the blue flower-第25节

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him。　　A　cool　languor　of　delight　flowed　back　through　every
vein；　and　he　sank　into　a　profound　sleep。


III

There　is　a　slumber　so　deep　that　it　annihilates　time。　　It　is
like　a　fragment　of　eternity。　　Beneath　its　enchantment　of
vacancy；　a　day　seems　like　a　thousand　years；　and　a　thousand
years　might　well　pass　as　one　day。

It　was　such　a　sleep　that　fell　upon　Hermas　in　the　Grove　of
Daphne。　　An　immeasurable　period；　an　interval　of　life　so　blank
and　empty　that　he　could　not　tell　whether　it　was　long　or　short；
had　passed　over　him　when　his　senses　began　to　stir　again。　　The
setting　sun　was　shooting　arrows　of　gold　under　the　glossy
laurel…leaves。　　He　rose　and　stretched　his　arms；　grasping　a
smooth　branch　above　him　and　shaking　it；　to　make　sure　that　he
was　alive。　　Then　he　hurried　back　toward　Antioch；　treading
lightly　as　if　on　air。

The　ground　seemed　to　spring　beneath　his　feet。　　Already　his
life　had　changed；　he　knew　not　how。　　Something　that　did　not
belong　to　him　had　dropped　away；　he　had　returned　to　a　former
state　of　being。　He　felt　as　if　anything　might　happen　to　him；　and
he　was　ready　for　anything。　　He　was　a　new　man；　yet　curiously
familiar　to　himselfas　if　he　had　done　with　playing　a　tiresome
part　and　returned　to　his　natural　state。　　He　was　buoyant　and　free；
without　a　care；　a　doubt；　a　fear。

As　he　drew　near　to　his　father's　house　he　saw　a　confusion
of　servants　in　the　porch；　and　the　old　steward　ran　down　to　meet
him　at　the　gate。

〃Lord；　we　have　been　seeking　you　everywhere。　　The　master　is
at　the　point　of　death；　and　has　sent　for　you。　　Since　the　sixth
hour　he　calls　your　name　continually。　　Come　to　him　quickly；
lord；　for　I　fear　the　time　is　short。〃

Hermas　entered　the　house　at　once；　nothing　could　amaze　him
to…day。　　His　father　lay　on　an　ivory　couch　in　the　inmost
chamber；　with　shrunken　face　and　restless　eyes；　his　lean
fingers　picking　incessantly　at　the　silken　coverlet。

〃My　son！〃　he　murmured；　〃Hermas；　my　son！　　It　is　good　that
you　have　come　back　to　me。　　I　have　missed　you。　　I　was　wrong　to
send　you　away。　　You　shall　never　leave　me　again。　　You　are　my
son；　my　heir。　　I　have　changed　everything。　　Hermas；　my　son；　come
nearerclose　beside　me。　　Take　my　hand；　my　son！〃

The　young　man　obeyed；　and；　kneeling　by　the　couch；　gathered
his　father's　cold；　twitching　fingers　in　his　firm；　warm　grasp。

〃Hermas；　life　is　passinglong；　rich；　prosperous；　the　last
sands；　I　cannot　stay　them。　　My　religion；　a　good　policyJulian
was　my　friend。　　But　now　he　is　gonewhere？　　My　soul　is
emptynothing　beyondvery　darkI　am　afraid。　　But　you　know
something　better。　　You　found　something　that　made　you　willing
to　give　up　your　life　for　itit；　must　have　been　almost　like
dyingyet　you　were　happy。　　What　was　it　you　found？　　See；　I　am
giving　you　everything。　　I　have　forgiven　you。　　Now　forgive　me。
Tell　me；　what　is　it？　　Your　secret；　your　faithgive　it　to　me
before　I　go。〃

At　the　sound　of　this　broken　pleading　a　strange　passion　of
pity　and　love　took　the　young　man　by　the　throat。　　His　voice
shook　a　little　as　he　answered　eagerly：

