a tale of two cities(双城记)-第44节
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very curious to me; perhaps; to your better information it may be less so。'
Glancing at his hands; which were discoloured by his late work; the Doctor looked troubled; and listened attentively。 He had already glanced at his hands more than once。
‘Doctor Manette;' said Mr。 Lorry; touching him affectionately on the arm; ‘the case is the case of a particularly dear friend of mine。 Pray give your mind to it; and advise me well for his sakeand above all; for his daughter'shis daughter's; my dear Manette。'
‘If I understand;' said the Doctor; in a subdued tone; ‘some mental shock…?'
‘Yes!'
‘Be explicit;' said the Doctor。 ‘Spare no detail。'
Mr。 Lorry saw that they understood one another; and proceeded。
‘My dear Manette; it is the case of an old and a prolonged shock; of great acuteness and severity to the affections; the feelings; thetheas you express itthe mind。 The mind。 It is the case of a shock under which the sufferer was borne down; one cannot say for how long; because I believe he cannot calculate the time himself; and there are no other means of getting at it。 It is the case of a shock from which the sufferer recovered; by a process that he cannot trace himselfas I once heard him publicly relate in a striking manner。 It is the case of a shock from which he has recovered; so completely; as to be a highly intelligent man; capable of close application of mind; and great exertion of body; and of constantly making fresh additions to his stock of knowledge; which was already very large。 But; unfortunately; there has been'he paused add took a deep breath‘a slight relapse。'
The Doctor; in a low voice; asked; ‘Of how long duration?'
‘Nine days and nights。'
‘How did it show itself? I infer;' glancing at his hands again; ‘in the resumption of some old pursuit connected with the shock?'
‘That is the fact。'
‘Now; did you ever see him;' asked the Doctor; distinctly and collectedly; though in the same low voice; ‘engaged in that pursuit originally?'
‘Once。'
‘And when the relapse fell on him; was he in most respectsor in all respectsas he was then?'
‘I think in all respects。'
‘You spoke of his daughter。 Does his daughter know of the relapse?'
‘No。 It has been kept from her; and I hope will always be kept from her。 It is known only to myself; and to one other who may be trusted。'
The Doctor grasped his hand; and murmured; ‘That was very kind。 That was very thoughtful!' Mr。 Lorry grasped his hand in return; and neither of the two spoke for a little while。
‘Now; my dear Manette;' said Mr。 Lorry; at length; in his most considerate and most affectionate way; ‘I am a mere man of business; and unfit to cope with such intricate and difficult matters。 I do not possess the kind of information necessary; I do not possess the kind of intelligence; I want guiding。 There is no man in this world on whom I could so rely for right guidance; as on you。 Tell me; how does this relapse come about? Is there danger of another? Could a repetition of it be prevented? How should a repetition of it be treated? How does it come about at all? What can I do for my friend? No man ever can have been more desirous in his heart to serve a friend; than I am to serve mine; if I knew how。 But I don't know how to originate; in such a case。 If your sagacity; knowledge; and experience; could put me on the right track; I might be able to do so much; unenlightened and undirected; I can do so little。 Pray discuss it with me; pray enable me to see it a little more clearly; and teach me how to be a little more useful。'
Doctor Manette sat meditating after these earnest words were spoken; and Mr。 Lorry did not press him。
‘I think so' it probable;' said the Doctor; breaking silence with an effort; ‘that the relapse you have described; my dear friend; was not quite unforeseen by its subject。'
‘Was it dreaded by him?' Mr。 Lorry ventured to ask。
‘Very much。' He said it with an involuntary shudder。
‘You have no idea how such an apprehension weighs on the sufferer's mind; and how difficulthow almost impossibleit is; for him to force himself to utter a word upon the topic that oppresses him。'
‘Would he;' asked Mr。 Lorry; ‘he sensibly relieved if he could prevail upon himself to impart that secret brooding to any one; when it is on him?'
‘I think so。 But it is; as I have told you; next to impossible。 I even believe itin some casesto be quite impossible。'
‘Now;' said Mr。 Lorry; gently laying his hand on the Doctor's arm again; after a short silence on both sides; ‘to what would you refer this attack?'
