing to observe its own existence and aspect; partakes of the
unobtrusive nature of material things。 This intra…mural stir was a
flywheel transparent by excessive motion; through which Milton and
his day could be seen as if nothing intervened。 Had there been
ostensibly harmonious accessories; a crowd of observing people in
search of the poetical; cons