〃Father；　there　is　nothing　to　forgive。　　I　am　your　son；　I　will
gladly　tell　you　all　that　I　know。　　I　will　give　you　the　secret。
Father；　you　must　believe　with　all　your　heart；　and　soul；　and
strength　in〃

Where　was　the　wordthe　word　that　he　had　been　used　to
utter　night　and　morning；　the　word　that　had　meant　to　him　more
than　he　had　ever　known？　　What　had　become　of　it？

He　groped　for　it　in　the　dark　room　of　his　mind。　　He　had
thought　he　could　lay　his　hand　upon　it　in　a　moment；　but　it　was
gone。　　Some　one　had　taken　it　away。　　Everything　else　was　most
clear　to　him：　the　terror　of　death；　the　lonely　soul　appealing
from　his　father's　eyes；　the　instant　need　of　comfort　and　help。
But　at　the　one　point　where　he　looked　for　help　he　could　find
nothing；　only　an　empty　space。　　The　word　of　hope　had　vanished。
He　felt　for　it　blindly　and　in　desperate　haste。

〃Father；　wait！　　I　have　forgotten　somethingit　has　slipped
away　from　me。　　I　shall　find　it　in　a　moment。　　There　is　hopeI
will　tell　you　presentlyoh；　wait！〃

The　bony　hand　gripped　his　like　a　vice；　the　glazed　eyes　opened
wider。　　〃Tell　me；〃　whispered　the　old　man；　〃tell　me　quickly；　for　I
must　go。〃

The　voice　sank　into　a　dull　rattle。　　The　fingers　closed
once　more；　and　relaxed。　　The　light　behind　the　eyes　went　out。

Hermas；　the　master　of　the　House　of　the　Golden　Pillars；　was
keeping　watch　by　the　dead。



IV

The　break　with　the　old　life　was　as　clean　as　if　it　had　been　cut
with　a　knife。　　Some　faint　image　of　a　hermit's　cell；　a　bare
lodging　in　a　back　street　of　Antioch；　a　class…room　full　of
earnest　students；　remained　in　Hermas'　memory。　　Some　dull　echo
of　the　voice　of　John　the　Presbyter；　and　the　measured　sound　of
chanting；　and　the　murmur　of　great　congregations；　still
lingered　in　his　ears；　but　it　was　like　something　that　had
happened　to　another　person；　something　that　he　had　read　long
ago；　but　of　which　he　had　lost　the　meaning。

His　new　life　was　full　and　smooth　and　richtoo　rich　for
any　sense　of　loss　to　make　itself　felt。　　There　were　a　hundred
affairs　to　busy　him；　and　the　days　ran　swiftly　by　as　if　they　were
shod　with　winged　sandals。

Nothing　needed　to　be　considered；　prepared　for；　begun。
Everything　was　ready　and　waiting　for　him。　　All　that　he　had　to
do　was　to　go　on。

The　estate　of　Demetrius　was　even　greater　than　the　world
had　supposed。　　There　were　fertile　lands　in　Syria　which　the
emperor　had　given　him；　marble…quarries　in　Phrygia；　and　forests
of　valuable　timber　in　Cilicia；　the　vaults　of　the　villa
contained　chests　of　gold　and　silver；　the　secret　cabinets　in
the　master's　room　were　full　of　precious　stones。　　The　stewards
were　diligent　and　faithful。　　The　servants　of　the　household
rejoiced　at　the　young　master's　return。　　His　table　was　spread；
the　rose…garland　of　pleasure　was　woven　for　his　head；　his　cup
was　overflowing　with　the　spicy　wine　of　power。

The　period　of　mourning　for　his　father　came　at　a　fortunate
moment　to　seclude　and　safeguard　him　from　the　storm　of
political　troubles　and　persecutions　that　fell　upon　Antioch
after　the　insults　offered　by　the　people　to　the　imperial
statues　in　the　year　387。　　The　friends　of　Demetrius；　prudent　and
conservative　persons；　gathered　around　Hermas　and　made　him　welcome
to　their　circle。　　Chief　among　them　was　Libanius；　the　sophist；　his
nearest　neighbour；　whose　daughter　Athenais　had　been　the　playmate
of　Hermas　in　the　old　days。

