the life of charlotte bronte-1-第41节

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。　　Things　are　not　settled；　yet　it　is　sufficient　to　say　we　have　a　CHANCE　of　going　for　half　a　year。　Dewsbury　Moor　is　relinquished。　　Perhaps；　fortunately　so。　　In　my　secret　soul；　I　believe　there　is　no　cause　to　regret　it。　　My　plans　for　the　future　are　bounded　to　this　intention：　　if　I　once　get　to　Brussels；　and　if　my　health　is　spared；　I　will　do　my　best　to　make　the　utmost　of　every　advantage　that　shall　come　within　my　reach。　When　the　half…year　is　expired；　I　will　do　what　I　can。

*　*　*

〃Believe　me；　though　I　was　born　in　April；　the　month　of　cloud　and　sunshine；　I　am　not　changeful。　　My　spirits　are　unequal；　and　sometimes　I　speak　vehemently；　and　sometimes　I　say　nothing　at　all；　but　I　have　a　steady　regard　for　you；　and　if　you　will　let　the　cloud　and　shower　pass　by；　be　sure　the　sun　is　always　behind；　obscured；　but　still　existing。〃


At　Christmas　she　left　her　situation；　after　a　parting　with　her　employers　which　seems　to　have　affected　and　touched　her　greatly。　〃They　only　made　too　much　of　me；〃　was　her　remark；　after　leaving　this　family；　〃I　did　not　deserve　it。〃


All　four　children　hoped　to　meet　together　at　their　father's　house　this　December。　　Branwell　expected　to　have　a　short　leave　of　absence　from　his　employment　as　a　clerk　on　the　Leeds　and　Manchester　Railway；　in　which　he　had　been　engaged　for　five　months。　　Anne　arrived　before　Christmas…day。　　She　had　rendered　herself　so　valuable　in　her　difficult　situation；　that　her　employers　vehemently　urged　her　to　return；　although　she　had　announced　her　resolution　to　leave　them；　partly　on　account　of　the　harsh　treatment　she　had　received；　and　partly　because　her　stay　at　home；　during　her　sisters'　absence　in　Belgium；　seemed　desirable；　when　the　age　of　the　three　remaining　inhabitants　of　the　parsonage　was　taken　into　consideration。

After　some　correspondence　and　much　talking　over　plans　at　home；　it　seemed　better；　in　consequence　of　letters　which　they　received　from　Brussels　giving　a　discouraging　account　of　the　schools　there；　that　Charlotte　and　Emily　should　go　to　an　institution　at　Lille；　in　the　north　of　France；　which　was　highly　recommended　by　Baptist　Noel；　and　other　clergymen。　　Indeed；　at　the　end　of　January；　it　was　arranged　that　they　were　to　set　off　for　this　place　in　three　weeks；　under　the　escort　of　a　French　lady；　then　visiting　in　London。　　The　terms　were　50L。　each　pupil；　for　board　and　French　alone；　but　a　separate　room　was　to　be　allowed　for　this　sum；　without　this　indulgence；　it　was　lower。　　Charlotte　writes：…


〃January　20th；　1842。

〃I　consider　it　kind　in　aunt　to　consent　to　an　extra　sum　for　a　separate　room。　　We　shall　find　it　a　great　privilege　in　many　ways。　I　regret　the　change　from　Brussels　to　Lille　on　many　accounts；　chiefly　that　I　shall　not　see　Martha。　　Mary　has　been　indefatigably　kind　in　providing　me　with　information。　　She　has　grudged　no　labour；　and　scarcely　any　expense；　to　that　end。　　Mary's　price　is　above　rubies。　　I　have；　in　fact；　two　friendsyou　and　herstaunch　and　true；　in　whose　faith　and　sincerity　I　have　as　strong　a　belief　as　I　have　in　the　Bible。　　I　have　bothered　you　bothyou　especially；　but　you　always　get　the　tongs　and　heap　coals　of　fire　upon　my　head。　　I　have　had　letters　to　write　lately　to　Brussels；　to　Lille；　and　to　London。　　I　have　lots　of　chemises；　nightgowns；　pocket…　handkerchiefs；　and　pockets　to　make；　besides　clothes　to　repair。　　I　have　been；　every　week　since　I　came　home；　expecting　to　see　Branwell；　and　he　has　never　been　able　to　get　over　yet。　　We　fully　expect　him；　however；　next　Saturday。　　Under　these　circumstances　how　can　I　go　visiting？　　You　tantalize　me　to　death　with　talking　of　conversations　by　the　fireside。　　Depend　upon　it；　we　are　not　to　have　any　such　for　many　a　long　month　to　come。　　I　get　an　interesting　impression　of　old　age　upon　my　face；　and　when　you　see　me　next　I　shall　certainly　wear　caps　and　spectacles。〃



