mark twain, a biography, 1866-1875-第3节

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talk　him　out　of　that　resolution。　　I　used　all　the　arguments　about　the　boys
being　his　oldest　friends；　how　they　all　loved　him；　and　how　the　joke　had
been　entirely　for　his　own　good；　I　pleaded　with　him；　begged　him　to
reconsider；　I　went　and　got　his　money　and　his　watch　and　laid　them　on　the
table；　but　for　a　time　it　seemed　hopeless。　　And　I　could　imagine　those
fellows　going　behind　the　bars；　and　the　sensation　it　would　make　in
California；　and　just　as　I　was　about　to　give　it　up　he　said：

〃'Well；　Joe；　I'll　let　it　passthis　time；　I'll　forgive　them　again；　I've
had　to　do　it　so　many　times；　but　if　I　should　see　Denis　McCarthy　and　Steve
Gillis　mounting　the　scaffold　to…morrow；　and　I　could　save　them　by　turning
over　my　hand；　I　wouldn't　do　it！'

〃He　canceled　the　lecture　engagement；　however；　next　morning；　and　the　day
after　left　on　the　Pioneer　Stage；　by　the　way　of　Donner　Lake；　for
California。　　The　boys　came　rather　sheepishly　to　see　him　off；　but　he　would
make　no　show　of　relenting。　　When　they　introduced　themselves　as
Beauregard；　Stonewall　Jackson；　etc。；　he　merely　said：

〃'Yes；　and　you'll　all　be　behind　the　bars　some　day。　　There's　been　a　good
deal　of　robbery　around　here　lately；　and　it's　pretty　clear　now　who　did
it。'　　They　handed　him　a　package　containing　the　masks　which　the　robbers
had　worn。　　He　received　it　in　gloomy　silence；　but　as　the　stage　drove　away
he　put　his　head　out　of　the　window；　and　after　some　pretty　vigorous
admonition　resumed　his　old　smile；　and　called　out：　'Good…by；　friends；
good…by；　thieves；　I　bear　you　no　malice。'　　So　the　heaviest　joke　was　on　his
tormentors　after　all。〃

This　is　the　story　of　the　famous　Mark　Twain　robbery　direct　from
headquarters。　　It　has　been　garbled　in　so　many　ways　that　it　seems　worth
setting　down　in　full。　　Denis　McCarthy；　who　joined　him　presently　in　San
Francisco；　received　a　little　more　punishment　there。

〃What　kind　of　a　trip　did　you　boys　have？〃　a　friend　asked　of　them。

Clemens；　just　recovering　from　a　cold　which　the　exposure　on　the　Divide　had
given　him；　smiled　grimly：

〃Oh；　pretty　good；　only　Denis　here　mistook　it　for　a　spree。〃

He　lectured　again　in　San　Francisco；　this　time　telling　the　story　of　his
Overland　trip　in　1861；　and　he　did　the　daring　thing　of　repeating　three
times　the　worn…out　story　of　Horace　Greeley's　ride　with　Hank　Monk；　as
given　later　in　'Roughing　It'。　　People　were　deadly　tired　of　that　story　out
there；　and　when　he　told　it　the　first　time；　with　great　seriousness；　they
thought　he　must　be　failing　mentally。　　They　did　not　laughthey　only　felt
sorry。　　He　waited　a　little；　as　if　expecting　a　laugh；　and　presently　led
around　to　it　and　told　it　again。　　The　audience　was　astonished　still　more；
and　pitied　him　thoroughly。　　He　seemed　to　be　waiting　pathetically　in　the
dead　silence　for　their　applause；　then　went　on　with　his　lecture；　but
presently；　with　labored　effort；　struggled　around　to　the　old　story　again；
and　told　it　for　the　third　time。　　The　audience　suddenly　saw　the　joke　then；
and　became　vociferous　and　hysterical　in　their　applause；　but　it　was　a
narrow　escape。　　He　would　have　been　hysterical　himself　if　the　relief　had
not　came　when　it　did。

