the illustrious gaudissart-第9节

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inherent　qualities　which　need　development；　or　for　the　protection　of

their　families　against　a　precarious　future。　Now；　if　you　will　subscribe

to　the　'Globe；'　and　give　me　your　personal　assistance　in　this　district

on　behalf　of　insurance；　especially　life…annuity；for　the　provinces

are　much　attached　to　annuitiesWell；　if　you　will　do　this；　then　we　can

come　to　an　understanding　about　the　wine。　Will　you　take　the　'Globe'？〃



〃I　stand　on　the　globe。〃



〃Will　you　advance　its　interests　in　this　district？〃



〃I　advance。〃



〃And？〃



〃And〃



〃And　Ibut　you　do　subscribe；　don't　you；　to　the　'Globe'？〃



〃The　globe；　good　thing；　for　life；〃　said　the　lunatic。



〃For　life；　Monsieur？ah；　I　see！　yes；　you　are　right：　it　is　full　of

life；　vigor；　intellect；　science；absolutely　crammed　with　science；

well　printed；　clear　type；　well　set　up；　what　I　call　'good　nap。'　None　of

your　botched　stuff；　cotton　and　wool；　trumpery；　flimsy　rubbish　that

rips　if　you　look　at　it。　It　is　deep；　it　states　questions　on　which　you

can　meditate　at　your　leisure；　it　is　the　very　thing　to　make　time　pass

agreeably　in　the　country。〃



〃That　suits　me；〃　said　the　lunatic。



〃It　only　costs　a　trifle；eighty　francs。〃



〃That　won't　suit　me；〃　said　the　lunatic。



〃Monsieur！〃　cried　Gaudissart；　〃of　course　you　have　got　grandchildren？

There's　the　'Children's　Journal'；　that　only　costs　seven　francs　a

year。〃



〃Very　good；　take　my　wine；　and　I　will　subscribe　to　the　children。　That

suits　me　very　well：　a　fine　idea！　intellectual　product；　child。　That's

man　living　upon　man；　hein？〃



〃You've　hit　it；　Monsieur；〃　said　Gaudissart。



〃I've　hit　it！〃



〃You　consent　to　push　me　in　the　district？〃



〃In　the　district。〃



〃I　have　your　approbation？〃



〃You　have　it。〃



〃Well；　then；　Monsieur；　I　take　your　wine　at　a　hundred　francs〃



〃No；　no！　hundred　and　ten〃



〃Monsieur！　A　hundred　and　ten　for　the　company；　but　a　hundred　to　me。　I

enable　you　to　make　a　sale；　you　owe　me　a　commission。〃



〃Charge　'em　a　hundred　and　twenty；〃〃cent　vingt〃　（〃sans　vin；〃　without

wine）。



〃Capital　pun　that！〃



〃No；　puncheons。　About　that　wine〃



〃Better　and　better！　why；　you　are　a　wit。〃



〃Yes；　I'm　that；〃　said　the　fool。　〃Come　out　and　see　my　vineyards。〃



〃Willingly；　the　wine　is　getting　into　my　head；〃　said　the　illustrious

Gaudissart；　following　Monsieur　Margaritis；　who　marched　him　from　row　to

row　and　hillock　to　hillock　among　the　vines。　The　three　ladies　and

Monsieur　Vernier；　left　to　themselves；　went　off　into　fits　of　laughter

as　they　watched　the　traveller　and　the　lunatic　discussing；

gesticulating；　stopping　short；　resuming　their　walk；　and　talking

vehemently。



〃I　wish　the　good…man　hadn't　carried　him　off；〃　said　Vernier。



Finally　the　pair　returned；　walking　with　the　eager　step　of　men　who　were

in　haste　to　finish　up　a　matter　of　business。



〃He　has　got　the　better　of　the　Parisian；　damn　him！〃　cried　Vernier。



And　so　it　was。　To　the　huge　delight　of　the　lunatic　our　illustrious

