the blue flower-第26节

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farewell。〃

But　John　let　the　golden　collar　fall　on　the　marble　floor。
〃Tell　your　master　that　we　shall　talk　together　again；　in　due
time；〃　said　he；　as　he　passed　sadly　out　of
the　hall。

The　love　of　Athenais　and　Hermas　was　like　a　tiny　rivulet
that　sinks　out　of　sight　in　a　cavern；　but　emerges　again　a
bright　and　brimming　stream。　　The　careless　comradery　of
childhood　was　mysteriously　changed　into　a　complete
companionship。

When　Athenais　entered　the　House　of　the　Golden　Pillars　as
a　bride；　all　the　music　of　life　came　with　her。　　Hermas　called
the　feast　of　her　welcome　〃the　banquet　of　the　full　chord。〃　　Day
after　day；　night　after　night；　week　after　week；　month　after
month；　the　bliss　of　the　home　unfolded　like　a　rose　of　a
thousand　leaves。　　When　a　child　came　to　them；　a　strong；
beautiful　boy；　worthy　to　be　the　heir　of　such　a　house；　the
heart　of　the　rose　was　filled　with　overflowing　fragrance。
Happiness　was　heaped　upon　happiness。　　Every　wish　brought　its
own　accomplishment。　　Wealth；　honour；　beauty；　peace；　loveit
was　an　abundance　of　felicity　so　great　that　the　soul　of　Hermas
could　hardly　contain　it。

Strangely　enough；　it　began　to　press　upon　him；　to　trouble
him　with　the　very　excess　of　joy。　　He　felt　as　if　there　were
something　yet　needed　to　complete　and　secure　it　all。　　There　was　an
urgency　within　him；　a　longing　to　find　some　outlet　for　his
feelings；　he　knew　not　howsome　expression　and　culmination　of　his
happiness；　he　knew　not　what。

Under　his　joyous　demeanour　a　secret　fire　of　restlessness
began　to　burnan　expectancy　of　something　yet　to　come　which
should　put　the　touch　of　perfection　on　his　life。　　He　spoke　of
it　to　Athenais；　as　they　sat　together；　one　summer　evening；　in
a　bower　of　jasmine；　with　their　boy　playing　at　their　feet。
There　had　been　music　in　the　garden；　but　now　the　singers　and
lute…players　had　withdrawn；　leaving　the　master　and　mistress
alone　in　the　lingering　twilight；　tremulous　with　inarticulate
melody　of　unseen　birds。　　There　was　a　secret　voice　in　the　hour
seeking　vainly　for　utterance　a　word　waiting　to　be　spoken。

〃How　deep　is　our　happiness；　my　beloved！〃　said　Hermas；
〃deeper　than　the　sea　that　slumbers　yonder；　below　the　city。
And　yet　it　is　not　quite　full　and　perfect。　　There　is　a　depth　of
joy　that　we　have　not　yet　knowna　repose　of　happiness　that　is
still　beyond　us。　　What　is　it？　　I　have　no　superstitions；　like　the
king　who　cast　his　signet…ring　into　the　sea　because　he　dreaded
that　some　secret　vengeance　would　fall　on　his　unbroken　good
fortune。　　That　was　an　idle　terror。　　But　there　is　something
that　oppresses　me　like　an　invisible　burden。　　There　is
something　still　undone；　unspoken；　unfeltsomething　that　we
need　to　complete　everything。　　Have　you　not　felt　it；　too？　　Can
you　not　lead　me　to　it？〃

〃Yes；〃　she　answered；　lifting　her　eyes　to　his　face；　〃I；
too；　have　felt　it；　Hermas；　this　burden；　this　need；　this
unsatisfied　longing。　　I　think　I　know　what　it　means。　　It　is
gratitudethe　language　of　the　heart；　the　music　of　happiness。
There　is　no　perfect　joy　without　gratitude。　　But　we　have　never
learned　it；　and　the　want　of　it　troubles　us。　　It　is　like　being
dumb　with　a　heart　full　of　love。　　We　must　find　the　word　for　it；
and　say　it　together。　　Then　we　shall　be　perfectly　joined　in
perfect　joy。　　Come；　my　dear　lord；　let　us　take　the　boy　with　us；
and　give　thanks。〃

