mark twain, a biography, 1866-1875-第30节

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debt。　　He　still　owed　a　portion　of　his　share　in　the　Express；　also　he　had
been　obliged　to　obtain　an　advance　from　the　lecture　bureau。　　He　dreaded；
as　always；　the　tedium　of　travel；　the　clatter　of　hotel　life；　the　monotony
of　entertainment；　while；　more　than　most　men；　he　loved　the　tender　luxury
of　home。　　It　was　only　that　he　could　not　afford　to　lose　the　profit　offered
on　the　platform。

His　season　opened　at　Bethlehem；　Pennsylvania；　October　16th；　and　his
schedule　carried　him　hither　and　thither；　to　and　fro；　over　distances　that
lie　between　Boston　and　Chicago。　　There　were　opportunities　to　run　into
Hartford　now　and　then；　when　he　was　not　too　far　away；　and　in　November　he
lectured　there　on　Artemus　Ward。

He　changed　his　entertainment　at　least　twice　that　season。　He　began　with
the〃Reminiscences；〃　the　lecture　which　he　said　would　treat　of　all　those
whom　he　had　met；　〃idiots；　lunatics；　and　kings；〃　but　he　did　not　like　it；
or　it　did　not　go　well。　　He　wrote　Redpath　of　the　Artemus　Ward　address：

〃It　suits　me；　and　I'll　never　deliver　the　nasty；　nauseous　'Reminiscences'
any　more。〃

But　the　Ward　lecture　was　good　for　little　more　than　a　month；　for　on
December　8th　he　wrote　again：

　　　　　Notify　all　hands　that　from　this　time　I　shall　talk　nothing　but
　　　　　selections　from　my　forthcoming　book；　'Roughing　It'。　　Tried　it　twice
　　　　　last　night；　suits　me　tiptop。

And　somewhat　later：

　　　　　Had　a　splendid　time　with　a　splendid　audience　in　Indianapolis　last
　　　　　night；　a　perfectly　jammed　house；　just　as　I　have　all　the　time　out
　　　　　here。。。。　　I　don't　care　now　to　have　any　appointments　canceled。　　I'll
　　　　　even　〃fetch〃　those　Dutch　Pennsylvanians　with　this　lecture。

　　　　　Have　paid　up　4；000　indebtedness。　　You　are　the　last　on　my　list。
　　　　　Shall　begin　to　pay　you　in　a　few　days；　and　then　I　shall　be　a　free　man
　　　　　again。

Undoubtedly　he　reveled　in　the　triumphs　of　a　platform　tour；　though　at　no
time　did　he　regard　it　as　a　pleasure　excursion。　　During　those　early　weeks
the　proofs　of　his　new　book；　chasing　him　from　place　to　place；　did　not　add
to　his　comfort。　　Still；　with　large；　substantial　rewards　in　hand　and　in
prospect；　one　could　endure　much。

In　the　neighborhood　of　Boston　there　were　other　compensations。　　He　could
spend　a　good　part　of　his　days　at　the　Lyceum　headquarters；　in　School
Street；　where　there　was　always　congenial　fellowshipNasby；　Josh
Billings；　and　the　rest　of　the　peripatetic　group　that　about　the　end　of　the
year　collected　there。　　Their　lectures　were　never　tried　immediately　in
Boston；　but　in　the　outlying　towns；　tried　and　perfectedor　discarded。
When　the　provincial　audiences　were　finally　satisfied；　then　the　final。
test　in　the　Boston　Music　Hall　was　made；　and　if　this　proved　successful　the
rest　of　the　season　was　safe。　　Redpath's　lecturers　put　up　at　Young's
Hotel；　and　spent　their　days　at　the　bureau；　smoking　and　spinning　yarns；　or
talking　shop。　　Early　in　the　evening　they　scattered　to　the　outlying　towns；
Lowell；　Lexington；　Concord；　New　Bedford。　　There　is　no　such　a　condition
to…day：　lecturers　are　few；　lecture　bureaus　obscure；　there　are　no　great
reputations　made　on　the　platform。

