the blue flower-第23节

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sense　of　duty；　bound　him。　　He　could　not　go　back　to　the　old
careless　pagan　life　again；　for　something　had　happened　within
him　which　made　a　return　impossible。　　Doubtless　he　had　found
the　true　religion；　but　he　had　found　it　only　as　a　task　and　a
burden；　its　joy　and　peace　had　slipped　away　from　him。

He　felt　disillusioned　and　robbed。　　He　sat　beside　his　hard
couch；　waiting　without　expectancy　for　the　gray　dawn　of　another
empty　day；　and　hardly　lifting　his　head　at　the　shouts　of　his
friends。

〃Come　down；　Hermas；　you　sluggard！　　Come　down！　　It　is
Christmas　morn。　　Awake；　and　be　glad　with　us！〃

〃I　am　coming；〃　he　answered　listlessly；　〃only　have　patience
a　moment。　　I　have　been　awake　since　midnight；　and　waiting　for
the　day。〃

〃You　hear　him！〃　said　his　friends　one　to　another。　　〃How　he
puts　us　all　to　shame！　　He　is　more　watchful；　more　eager；　than
any　of　us。　　Our　master；　John　the　Presbyter；　does　well　to　be
proud　of　him。　　He　is　the　best　man　in　our　class。〃

While　they　were　talking　the　door　opened　and　Hermas　stepped
out。　　He　was　a　figure　to　be　remarked　in　any　companytall；
broad…shouldered；　straight…hipped；　with　a　head　proudly　poised
on　the　firm　column　of　the　neck；　and　short　brown　curls
clustering　over　the　square　forehead。　　It　was　the　perpetual
type　of　vigorous　and　intelligent　young　manhood；　such　as　may　be
found　in　every　century　among　the　throngs　of　ordinary　men；　as
if　to　show　what　the　flower　of　the　race　should　be。　　But　the
light　in　his　eyes　was　clouded　and　uncertain；　his　smooth　cheeks
were　leaner　than　they　should　have　been　at　twenty；　and　there
were　downward　lines　about　his　mouth　which　spoke　of　desires
unsatisfied　and　ambitions　repressed。　　He　joined　his
companions　with　brief　greetings；a　nod　to　one；　a　word　to
another；and　they　passed　together　down　the　steep　street。

Overhead　the　mystery　of　daybreak　was　silently
transfiguring　the　sky。　　The　curtain　of　darkness　had　lifted
along　the　edge　of　the　horizon。　　The　ragged　crests　of　Mount
Silpius　were　outlined　with　pale　saffron　light。　　In　the　central
vault　of　heaven　a　few　large　stars　twinkled　drowsily。　　The
great　city；　still　chiefly　pagan；　lay　more　than　half…asleep。
But　multitudes　of　the　Christians；　dressed　in　white　and　carrying
lighted　torches　in　their　hands；　were　hurrying　toward　the
Basilica　of　Constantine　to　keep　the　new　holy…day　of　the
church；　the　festival　of　the　birthday　of　their　Master。

The　vast；　bare　building　was　soon　crowded；　and　the　younger
converts；　who　were　not　yet　permitted　to　stand　among　the
baptised；　found　it　difficult　to　come　to　their　appointed　place
between　the　first　two　pillars　of　the　house；　just　within　the
threshold。　　There　was　some　good…humoured　pressing　and　jostling
about　the　door；　but　the　candidates　pushed　steadily　forward。

〃By　your　leave；　friends；　our　station　is　beyond　you。　　Will
you　let　us　pass？　　Many　thanks。〃

