a tale of two cities(双城记)-第36节

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don；　that　fine　morning。　
　‘Father；'　said　Young　Jerry；　as　they　walked　along：　taking　care　to　keep　at　arm's　length　and　to　have　the　stool　well　between　them：　‘what's　a　ResurrectionMan？'　
　Mr。　Cruncher　came　to　a　stop　on　the　pavement　before　lie　answered；　‘How　should　I　know？'　
　‘I　thought　you　knowed　everything；　father；'　said　the　artless　boy。　
　‘Hem！　Well；'　returned　Mr。　Cruncher；　going　on　again；　and　lifting　off　his　hat　to　give　his　spikes　free　play；　‘he's　a　tradesman。'　
　‘What‘s　his　goods；　father？'　asked　the　brisk　Young　Jerry。　
　‘His　goods；'　said　Mr。　Cruncher；　after　turning　it　over　in　his　mind；　is　a　branch　of　Scientific　goods。'　
　‘Persons'　bodies；　ain't　it；　father？'　asked　the　lively　boy。　
　‘I　believe　it　is　something　of　that　sort；'　said　Mr。　Cruncher。　
　‘Oh；　father；　I　should　so　like　to　be　a　Resurrectionman　when　I　‘m　quite　growed　up！'　
　Mr。　Cruncher　was　soothed；　but　shook　his　head　in　a　dubious　and　moral　way。　‘It　depends　upon　how　you　dewelop　your　talents。　Be　careful　to　dewelop　your　talents；　and　never　to　say　no　more　than　you　can　help　to　nobody；　and　there's　no　telling　at　the　present　time　what　you　may　not　come　to　be　fit　for。'　As　Young　Jerry；　thus　encouraged；　went　on　a　few　yards　in　advance；　to　plant　the　stool　in　the　shadow　of　the　Bar；　Mr。　Cruncher　added　to　himself：　‘Jerry；　you　honest　tradesman；　there's　hopes　wot　that　boy　will　yet　be　a　blessing　to　you；　and　a　recompense　to　you　for　his　mother！　

CHAPTER　XVII
One　Night
NEVER　did　the　sun　go　down　with　a　brighter　glory　on　the　quiet　comer　in　Soho；　than　one　memorable　evening　when　Doctor　and　his　daughter　sat　under　the　plane…tree　together。　Never　did　the　moon　rise　with　a　milder　radiance　over　great　London；　than　on　that　night　when　it　found　them　still　seated　under　the　tree；　and　shone　upon　their　faces　through　its　leaves。　
　Lucie　was　to　be　married　to…morrow。　She　had　reserved　this　last　evening　for　her　father；　and　they　sat　alone　under　the　plane…tree。　
　‘You　are　happy；　my　dear　father？'　
　‘Quite；　my　child。'　
　They　had　said　little　though　they　had　been　there　a　long　time。　When　it　was　yet　light　enough　to　work　and　read；　she　had　neither　engaged　herself　in　her　usual　work；　nor　had　she　read　to　him。　She　had　employed　herself　in　both　ways；　at　his　side　under　the　tree；　many　and　many　a　time；　but；　this　time　was　not　quite　like　any　other；　and　nothing　could　make　it　so。　
　And　I　am　very　happy　to…night；　dear　father。　I　am　deeply　happy　in　the　love　that　Heaven　has　so　blessedmy　love　for　Charles；　and　Charles's　love　for　me。　But；　if　my　life　were　not　to　be　still　consecrated　to　you；　or　if　my　marriage　were　so　arranged　as　that　it　would　part　us；　even　by　the　length　of　a　few　of　these　streets；　I　should　be　more　unhappy　and　self…reproachful　now　than　I　can　tell　you。　Even　as　it　is…'　
　Even　as　it　was；　she　could　not　command　her　voice。　
　In　the　sad　moonlight；　she　clasped　him　by　the　neck；　and　lad　her　face　upon　his　breast。　In　the　moonlight　which　is　always　sad；　as　the　light　of　the　sun　itself　Bas　the　light　called　human　life　is…at　its　coming　and　its　going。　