CHAPTER　XI



I　am　not　aware　of　all　the　circumstances　which　led　to　the　relinquishment　of　the　Lille　plan。　　Brussels　had　had　from　the　first　a　strong　attraction　for　Charlotte；　and　the　idea　of　going　there；　in　preference　to　any　other　place；　had　only　been　given　up　in　consequence　of　the　information　received　of　the　second…rate　character　of　its　schools。　　In　one　of　her　letters　reference　has　been　made　to　Mrs。　Jenkins；　the　wife　of　the　chaplain　of　the　British　Embassy。　　At　the　request　of　his　brothera　clergyman；　living　not　many　miles　from　Haworth；　and　an　acquaintance　of　Mr。　Bronte'sshe　made　much　inquiry；　and　at　length；　after　some　discouragement　in　her　search；　heard　of　a　school　which　seemed　in　every　respect　desirable。　There　was　an　English　lady　who　had　long　lived　in　the　Orleans　family；　amidst　the　various　fluctuations　of　their　fortunes；　and　who；　when　the　Princess　Louise　was　married　to　King　Leopold；　accompanied　her　to　Brussels；　in　the　capacity　of　reader。　　This　lady's　granddaughter　was　receiving　her　education　at　the　pensionnat　of　Madame　Heger；　and　so　satisfied　was　the　grandmother　with　the　kind　of　instruction　given；　that　she　named　the　establishment；　with　high　encomiums；　to　Mrs。　Jerkins；　and；　in　consequence；　it　was　decided　that；　if　the　terms　suited；　Miss　Bronte　and　Emily　should　proceed　thither。　　M。　Heger　informs　me　that；　on　receipt　of　a　letter　from　Charlotte；　making　very　particular　inquiries　as　to　the　possible　amount　of　what　are　usually　termed　〃extras；〃　he　and　his　wife　were　so　much　struck　by　the　simple　earnest　tone　of　the　letter；　that　they　said　to　each　other：…　〃These　are　the　daughters　of　an　English　pastor；　of　moderate　means；　anxious　to　learn　with　an　ulterior　view　of　instructing　others；　and　to　whom　the　risk　of　additional　expense　is　of　great　consequence。　　Let　us　name　a　specific　sum；　within　which　all　expenses　shall　be　included。〃

This　was　accordingly　done；　the　agreement　was　concluded；　and　the　Brontes　prepared　to　leave　their　native　county　for　the　first　time；　if　we　except　the　melancholy　and　memorable　residence　at　Cowan　Bridge。　　Mr。　Bronte　determined　to　accompany　his　daughters。　　Mary　and　her　brother；　who　were　experienced　in　foreign　travelling；　were　also　of　the　party。　　Charlotte　first　saw　London　in　the　day　or　two　they　now　stopped　there；　and；　from　an　expression　in　one　of　her　subsequent　letters；　they　all；　I　believe；　stayed　at　the　Chapter　Coffee　House；　Paternoster　Rowa　strange；　old…fashioned　tavern；　of　which　I　shall　have　more　to　say　hereafter。

Mary's　account　of　their　journey　is　thus　given。

〃In　passing　through　London；　she　seemed　to　think　our　business　was　and　ought　to　be；　to　see　all　the　pictures　and　statues　we　could。　She　knew　the　artists；　and　know　where　other　productions　of　theirs　were　to　be　found。　　I　don't　remember　what　we　saw　except　St。　Paul's。　Emily　was　like　her　in　these　habits　of　mind；　but　certainly　never　took　her　opinion；　but　always　had　one　to　offer　。　。　。　I　don't　know　what　Charlotte　thought　of　Brussels。　　We　arrived　in　the　dark；　and　went　next　morning　to　our　respective　schools　to　see　them。　　We　were；　of　course；　much　preoccupied；　and　our　prospects　gloomy。　　Charlotte　used　to　like　the　country　round　Brussels。　　'At　the　top　of　every　hill　you　see　something。'　　She　took；　long　solitary　walks　on　the　occasional　holidays。〃

Mr。　Bronte　took　his　daughters　to　the　Rue　d'Isabelle；　Brussels；　remained　one　night　at　Mr。　Jenkins'；　and　straight　returned　to　his　wild　Yorkshire　village。

What　a　contrast　to　that　must　the　Belgian　capital　have　presented　to　those　two　young　women　thus　left　behind！　　Suffering　acutely　from　every　strange　and　unaccustomed　contactfar　away　from　their　beloved　home；　and　the　dear　moors　beyondtheir　indomitable　will　was　their　great　support。　　Charlotte's　own　words；　with　regard　to　Emily；　are：…


〃After　the　age　of　twenty；　having　meantime　studied　alone　with　diligence　and　perseverance；　she　went　with　me　to　an　establishment　on　the　continent。　　The　same　suffering　and　conflict　ensued；　heightened　by　the　strong　recoil　of　her　upright　heretic　and　English　spirit　from　the　gentle　Jesuitry　of　the　foreign　and　Romish　system。　Once　more　she　seemed　sinking；　but　this　time　she　rallied　through　the　mere　force　of　resolution：　　with　inward　remorse　and　shame　she　looked　back　on　her　former　failure；　and　resolved　to　conquer；　but　the　victory　cost　her　dear。　　She　was　never　happy　till　she　carried　her　hard…won　knowledge　back　to　the　remote　English　village；　the　old　parsonage…house；　and　desolate　Yorkshire　hills。〃


They　wanted　learning。　　They　came　for　learning。　　They　would　learn。　Where　they　had　a　distinct　purpose　to　be　achieved　in　intercourse　with　their　fellows；　they　forgot　themselves；　at　all　other　times　they　were　miserably　shy。　　Mrs。　Jenkins　told　me　that　she　used　to　ask　them　to　spend　Sundays　and　holidays　with　her；　until　she　found　that　they　felt　more　pain　than　pleasure　from　such　visits。　　Emily　hardly　ever　uttered　more　than　a　monosyllable。　　Charlotte　was　sometimes　excited　sufficiently　to　speak　eloquently　and　wellon　certain　subjects；　but　before　her　tongue　was　thus　loosened；　she　had　a　habit　of　gradually　wheeling　round　on　her　chair；　so　as　almost　to　conceal　her　face　from　the　person　to　whom　she　was　speaking。

And　yet　there　was　much　in　Brussels　to　strike　a　responsive　chord　in　her　powerful　imagination。　　At　length　she　was　seeing　somewhat　of　that　grand　old　world　of　which　she　had　dreamed。　　As　the　gay　crowds　passed　by　her；　so　had　gay　crowds　paced　those　streets　for　centuries；　in　all　their　varying　costumes。　　Every　spot　told　an　historic　tale；　extending　back　into　the　fabulous　ages　when　Jan　and