Hermas　lifted　the　child　in　his　arms；　and　turned　with
Athenais　into　the　depth　of　the　garden。　　There　was　a　dismantled
shrine　of　some　forgotten　fashion　of　worship　half…hidden　among　the
luxuriant　flowers。　　A　fallen　image　lay　beside　it；　face　downward
in　the　grass。　　They　stood　there；　hand　in　hand；　the　boy　drowsily
resting　on　his　father's　shoulder。

Silently　the　roseate　light　caressed　the　tall　spires　of　the
cypress…trees；　silently　the　shadows　gathered　at　their　feet；
silently　the　tranquil　stars　looked　out　from　the　deepening　arch
of　heaven。　　The　very　breath　of　being　paused。　　It　was　the　hour
of　culmination；　the　supreme　moment　of　felicity　waiting　for　its
crown。　　The　tones　of　Hermas　were　clear　and　low　as　he　began；
half…speaking　and　half…chanting；　in　the　rhythm　of　an　ancient
song：

〃Fair　is　the　world；　the　sea；　the　sky；　the　double　kingdom
of　day　and　night；　in　the　glow　of　morning；　in　the　shadow　of
evening；　and　under　the　dripping　light　of　stars。

〃Fairer　still　is　life　in　our　breasts；　with　its　manifold
music　and　meaning；　with　its　wonder　of　seeing　and　hearing　and
feeling　and　knowing　and　being。

〃Fairer　and　still　more　fair　is　love；　that　draws　us　together；
mingles　our　lives　in　its　flow；　and　bears　them　along　like　a　river；
strong　and　clear　and　swift；　reflecting　the　stars　in　its　bosom。

〃Wide　is　our　world；　we　are　rich；　we　have　all　things。　　Life
is　abundant　within　usa　measureless　deep。　　Deepest　of　all　is
our　love；　and　it　longs　to　speak。

〃Come；　thou　final　word；　Come；　thou　crown　of　speech！　　Come；
thou　charm　of　peace！　　Open　the　gates　of　our　hearts。　　Lift　the
weight　of　our　joy　and　bear　it　upward。

〃For　all　good　gifts；　for　all　perfect　gifts；　for　love；　for
life；　for　the　world；　we　praise；　we　bless；　we　thank〃


As　a　soaring　bird；　struck　by　an　arrow；　falls　headlong　from
the　sky；　so　the　song　of　Hermas　fell。　　At　the　end　of　his　flight
of　gratitude　there　was　nothinga　blank；　a　hollow　space。


He　looked　for　a　face；　and　saw　a　void。　　He　sought　for　a
hand；　and　clasped　vacancy。　　His　heart　was　throbbing　and
swelling　with　passion；　the　bell　swung　to　and　fro　within　him；
beating　from　side　to　side　as　if　it　would　burst；　but　not　a
single　note　came　from　it。　　All　the　fulness　of　his　feeling；
that　had　risen　upward　like　a　fountain；　fell　back　from　the　empty
sky；　as　cold　as　snow；　as　hard　as　hail；　frozen　and　dead。　　There
was　no　meaning　in　his　happiness。　　No　one　had　sent　it　to　him。
There　was　no　one　to　thank　for　it。　　His　felicity　was　a　closed
circle；　a　wall　of　ice。

〃Let　us　go　back；〃　he　said　sadly　to　Athenais；　〃the　child　is
heavy　upon　my　shoulder。　　We　will　lay　him　to　sleep；　and　go　into
the　library。　　The　air　grows　chilly。　　We　were　mistaken。　　The
gratitude　of　life　is　only　a　dream。　　There　is　no　one　to　thank。〃