Neither　is　there　any　such　distinct　group　of　humorists　as　the　one　just
mentioned。　　Humor　has　become　universal　since　then。　　Few　writers　of　this
age　would　confess　to　taking　their　work　so　seriously　as　to　be　at　all　times
unsmiling　in　it；　only　about　as　many；　in　fact；　as　in　that　day　would
confess　to　taking　their　work　so　lightly　that　they　could　regard　life's
sterner　phases　and　philosophies　with　a　smile。

Josh　Billings　was　one　of　the　gentlest　and　loveliest　of　our　pioneers　of
laughter。　　The　present　generation　is　not　overfamiliar　even　with　his　name；
but　both　the　name　and　sayings　of　that　quaint　soul　were　on　everybody's
lips　at　the　time　of　which　we　are　writing。　　His　true　name　was　Henry　W。
Shaw；　and　he　was　a　genuine；　smiling　philosopher；　who　might　have　built　up
a　more　permanent　and　serious　reputation　had　he　not　been　induced　to
disfigure　his　maxims　with　ridiculous　spelling　in　order　to　popularize　them
and　make　them　bring　a　living　price。　　It　did　not　matter　much　with　Nasby's
work。　　An　assumed　illiteracy　belonged　with　the　side　of　life　which　he
presented；　but　it　is　pathetic　now　to　consider　some　of　the　really　masterly
sayings　of　Josh　Billings　presented　in　that　uncouth　form　which　was
regarded　as　a　part　of　humor　a　generation　ago。　　Even　the　aphorisms　that
were　essentially　humorous　lose　value　in　that　degraded　spelling。

〃When　a　man　starts　down　hill　everything　is　greased　for　the　occasion；〃
could　hardly　be　improved　upon　by　distorted　orthography；　and　here　are　a
few　more　gems　which　have　survived　that　deadly　blight。

〃Some　folks　mistake　vivacity　for　wit；　whereas　the　difference　between
vivacity　and　wit　is　the　same　as　the　difference　between　the　lightning…bug
and　the　lightning。〃

〃Don't　take　the　bull　by　the　horns…take　him　by　the　tail；　then　you　can　let
go　when　you　want　to。〃

〃The　difficulty　is　not　that　we　know　so　much；　but　that　we　know　so　much
that　isn't　so。〃

Josh　Billings；　Nasby；　and　Mark　Twain　were　close　friends。　　They　had
themselves　photographed　in　a　group；　and　there　was　always　some　pleasantry
going　on　among　them。　　Josh　Billings　once　wrote　on　〃Lekturing；〃　and　under
the　head　of　〃Rule　Seven；〃　which　treated　of　unwisdom　of　inviting　a
lecturer　to　a　private　house；　he　said：

　　　　　Think　of　asking　Mark　Twain　home　with　yu；　for　instance。　　Yure　good
　　　　　wife　has　put　her　house　in　apple…pie　order　for　the　ockashun；
　　　　　everything　is　just　in　the　right　place。　　Yu　don't　smoke　in　yure
　　　　　house；　never。　　Yu　don't　put　yure　feet　on　the　center…table；　yu　don't
　　　　　skatter　the　nuzepapers　all　over　the　room；　in　utter　confushion：　order
　　　　　and　ekonemy　governs　yure　premises。　　But　if　yu　expeckt　Mark　Twain　to
　　　　　be　happy；　or　even　kumfortable　yu　hav　got　to　buy　a　box　of　cigars
　　　　　worth　at　least　seventeen　dollars　and　yu　hav　got　to　move　all　the
　　　　　tender　things　out　ov　yure　parlor。　　Yu　hav　got　to　skatter　all　the
　　　　　latest　papers　around　the　room　careless；　you　hav　got　to　hav　a　pitcher
　　　　　ov　icewater　handy；　for　Mark　is　a　dry　humorist。　　Yu　hav　got　to　ketch
　　　　　and　tie　all　yure　yung　ones；　hed　and　foot；　for　Mark　luvs　babys　only
　　　　　in　theory；　yu　hav　got　to　send　yure　favorite　kat　over　to　the　nabors
　　　　　and　hide　yure　poodle。　　These　are　things　that　hav　to　be　done；　or　Mark
　　　　　will　pak　hiz　valise　with　hiz　extry　shirt　collar　and　hiz　lektur　on
　　　　　the　Sandwich　Islands；　and　travel　around　yure　streets；　smoking　and
　　　　　reading　the　sighns　over　the　store　doorways　untill　lektur　time
　　　　　begins。