＇A　side…light　on　the　Horace　Greeley　story　and　on　Mr。　Greeley's
eccentricities　is　furnished　by　Mr。　Goodman：

When　I　was　going　East　in　1869　I　happened　to　see　Hank　Monk　just　before　I
started。　　〃Mr。　Goodman；〃　he　said；　〃you　tell　Horace　Greeley　that　I　want　to
come　East；　and　ask　him　to　send　me　a　pass。〃　　〃All　right；　Hank；〃　I　said；
〃I　will。〃　　It　happened　that　when　I　got　to　New　York　City　one　of　the　first
men　I　met　was　Greeley。　　〃Mr。　Greeley；〃　said；　〃I　have　a　message　for　you
from　Hank　Monk。〃　　Greeley　bristled　and　glared　at　me。　　〃Thatrascal？〃　he
said　〃He　has　done　me　more　injury　than　any　other　man　in　America。〃＇




LVI

BACK　TO　THE　STATES

In　the　mean　time　Clemens　had　completed　his　plan　for　sailing；　and　had
arranged　with　General　McComb；　of　the　Alta　California；　for　letters　during
his　proposed　trip　around　the　world。　　However；　he　meant　to　visit　his
people　first；　and　his　old　home。　　He　could　go　back　with　means　now；　and
with　the　prestige　of　success。

〃I　sail　to…morrow　per　Oppositiontelegraphed　you　to…day；〃　he　wrote　on
December　14th；　and　a　day　later　his　note…book　entry　says：

　　　　　Sailed　from　San　Francisco　in　Opposition　（line）　steamer　America；
　　　　　Capt。　　Wakeman；　at　noon；　15th　Dec。；　1866。　　Pleasant　sunny　day；　hills
　　　　　brightly　clad　with　green　grass　and　shrubbery。

So　he　was　really　going　home　at　last！　　He　had　been　gone　five　and　a　half
yearseventful；　adventurous　years　that　had　made　him　over　completely；　at
least　so　far　as　ambitions　and　equipment　were　concerned。　　He　had　came
away；　in　his　early　manhood；　a　printer　and　a　pilot；　unknown　outside　of　his
class。　　He　was　returning　a　man　of　thirty…one；　with　a　fund　of　hard
experience；　three　added　professionsmining；　journalism；　and　lecturing
also　with　a　new　name；　already　famous　on　the　sunset　slopes　of　its
adoption；　and　beginning　to　be　heard　over　the　hills　and　far　away。　　In　some
degree；　at　least；　he　resembled　the　prince　of　a　fairy　tale　who；　starting
out　humble　and　unnoticed；　wins　his　way　through　a　hundred　adventures　and
returns　with　gifts　and　honors。

The　homeward　voyage　was　a　notable　one。　　It　began　with　a　tempest　a　little
way　out　of　San　Franciscoa　storm　terrible　but　brief；　that　brought　the
passengers　from　their　berths　to　the　deck；　and　for　a　time　set　them
praying。　　Then　there　was　Captain　Ned　Wakeman；　a　big；　burly；　fearless
sailor；　who　had　visited　the　edges　of　all　continents　and　archipelagos；　who
had　been　born　at　sea；　and　never　had　a　day's　schooling　in　his　life；　but
knew　the　Bible　by　heart；　who　was　full　of　human　nature　and　profanity；　and
believed　he　was　the　only　man　on　the　globe　who　knew　the　secret　of　the
Bible　miracles。　　He　became　a　distinct　personality　in　Mark　Twain's　work
the　memory　of　him　was　an　unfailing　delight。　　Captain　〃Ned　Blakely；〃　in
'Roughing　It'；　who　with　his　own　hands　hanged　Bill　Noakes；　after　reading
him　promiscuous　chapters　from　the　Bible；　was　Captain　Wakeman。　　Captain
〃Stormfield；〃　who　had　the　marvelous　visit　to　heaven；　was　likewise　Captain
Wakeman；　and　he　appears　in　the　〃Idle　Excursion〃　and　elsewhere。

