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they¡¡should¡¡try¡¡the¡¡experiment¡¡of¡¡copyrighting¡¡it¡¡in¡¡England£»¡¡and¡¡see¡¡how
far¡¡the¡¡law¡¡would¡¡protect¡¡them¡¡against¡¡the¡¡voracious¡¡little¡¡publisher£»
who¡¡thus¡¡far¡¡had¡¡not¡¡only¡¡snapped¡¡up¡¡everything¡¡bearing¡¡Mark¡¡Twain's
signature£»¡¡but¡¡had¡¡included¡¡in¡¡a¡¡volume¡¡of¡¡Mark¡¡Twain¡¡sketches¡¡certain
examples¡¡of¡¡very¡¡weak¡¡humor¡¡with¡¡which¡¡Mark¡¡Twain¡¡had¡¡been¡¡previously
unfamiliar¡£

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'Roughing¡¡It'¡¡may¡¡have¡¡been£»¡¡he¡¡did¡¡not¡¡attempt¡¡to¡¡violate¡¡it¡£¡¡¡¡This¡¡was
gratifying¡£¡¡¡¡Clemens¡¡came¡¡to¡¡regard¡¡England¡¡as¡¡a¡¡friendly¡¡power¡£¡¡¡¡He
decided¡¡to¡¡visit¡¡it¡¡and¡¡spy¡¡out¡¡the¡¡land¡£¡¡¡¡He¡¡would¡¡make¡¡the¡¡acquaintance
of¡¡its¡¡people¡¡and¡¡institutions¡¡and¡¡write¡¡a¡¡book£»¡¡which¡¡would¡¡do¡¡these
things¡¡justice¡£

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going¡¡over¡¡to¡¡see¡¡his¡¡English¡¡publishers£»¡¡and¡¡perhaps¡¡to¡¡arrange¡¡for¡¡a
few¡¡lectures¡£¡¡¡¡He¡¡provided¡¡himself¡¡with¡¡some¡¡stylographic¡¡note¡­books£»¡¡by
which¡¡he¡¡could¡¡produce¡¡two¡¡copies¡¡of¡¡his¡¡daily¡¡memorandaone¡¡for¡¡himself
and¡¡one¡¡to¡¡mail¡¡to¡¡Mrs¡£¡¡Clemensand¡¡sailed¡¡on¡¡the¡¡Scotia¡¡August¡¡21£»
1872¡£

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wonderful¡¡charm¡¡of¡¡that¡¡old£»¡¡finished¡¡country¡¡broke¡¡upon¡¡him¡£¡¡¡¡His¡¡¡¨first
hour¡¡in¡¡England¡¡was¡¡an¡¡hour¡¡of¡¡delight£»¡¨¡¡he¡¡records£»¡¡¡¨of¡¡rapture¡¡and
ecstasy¡£¡¡¡¡These¡¡are¡¡the¡¡best¡¡words¡¡I¡¡can¡¡find£»¡¡but¡¡they¡¡are¡¡not¡¡adequate£»
they¡¡are¡¡not¡¡strong¡¡enough¡¡to¡¡convey¡¡the¡¡feeling¡¡which¡¡this¡¡first¡¡vision
of¡¡rural¡¡England¡¡brought¡¡me¡£¡¨¡¡¡¡Then¡¡he¡¡noticed¡¡that¡¡the¡¡gentleman
opposite¡¡in¡¡his¡¡compartment¡¡paid¡¡no¡¡attention¡¡to¡¡the¡¡scenery£»¡¡but¡¡was
absorbed¡¡in¡¡a¡¡green¡­covered¡¡volume¡£¡¡¡¡He¡¡was¡¡so¡¡absorbed¡¡in¡¡it¡¡that£»¡¡by
and¡¡by£»¡¡Clemens's¡¡curiosity¡¡was¡¡aroused¡£¡¡¡¡He¡¡shifted¡¡his¡¡position¡¡a
little¡¡and¡¡his¡¡eye¡¡caught¡¡the¡¡title¡£¡¡¡¡It¡¡was¡¡the¡¡first¡¡volume¡¡of¡¡the
English¡¡edition¡¡of¡¡The¡¡Innocents¡¡Abroad¡£¡¡¡¡This¡¡was¡¡gratifying¡¡for¡¡a
moment£»¡¡then¡¡he¡¡remembered¡¡that¡¡the¡¡man¡¡had¡¡never¡¡laughed£»¡¡never¡¡even
smiled¡¡during¡¡the¡¡hour¡¡of¡¡his¡¡steady¡¡reading¡£¡¡¡¡Clemens¡¡recalled¡¡what¡¡he
had¡¡heard¡¡of¡¡the¡¡English¡¡lack¡¡of¡¡humor¡£¡¡¡¡He¡¡wondered¡¡if¡¡this¡¡was¡¡a¡¡fair
example¡¡of¡¡it£»¡¡and¡¡if¡¡the¡¡man¡¡could¡¡be¡¡really¡¡taking¡¡seriously¡¡every¡¡word
he¡¡was¡¡reading¡£¡¡¡¡Clemens¡¡could¡¡not¡¡look¡¡at¡¡the¡¡scenery¡¡any¡¡more¡¡for
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paragraph¡¡that¡¡would¡¡break¡¡up¡¡that¡¡iron¡­clad¡¡solemnity¡£¡¡¡¡It¡¡did¡¡not¡¡come¡£
During¡¡all¡¡the¡¡rest¡¡of¡¡the¡¡trip¡¡to¡¡London¡¡the¡¡atmosphere¡¡of¡¡the
compartment¡¡remained¡¡heavy¡¡with¡¡gloom¡£