A　touch　here；　a　courteous　nod　there；　a　little　patience；　a
little　persistence；　and　at　last　they　stood　in　their　place。
Hermas　was　taller　than　his　companions；　he　could　look　easily
over　their　heads　and　survey　the　sea　of　people　stretching　away
through　the　columns；　under　the　shadows　of　the　high　roof；　as
the　tide　spreads　on　a　calm　day　into　the　pillared　cavern　of
Staffa；　quiet　as　if　the　ocean　hardly　dared　to　breathe。　　The
light　of　many　flambeaux　fell；　in　flickering；　uncertain　rays；
over　the　assembly。　　At　the　end　of　the　vista　there　was　a　circle
of　clearer；　steadier　radiance。　　Hermas　could　see　the　bishop　in
his　great　chair；　surrounded　by　the　presbyters；　the　lofty　desks
on　either　side　for　the　readers　of　the　Scripture；　the
communion…table　and　the　table　of　offerings　in　the　middle　of
the　church。

The　call　to　prayer　sounded　down　the　long　aisle。　　Thousands
of　hands　were　joyously　lifted　in　the　air；　as　if　the　sea　had
blossomed　into　waving　lilies；　and　the　〃Amen〃　was　like　the
murmur　of　countless　ripples　in　an　echoing　place。

Then　the　singing　began；　led　by　the　choir　of　a　hundred
trained　voices　which　the　Bishop　Paul　had　founded　in　Antioch。
Timidly；　at　first；　the　music　felt　its　way；　as　the　people
joined　with　a　broken　and　uncertain　cadence：　the　mingling　of
many　little　waves　not　yet　gathered　into　rhythm　and　harmony。
Soon　the　longer；　stronger　billows　of　song　rolled　in；　sweeping
from　side　to　side　as　the　men　and　the　women　answered　in　the
clear　antiphony。

Hermas　had　often　been　carried　on　those

　　　　　　Tides　of　music's　golden　sea
　　　　　　Selling　toward　eternity。

But　to…day　his　heart　was　a　rock　that　stood　motionless。　　The
flood　passed　by　and　left　him　unmoved。

Looking　out　from　his　place　at　the　foot　of　the　pillar；　he
saw　a　man　standing　far　off　in　the　lofty　bema。　　Short　and
slender；　wasted　by　sickness；　gray　before　his　time；　with　pale
cheeks　and　wrinkled　brow；　he　seemed　at　first　like　a　person　of
no　significancea　reed　shaken　in　the　wind。　　But　there　was　a
look　in　his　deep…set；　poignant　eyes；　as　he　gathered　all　the
glances　of　the　multitude　to　himself；　that　belied　his　mean
appearance　and　prophesied　power。　　Hermas　knew　very　well　who　it
was：　the　man　who　had　drawn　him　from　his　father's　house；　the
teacher　who　was　instructing　him　as　a　son　in　the　Christian　faith；
the　guide　and　trainer　of　his　soulJohn　of　Antioch；　whose　fame
filled　the　city　and　began　to　overflow　Asia；　and　who　was　called
already　Chrysostom；　the　golden…mouthed　preacher。

Hermas　had　felt　the　magic　of　his　eloquence　many　a　time；
and　to…day；　as　the　tense　voice　vibrated　through　the　stillness；
and　the　sentences　moved　onward；　growing　fuller　and　stronger；
bearing　argosies　of　costly　rhetoric　and　treasures　of　homely
speech　in　their　bosom；　and　drawing　the　hearts　of　men　with　a
resistless　magic；　Hermas　knew　that　the　preacher　had　never　been
more　potent；　more　inspired。

He　played　on　that　immense　congregation　as　a　master　on　an
instrument。　　He　rebuked　their　sins；　and　they　trembled。　　He
touched　their　sorrows；　and　they　wept。　　He　spoke　of　the
conflicts；　the　triumphs；　the　glories　of　their　faith；　and　they
broke　out　in　thunders　of　applause。　　He　hushed　them　into　reverent
silence；　and　led　them　tenderly；　with　the　wise　men　of　the　East；　to
the　lowly　birthplace　of　Jesus。

