white fang(白牙)-第13节
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The grey cub's eyes had not been open long； yet already he could see
with steady clearness。 And while his eyes were still closed； he had felt；
tasted； and smelled。 He knew his two brothers and his two sisters very
well。 He had begun to romp with them in a feeble； awkward way； and even
to squabble； his little throat vibrating with a queer rasping noise （the
forerunner of the growl）； as he worked himself into a passion。 And long
before his eyes had opened he had learned by touch； taste； and smell to
know his mother … a fount of warmth and liquid food and tenderness。 She
possessed a gentle； caressing tongue that soothed him when it passed over
his soft little body； and that impelled him to snuggle close against her and
to doze off to sleep。
Most of the first month of his life had been passed thus in sleeping； but
now he could see quite well； and he stayed awake for longer periods of
time； and he was coming to learn his world quite well。 His world was
gloomy； but he did not know that； for he knew no other world。 It was dim…
lighted； but his eyes had never had to adjust themselves to any other light。
His world was very small。 Its limits were the walls of the lair； but as he
had no knowledge of the wide world outside； he was never oppressed by
the narrow confines of his existence。
But he had early discovered that one wall of his world was different
from the rest。 This was the mouth of the cave and the source of light。 He
had discovered that it was different from the other walls long before he
had any thoughts of his own； any conscious volitions。 It had been an
irresistible attraction before ever his eyes opened and looked upon it。 The
light from it had beat upon his sealed lids； and the eyes and the optic
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nerves had pulsated to little； sparklike flashes； warm…coloured and
strangely pleasing。 The life of his body； and of every fibre of his body； the
life that was the very substance of his body and that was apart from his
own personal life； had yearned toward this light and urged his body
toward it in the same way that the cunning chemistry of a plant urges it
toward the sun。
Always； in the beginning； before his conscious life dawned； he had
crawled toward the mouth of the cave。 And in this his brothers and sisters
were one with him。 Never； in that period； did any of them crawl toward the
dark corners of the back…wall。 The light drew them as if they were plants；
the chemistry of the life that composed them demanded the light as a
necessity of being； and their little puppet…bodies crawled blindly and
chemically； like the tendrils of a vine。 Later on； when each developed
individuality and became personally conscious of impulsions and desires；
the attraction of the light increased。 They were always crawling and
sprawling toward it； and being driven back from it by their mother。
It was in this way that the grey cub learned other attributes of his
mother than the soft； soothing； tongue。 In his insistent crawling toward the
light； he discovered in her a nose that with a sharp nudge administered
rebuke； and later； a paw； that crushed him down and rolled him over and
over with swift； calculating stroke。 Thus he learned hurt； and on top of it
he learned to avoid hurt； first； by not incurring the risk of it； and second；
when he had incurred the risk； by dodging and by retreating。 These were
conscious actions； and were the results of his first generalisations upon the
world。 Before that he had recoiled automatically from hurt； as he had
crawled automatically toward the light。 After that he recoiled from hurt
because he KNEW that it was hurt。
He was a fierce little cub。 So were his brothers and sisters。 It was to be
expected。 He was a carnivorous animal。 He came of a breed of meat…
killers and meat…eaters。 His father and mother lived wholly upon meat。
The milk he had sucked with his first flickering life； was milk transformed
directly from meat； and now； at a month old； when his eyes had been open
for but a week； he was beginning himself to eat meat … meat half…digested
by the she…wolf and disgorged for the five growing cubs that already made
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too great demand upon her breast。
But he was； further； the fiercest of the litter。 He could make a louder
rasping growl than any of them。 His tiny rages were much more terrible
than theirs。 It was he that first learned the trick of rolling a fellow…cub over
with a cunning paw…stroke。 And it was he that first gripped another cub by
the ear and pulled and tugged and growled through jaws tight…clenched。
And certainly it was he that caused the mother the most trouble in keeping
her litter from the mouth of the cave。
The fascination of the light for the grey cub increased from day to day。
He was perpetually departing on yard…long adventures toward the cave's
entrance； and as perpetually being driven back。 Only he did not know it
for an entrance。 He did not know anything about entrances … passages
whereby one goes from one place to another place。 He did not know any
other place； much less of a way to get there。 So to him the entrance of the
cave was a wall … a wall of light。 As the sun was to the outside dweller； this
wall was to him the sun of his world。 It attracted him as a candle attracts a
moth。 He was always striving to attain it。 The life that was so swiftly
expanding within him； urged him continually toward the wall of light。 The
life that was within him knew that it was the one way out； the way he was
predestined to tread。 But he himself did not know anything about it。 He
did not know there was any outside at all。
There was one strange thing about this wall of light。 His father （he had
already come to recognise his father as the one other dweller in the world；
a creature like his mother； who slept near the light and was a bringer of
meat） … his father had a way of walking right into the white far wall and
disappearing。 The grey cub could not understand this。 Though never
permitted by his mother to approach that wall； he had approached the
other walls； and encountered hard obstruction on the end of his tender
nose。 This hurt。 And after several such adventures； he left the walls alone。
Without thinking about it； he accepted this disappearing into the wall as a
peculiarity of his father； as milk and half… digested meat were peculiarities
of his mother。
In fact； the grey cub was not given to thinking … at least； to the kind of
thinking customary of men。 His brain worked in dim ways。 Yet his
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conclusions were as sharp and distinct as those achieved by men。 He had a
method of accepting things； without questioning the why and wherefore。
In reality； this was the act of classification。 He was never disturbed over
why a thing happened。 How it happened was sufficient for him。 Thus；
when he had bumped his nose on the back…wall a few times； he accepted
that he would not disappear into walls。 In the same way he accepted that
his father could disappear into walls。 But he was not in the least disturbed
by desire to find out the reason for the difference between his father and
himself。 Logic and physics were no part of his mental make…up。
Like most creatures of the Wild； he early experienced famine。 There
came a time when not only did the meat…supply cease； but the milk no
longer came from his mother's breast。 At first； the cubs whimpered and
cried； but for the most part they slept。 It was not long before they were
reduced to a coma of hunger。 There were no more spats and squabbles； no
more tiny rages nor attempts at growling； while the adventures toward the
far white wall ceased altogether。 The cubs slept； while the life that was in
them flickered and died down。
One Eye was desperate。 He ranged far and wi