He　had　left　her　a　child。　　He　found　her　a　beautiful　woman。
What　transformation　is　so　magical；　so　charming；　as　this？　　To
see　the　uncertain　lines　of　youth　rounded　into　firmness　and
symmetry；　to　discover　the　half…ripe；　merry；　changing　face　of
the　girl　matured　into　perfect　loveliness；　and　looking　at　you
with　calm；　clear；　serious　eyes；　not　forgetting　the　past；　but
fully　conscious　of　the　changed　presentthis　is　to　behold　a
miracle　in　the　flesh。

〃Where　have　you　been；　these　two　years？〃　said　Athenais；　as
they　walked　together　through　the　garden　of　lilies　where　they
had　so　often　played。

〃In　a　land　of　tiresome　dreams；〃　answered　Hermas；　〃but　you
have　wakened　me；　and　I　am　never　going　back　again。〃

It　was　not　to　be　supposed　that　the　sudden　disappearance　of
Hermas　from　among　his　former　associates　could　long　remain
unnoticed。　　At　first　it　was　a　mystery。　　There　was　a　fear；　for　two
or　three　days；　that　he　might　be　lost。　　Some　of　his　more　intimate
companions　maintained　that　his　devotion　had　led　him　out　into　the
desert　to　join　the　anchorites。　　But　the　news　of　his　return　to　the
House　of　the　Golden　Pillars；　and　of　his　new　life　as　its
master；　filtered　quickly　through　the　gossip　of　the　city。

Then　the　church　was　filled　with　dismay　and　grief　and
reproach。　　Messengers　and　letters　were　sent　to　Hermas。　　They
disturbed　him　a　little；　but　they　took　no　hold　upon　him。　　It
seemed　to　him　as　if　the　messengers　spoke　in　a　strange
language。　　As　he　read　the　letters　there　were　words　blotted　out
of　the　writing　which　made　the　full　sense　unintelligible。

His　old　companions　came　to　reprove　him　for　leaving　them；
to　warn　him　of　the　peril　of　apostasy；　to　entreat　him　to
return。　　It　all　sounded　vague　and　futile。　　They　spoke　as　if　he
had　betrayed　or　offended　some　one；　but　when　they　came　to　name
the　object　of　his　fearthe　one　whom　he　had　displeased；　and　to
whom　he　should　returnhe　heard　nothing；　there　was　a　blur　of
silence　in　their　speech。　　The　clock　pointed　to　the　hour；　but　the
bell　did　not　strike。　　At　last　Hermas　refused　to　see　them　any
more。

One　day　John　the　Presbyter　stood　in　the　atrium。　　Hermas
was　entertaining　Libanius　and　Athenais　in　the　banquet…hall。
When　the　visit　of　the　Presbyter　was　announced；　the　young
master　loosed　a　collar　of　gold　and　jewels　from　his　neck；　and
gave　it　to　his　scribe。

〃Take　this　to　John　of　Antioch；　and　tell　him　it　is　a　gift
from　his　former　pupilas　a　token　of　remembrance；　or　to　spend
for　the　poor　of　the　city。　　I　will　always　send　him　what　he
wants；　but　it　is　idle　for　us　to　talk　together　any　more。　　I　do
not　understand　what　he　says。　　I　have　not　gone　to　the　temple；
nor　offered　sacrifice；　nor　denied　his　teaching。　　I　have　simply
forgotten。　　I　do　not　think　about　those　things　any　longer。　　I
am　only　living。　　A　happy　man　wishes　him　all　happiness　and
farewell。〃

But　John　let　the　golden　collar　fall　on　the　marble　floor。
〃Tell　your　mast