And　in　the　garden　it　was　already　night。



V

No　outward　change　came　to　the　House　of　the　Golden　Pillars。
Everything　moved　as　smoothly；　as　delicately；　as　prosperously；
as　before。　　But　inwardly　there　was　a　subtle；　inexplicable
transformation。　　A　vague　discontent；　a　final　and　inevitable
sense　of　incompleteness；　overshadowed　existence　from　that
night　when　Hermas　realised　that　his　joy　could　never　go　beyond
itself。

The　next　morning　the　old　man　whom　he　had　seen　in　the　Grove
of　Daphne；　but　never　since；　appeared　mysteriously　at　the　door
of　the　house；　as　if　he　had　been　sent　for；　and　entered　like　an
invited　guest。

Hermas　could　not　but　make　him　welcome；　and　at　first　he
tried　to　regard　him　with　reverence　and　affection　as　the　one
through　whom　fortune　had　come。　　But　it　was　impossible。　　There
was　a　chill　in　the　inscrutable　smile　of　Marcion；　as　he　called
himself；　that　seemed　to　mock　at　reverence。　　He　was　in　the
house　as　one　watching　a　strange　experimenttranquil；
interested；　ready　to　supply　anything　that　might　be　needed　for
its　completion；　but　thoroughly　indifferent　to　the　feelings　of
the　subject；　an　anatomist　of　life；　looking　curiously　to　see
how　long　it　would　continue；　and　how　it　would　act；　after　the
heart　had　been　removed。

In　his　presence　Hermas　was　conscious　of　a　certain
irritation；　a　resentful　anger　against　the　calm；　frigid
scrutiny　of　the　eyes　that　followed　him　everywhere；　like　a　pair
of　spies；　peering　out　over　the　smiling　mouth　and　the　long
white　beard。

〃Why　do　you　look　at　me　so　curiously？〃　asked　Hermas；　one
morning；　as　they　sat　together　in　the　library。　　〃Do　you　see
anything　strange　in　me？〃

〃No；〃　answered　　Marcion；　〃something　familiar。〃

〃And　what　is　that？〃

〃A　singular　likeness　to　a　discontented　young　man　that　I
met　some　years　ago　in　the　Grove　of　Daphne。〃

〃But　why　should　that　interest　you？　　Surely　it　was　to　be
expected。〃

〃A　thing　that　we　expect　often　surprises　us　when　we　see　it。
Besides；　my　curiosity　is　piqued。　　I　suspect　you　of　keeping　a
secret　from　me。〃

〃You　are　jesting　with　me。　　There　is　nothing　in　my　life
that　you　do　not　know。　　What　is　the　secret？〃

〃Nothing　more　than　the　wish　to　have　one。　　You　are　growing
tired　of　your　bargain。　　The　play　wearies　you。　　That　is
foolish。　　Do　you　want　to　try　a　new　part？〃

The　question　was　like　a　mirror　upon　which　one　comes
suddenly　in　a　half…lighted　room。　　A　quick　illumination　falls　on
it；　and　the　passer…by　is　startled　by　the　look　of　his　own　face。

〃You　are　right；〃　said　Hermas。　　〃I　am　tired。　　We　have　been
going　on　stupidly　in　this　house；　as　if　nothing　were　possible
but　what　my　father　had　done　before　me。　　There　is　nothing
original　in　being　rich；　and　well…fed；　and　well…dressed。
Thousands　of　men　have　tried　it；　and　have　not　been　satisfied。　　Let
us　do　something　new。　　Let　us　make　a　mark　in　the　world。〃

〃It　is　well　said；〃　nodded　the　old　man；　〃you　are　speaking
again　like　a　man　after　my　own　heart。　　There　is　no　folly　but
the　loss　of　an　opportunity　to　enjoy　a　new　sensation。〃

From　that　day　Hermas　seemed　to　be　possessed　with　a
perpetual　haste；　an　uneasiness　that　left　him　no　repose。　　The
summit　of　life　had　been　attained；　the　highest　possible　point
of　felicity。　　Henceforward