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himself£»¡¡and¡¡went¡¡to¡¡look¡¡up¡¡his¡¡publishers¡£¡¡¡¡He¡¡found¡¡the¡¡Routledges
about¡¡to¡¡sit¡¡down¡¡to¡¡luncheon¡¡in¡¡a¡¡private¡¡room£»¡¡up¡­stairs£»¡¡in¡¡their
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explorer£»¡¡who¡¡had¡¡but¡¡just¡¡returned¡¡from¡¡finding¡¡Livingstone£»¡¡and¡¡Henry
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where¡¡the¡¡name¡¡of¡¡Stanley¡¡was¡¡mentioned¡££§




LXXXVI

ENGLAND

¡·From¡¡that¡¡night¡¡Mark¡¡Twain's¡¡stay¡¡in¡¡England¡¡could¡¡not¡¡properly¡¡be¡¡called
a¡¡gloomy¡¡one¡£

Routledge£»¡¡Hood£»¡¡Lee£»¡¡and£»¡¡in¡¡fact£»¡¡all¡¡literary¡¡London£»¡¡set¡¡themselves
the¡¡task¡¡of¡¡giving¡¡him¡¡a¡¡good¡¡time¡£¡¡¡¡Whatever¡¡place¡¡of¡¡interest¡¡they
could¡¡think¡¡of¡¡he¡¡was¡¡taken¡¡there£»¡¡whatever¡¡there¡¡was¡¡to¡¡see¡¡he¡¡saw¡¡it¡£
Dinners£»¡¡receptions£»¡¡and¡¡assemblies¡¡were¡¡not¡¡complete¡¡without¡¡him¡£¡¡¡¡The
White¡¡Friars'¡¡Club¡¡and¡¡others¡¡gave¡¡banquets¡¡in¡¡his¡¡honor¡£¡¡¡¡He¡¡was¡¡the
sensation¡¡of¡¡the¡¡day¡£¡¡¡¡When¡¡he¡¡rose¡¡to¡¡speak¡¡on¡¡these¡¡occasions¡¡he¡¡was
greeted¡¡with¡¡wild¡¡cheers¡£¡¡¡¡Whatever¡¡he¡¡said¡¡they¡¡eagerly¡¡applaudedtoo
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to¡¡American¡¡humor¡£¡¡¡¡Other¡¡speakers¡¡delighted¡¡in¡¡chaffing¡¡him¡¡in¡¡order¡¡to
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Englishman¡¡wouldn't¡¡steal£»¡¡was¡¡all¡¡over¡¡England¡¡next¡¡day£»¡¡and¡¡regarded¡¡as
one¡¡of¡¡the¡¡finest¡¡examples¡¡of¡¡wit¡¡since¡¡the¡¡days¡¡of¡¡Swift¡£

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London¡¡rather¡¡overwhelmed¡¡and¡¡frightened¡¡him¡¡made¡¡him¡¡timid¡£¡¡¡¡Joaquin
Miller¡¡writes£º

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¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡flowers¡¡at¡¡his¡¡temples£»¡¡and¡¡could¡¡hardly¡¡be¡¡coaxed¡¡to¡¡meet¡¡the
¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡learned¡¡and¡¡great¡¡who¡¡wanted¡¡to¡¡take¡¡him¡¡by¡¡the¡¡hand¡£