‘I believe;' returned Doctor Manette; ‘that there had been a strong and extraordinary revival of the train of thought and remembrance that was the first cause of the malady。 Some intense associations of a most distressing nature were vividly recalled; I think。 It is probable that there had long been a dread lurking in his mind; that those associations would be recalledsay; under certain circumstancessay; on a particular occasion。 He tried to prepare himself in vain; perhaps the effort to prepare himself made him less able to bear it。'
‘Would he remember what took place in the relapse?' asked Mr。 Lorry; with natural hesitation。
The Doctor looked desolately round the room; shook his head; and answered; in a low voice; ‘Not at all。'
‘Now; as to the future;' hinted Mr。 Lorry。
‘As to the future;' said the Doctor; recovering firmness; ‘I should have great hope。 As it pleased Heaven in its mercy to restore him so soon; I should have great hope。 He; yielding under the pressure of a complicated something; long dreaded and long vaguely foreseen and contended against; and recovering after the cloud had burst and passed; I should hope that the worst was over。'
‘Well; well! That's good comfort。 I am thankful!' said Mr。 Lorry。
‘I am thankful!' repeated the Doctor; bending his head with reverence。
‘There are two other points;' said Mr。 Lorry; ‘on which I am anxious to be instructed。 I may go on?
‘You cannot do your friend a better service。' The Doctor gave him his hand。
‘To the first; then。 He is of a studious habit; and unusually energetic; he applies himself with great ardour to the acquisition of professional knowledge; to the conducting of experiments; to many things。 Now; does he do too much?'
‘I think not。 It may be the character of his mind; to be always in singular need of occupation。 That may be; in part; natural to it; in part; the result of affliction。 The less it was occupied with healthy things; the more it would be in danger of turning in the unhealthy direction。 He may have observed himself; and made the discovery。'
‘You are sure that he is not under too great a strain?'
‘I think I am quite sure of it。'
‘My dear Manette; if he were overworked now'
‘My dear Lorry; I doubt if that could easily be。 There has been a violent stress in one direction; and it needs a counter…weight。'
‘Excuse me; as a persistent man of business。 Assuming for a moment; that he was overworked; it would show itself in some renewal of this disorder?'
‘I do not think so。 I do not think;' said Doctor Manette with the firmness of self…conviction; ‘that anything but the one train of association would renew it。 I think that; hence…forth; nothing but some extraordinary jarring of that chord could renew it。 Alter what has happened; and after his recovery; I find it difficult to imagine any such violent sounding of that string again。 I trust; and I almost believe; that the circumstances likely to renew it are exhausted。'
He spoke with the diffidence of a man who knew how slight a thing would overset the delicate organisation of the mind; and yet with the confidence of a man who had slowly won his assurance out of personal endurance and distress。 It was not for his friend to abate that confidence。 He professed himself more relieved and encouraged than he really was; and approached his second and last point。 He felt it to be the most difficult of all; but; remembering his old Sunday morning conversation with Miss Pross; and remembering what he had seen in the last nine days; he knew that he must face it。
‘The occupation resumed under the influence of this passing affliction so happily recovered from;' said Mr。 Lorry; clearing his throat; ‘we will call…Blacksmith's work; Blacksmith's work。 We will say; to put a case and for the sake of illustration; that he had been used; in his bad time; to work at a little forge。 We will say that he was unexpectedly found at his forge again。 Is it not a pity that he should keep it by him?'
The Doctor shaded his forehead with his hand; and beat his foot nervously on the ground。
‘He has always kept it by him;' said Mr。 Lorry; with an anxious look at his friend。 ‘Now; would it not be better that he should let it go?'
Still; the Doctor; with shaded forehead; beat his foot nervously on the ground。
‘You do not find it easy to advise me?' said Mr。 Lorry。
‘I quite understand it to be a nice question。 And yet I think…' And there he shook his head; and stopped。
‘You see;' said Doctor Manette; turning to him after an uneasy pause; ‘it is very hard to explain; consistently; the innermost workings of this poor man's mind。 He once yearned so frightfully for that occupation; and it w