first epilogue-第9节

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day；　her　husband　returned　home；　or　a　sick　child　was　convalescent；　or

when　she　and　Countess　Mary　spoke　of　Prince　Andrew　（she　never　mentioned

him　to　her　husband；　who　she　imagined　was　jealous　of　Prince　Andrew's

memory）；　or　on　the　rare　occasions　when　something　happened　to　induce

her　to　sing；　a　practice　she　had　quite　abandoned　since　her　marriage。　At

the　rare　moments　when　the　old　fire　did　kindle　in　her　handsome；　fully

developed　body　she　was　even　more　attractive　than　in　former　days。

　　Since　their　marriage　Natasha　and　her　husband　had　lived　in　Moscow；　in

Petersburg；　on　their　estate　near　Moscow；　or　with　her　mother；　that　is

to　say；　in　Nicholas'　house。　The　young　Countess　Bezukhova　was　not　often

seen　in　society；　and　those　who　met　her　there　were　not　pleased　with　her

and　found　her　neither　attractive　nor　amiable。　Not　that　Natasha　liked

solitude…　she　did　not　know　whether　she　liked　it　or　not；　she　even

thought　that　she　did　not…　but　with　her　pregnancies；　her

confinements；　the　nursing　of　her　children；　and　sharing　every　moment　of

her　husband's　life；　she　had　demands　on　her　time　which　could　be

satisfied　only　by　renouncing　society。　All　who　had　known　Natasha　before

her　marriage　wondered　at　the　change　in　her　as　at　something

extraordinary。　Only　the　old　countess　with　her　maternal　instinct　had

realized　that　all　Natasha's　outbursts　had　been　due　to　her　need　of

children　and　a　husband…　as　she　herself　had　once　exclaimed　at

Otradnoe　not　so　much　in　fun　as　in　earnest…　and　her　mother　was　now

surprised　at　the　surprise　expressed　by　those　who　had　never

understood　Natasha；　and　she　kept　saying　that　she　had　always　known　that

Natasha　would　make　an　exemplary　wife　and　mother。

　　〃Only　she　lets　her　love　of　her　husband　and　children　overflow　all

bounds；〃　said　the　countess；　〃so　that　it　even　becomes　absurd。〃

　　Natasha　did　not　follow　the　golden　rule　advocated　by　clever　folk；

especially　by　the　French；　which　says　that　a　girl　should　not　let

herself　go　when　she　marries；　should　not　neglect　her　accomplishments；

should　be　even　more　careful　of　her　appearance　than　when　she　was

unmarried；　and　should　fascinate　her　husband　as　much　as　she　did

before　he　became　her　husband。　Natasha　on　the　contrary　had　at　once

abandoned　all　her　witchery；　of　which　her　singing　had　been　an　unusually

powerful　part。　She　gave　it　up　just　because　it　was　so　powerfully

seductive。　She　took　no　pains　with　her　manners　or　with　of　speech；　or

with　her　toilet；　or　to　show　herself　to　her　husband　in　her　most

becoming　attitudes；　or　to　avoid　inconveniencing　him　by　being　too

exacting。　She　acted　in　contradiction　to　all　those　rules。　She　felt　that

the　allurements　instinct　had　formerly　taught　her　to　use　would　now　be

merely　ridiculous　in　the　eyes　of　her　husband；　to　whom　she　had　from　the

first　moment　given　herself　up　entirely…　that　is；　with　her　whole

soul；　leaving　no　corner　of　it　hidden　from　him。　She　felt　that　her　unity

with　her　husband　was　not　maintained　by　the　poetic　feelings　that　had

attracted　him　to　her；　but　by　something　else…　indefinite　but　firm　as

the　bond　between　her　own　body　and　soul。

　　To　fluff　out　her　curls；　put　on　fashionable　dresses；　and　sing

romantic　songs　to　fascinate　her　husband　would　have　seemed　as　strange

as　to　adorn　herself　to　attract　herself。　To　adorn　herself　for　others

might　perhaps　have　been　agreeable…　she　did　not　know…　but　she　had　no

time　at　all　for　it。　The　chief　reason　for　devoting　no　time　either　to

singing；　to　dress；　or　to　choosing　her　words　was　that　she　really　had　no

time　to　spare　for　these　things。

　　We　know　that　man　has　the　faculty　of　becoming　completely　absorbed

in　a　subject　however　trivial　it　may　be；　and　that　there　is　no　subject

so　trivial　that　it　will　not　grow　to　infinite　proportions　if　one's

entire　attention　is　devoted　to　it。

　　The　subject　which　wholly　engrossed　Natasha's　attention　was　her

family：　that　is；　her　husband　whom　she　had　to　keep　so　that　he　should

belong　entirely　to　her　and　to　the　home；　and　the　children　whom　she

had　to　bear；　bring　into　the　world；　nurse；　and　bring　up。

　　And　the　deeper　she　penetrated；　not　with　her　mind　only　but　with　her

whole　soul；　her　whole　being；　into　the　subject　that　absorbed　her；　the

larger　did　that　subject　grow　and　the　weaker　and　more　inadequate　did

her　powers　appear；　so　that　she　concentrated　them　wholly　on　that　one

thing　and　yet　was　unable　to　accomplish　all　that　she　considered

necessary。

　　There　were　then　as　now　conversations　and　discussions　about　women's

rights；　the　relations　of　husband　and　wife　and　their　freedom　and