　‘Dearest　dear！　Can　you　tell　me；　this　last　time；　that　you　feel　quite；　quite　sure；　no　new　affections　of　mine；　and　no　new　duties　of　mine；　will　ever　interpose　between　us？　I　know　it　well；　but　do　you　know　it？　In　your　own　heart；　do　you　feel　quite　certain？'　
　Her　father　answered；　with　a　cheerful　firmness　of　conviction　he　could　scarcely　have　assumed；　‘Quite　sure；　my　darling！　More　than　that；'　he　added；　as　he　tenderly　kissed　her：　‘my　future　is　far　brighter；　Lucie；　seen　through　your　marriage；　than　it　could　have　beennay；　than　it　ever　waswithout　it。'　
‘If　I　could　hope　that；　my　father！…'　
　‘Believe　it；　love！　Indeed　it　is　so。　Consider　how　natural　and　how　plain　it　is；　my　dear；　that　it　should　be　so。　You；　devoted　and　young；　cannot　fully　appreciate　the　anxiety　I　have　felt　that　your　life　should　not　be　wasted'　
　She　moved　her　hand　towards　his　lips；　but　he　took　it　in　his；　and　repeated　the　word。　
　‘wasted；　my　childshould　not　be　wasted；　struck　aside　from　the　natural　order　of　thingsfor　my　sake。　Your　unselfishness　cannot　entirely　comprehend　how　much　my　mind　has　gone　on　this；　but；　only　ask　yourself　how　could　my　happiness　be　perfect；　while　yours　was　incomplete？'　
　‘If　I　had　never　seen　Charles；　my　father；　I　should　have　been　quite　happy　with　you。'　
　He　smiled　at　her　unconscious　admission　that　she　would　have　been　unhappy　without　Charles；　having　seen　him；　and　replied：　
　‘My　child；　you　did　see　him；　and　it　is　Charles。　If　it　had　not　been　Charles；　it　would　have　been　another。　Or；　if　it　had　been　no　other；　I　should　have　been　the　cause；　and　then　the　dark　part　of　my　life　would　have　cast　its　shadow　beyond　myself　and　would　have　fallen　on　you。'　
　It　was　the　first　time；　except　at　the　trial；　of　her　ever　hearing　him　refer　to　the　period　of　his　suffering。　It　gave　her　a　strange　and　new　sensation　while　his　words　were　in　her　ears；　and　she　remembered　it　long　afterwards。　
　‘See！'　said　the　Doctor　of　Beauvais；　raising　his　hand　towards　the　moon。　‘I　have　looked　at　her　from　my　prison…window；　when　I　could　not　bear　her　light。　I　have　looked　at　her　when　it　has　been　such　torture　to　me　to　think　of　her　shining　upon　what　I　had　lost；　that　I　have　beaten　my　head　against　my　prison…walls。　I　have　looked　at　her；　in　a　state　so　dull　and　lethargic；　that　I　have　thought　of　nothing　but　the　number　of　horizontal　lines　‘I　could　draw　across　her　at　the　full；　and　the　number　of　perpendicular　lines　with　which　I　could　intersect　them。'　He　added　in　his　inward　and　pondering　manner；　as　he　looked　at　the　moon；　‘It　was　twenty　either　way；　I　remember；　and　the　twentieth　was　difficult　to　squeeze　in。'　
　The　strange　thrill　with　which　she　heard　him　go　back　to　that　time；　deepened　as　he　dwelt　upon　it；　but；　there　was　nothing　to　shock　her　in　the　manner　of　his　reference。　He　only　seemed　to　contrast　his　present　cheerfulness　and　felicity　with　the　dire　endurance　that　was　over。　
‘I　have　looked　at　her；　speculating　thousands　of　times　upon　the　unborn　child　from　whom　I　had　been　rent。　Whether　it　was　alive。　Whether　it　had　been　born　alive；　or　the　poor　mother's　shock　had　killed　it。　Whether　it　was　a　son　who　would　some　day　avenge　his　father。　（There　was　a　time　in　my　imprisonment；　when　my　desire　for　vengeance　was　unbearable。）　Whether　it　was　a　son　who　would　never　know　his　father's　story；　who　might　even　live　to　weigh　the　possibility　of　his　father's　having　disappeared　of　his　own　will　and　act。　Whether　it　was　a　daughter　who　would　grow　to　be　a　woman。'　
