the illustrious gaudissart-第10节
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whole town of Vouvray was put in a ferment about the 〃affair〃 between
Monsieur Vernier and the apostle of Saint…Simonism。 Never before had
the tragic event of a duel been so much as heard of in that benign and
happy valley。
〃Monsieur Mitouflet； I am to fight to…morrow with Monsieur Vernier；〃
said Gaudissart to his landlord。 〃I know no one here： will you be my
second？〃
〃Willingly；〃 said the host。
Gaudissart had scarcely finished his dinner before Madame Fontanieu
and the assistant…mayor of Vouvray came to the Soleil d'Or and took
Mitouflet aside。 They told him it would be a painful and injurious
thing to the whole canton if a violent death were the result of this
affair； they represented the pitiable distress of Madame Vernier； and
conjured him to find some way to arrange matters and save the credit
of the district。
〃I take it all upon myself；〃 said the sagacious landlord。
In the evening he went up to the traveller's room carrying pens； ink；
and paper。
〃What have you got there？〃 asked Gaudissart。
〃If you are going to fight to…morrow；〃 answered Mitouflet； 〃you had
better make some settlement of your affairs； and perhaps you have
letters to write；we all have beings who are dear to us。 Writing
doesn't kill； you know。 Are you a good swordsman？ Would you like to
get your hand in？ I have some foils。〃
〃Yes； gladly。〃
Mitouflet returned with foils and masks。
〃Now； then； let us see what you can do。〃
The pair put themselves on guard。 Mitouflet； with his former prowess
as grenadier of the guard； made sixty…two passes at Gaudissart； pushed
him about right and left； and finally pinned him up against the wall。
〃The deuce！ you are strong；〃 said Gaudissart； out of breath。
〃Monsieur Vernier is stronger than I am。〃
〃The devil！ Damn it； I shall fight with pistols。〃
〃I advise you to do so； because； if you take large holster pistols and
load them up to their muzzles； you can't risk anything。 They are SURE
to fire wide of the mark； and both parties can retire from the field
with honor。 Let me manage all that。 Hein！ 'sapristi；' two brave men
would be arrant fools to kill each other for a joke。〃
〃Are you sure the pistols will carry WIDE ENOUGH？ I should be sorry to
kill the man； after all；〃 said Gaudissart。
〃Sleep in peace；〃 answered Mitouflet； departing。
The next morning the two adversaries； more or less pale； met beside
the bridge of La Cise。 The brave Vernier came near shooting a cow
which was peaceably feeding by the roadside。
〃Ah； you fired in the air！〃 cried Gaudissart。
At these words the enemies embraced。
〃Monsieur；〃 said the traveller； 〃your joke was rather rough； but it
was a good one for all that。 I am sorry I apostrophized you： I was
excited。 I regard you as a man of honor。〃
〃Monsieur； we take twenty subscriptions to the 'Children's Journal；'〃
replied the dyer； still pale。
〃That being so；〃 said Gaudissart； 〃why shouldn't we all breakfast
together？ Men who fight are always the ones to come to a good
understanding。〃
〃Monsieur Mitouflet；〃 said Gaudissart on his return to the inn； 〃of
course you have got a sheriff's officer here？〃
〃What for？〃
〃I want to send a summons to my good friend Margaritis to deliver the
two casks of wine。〃
〃But he has not got them；〃 said Vernier。
〃No matter for that； the affair can be arranged by the payment of an
indemnity。 I won't have it said that Vouvray outwitted the illustrious
Gaudissart。〃
Madame Margaritis； alarmed at the prospect of a suit in which the
plaintiff would certainly win his case； brought thirty francs to the
placable traveller； who thereupon considered himself quits with the
happiest region of sunny France；a region which is also； we must add；
the most recalcitrant to new and progressive ideas。
On returning from his trip through the southern departments； the
illustrious Gaudissart occupied the coupe of a diligence； where he met
a young man to whom； as they journeyed between Angouleme and Paris； he
deigned to explain the enigmas of life； taking him； apparently； for an
infant。
As they passed Vouvray the young man exclaimed； 〃What a fine site！〃
〃Yes； Monsieur；〃 said Gaudissart； 〃but not habitable on account of the
people。 You get into duels every day。 Why； it is not three months
since I fought one just there；〃 pointing to the bridge of La Cise；
〃with a damned dyer； but I made an end of him；he bit the dust！〃
ADDENDUM
The following personages appear in other stories of the Human Comedy。
Finot； Andoche
Cesar Birotteau
A Bachelor's Establishment
A Distinguished Provincial at Paris
Scenes from a Courtesan's Life
The Government Clerks
A Start in Life
The Firm of Nucingen
Gaudissart； Felix
Scenes from a Courtesan's Life
Cousin Pons
Cesar Birotteau
Honorine
Popinot； Anselme
Cesar Birotteau
Cousin Pons
Cousin Betty
End