〃Do　thou；　therefore；　likewise　leave　the　Jewish　people；　the
troubled　city；　the　bloodthirsty　tyrant；　the　pomp　of　the　world；
and　hasten　to　Bethlehem；　the　sweet　house　of　spiritual　bread。
For　though　thou　be　but　a　shepherd；　and　come　hither；　thou　shalt
behold　the　young　Child　in　an　inn。　　Though　thou　be　a　king；　and
come　not　hither；　thy　purple　robe　shall　profit　thee　nothing。
Though　thou　be　one　of　the　wise　men；　this　shall　be　no　hindrance
to　thee。　　Only　let　thy　coming　be　to　honour　and　adore；　with
trembling　joy；　the　Son　of　God；　to　whose　name　be　glory；　on　this
His　birthday；　and　forever　and　forever。〃

The　soul　of　Hermas　did　not　answer　to　the　musician's　touch。
The　strings　of　his　heart　were　slack　and　soundless；　there　was
no　response　within　him。　　He　was　neither　shepherd；　nor　king；
nor　wise　man；　only　an　unhappy；　dissatisfied；　questioning
youth。　　He　was　out　of　sympathy　with　the　eager　preacher；
the　joyous　hearers。　　In　their　harmony　he　had　no　part。　　Was　it
for　this　that　he　had　forsaken　his　inheritance　and　narrowed　his
life　to　poverty　and　hardship？　　What　was　it　all　worth？

The　gracious　prayers　with　which　the　young　converts　were
blessed　and　dismissed　before　the　sacrament　sounded　hollow　in
his　ears。　　Never　had　he　felt　so　utterly　lonely　as　in　that
praying　throng。　　He　went　out　with　his　companions　like　a　man
departing　from　a　banquet　where　all　but　he　had　been　fed。

〃Farewell；　Hermas；〃　they　cried；　as　he　turned　from　them　at
the　door。　　But　he　did　not　look　back；　nor　wave　his　hand。　　He
was　already　alone　in　his　heart。


When　he　entered　the　broad　Avenue　of　the　Colonnades；　the
sun　had　already　topped　the　eastern　hills；　and　the　ruddy　light
was　streaming　through　the　long　double　row　of　archways　and　over
the　pavements　of　crimson　marble。　　But　Hermas　turned　his　back
to　the　morning；　and　walked　with　his　shadow　before　him。

The　street　began　to　swarm　and　whirl　and　quiver　with　the
motley　life　of　a　huge　city：　beggars　and　jugglers；　dancers　and
musicians；　gilded　youths　in　their　chariots；　and　daughters　of
joy　looking　out　from　their　windows；　all　intoxicated　with　the
mere　delight　of　living　and　the　gladness　of　a　new　day。　　The
pagan　populace　of　Antiochreckless；　pleasure…loving；
spendthriftwere　preparing　for　the　Saturnalia。　　But　all　this
Hermas　had　renounced。　　He　cleft　his　way　through　the　crowd
slowly；　like　a　reluctant　swimmer　weary　of　breasting　the　tide。

At　the　corner　of　the　street　where　the　narrow；　populous
Lane　of　the　Camel…drivers　crossed　the　Colonnades；　a
storyteller　had　bewitched　a　circle　of　people　around　him。　　It
was　the　same　old　tale　of　love　and　adventure　that　many
generations　have　listened　to；　but　the　lively　fancy　of　the
hearers　rent　it　new　interest；　and　the　wit　of　the　improviser
drew　forth　sighs　of　interest　and　shouts　of　laughter。

A　yellow…haired　girl　on　the　edge　of　the　throng　turned；　as
Hermas　passed；　and　smiled　in　his　face。　　She　put　out　her　hand
and　caught　him　by　the　sleeve。

〃Stay；〃　she　said；　〃and　laugh　a　bit　with　us。　　I　know　who
you　arethe　son　of　Demetrius。　　You　must　have　bags　of　gold。
Why　do　you　look　so　black？　　Love　is　alive　yet。〃

Hermas　shook　off　her　hand；　but　not　ungently。

〃I　don't　know　wha