Many¡¡came¡¡to¡¡call¡¡on¡¡him¡¡at¡¡his¡¡hotel£»¡¡among¡¡them¡¡Charles¡¡Reade¡¡and¡¡Canon
Kingsley¡£¡¡¡¡Kingsley¡¡came¡¡twice¡¡without¡¡finding¡¡him£»¡¡then¡¡wrote£»¡¡asking
for¡¡an¡¡appointment¡£¡¡¡¡Reade¡¡invited¡¡his¡¡assistance¡¡on¡¡a¡¡novel¡£¡¡¡¡Indeed£»¡¡it
was¡¡in¡¡England¡¡that¡¡Mark¡¡Twain¡¡was¡¡first¡¡made¡¡to¡¡feel¡¡that¡¡he¡¡had¡¡come
into¡¡his¡¡rightful¡¡heritage¡£¡¡¡¡Whatever¡¡may¡¡have¡¡been¡¡the¡¡doubts¡¡concerning
him¡¡in¡¡America£»¡¡there¡¡was¡¡no¡¡question¡¡in¡¡England¡£¡¡¡¡Howells¡¡says£º

¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡In¡¡England¡¡rank£»¡¡fashion£»¡¡and¡¡culture¡¡rejoiced¡¡in¡¡him¡£¡¡¡¡Lord¡¡mayors£»
¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡lord¡¡chief¡¡justices£»¡¡and¡¡magnates¡¡of¡¡many¡¡kinds¡¡were¡¡his¡¡hosts£»¡¡he
¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡was¡¡desired¡¡in¡¡country¡¡houses£»¡¡and¡¡his¡¡bold¡¡genius¡¡captivated¡¡the
¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡favor¡¡of¡¡periodicals¡¡which¡¡spurned¡¡the¡¡rest¡¡of¡¡our¡¡nation¡£

After¡¡that¡¡first¡¡visit¡¡of¡¡Mark¡¡Twain's£»¡¡when¡¡Americans¡¡in¡¡England£»
referring¡¡to¡¡their¡¡great¡¡statesmen£»¡¡authors£»¡¡and¡¡the¡¡like£»¡¡naturally
mentioned¡¡the¡¡names¡¡of¡¡Seward£»¡¡Webster£»¡¡Lowell£»¡¡or¡¡Holmes£»¡¡the¡¡English
comment¡¡was¡¡likely¡¡to¡¡be£º¡¡¡¨Never¡¡mind¡¡those¡£¡¡¡¡We¡¡can¡¡turn¡¡out¡¡academic
Sewards¡¡by¡¡the¡¡dozen£»¡¡and¡¡cultured¡¡humorists¡¡like¡¡Lowell¡¡and¡¡Holmes¡¡by
the¡¡score¡£¡¡¡¡Tell¡¡us¡¡of¡¡Lincoln£»¡¡Artemus¡¡Ward£»¡¡and¡¡Mark¡¡Twain¡£¡¡¡¡We¡¡cannot
match¡¡these£»¡¡they¡¡interest¡¡us¡£¡¨¡¡¡¡And¡¡it¡¡was¡¡true¡£¡¡¡¡History¡¡could¡¡not
match¡¡them£»¡¡for¡¡they¡¡were¡¡unique¡£

Clemens¡¡would¡¡have¡¡been¡¡more¡¡than¡¡human¡¡if¡¡in¡¡time¡¡he¡¡had¡¡not¡¡realized
the¡¡fuller¡¡meaning¡¡of¡¡this¡¡triumph£»¡¡and¡¡exulted¡¡in¡¡it¡¡a¡¡little¡¡to¡¡the
folks¡¡at¡¡home¡£¡¡¡¡There¡¡never¡¡lived¡¡a¡¡more¡¡modest£»¡¡less¡¡pretentious£»¡¡less
aggressive¡¡man¡¡than¡¡Mark¡¡Twain£»¡¡but¡¡there¡¡never¡¡lived¡¡a¡¡man¡¡who¡¡took¡¡a
more¡¡childlike¡¡delight¡¡in¡¡genuine¡¡appreciation£»¡¡and£»¡¡being¡¡childlike£»¡¡it
was¡¡only¡¡human¡¡that¡¡he¡¡should¡¡wish¡¡those¡¡nearest¡¡to¡¡him¡¡to¡¡share¡¡his
happiness¡£¡¡¡¡After¡¡one¡¡memorable¡¡affair¡¡he¡¡wrote£º

¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡I¡¡have¡¡been¡¡received¡¡in¡¡a¡¡sort¡¡of¡¡tremendous¡¡way¡¡to¡­night¡¡by¡¡the
¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡brains¡¡of¡¡London£»¡¡assembled¡¡at¡¡the¡¡annual¡¡dinner¡¡of¡¡the¡¡sheriffs¡¡of
¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡London£»¡¡mine¡¡being¡¡£¨between¡¡you¡¡and¡¡me£©¡¡a¡¡name¡¡which¡¡was¡¡received
¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡with¡¡a¡¡thundering¡¡outburst¡¡of¡¡spontaneous¡¡applause¡¡when¡¡the¡¡long
¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡list¡¡of¡¡guests¡¡was¡¡called¡£

I¡¡might¡¡have¡¡perished¡¡on¡¡the¡¡spot¡¡but¡¡for¡¡the¡¡friendly¡¡support¡¡and
assistance¡¡of¡¡my¡¡excellent¡¡friend£»¡¡Sir¡¡John¡¡Bennett¡£

This¡¡letter¡¡does¡¡not¡¡tell¡¡all¡¡of¡¡the¡¡incident¡¡or¡¡the¡¡real¡¡reason¡¡why¡¡he
might¡¡have¡¡perished¡¡on¡¡the¡¡spot¡£¡¡¡¡During¡¡the¡¡long¡¡roll¡­call¡¡of¡¡guests¡¡he
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¡¨excellent¡¡friend£»¡¨¡¡Sir¡¡John¡¡Bennett£»¡¡stopping¡¡to¡¡applaud¡¡now¡¡and¡¡then
when¡¡the¡¡applause¡¡of¡¡the¡¡others¡¡indicated¡¡that¡¡some¡¡distinguished¡¡name
had¡¡been¡¡pronounced¡£¡¡¡¡All¡¡at¡¡once¡¡the¡¡applause¡¡broke¡¡out¡¡with¡¡great
vehemence¡£¡¡¡¡This¡¡must¡¡be¡¡some¡¡very¡¡distinguished¡¡person¡¡indeed¡£¡¡¡¡He
joined¡¡in¡¡it¡¡with¡¡great¡¡enthusiasm¡£¡¡¡¡When¡¡it¡¡was¡¡over¡¡he¡¡whispered¡¡to¡¡Sir
John£º

¡¨Whose¡¡name¡¡was¡¡that¡¡we¡¡were¡¡just¡¡applauding£¿¡¨

¡¨Mark¡¡Twain's¡£¡¨

Whereupon¡¡the¡¡support¡¡was¡¡needed¡£

Poor¡¡little¡¡pirate¡¡Hotten¡¡did¡¡not¡¡have¡¡a¡¡happy¡¡time¡¡during¡¡this¡¡visit¡£
He¡¡had¡¡reveled¡¡in¡¡the¡¡prospect¡¡at¡¡first£»¡¡for¡¡he¡¡anticipated¡¡a¡¡large
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morning£»¡¡he¡¡was¡¡aghast¡¡to¡¡find¡¡in¡¡the¡¡Spectator¡¡a¡¡signed¡¡letter¡¡from¡¡Mark
Twain£»¡¡in¡¡which¡¡he¡¡was¡¡repudiated£»¡¡referred¡¡to¡¡as¡¡¡¨John¡¡Camden
Hottentot£»¡¨¡¡an¡¡unsavory¡¡person¡¡generally¡£¡¡¡¡Hotten¡¡also¡¡sent¡¡a¡¡letter¡¡to
the¡¡Spectator£»¡¡in¡¡which¡¡he¡¡attempted¡¡to¡¡justify¡¡himself£»¡¡but¡¡it¡¡was¡¡a
feeble¡¡performance¡£¡¡¡¡Clemens¡¡prepared¡¡two¡¡other¡¡communications£»¡¡each
worse¡¡than¡¡the¡¡other¡¡and¡¡both¡¡more¡¡destructive¡¡than¡¡the¡¡first¡¡one¡£¡¡¡¡But
these¡¡were¡¡only¡¡to¡¡relieve¡¡his¡¡mind¡£¡¡¡¡He¡¡did¡¡not¡¡print¡¡them¡£¡¡¡¡In¡¡one¡¡of
them¡¡he¡¡pursued¡¡the¡¡fancy¡¡of¡¡John¡¡Camden¡¡Hottentot£»¡¡whom¡¡he¡¡offers¡¡as¡¡a
specimen¡¡to¡¡the¡¡Zoological¡¡Gardens¡£

It¡¡is¡¡not¡¡a¡¡bird¡£

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