As　we…are　not　likely　to　touch　upon　Mark　Twain's　lecturing；　save　only
lightly；　hereafter；　it　may　be　as　well　to　say　something　of　his　method　at
this　period。　　At　all　places　visited　by　lecturers　there　was　a　committee；
and　it　was　the　place　of　the　chairman　to　introduce　the　lecturer；　a
privilege　which　he　valued；　because　it　gave　him　a　momentary　association
with　distinction　and　fame。　　Clemens　was　a　great　disappointment　to　these
officials。　　He　had　learned　long　ago　that　he　could　introduce　himself　more
effectively　than　any　one　else。　　His　usual　formula　was　to　present　himself
as　the　chairman　of　the　committee；　introducing　the　lecturer　of　the
evening；　then；　with　what　was　in　effect　a　complete　change　of　personality；
to　begin　his　lecture。　　It　was　always　startling　and　amusing；　always　a
success；　but　the　papers　finally　printed　this　formula；　which　took　the
freshness　out　of　it；　so　that　he　had　to　invent　others。　　Sometimes　he　got
up　with　the　frank　statement　that　he　was　introducing　himself　because　he
had　never　met　any　one　who　could　pay　a　proper　tribute　to　his　talents；　but
the　newspapers　printed　that　too；　and　he　often　rose　and　began　with　no
introduction　at　all。

Whatever　his　method　of　beginning；　Mark　Twain's　procedure　probably　was　the
purest　exemplification　of　the　platform　entertainer's　art　which　this
country　has　ever　seen。　　It　was　the　art　that　makes　you　forget　the
artisanship；　the　art　that　made　each　hearer　forget　that　he　was　not　being
personally　entertained　by　a　new　and　marvelous　friend；　who　had　traveled　a
long　way　for　his　particular　benefit。　　One　listener　has　written　that　he
sat　〃simmering　with　laughter〃　through　what　he　supposed　was　the
continuation　of　the　introduction；　waiting　for　the　traditional　lecture　to
begin；　when　presently　the　lecturer；　with　a　bow；　disappeared；　and　it　was
over。　　The　listener　looked　at　his　watch；　he　had　been　there　more　than　an
hour。　　He　thought　it　could　be　no　more　than　ten　minutes；　at　most。　　Many
have　tried　to　set　down　something　of　the　effect　his　art　produced　on　them；
but　one　may　not　clearly　convey　the　story　of　a　vanished　presence　and　a
silent　voice。

There　were　other　pleasant　associations　in　Boston。　　Howells　was　there；　and
Aldrich；　also　Bret　Harte；　who　had　finished　his　triumphal　progress　across
the　continent　to　join　the　Atlantic　group。　　Clemens　appears　not　to　have
met　Aldrich　before；　though　their　acquaintance　had　begun　a　year　earlier；
when　Aldrich；　as　editor　of　Every　Saturday；　had　commented　on　a　poem
entitled；　〃The　Three　Aces；〃　which　had　appeared　in　the　Buffalo　Express。
Aldrich　had　assumed　the　poem　to　be　the　work　of　Mark　Twain；　and　had
characterized　it　as　〃a　feeble　imitation　of　Bret　Harte's　'Heathen
Chinee。'〃　　Clemens；　in　a　letter；　had　mildly