Gaudissart　sat　down　at　a　card…table　and　wrote　an　order　for　the

delivery　of　the　two　casks　of　wine。　Margaritis；　having　carefully　read

it　over；　counted　out　seven　francs　for　his　subscription　to　the

〃Children's　Journal〃　and　gave　them　to　the　traveller。



〃Adieu　until　to…morrow；　Monsieur；〃　said　Gaudissart；　twisting　his

watch…key。　〃I　shall　have　the　honor　to　call　for　you　to…morrow。

Meantime；　send　the　wine　at　once　to　Paris　to　the　address　I　have　given

you；　and　the　price　will　be　remitted　immediately。〃



Gaudissart；　however；　was　a　Norman；　and　he　had　no　idea　of　making　any

agreement　which　was　not　reciprocal。　He　therefore　required　his　promised

supporter　to　sign　a　bond　（which　the　lunatic　carefully　read　over）　to

deliver　two　puncheons　of　the　wine　called　〃Head　of　Vouvray；〃　vineyard

of　Margaritis。



This　done；　the　illustrious　Gaudissart　departed　in　high　feather；

humming；　as　he　skipped　along；



　　〃The　King　of　the　South；

　　He　burned　his　mouth；〃　etc。







CHAPTER　V



The　illustrious　Gaudissart　returned　to　the　Soleil　d'Or；　where　he

naturally　conversed　with　the　landlord　while　waiting　for　dinner。

Mitouflet　was　an　old　soldier；　guilelessly　crafty；　like　the　peasantry

of　the　Loire；　he　never　laughed　at　a　jest；　but　took　it　with　the　gravity

of　a　man　accustomed　to　the　roar　of　cannon　and　to　make　his　own　jokes

under　arms。



〃You　have　some　very　strong…minded　people　here；〃　said　Gaudissart；

leaning　against　the　door…post　and　lighting　his　cigar　at　Mitouflet's

pipe。



〃How　do　you　mean？〃　asked　Mitouflet。



〃I　mean　people　who　are　rough…shod　on　political　and　financial　ideas。〃



〃Whom　have　you　seen？　if　I　may　ask　without　indiscretion；〃　said　the

landlord　innocently；　expectorating　after　the　adroit　and　periodical

fashion　of　smokers。



〃A　fine；　energetic　fellow　named　Margaritis。〃



Mitouflet　cast　two　glances　in　succession　at　his　guest　which　were

expressive　of　chilling　irony。



〃May　be；　the　good…man　knows　a　deal。　He　knows　too　much　for　other　folks；

who　can't　always　understand　him。〃



〃I　can　believe　it；　for　he　thoroughly　comprehends　the　abstruse

principles　of　finance。〃



〃Yes；〃　said　the　innkeeper；　〃and　for　my　part；　I　am　sorry　he　is　a

lunatic。〃



〃A　lunatic！　What　do　you　mean？〃



〃Well；　crazy；cracked；　as　people　are　when　they　are　insane；〃　answered

Mitouflet。　〃But　he　is　not　dangerous；　his　wife　takes　care　of　him。　Have

you　been　arguing　with　him？〃　added　the　pitiless　landlord；　〃that　must

have　been　funny！〃



〃Funny！〃　cried　Gaudissart。　〃Funny！　Then　your　Monsieur　Vernier　has　been

making　fun　of　me！〃



〃Did　he　send　you　there？〃



〃Yes。〃



〃Wife！　wife！　come　here　and　listen。　If　Monsieur　Vernier　didn't　take　it

into　his　head　to　send　this　gentleman　to　talk　to　Margaritis！〃



〃What　in　the　world　did　you　say　to　each　other；　my　dear；　good　Monsieur？〃

said　the　wife。　〃Why；　he's　crazy！〃



〃He　sold　me　two　casks　of　wine。〃



〃Did　you　buy　them？〃



〃Yes。〃



〃But　that　is　his　delusion；　he　thinks　he　sells　his　wine；　and　he　hasn't