rights；　though　these　themes　were　not　yet　termed　questions　as　they

are　now；　but　these　topics　were　not　merely　uninteresting　to　Natasha；

she　positively　did　not　understand　them。

　　These　questions；　then　as　now；　existed　only　for　those　who　see　nothing

in　marriage　but　the　pleasure　married　people　get　from　one　another；　that

is；　only　the　beginnings　of　marriage　and　not　its　whole　significance；

which　lies　in　the　family。

　　Discussions　and　questions　of　that　kind；　which　are　like　the

question　of　how　to　get　the　greatest　gratification　from　one's　dinner；

did　not　then　and　do　not　now　exist　for　those　for　whom　the　purpose　of

a　dinner　is　the　nourishment　it　affords；　and　the　purpose　of　marriage　is

the　family。

　　If　the　purpose　of　dinner　is　to　nourish　the　body；　a　man　who　eats

two　dinners　at　once　may　perhaps　get　more　enjoyment　but　will　not　attain

his　purpose；　for　his　stomach　will　not　digest　the　two　dinners。

　　If　the　purpose　of　marriage　is　the　family；　the　person　who　wishes　to

have　many　wives　or　husbands　may　perhaps　obtain　much　pleasure；　but　in

that　case　will　not　have　a　family。

　　If　the　purpose　of　food　is　nourishment　and　the　purpose　of　marriage　is

the　family；　the　whole　question　resolves　itself　into　not　eating　more

than　one　can　digest；　and　not　having　more　wives　or　husbands　than　are

needed　for　the　family…　that　is；　one　wife　or　one　husband。　Natasha

needed　a　husband。　A　husband　was　given　her　and　he　gave　her　a　family。

And　she　not　only　saw　no　need　of　any　other　or　better　husband；　but　as

all　the　powers　of　her　soul　were　intent　on　serving　that　husband　and

family；　she　could　not　imagine　and　saw　no　interest　in　imagining　how

it　would　be　if　things　were　different。

　　Natasha　did　not　care　for　society　in　general；　but　prized　the　more　the

society　of　her　relatives…　Countess　Mary；　and　her　brother；　her

mother；　and　Sonya。　She　valued　the　company　of　those　to　whom　she　could

come　striding　disheveled　from　the　nursery　in　her　dressing　gown；　and

with　joyful　face　show　a　yellow　instead　of　a　green　stain　on　baby's

napkin；　and　from　whom　she　could　hear　reassuring　words　to　the　effect

that　baby　was　much　better。

　　To　such　an　extent　had　Natasha　let　herself　go　that　the　way　she

dressed　and　did　her　hair；　her　ill…chosen　words；　and　her　jealousy…

she　was　jealous　of　Sonya；　of　the　governess；　and　of　every　woman；　pretty

or　plain…　were　habitual　subjects　of　jest　to　those　about　her。　The

general　opinion　was　that　Pierre　was　under　his　wife's　thumb；　which

was　really　true。　From　the　very　first　days　of　their　married　life

Natasha　had　announced　her　demands。　Pierre　was　greatly　surprised　by　his

wife's　view；　to　him　a　perfectly　novel　one；　that　every　moment　of　his

life　belonged　to　her　and　to　the　family。　His　wife's　demands

astonished　him；　but　they　also　flattered　him；　and　he　submitted　to　them。

　　Pierre's　subjection　consisted　in　the　fact　that　he　not　only　dared　not

flirt　with；　but　dared　not　even　speak　smilingly　to；　any　other　woman；

did　not　dare　dine　at　the　Club　as　a　pastime；　did　not　dare　spend　money　a

whim；　and　did　not　dare　absent　himself　for　any　length　of　time；　except

on　business…　in　which　his　wife　included　his　intellectual　pursuits；

which　she　did　not　in　the　least　understand　but　to　which　she

attributed　great　importance。　To　make　up　for　this；　at　home　Pierre　had

the　right　to　regulate　his　life　and　that　of　the　whole　family　exactly　as

he　chose。　At　home　Natasha　placed　herself　in　the　position　of　a　slave　to

her　husband；　and　the　whole　household　went　on　tiptoe　when　he　was

occupied…　that　is；　was　reading　or　writing　in　his　study。　Pierre　had　but

to　show　a　partiality　for　anything　to　get　just　what　he　liked　done

always。　He　had　only　to　express　a　wish　and　Natasha　would　jump　up　and

run　to　fulfill　it。

　　The　entire　household　was　governed　according　to　Pierre's　supposed

orders；　that　is；　by　his　wishes　which　Natasha　tried　to　guess。　Their　way

of　life　and　place　of　residence；　their　acquaintances　and　ties；

Natasha's　occupations；　the　children's　upbringing；　were　all　selected

not　merely　with　regard　to　Pierre's　expressed　wishes；　but　to　what

Natasha　from　the　thoughts　he　expressed　in　conversation　supposed　his

wishes　to　be。　And　she　deduced　the　essentials　of　his　wishes　quite

correctly；　and　having　once　arrived　at　them　clung　to　them

tenaciously。　When　Pierre　himself　wanted　to　change　his　mind　she　would

fight　him　with　his　own　weapons。

　　Thus　in　a　time　of　trouble　ever　memorable　to　him　after　the　birth　of

their　first　child　who　was　delicate；　when　they　had　to　change　the　wet

nurse　three　times　and　Natasha　fell　ill　from　despair