4 breaking dawn破晓-第81节
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lark started to sing somewhere very close by—maybe she had a nest in the roses。
〃Do you miss it？〃 I asked him when her song was done。
It wasn't the first time we'd spoken； but we weren't exactly keeping up a conversation； either。
〃Miss what？〃 he murmured。
〃All of it—the warmth； the soft skin； the tasty smell。。。 I'm not losing anything at all； and I just wondered if
it was a little bit sad for you that you were。〃
He laughed； low and gentle。 〃It would be hard to find someone less sad than I am now。 Impossible； I'd
venture。 Not many people get every single thing they want； plus all the things they didn't think to ask for；
in the same day。〃
〃Are you avoiding the question？〃
He pressed his hand against my face。 〃You are warm；〃 he told me。
It was true； in a sense。 To me； his hand was warm。 It wasn't the same as touching Jacob's flame…hot
skin； but it was more comfortable。 More natural。
Then he pulled his fingers very slowly down my face； lightly tracing from my jaw to my throat and then all
the way down to my waist。 My eyes rolled back into my head a little。
〃You are soft。〃
His fingers were like satin against my skin； so I could see what he meant。
〃And as for the scent； well； I couldn't say I missed that。 Do you remember the scent of those hikers on
our hunt？〃
〃I've been trying very hard not to。〃
〃Imagine kissing that。〃
My throat ripped into flames like pulling the cord on a hot…air balloon。
〃0/7。〃
〃Precisely。 So the answer is no。 I am purely full of joy； because I am missing nothing。 No one has more
than I do now。〃
I was about to inform him of the one exception to his statement； but my lips were suddenly very busy。
When the little pool turned pearl…colored with the sunrise； I thought of another question for him。
〃How long does this go on？ I mean； Carlisle and Esme； Em and Rose； Alice and Jasper—they don't
spend all day locked in their rooms。 They're out in public； fully clothed； all the time。 Does this。。。 craving
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ever let up？〃 I twisted myself closer into him—quite an accomplishment； actually—to make it clear what I
was talking about。
〃That's difficult to say。 Everyone is different and； well； so far you're the very most different of all。 The
average young vampire is too obsessed with thirst to notice much else for a while。 That doesn't seem to
apply to you。 With the average vampire； though； after that first year； other needs make themselves
known。 Neither thirst nor any other desire really ever fades。 It's simply a matter of learning to balance
them； learning to prioritize and manage___〃
〃How long？〃
He smiled； wrinkling his nose a little。 〃Rosalie and Emmett were the worst。 It took a solid decade before
I could stand to be within a five…mile radius of them。 Even Carlisle and Esme had a difficult time
stomaching it。 They kicked the happy couple out eventually。 Esme built them a house； too。 It was grander
than this one； but then； Esme knows what Rose likes； and she knows what you like。〃
〃So； after ten years； then？〃 I was pretty sure that Rosalie and Emmett had nothing on us； but it might
sound cocky if I went higher than a decade。 〃Everybody is normal again？ Like they are now？〃
Edward smiled again。 〃Well； I'm not sure what you mean by normal。 You've seen my family going about
life in a fairly human way； but you've been sleeping nights。〃 He winked at me。 〃There's a tremendous
amount of time left over when you don't have to sleep。 It makes balancing your。。。 interests quite easy。
There's a reason why I'm the best musician in the family； why—besides Carlisle—I've read the most
books； studied the most sciences； become fluent
in the most languages。。。。 Emmett would have you believe that I'm such a know…it…all because of the mind
reading； but the truth is that I've just had a lot of free time。〃
We laughed together； and the motion of our laughter did interesting things to the way our bodies were
connected； effectively ending that conversation。
25。 FAVOR
It was only a little while later that Edward reminded me of my priorities。
It took him just one word。
〃Renesmee。。。〃
I sighed。 She would be awake soon。 It must be nearly seven in the morning。 Would she be looking for
me？ Abruptly； something close to panic had my body freezing up。 What would she look like today？
Edward felt the total distraction of my stress。 〃It's all right； love。 Get dressed； and we'll be back to the
house in two seconds。〃
I probably looked like a cartoon； the way I sprung up； then looked back at him—his diamond body
faintly glinting in the diffuse light—then away to the west； where Renesmee waited； then back at him
again； then back toward her； my head whipping from side to side a half dozen times in a second。 Edward
smiled； but didn't laugh； he was a strong man。
〃It's all about balance； love。 You're so good at all of this； I don't imagine it will take too long to put
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everything in perspective。〃
〃And we have all night； right？〃
He smiled wider。 〃Do you think I could bear to let you get dressed now if that weren't the case？〃
That would have to be enough to get me through the daylight hours。 I would balance this overwhelming；
devastating desire so that I could be a good— It was hard to think the word。 Though Renesmee was
very real and vital in my life； it was still difficult to think of myself as a mother。 I supposed anyone would
feel the same； though； without nine months to get used to the idea。 And with a child that changed by the
hour。
The thought of Renesmee's speeding life had me stressed…out again in an instant。 I didn't even pause at
the ornately carved double doors to catch my breath before finding out what Alice had done。 I just burst
through； intent
on wearing the first things I touched。 I should have known it wouldn't be that easy。
〃Which ones are mine？〃 I hissed。 As promised； the room was bigger than our bedroom。 It might have
been bigger than the rest of the house put together； but I'd have to pace it off to be positive。 I had a brief
mental flash of Alice trying to persuade Esme to ignore classic proportions and allow this monstrosity。 I
wondered how Alice had won that one。
Everything was wrapped in garment bags； pristine and white； row after row after row。
〃To the best of my knowledge； everything but this rack here〃—he touched a bar that stretched along the
half…wall to the left of the door—〃is yours。〃
〃All of this？〃
He shrugged。
〃Alice；〃 we said together。 He said her name like an explanation； I said it like an expletive。
〃Fine；〃 I muttered； and I pulled down the zipper on the closest bag。 I growled under my breath when I
saw the floorlength silk gown inside—baby pink。
Finding something normal to wear could take all day！
〃Let me help；〃 Edward offered。 He sniffed carefully at the air and then followed some scent to the back
of the long room。 There was a built…in dresser there。 He sniffed again； then opened a drawer。 With a
triumphant grin； he held out a pair of artfully faded blue jeans。
I flitted to his side。 〃How did you do that？〃
〃Denim has its own scent just like anything else。 Now。。。 stretch cotton？〃
He followed his nose to a half…rack； unearthing a long…sleeved white t…shirt。 He tossed it to me。
〃Thanks；〃 I said fervently。 I inhaled each fabric； memorizing the scent for future searches through this
madhouse。 I remembered silk and satin； I would avoid those。
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It only took him seconds to find his own clothes—if I hadn't seen him undressed； I would have sworn
there was nothing more beautiful than Edward in his khakis and pale beige pullover—and then he took
my hand。 We darted through the hidden garden； leaped lightly over the stone wall； and hit the forest at a
dead sprint。 I pulled my hand free so that we could race back。 He beat me this time。
Renesmee was awake； she was sitting up on the floor with Rose and Emmett hovering over her； playing
with a little pile of twisted silverware。 She had a mangled spoon in her right hand。 As soon as she spied
me through the glass； she chucked the spoon on the floor—where it left a divot in the wood—and
pointed in my direction imperiously。 Her audience laughed； Alice； Jasper； Esme； and Carlisle were sitting
on the couch； watching her as if she were the most engrossing film。
I was through the door before their laughter had barely begun； bounding across the room and scooping
her up from the floor in the same second。 We smiled widely at each other。
She was different； but