any。〃



〃Ha！〃　snorted　the　traveller；　〃then　I'll　go　straight　to　Monsieur

Vernier　and　thank　him。〃



And　Gaudissart　departed；　boiling　over　with　rage；　to　shake　the　ex…dyer；

whom　he　found　in　his　salon；　laughing　with　a　company　of　friends　to　whom

he　had　already　recounted　the　tale。



〃Monsieur；〃　said　the　prince　of　travellers；　darting　a　savage　glance　at

his　enemy；　〃you　are　a　scoundrel　and　a　blackguard；　and　under　pain　of

being　thought　a　turn…key；a　species　of　being　far　below　a　galley…

slave；you　will　give　me　satisfaction　for　the　insult　you　dared　to

offer　me　in　sending　me　to　a　man　whom　you　knew　to　be　a　lunatic！　Do　you

hear　me；　Monsieur　Vernier；　dyer？〃



Such　was　the　harangue　which　Gaudissart　prepared　as　he　went　along；　as　a

tragedian　makes　ready　for　his　entrance　on　the　scene。



〃What！〃　cried　Vernier；　delighted　at　the　presence　of　an　audience；　〃do

you　think　we　have　no　right　to　make　fun　of　a　man　who　comes　here；　bag

and　baggage；　and　demands　that　we　hand　over　our　property　because；

forsooth；　he　is　pleased　to　call　us　great　men；　painters；　artists；

poets；mixing　us　up　gratuitously　with　a　set　of　fools　who　have　neither

house　nor　home；　nor　sous　nor　sense？　Why　should　we　put　up　with　a　rascal

who　comes　here　and　wants　us　to　feather　his　nest　by　subscribing　to　a

newspaper　which　preaches　a　new　religion　whose　first　doctrine　is；　if

you　please；　that　we　are　not　to　inherit　from　our　fathers　and　mothers？

On　my　sacred　word　of　honor；　Pere　Margaritis　said　things　a　great　deal

more　sensible。　And　now；　what　are　you　complaining　about？　You　and

Margaritis　seemed　to　understand　each　other。　The　gentlemen　here　present

can　testify　that　if　you　had　talked　to　the　whole　canton　you　couldn't

have　been　as　well　understood。〃



〃That's　all　very　well　for　you　to　say；　but　I　have　been　insulted；

Monsieur；　and　I　demand　satisfaction！〃



〃Very　good；　Monsieur！　consider　yourself　insulted；　if　you　like。　I　shall

not　give　you　satisfaction；　because　there　is　neither　rhyme　nor　reason

nor　satisfaction　to　be　found　in　the　whole　business。　What　an　absurd

fool　he　is；　to　be　sure！〃



At　these　words　Gaudissart　flew　at　the　dyer　to　give　him　a　slap　on　the

face；　but　the　listening　crowd　rushed　between　them；　so　that　the

illustrious　traveller　only　contrived　to　knock　off　the　wig　of　his

enemy；　which　fell　on　the　head　of　Mademoiselle　Clara　Vernier。



〃If　you　are　not　satisfied；　Monsieur；〃　he　said；　〃I　shall　be　at　the

Soleil　d'Or　until　to…morrow　morning；　and　you　will　find　me　ready　to

show　you　what　it　means　to　give　satisfaction。　I　fought　in　July；

Monsieur。〃



〃And　you　shall　fight　in　Vouvray；〃　answered　the　dyer；　〃and　what　is

more；　you　shall　stay　here　longer　than　you　imagine。〃



Gaudissart　marched　off；　turning　over　in　his　mind　this　prophetic

remark；　which　seemed　to　him　full　of　sinister　portent。　For　the　first

time　in　his　life　the　prince　of　travellers　did　not　dine　jovially。　The

whole　town　of　Vouvray　was　put　in　a　ferment　about　the　〃affair〃　between

Monsieur　Vernier　and　the　apostle　of　Sain