Another　event　of　the　voyage　was　crossing　the　Nicaragua　Isthmusthe　trip
across　the　lake　and　down　the　San　Juan　Rivera；　brand…new　experience；
between　shores　of　splendid　tropic　tangle；　gleaming　with　vivid　life。　　The
luxuriance　got　into　his　note…book。

Dark　grottos；　fairy　festoons；　tunnels；　temples；　columns；　pillars；　towers；
pilasters；　terraces；　pyramids；　mounds；　domes；　walls；　in　endless　confusion
of　vine…workno　shape　known　to　architecture　unimitatedand　all　so
webbed　together　that　short　distances　within　are　only　gained　by　glimpses。
Monkeys　here　and　there；　birds　warbling；　gorgeous　plumaged　birds　on　the
wing；　Paradise　itself；　the　imperial　realm　of　beauty…nothing　to　wish　for
to　make　it　perfect。

But　it　was　beyond　the　isthmus　that　the　voyage　loomed　into　proportions
somber　and　terrible。　　The　vessel　they　took　there；　the　San　Francisco；
sailed　from　Greytown　January　1；　1867；　the　beginning　of　a　memorable　year
in　Mark　Twain's　life。　　Next　day　two　cases　of　Asiatic　cholera　were
reported　in　the　steerage。　　There　had　been　a　rumor　of　it　in　Nicaragua；　but
no　one　expected　it　on　the　ship。

The　nature　of　the　disease　was　not　hinted　at　until　evening；　when　one　of
the　men　died。　　Soon　after　midnight；　the　other　followed。　　A　minister
making　the　voyage　home；　Rev。　J。　G。　Fackler；　read　the　burial　service。　　The
gaiety　of　the　passengers；　who　had　become　well　acquainted　during　the
Pacific　voyage；　was　subdued。　　When　the　word　〃cholera〃　went　among　them；
faces　grew　grave　and　frightened。　　On　the　morning　of　January　4th　Reverend
Fackler's　services　were　again　required。　　The　dead　man　was　put　overboard
within　half　an　hour　after　he　had　ceased　to　breathe。

Gloom　settled　upon　the　ship。　　All　steam　was　made　to　put　into　Key　West。
Then　some　of　the　machinery　gave　way　and　the　ship　lay　rolling；　helplessly
becalmed　in　the　fierce　heat　of　the　Gulf；　while　repairs　were　being　made。
The　work　was　done　at　a　disadvantage；　and　the　parts　did　not　hold。　　Time
and　again　they　were　obliged　to　lie　to；　in　the　deadly　tropic　heat；
listening　to　the　hopeless　hammering；　wondering　who　would　be　the　next　to
be　sewed　up　hastily　in　a　blanket　and　slipped　over　the　ship's　side。　　On
the　5th　seven　new　cases　of　illness　were　reported。　　One　of　the　crew；　a　man
called　〃Shape；〃　was　said　to　be　dying。　　A　few　hours　later　he　was　dead。　　By
this　time　the　Reverend　Fackler　himself　had　been　taken。

〃So　they　are　burying　poor　'Shape'　without　benefit　of　clergy；〃　says　the
note…book。

General　consternation　now　began　to　prevail。　　Then　it　was　learned　that　the
ship's　doctor　had　run　out　of　medicines。　　The　passengers　became
demoralized。　　They　believed　their　vessel　was　to　become　a　charnel　ship。
Strict　sanitary　orders　were　issued；　and　a　hospital　was　improvised。

　　　　　Verily　the　ship　is　becoming　a　floating　hospital　herselfnot　an　hour
　　　　　passes　but　brings　its　fresh　sensation；　its　new　disaster；　its
　　　　　melancholy　tidings。　　When　I　think　of　poor　〃Shape〃　and　the　preacher；
　　　　　both　so　well　when　I　saw　them　yesterday　evening；　I　realize　that　I
　　　　　myself　may　be　dead　to…morrow。

　　　　　Since　the　last　two　hours　all　laughter；　all　levity；　has　ceased　on