　She　drew　closer　to　him；　and　kissed　his　cheek　and　his　hand。　‘I　have　pictured　my　daughter；　to　myself；　as　perfectly　forgetful　of　merather；　altogether　ignorant　of　me；　and　unconscious　of　me。　I　have　cast　up　the　years　of　her　age；　year　after　year。　I　have　seen　her　married　to　a　man　who　knew　nothing　of　my　fate。　I　have　altogether　perished　from　the　remembrance　of　the　living；　and　in　the　next　generation　my　place　was　a　blank。'　
　‘My　father！　Even　to　hear　that　you　had　such　thoughts　of　a　daughter　who　never　existed；　strikes　to　my　heart　as　if　I　had　been　that　child。'　
　‘You；　Lucie？　It　is　out　of　the　consolation　and　restoration　you　have　brought　to　me；　that　these　remembrances　arise；　and　pass　between　us　and　the　moon　on　this　last　night。what　did　I　say　just　now？'　
　She　knew　nothing　of　you。　She　cared　nothing　for　you。'　
　‘So！　But　on　other　moonlight　nights；　when　the　sadness　and　the　silence　have　touched　me　in　a　different　wayhave　affected　me　with　something　as　like　a　sorrowful　sense　of　peace；　as　any　emotion　that　had　pain　for　its　foundations　couldI　have　imagined　her　as　coming　to　me　in　my　cell；　and　leading　me　out　into　the　freedom　beyond　the　fortress。　I　have　seen　her　image　in　the　moonlight　often；　as　I　now　see　you；　except　that　I　never　held　her　in　my　arms；　it　stood　between　the　little　grated　window　and　the　door。　But；　you　understand　that　that　was　not　the　child　I　am　speaking　of？'　
　‘The　figure　was　not；　thetheimage；　the　fancy？'　
　‘No。　That　was　another　thing。　It　stood　before　my　disturbed　sense　of　sight；　but　it　never　moved。　The　phantom　that　my　mind　pursued；　was　another　and　more　real　child。　Of　her　outward　appearance　I　know　no　more　than　that　she　was　like　her　mother。　The　other　had　that　likeness　tooas　you　havebut　was　not　the　same。　Can　you　follow　me；　Lucie？　Hardly；　I　think　I　‘doubt　you　must　have　beer；　a　solitary　prisoner　to　understand　these　prisoner　perplexed　distinctions。　
　His　collected　and　calm　manner　could　not　prevent　her　blood　from　running　cold；　as　he　thus　tried　to　anatomise　his　old　condition。　
　‘In　that　more　peaceful　state；　I　have　imagined　her；　in　the　moonlight；　coming　to　me　and　taking　me　out　to　show　me　that　the　home　of　her　married　life　was　lull　of　her　loving　remembrance　of　her　lost　father。　My　picture　was　in　her　room；　and　I　was　in　her　prayers。　Her　life　was　active；　cheerful；　useful；　hut　my　poor　history　pervaded　it　all。'　
　‘I　was　that　child；my　father。　I　was　not　half　so　good；　but　in　my　love　that　was　I。'　
　‘And　she　showed　me　her　children；'　said　the　Doctor　of　Beauvais；　‘and　they　had　heard　of　me；　and　had　been　taught　to　pity　me。　When　they　passed　a　prison　of　the　State；　they　kept　far　from　its　frowning　walls；　and　looked　up　at　its　bars；　and　spoke　in　whispers。　She　could　never　deliver　me；　I　imagined　that　she　always　brought　me　back　after　showing　me　such　things。　But　then；　blessed　with　the　relief　of　tears；　I　fell　upon　my　knees；　and　blessed　her。'　
　‘I　am　that　child；　I　hope；　my　father。　O　my　dear；　my　dear；　will　you　ble